I really don't want to be a star

Since leaving the set yesterday, Su Zijin's state has not been right.

When filming that scene yesterday, Su Zijin always felt that he seemed to be walking along the veins of Guo Yu, acting naturally.

It's as if the character has been fixed deep inside me, a kind of muscle memory.

Rather than playing a certain role intentionally, or controlling this role, to control what kind of role to perform on what kind of occasion.

Su Zijin lay on the bed thinking over and over about his state on the set.

In the scene filmed yesterday, he felt as if his body was out of control.

The movements of Guo Yu's characters seem to come from the heart.

Although it was smooth and dripping, this feeling of being out of control disgusted him.

The winter night came quickly, and it was completely dark outside at three or four in the afternoon.Su Zijin thought for a while and couldn't figure it out.

So Su Zijin leaned against the window sill of the hotel, with the light shining on his face, he looked at the Songhua River and Songpu Bridge downstairs.

Dotted street lights illuminate the passing vehicles on the bridge.

And on the bridge in the river, it seems to fall into the boundless darkness, and the frozen Songhua River in the sky seems to be a whirlpool, attracting people's eyes and deeply involving their thoughts.

Su Zijin's hotel is located in the Huasheng Hotel on the 23rd floor beside the Songhua River. The location is very good and you can see all the river views.

If it is in summer, half of the city can be seen as bright as day in the evening.

But in such a dark night, Su Zijin could only see the boundless darkness.

As if he was facing endless darkness, those darkness wrapped the sky and fell into a tsunami as high as one side of the 23rd floor, rising from the ground, rolling on Su Zijin's body with heavy pressure.

Su Zijin stared at his face reflected in the glass, and suddenly smiled.

What's wrong with me now?
Suddenly, a white hand appeared behind Su Zijin, resting on his shoulder.

Su Zijin shuddered all over, and turned his head to see that this person was exactly like him.

But the look in the eyebrows and the way he is used to are very different from his own.

"Hey, you must be very strange!"

"who are you?"

"I am you!"

Su Zijin looked at this face that was very similar to his own, as if he had seen this person before.

Suddenly, at some point, he had already walked to the table, picked up a glass of wine and took a sip, then turned around and turned the glass towards himself.

"Would you like some?"

"who are you?"

Su Zijin asked him again.

Seeing the person sitting on the chair with his legs crossed, exactly like himself, he lightly took out a goblet to get a glass of beer, and stretched out his hand to toast himself.

"I am you, but my name is Guo Yu. I am a character created from nothing deep in your heart."

"evidence!"

With one hand, Su Zijin jumped from the window sill to the ground, standing in the middle of the bedroom and examining the drinkers.

Su Zijin froze, this person seemed to turn into a cloud of smoke, shuttled on the window sill where Su Zijin was sitting just now, his eyes seemed to have just left the bridge in front of him.

"Look at what you said, it looks more and more like Guo Yu!
I am you. When you were creating the character Guo Yu, your habits and ideas were a little bit closer to Guo Yu.

And that's who you are now!

You will not be yourself, you will become Guo Yu. "

The person who kept saying that he was Guo Yu repeated Su Zijin's actions just now, then jumped out of the window, sat on the sofa and waved to himself.

"Hello! Guo Yu."

"You're lying, even if I changed myself a bit because of the characters.

But I'm still me, who are you? You don't even exist! "

Su Zijin looked at this self who was exactly the same as himself but completely opposite.

He didn't seem to care too much, just picked up the lighter and cigarettes from the table, and lighted one easily.

"It really is me, the idea is still so sharp."

"You are you! But I'm still me, too."

The person in front of him got off the chair and approached Su Zijin.

Su Zijin could see him getting bigger and bigger, as if a shadow had shrouded his eyes.

"Simply put it! Because you put all your energy on this character, causing you to have another person's habits and speaking methods in your heart."

Su Zijin could see that the body of the person in front of him seemed to be transparent, gradually merging into the space behind him.

"Trust me, all of you will eventually become who you are now!"

"So what? Even if I become Guo Yu, you won't exist."

Su Zijin punched the body of the person in front of him, and then he could be seen changing direction and walking around behind Su Zijin.

"Don't struggle, you didn't realize today, are you not who you used to be?

When you are in the theater, you feel that your movements seem to be performed naturally according to the rhythm.

But your brain is very clear, as if your body is no longer yours..."

Su Zijin was a little dazed, as if he wanted to believe what the person in front of him said, but he smiled in a blink of an eye.

Suddenly, Su Zijin trembled all over.

Standing in the room, I looked at the cigarette with a butt in my hand, and the ash on the table.

Su Zijin suddenly realized that he had just entered the play!

I just simulated Guo Yu's movements and forms.

Performed a play that was not in the script at all.

"Am I getting into the drama too deeply?"

……

"Su Zijin, are you alright?"

