Siheyuan: I, He Yuzhu, an outlaw lunatic

"Ouch? What is this?"

Already stopped the car.

He Yuzhu, who turned his head after hearing the movement, saw Xu Damao who was lying on the ground, shaking his head, a little confused, and asked.

Looked up.

Xu Damao, whose face was covered in shit, became angry from embarrassment: "You are the one!"

"Isn't it a thing?"

He Yuzhu let out a puzzled hum.

Here.

Xu Damao, who had already got up, just patted the dust off his body.

The dirt on the body can be easily wiped off.

The key is the shit on your face...

Xu Damao, who was about to start, hesitated at the end.

"The voice is a bit familiar."

"Could it be Xu Damao?"

at this time.

He Yuzhu, who showed a sudden realization, asked this question.

"Yes, it's me."

Xu Damao is quite a bachelor.

"Hey, what look is this today? Why haven't I seen it before?"

After saying this.

He Yuzhu waved his hands in front of him like this, fanning the wind.

Shit kind of thing.

It was freezing cold.

If cured.

The smell doesn't come out.

But if you mix it together, the smell will come up, and it's still quite unpleasant.

"What is it that smells so bad?"

when saying this.

He Yuzhu looked at Xu Damao with a look of sudden realization: "Xu Damao, when did you have this hobby? Why didn't I know about it before?"

"Can you handle it?"

Xu Damao threw this sentence over.

but.

A pondering.

Xu Damao realized that what He Yuzhu said was wrong.

"Who are you calling a dog?"

now.

Xu Damao wanted to speak louder.

The key is.

The face is full of shit.

a mouth.

If you are not careful.

The shit went in the mouth.

It was also that pile of shit that saved Xu Damao's face and restricted his performance.

"Did I say you're a dog?"

He Yuzhu, who showed innocence, just teased, and then said with a smile: "However, your hobby is quite different! Ordinary people really can't come."

"Stupid column!"

Xu Damao, who let out a loud shout, turned into anger from embarrassment.

Just as Xu Damao was looking around, looking for a weapon at hand.

He Yuzhu only heard a ding dong.

The system is now online.

at the same time.

almost the same time.

He Yuzhu found another wild dog not far away, pulling its hind legs, and began to release itself.

"Scene: Xu Damao looks around, looking for something."

"Option [-]: Host, help him! Anyway, they are all neighbors, and they are all residents of the same compound. If you look down and don't see you, it's a little busy, and for the host, it's just a matter of passing by."

"Choose a reward: ten dollars."

"Option [-]: What is Xu Damao looking for, and what's hindering the host. Anyway, this guy has no good intentions, maybe he's holding back some stupid fart! What are you doing with him?"

"Choose a reward: ten dollars."

With the emergence of two options.

After staring at that still hot, steaming fresh shit.

He Yuzhu had the answer in his heart.

The system is right.

They are all neighbors and live in the same compound.

Look down and see you.

It's rare that Xu Damao has a hobby.

As a neighbor, if you don't help to carry forward, you can't hit others either.

therefore.

He Yuzhu, who had made a choice, immediately said, "Xu Damao, didn't you have enough to eat just now? There is still a stall over there, which is quite fresh!"

Xu Damao, who was looking for a guy, was taken aback when he heard this.

At the beginning.

Xu Damao was still confused.

I didn't understand what He Yuzhu meant.

but.

He is not blind.

You know, while He Yuzhu kindly reminded Xu Damao, he also made gestures to point Xu Damao.

The direction of the finger is Xu Damao's battlefield.

and.

this action.

Up to now.

He Yuzhu is still maintaining.

Following the direction of He Yuzhu's finger, Xu Damao noticed the steaming shit, and his lungs almost exploded on the spot.

The whole person was twitching because of anger.

"You don't need to thank me!"

"Xu Damao, if you like it, destroy it!"

"You're welcome!"

"Helping others is the fundamental thing."

"If you think it's not enough."

Speaking of which.

He Yuzhu looked around again.

This time.

Didn't find any shit.

