A fake system fell from the sky

The sky was still blue, but the training ground was filled with poisonous gas. Dabao himself was dizzy from the smoke, and little stars appeared in his eyes. In less than half an hour, he farted no less than eight times. Looking at the empty training ground, he Get up quickly and stay away from this poisonous space.

Finding a place with fresh air to sit down, he took out a crumpled red plum cigarette and lit it, took a deep breath, exhaled the smoke and sighed, today's event is a big deal!
Thinking of the dozen or so girls who were stunned by his poisonous fart, a deep sense of guilt welled up in his heart. It would be strange if the tigress was not mad at this time. From now on, I am afraid that I will be the biggest in the entire secret service. It's a joke.

In the infirmary, fifteen girls were lying side by side on the hospital bed. They were pale, breathless, and were receiving intravenous drip.

The beautiful instructor looked nervously at a military doctor who had just finished working, "Doctor Sun, are their lives in danger?"

Dr. Sun looked at the beautiful instructor and said calmly, "Don't worry, Colonel Zhao. They are only slightly poisoned and allergic, and they will wake up after the infusion."

Only then did the beautiful instructor breathe a sigh of relief, and she felt relieved. She wasn't afraid of taking responsibility. If she was afraid, she wouldn't be an instructor. It's just that some of these students had accidents, and her heart would never be at ease.

Huamei came over and said to the instructor, "Instructor, that's the case..."

The beautiful instructor listened to her description and couldn't laugh or cry. I didn't expect a person's fart to be so terrifying. Thinking about Zhang Dabao drinking Wudu Tang for 20 days, it seems that everyone will have to stay away from him for the next month. , the farther the safer!
At noon, Dabao came to the cafeteria shamelessly again. As soon as he turned around after eating, he was greeted with more than 40 murderous eyes. He hurried to a deserted place in the northeast corner with his meal.

The thrush girls looked at each other, disregarding the image of a lady, they began to gobble it up, and quickly finished their meal and retreated. This was their only thought at the moment. The movements of the girls at the other tables were no slower than the four of them. Lying in the infirmary.

In the center of the cafeteria, more than 100 guards of honor have just finished their meal and sat down. They performed very well this morning, and none of the team members showed any deviation. Of course, if there were them, they would not be here, and they are still training under the scorching sun.

Just after eating, an unpleasant smell wafted over. At first they didn't take it seriously, thinking that some team member had farted, but when the smell became stronger and stronger, finally someone couldn't stand holding the plate and started to eat. Looking for a place with no air pollution, I searched and found it outside the cafeteria. Some people had to hold their noses and continue to eat halfway through their meal. The more they ate, the closer they got to the plate, and finally posted it.

The final result was that the infirmary was overcrowded, and more than 50 beds were fully occupied. It is said that more than 100 people were sent to the nearest hospital.

On the training ground, more than 40 female students had standard military posture and funny expressions. Some of them secretly glanced at Zhang Dabao, who was thousands of meters away, when the instructors were not paying attention.

The beautiful instructor looked at the figure doing push-ups in the distance, her expression was no longer as serious as before, and 158 people were sent to the hospital with just one meal. Several big leaders were furious but helpless. Can you still send it to a military court?

Turning his head and looking at the student who was struggling to hold back his laughter, his face was instantly stern, "I order everyone to laugh loudly for 3 minutes."

Three minutes later, after the students covered their mouths and finished laughing, they said, "Practice the military posture for an extra hour."

The smiling faces of all the students suddenly turned into bitter gourds.

......

In the afternoon, as soon as the notorious Dabao rode his electric bike out of the house, he was attracted by a loud noise. He was bored at home and wanted to go for a drive. As for collecting energy in crowded places, he was I dare not think about it, for fear of being beaten to death.

After locking the car, he followed the spectators to a courtyard house, which was more than twice the size of the one he rented. There were about 200 people in the courtyard, and an old man and two Taoist priests in Taoist robes stood in the middle .

The people around were chattering non-stop.

"Hey, who knows where Uncle Qiu invited these two Taoist priests?"

"I heard that they were invited from the Temple of the Three Immortals. Well, the older one is Master Jia, and the young Taoist priest next to him is his apprentice."

"I hope these two Taoist priests have real skills. I always feel cold when I sleep in the middle of the night these days. It can't be that there are really unclean things."

"Then don't run away. You said that the rent in our area is so cheap, but many people move out after half a month. It seems that there are really evil things. If it doesn't work, I will change the place. My life is important."

......

Dabao understood the whole story. It turned out that many people who rented houses here often encountered strange things like "ghost pressing the bed" in the middle of the night, and their health became weaker and weaker. They moved out after only staying for more than ten days. Well, there are obviously a lot fewer people renting houses here, so these renters jointly funded and invited Taoist priests to come here to cast down demons.

No wonder the courtyard house I rent is so cheap, and renting a basement elsewhere is more than that price. There is a saying here, but Dabao is contemptuous of ghosts and ghosts. What is the age? Chang’e has landed on the moon, and Tianwen has landed on Mars , I didn't find any heaven in the sky, if there was any, the atmosphere would be the ozone layer, and the immortals would have to suffocate.

"Master Jia, today is all up to you."

Uncle Qiu bowed his hands to Taoist Jia with a very respectful attitude.

Uncle Qiu also has no choice. The building that his son bought in installments in the city and the need for the child to go to college are really overwhelming. Originally, the government department planned to demolish the place last year, but it is not sure until now. The old couple can only rely on Living with the rent, who would have imagined that there would be unforeseen circumstances, the past few months have been non-stop in the middle of the night, and the tenants have left, so he has no choice but to discuss countermeasures with his neighbors. out.

Master Jia said a few polite words to Uncle Qiu, then took out an old compass from his Taoist robe, and said silently: "The heavens and the earth revolve around the nine stars, the yin and yang are in harmony and the gods are in harmony, the five elements are in their positions, and they seek good fortune and avoid evil. Comprehensive.", following the compass pointer, he kept pacing back and forth in the yard.

The compass is mainly composed of a magnetic needle located in the center of the disk and a series of concentric circles. Each circle represents the ancients' understanding of a certain level of the cosmic system.

The ancients believed that the aura of a person is controlled by the aura of the universe, so they used their experience to put information at all levels in the universe, such as the stars in the sky, everything on the earth represented by the five behaviors, and the heavenly stems and earthly branches, etc., all on the compass .

To put it bluntly, it is a compass that can detect the yin and yang aura. The older it is, the more spiritual it is. As for the modern one, it can only be used as a compass.