Shouting, Su Zijin seemed to come to his senses suddenly, and turned to look.

Deng Jiajia at the door carried a box of gifts, looked into the room, and talked to herself carefully.

"Hey, Su Zijin. Are you all right today?"

Deng Jiajia took a box of food and walked towards Su Zijin. As soon as he approached, he felt the chill from just coming back from the outside.

"Director Lu gave it to you! He seems to think that you are not in the right shape today."

Deng Jiajia looked at Su Zijin's face was pale, and his hair was wet with sweat beads on his forehead. It seemed that he was in a bad state just now.

Deng Jiajia looked at it with concern.

"Are you okay! When I came back just now, I saw you coming down from the window, and then didn't say a word in the mirror.

Then there was a bang on the window, and the window trembled.

I feel that you are not in the right state, so I came to find you. "

Deng Jiajia looked at Su Zijin and said in a low voice.

"You won't be too deep into the drama!"

"I once saw an actor whose acting skills were not very good.

But suddenly in a play, it's like an enlightenment.

The acting skills have improved by leaps and bounds, just like changing someone else.

Later, I saw countless biographies in his room, and the notebooks were densely packed with his annotations on the roles he played.

Originally, we thought that his acting skills had skyrocketed, which was the result of his accumulation.

But later it was found that something was wrong, he was completely different from before.

Whether it's actions or demeanor, they are exactly the same as the person in the play.

At that time, he was acting as a paranoid. He was thinking about the script in the room every day, and he became very paranoid.

I heard from the actor next to his room that he could often hear his dissatisfaction with the performance of the role coming from the room in the middle of the night. "

"and then?"

Su Zijin thought of himself after hearing what Deng Jiajia said.

My current state is very similar to the person she said.

But it's completely different. When I entered the play, what did I see?
Su Zijin looked back at the table, where there was still a bottle of wine and a dirty glass.

Su Zijin was taken aback.

Just had a drink by yourself?
He has no impression at all.

Su Zijin was taken aback by his strength just now.

Hearing that Deng Jiajia was still talking, she seemed to be recalling what she had experienced.

"Then one day in the theater, he had a quarrel with the director, saying how he was doing.

Later, the director also found out that this person was wrong, because he had always been a kind and honest person before, and suddenly his temper exploded.

I found psychological counseling for him, and was later diagnosed with mild paranoia..."

"Okay, don't think too much about it. What I'm saying is that as an actor, it's a good thing to be able to get into the show, but you have to learn to play.

Don't hold yourself too tight all the time, read less scripts every night...

It will be fine if it takes a long time. When I entered the show, I was similar to you.

I see how you are suffering.

Take a break now!By the way, it is really impossible to find psychological counseling. "

"Okay, sister Jiajia, go back and rest! I can solve it myself."

Su Zijin sent Deng Jiajia away and asked at the door.

"What role is he playing!"

Deng Jiajia said something in a low voice.

"He acted like a teacher at the time!

It is said that he is doing very well now, and has really become a teacher.

Now he is teaching in Beijing Film Academy!

Don't think too much, pay attention to rest. "

"Row!"

Su Zijin closed the door, following the brown-red door.

Then suddenly Su Zijin stopped holding the doorknob, and what Deng Jiajia said just now came to mind.

"He... shuts himself in the hut every day."

"The house is tired of tall biography..."

"His whole person is like changing a person."

"He played the teacher...a paranoid teacher"

……

The person Deng Jiajia mentioned is playing a teacher?
Su Zijin thought of this sentence in his mind, and then suddenly thought of himself.

He played a paranoid teacher.

what about me?……

I'm playing a...lawyer with a black belly who kills people by any means!
I won't really be that kind of person!
Su Zijin was taken aback by his own thoughts, lying on the bed, he suddenly asked Gouzi.

"Erha system, get out of here quickly...I have something to ask you."

Erha seems to have just woken up, is there a time difference between the system world and reality?
"what happened?"

Su Zijin told Gouzi about his problem just now, Gouzi thought for a while, and then said.

"Host, I feel like you are taking jujube pills!"

"Go away... why?"

Erha thought for a long time, patting his little head with the puppy's paw.

"Host, it may be because it is in the system space!"

"what?"

"Because, you are constantly entering the host space, which is the virtual simulation platform, and you are constantly simulating the role you want to play in this virtual space.

Over time, your mind gets used to the simulation.

Thus, the two patterns you are used to form a cognitive error!
Let you just form a state.

Your brain automatically recognizes that you are still in the virtual space, so you mobilize that Guo Yu form. "

"Then... can that be removed?"

"Little problem! After you leave this character, he will naturally disappear.

And you don't have to worry about that..."

"All right!"

Su Zijin believed in Gouzi for the time being. His condition is indeed a bit wrong today.

Maybe you have put too much pressure on yourself recently!
Su Zijin looked at the ceiling and thought.