He Yuzhu, who showed helplessness, said helplessly: "Then we can only wait until the next meal!"

"Silly Zhu, I'll fight with you."

at last.

at this moment.

Xu Damao exploded.

do not know either.

Did he learn that kung fu from Jia Zhang?

But Jia Zhang's is an iron head.

And Xu Damao used the iron face skill.

Xu Damao's wishful thinking is very good.

Anyway.

He already has shit on his face.

I don't have paper towels or anything on my body, so I can wipe it off.

and.

This thing cannot be wiped off.

Unless you wash your face.

but.

Even if you wash it with water, you can't get rid of the smell without soaping it twice.

Xu Damao, who was willing to go all out, planned to harm He Yuzhu as well.

In his opinion.

I was unlucky and hit my face with shit.

He Yuzhu has an inescapable responsibility.

Who made this guy out of shape when he was riding a bike just now, and dodged.

to say.

Xu Damao's accuracy is not bad.

Push the soles of your feet.

He rushed to He Yuzhu with his face.

Normally speaking.

If it were someone who reacted slowly, I'm afraid that Xu Damao's wishful thinking could really come true.

but.

He Yuzhu, who is now a master of Wing Chun, has a level of reaction and body sensitivity that is not comparable to that of ordinary people.

at this time.

The effort rewarded by the system came in handy.

of course.

He Yuzhu had no intention of beating anyone.

Facing Xu Damao who was rushing towards him, He Yuzhu just dodged, and then pressed his right hand on Xu Damao's shoulder, pushing slightly harder.

The two of them rubbed shoulders.

Arguably.

At this time, Xu Damao, who was stumbled, fell to the ground and finished.

but.

Coincidentally.

A stagger does not matter.

Xu Damao, whose center of gravity was unstable, lost the support of his lower body, and his face went straight to the pile of fresh shit.

At that time Xu Damao was depressed.

I didn't get up from the ground for a long time.

"Ouch!"

"I'm sorry, Xu Damao, my hand slipped just now, are you okay?"

Seeing that Xu Damao ignored him.

He Yuzhu, whose eyes widened a little, suddenly realized: "You won't really start moving!"

He didn't continue to pay attention to Xu Damao.

He Yuzhu stepped on his [-]th bar and headed towards the rolling mill.

Wait until He Yuzhu is gone.

Only then did Xu Damao get up.

The expression on the face, how wonderful, how wonderful.

The five sense organs are almost gathered in one place.

"Stupid column!"

"You wait for me."

"This matter is not over!"

With such a loud voice, Xu Damao secretly swears in his heart.

at last.

The anger he suppressed in his heart exploded.

But it is because the release of this voice does not matter, the mouth opens and closes, because the range of movement is relatively large.

at this time.

Xu Damao only felt that something sticky on his lips entered his mouth.

Xu Damao, who forgot what was on his face for a while, took a couple of sips.

What's it like.

Only he himself knows.

soon.

Xu Damao reacted.

Keep bah bah bah bah.

"Md, whose wild dog is this, it's so dishonest, why is it shitting on the road?"

An exasperated Xu Damao cursed in a low voice.

The main face is still covered with a lump.

Just had the experience.

He was afraid that the lump on his face would fall into his mouth again.

This road is the only way for many employees in the rolling mill to go to work.

this point.

It's time to hurry to work.

"What kind of shape is this guy?"

"Ouch! It stinks!"

"He can't have shit on his face!"

"Why does this person look familiar?"

The workers passing by couldn't help looking at Xu Damao's face.

Mainly because it is too attractive.

Xu Damao, who felt that he had lost his place, was in no mood to argue with others.

Although he is just a small projectionist in the rolling mill, he is still somewhat famous in the rolling mill.

Xu Damao, who thought he still had to rely on this face to pick up girls, hurriedly retrieved his [-] big bars, and then left this place quickly.

now.

Xu Damao had only one thought in his mind.

Quickly try to deal with the things on your face.

…………

For workers in rolling mills.

Routine roll call is one of the daily links.

