roses and lilies

Xiaoya gradually came out of the shadow of depression, she had obviously recovered her former appearance, her fair little face was finally rosy.

For half a year, she struggled with the illness every day, during which I could feel her mood plummeting.She is not interested in anything, no matter how interesting.

Severe insomnia made her look haggard, with sunken eye sockets, listless and out of breath.When I want to sleep, I just can't sleep.My mind is in turmoil, and things are like beads with broken strings that go here and there, but they just can't be strung together.She tried her best to get rid of it, forced herself not to think about it, but couldn't help herself, the limited memory in her brain was already filled by these fragments.

Severe inferiority complex filled her heart, causing her to lose the desire to speak. She just didn't want to express when she was full of words. She was afraid to go out, and she didn't want others to see her pale and haggard face.

No matter what you do, no matter what you do, you will be distracted.It's better in the morning though.But in the afternoon, these terrible feelings and emotions formed a long queue and came to trouble her one after another. She even felt that living in this world was simply suffering.

Countless times, she couldn't bear it and even yelled like crazy.Trembling all over, tears falling from the eyelids like rain, this kind of pain from the inside out is unimaginable.It felt like she had been tortured by the illness in extreme pain.

Although the doctor prescribed some antidepressant drugs for her, she did get better after taking them, but the side effects of the drugs were extremely obvious, such as severe hair loss, loss of appetite, nausea and vomiting, and other symptoms, which made her suffer physically.

Every time I had an attack, I would hug her helplessly to let her emotions gradually stabilize. Her emotions needed to be vented. When she was in pain, she would even bite my shoulder hard to vent her inner emotions.I persevered and survived.After she calmed down, she always lay on my shoulder, looking at her masterpiece, and she couldn't stop crying. She knew that she was not good.Gently kiss the tooth marks on my shoulder with the warm mouth.I know her heart is bleeding right now.Her tears flowed onto my white skin with body temperature, and flowed into my expectant atrium, hoping that Xiaoya would recover as soon as possible.

When the illness broke out, in order to prevent her from having suicidal thoughts.I didn't dare to leave for a moment, and hugged her tightly and refused to let go. She moaned in pain, lay on my shoulder, and cried loudly.At first, she used my shoulder as a tool for her teeth to vent.Later, when she saw the shoulder covered with teeth marks, she couldn't bear to add another wound to me.

I never thought depression could be so painful, so hopeless.Every time she is in pain, my heart is like a knife.I know that as much as I want to help her get rid of the entanglement of her illness, it always backfires.It can only create a comfortable living environment for her from the outside.Take good care of her daily diet and give her more spiritual care.And that's all.The most fundamental thing is to rely on her own will to solve it.

On a warm night, when I was so sleepy that I couldn't bear it, Xiaoya still didn't feel sleepy at all.I was afraid that something might happen to her, so I stayed with her all the time and tried to talk about some happy topics.

She nestles in my arms, it seems that only in this way can she feel at ease, she is afraid of loneliness, afraid of the night, after all night is lonely, and it is also the moment when thousands of loneliness begin.

Through the window, we both saw the vast night sky in the distance.The starlight is bright and vast, and the dim yellow street lamps on Huayuan Street are flickering, dotted with the gurgling stream in the garden, and the leaves are fluttering with the breeze.The sketches in the corridors are patchwork, quietly embellishing everything in the mountains, rivers and gardens.Chinese pagoda tree, persimmon tree, apricot tree, white wax, golden leaf pagoda tree, mountain peach, crabapple, etc. are lushly distributed, making the park no longer messy.The strange stones on the rockery reflect the shadow of the moon into the creek, forming an impressionist-like romantic picture in the water, which is even more pleasing to the eye against the starry sky.

"Brother Wen, do you think I can recover from this illness?" Xiaoya looked at me with tired big eyes, as if she wanted to find an answer from me.

"It will be fine. Godmother's spirit in the sky will bless us from afar and get well soon. We still have to go to Stanford University to study for an MBA!" When I said this, I didn't have the slightest idea.The doctor once said that severe depression is not so easy to cure.Even if it is good, the possibility of recurrence will be very high.Now that she is seriously ill, more encouragement is needed to give her the confidence to fight against the illness.

"It would be great if my mother was alive! She can see us like this, how much does she want us to be together?" She subconsciously felt the beating of my heart.

"Yes! If the godmother is alive, she will help more people, but it's a pity that good people don't live long! Do you feel better? Do you feel sleepy?" I asked with concern.

"Well, it's much better than in the afternoon, but I can't sleep. I lie in your arms and talk to you. I feel much more comfortable! Brother Wen, your heart beats so fast! Tell me, your heart beats when you see me How do you feel?" She blushed.

In this world, she has only me as a relative.I can feel her feelings for me and understand her heart better.Now is the time when she needs me the most, so I will do everything I can to help her get out of the shadow of depression as soon as possible, and face her future life happily.

I always thought I wasn't good enough for her, she never dated a boy other than me.I didn't know that there are many, many boys who are better than me in the world.

No matter in terms of education, training, temperament, etc., I am quite different from others.I feel inferior in front of her.I especially hope that she can find someone on her level and enjoy a happier life.She expressed her love to me implicitly more than once.That time at the seaside, she hoped that we could be together, and until now she is still expressing to me the pure feelings of a little girl.How can I readily accept it.Now is the most difficult time for her, and the time when she needs love the most. I will use my scarred shoulders to give her the greatest warmth and let her feel a kind of happiness.

I will also grasp the scale and not hurt her, as I promised to my godmother, let her study hard, and after she finishes her studies, she can leave her best and most precious things to her most worthy of love .

Thinking of this, I said happily: "Of course!"