This is the same as the punch card of the 21st century company.

but.

this year.

The so-called roll call is not just a matter of swiping the card, but manual roll call.

basically.

This work is the responsibility of the leader of each group.

only.

Today, because Director Yang also spoke.

and so.

Everyone was summoned to the compound in the factory.

The roll call was also handled by Li Weimin, director of the cafeteria department and deputy director of the factory.

When Xu Damao was clicked.

not far away.

With a sound.

The travel-worn Xu Damao just rushed back, but he was so tired that he was out of breath.

to say.

At this time, Xu Damao just stood at the end of the line.

However, Xu Damao, who wanted to curry favor with Director Li, went straight to Li Weimin all the way, even stood beside Li Weimin, and said out of breath, "Director Li, I'm here."

"It's not too late."

Director Li reported to Director Yang and several other deputy directors in the factory that he was protecting Xu Damao.

in fact.

That's the end of the story.

Prejudice.

at this time.

Director Li sniffed his nose, frowned, and muttered instinctively: "What's the smell, so stinky?"

Ding dong.

at this time.

He Yuzhu heard the reminder that the system was online.

"Scenario: Xu Damao was half a step late for roll call at the rolling mill. Director Li didn't know the reason for the sudden stench."

"Option [-]: Host, although Director Li has a grudge against you, Director Li is your boss after all, and you have asked this question, so why don't you tell him mercifully."

"Choose reward: 30 yuan."

"Option [-]: Director Li doesn't know the reason, so he doesn't know the reason. Anyway, the host has a grudge against him, so don't tell him, don't tell him."

"Choose reward: 30 yuan."

The rewards for both options are the same.

But the content to be operated on the option is completely opposite.

In other words.

This is not a multiple choice question.

Faced with two options, He Yuzhu finally chose option one.

However, He Yuzhu, who made the choice, did not directly answer Director Li's question, but first called Xu Damao, and then pointed to a dog poop on the grass not far away.

"You see what that is?"

He Yuzhu's operation made the people present feel confused.

but.

As the sufferer, Xu Damao's expression changed instantly after he saw the shit clearly.

after all.

Twice in one morning.

If Xu Damao still didn't understand what He Yuzhu was trying to express, then his face would turn pale.

"Bullshit!"

"He Yuzhu, what tricks are you playing?"

Director Li obviously saw that shit too.

but.

He has a good relationship with Xu Damao, and he belongs to the same category.

In addition, Xu Damao often respects him on weekdays.

At this time, Li Weimin defended Xu Damao out of professional ethics.

after all.

Director Li secretly collects money, but he belongs to the type of person who collects money to do things.

"Director Li, didn't you ask where the smell came from?"

"In the morning, when I was going to work, I saw Xu Damao's face covered in dog shit on the road."

"At the time, I was still wondering what was going on."

"However, before I could figure it out, Xu Damao ran towards another stall."

Speaking of this, He Yuzhu smiled and came up with a summary: "This kind of hobby is amazing, and most people can't do it. No, to be precise, people can't do it!"

Haha laughter rang out at this moment.

Even the employees who noticed Xu Damao on the road started talking.

"On the way here, I noticed that someone's face was covered in shit. At first, I thought it was mud, but when I got closer, it smelled bad. At first, I thought who it was, but I didn't expect it to be Xu Damao ah."

"I saw it too."

"Oh my god, it's really Xu Damao. At that time, I suspected it was him!"

…………

As for Director Li.

The leader who presided over the morning roll call meeting of the whole factory did not stop the workers who had different opinions, but moved a little bit closer to Xu Damao. After turning his head slightly and getting closer to Xu Damao, he determined the source of the smell, and then He walked a few steps seemingly casually, widening the distance between him and Xu Damao.

On the other hand, Xu Damao.

At this time, how ugly his face was.

While being angry with He Yuzhu for breaking this matter.

Xu Damao was also puzzled, what kind of shit was it.

Obviously I have washed my face several times, even brushed my teeth three times, why is there still a smell.