Lord, don't chase me, I want to go back to modern times

Obsession, resentment, delusion, hatred, love.Today, she was finally able to let it all go.

——Giving a generation to a couple is really ecstasy in two places, lovesickness and not dating each other, who is the spring for?
……

It was like a dream but not a dream.

I don't know what time is, things that repeat over and over again every day, maybe time passes quickly, maybe time passes slowly...

Although my life is so peaceful and isolated from the outside world, I still hear about what happened outside.

In the fifth year of the Southern Dynasties, at the beginning of June, the Khitan finally began to provoke and sent troops to the city on the border of the Southern Dynasties, waving flags, beating drums and shouting and demonstrating.

In a rage, the Southern Emperor ordered General Zhao Zhirui to march down.

In the fifth year of the South, in mid-September, the two countries fought for many days.

In the fifth year of the Southern Dynasties, at the beginning of the twelfth lunar month, due to continuous wars between the two countries, wind and smoke rose everywhere, the people were in dire straits, and the fallen leaves scattered in the streets and alleys were extremely desolate.

In the sixth year of the South, at the beginning of the first month, the Southern Emperor abolished the traditional three-year draft ceremony, and handled political affairs conscientiously.

In the sixth year of the South, in the second ten days of April, the war was imminent. The Southern Emperor led hundreds of thousands of troops to conquer, and the morale of the generals increased greatly.

In the sixth year of the South, in mid-August, there were successive battles, resulting in countless casualties.White flags are fluttering, the whole country mourns together, and sorrow and joy are everywhere.

At this time, I stayed in Kongmingtang for one year and three months, and I became a lay disciple of Master Jinghui, so she gave me the name "Jingxin". The nightmare has already been washed away by Master Jinghui in this year, and I no longer have too much nostalgia for this world of mortals.

However, since Xiao Jincheng left that time, he never entered the Kongming Hall again, nor did he come to see Master Jinghui. I know that there are chaotic wars in the court every day, and he is already overwhelmed.

Also, he must be disappointed in me, it seems that he really wants to let me go this time.I am relieved in my heart, because he can see through, so my guilt is not so deep.

On the contrary, Ningxiang and Tianyan often come to Kongmingtang to see me, but I don't see me behind closed doors. If I really want to die in the world of mortals, I don't want to have anything to do with people in the world.Otherwise, how can I calm down and wash away the demons in my heart.

I promised Master Jinghui that when Xiao Jincheng unified the world, I would completely cut off the remaining half of the black hair.

I caressed the hair around my neck, the cold and soft feeling lingered in the palm of my hand. It had been cut off by me a year ago, and after such a long time, some new strands of hair had grown on the tip of the hair.

Master Jinghui would occasionally mention matters about government affairs to me, but at this time, my mood has calmed down a lot. When she mentions worldly things to me again, she no longer has the original impulse and concern. Perhaps this is the Buddha. The true state of home is supercilious.

Although I can't be supercilious when I ask myself now, I have long forgotten the pain of the past. Every time I think about it, it won't hurt my heart, I just smile and see it as a drama in the world.

Everything has been seen through, and everything has been underestimated. There is only one thing that I have not explained to the master. Every night, I can always dream some weird dreams. The dreams are all people in strange clothes. 'stuff' that I've never even seen.

Just treat it as a hopeless dream, I don't think about anything, I don't guess, I treat everything as a dream...

……

Today is National Day of Remembrance, Master Jinghui and I climbed up the Yaolan Mountain together, looking at the desolate scene in Shengjing City, Master Jinghui burst into tears, "The struggle in the world, the people are so innocent."

"Master, you still haven't really realized the so-called seeing through the world of mortals in Buddhism, and your heart is still concerned about the world." I fiddled with the Buddhist beads in my hand and sighed with a faint smile on my face.

The tear stain hung on her slightly vicissitudes face every day, she didn't reach out to wipe the tear stain, but let it spread down, "Jing Xin, will you blame me as a teacher?"

"Why did the master say that?" I was deeply puzzled, and looked at her suspiciously.

"Back when you stepped into the Kongming Hall and called yourself a virtuous concubine, the poor nun planned to persuade you to become a monk. It was the poor nun who was selfish and hoped that you would leave the emperor. Even the poor nun at first glance thought that you were a concubine who would bring disaster to the country and the people. "

Her eyes were full of guilt, she stared at the string of Buddhist beads in her hand, and continued, "Now that I have been with you for such a long period of time, it is only now that I realize that it was indeed a mistake for me to encourage you to escape into Buddhism for the sake of the righteousness of the world." A mistake. You have a deep root of wisdom, but your nature is so kind, as long as my teacher gives you some hints and untie your knots, you can become a good queen, a good queen who supports the emperor with her mother."

Hearing this, I smiled, "Master thinks, if Jingxin really gave up her hatred, would she still be willing to be a queen? No, I never really wanted to be a queen, all I wanted was I want a free life and a clean love. The emperor can't give me such a life, and the emperor can't give me a clean love, so after all, I have to be separated from him and love each other in two places. This is a regretful love , but regret is also a kind of beauty, right?"

"You really look away." She raised her head that had always been lowered, with tears in her eyes, and stared at my unusually calm eyes, "Calm down, the country is in danger of being destroyed, isn't it?" The fall of the Southern Dynasty means the fall of Khitan."

"Master, you must want Nan Chao to win, right?"

"Don't you wish?"

"As a citizen of the Southern Dynasties, I certainly hope that my country can dominate the world. If Xiao Jincheng dominates the world, the people will definitely not be in dire straits. But master can say that the emperor of Khitan is not a good emperor? Remember the Khitan nine years ago , the territory is sparse, and the population is thin. Today's Khitan, since Liancheng Yanping came to power, has annexed many surrounding tribes in just two years, unified the Khitan tribes, and can even rival the current Southern Dynasty in terms of strength. You say, if The emperor of Khitan is not a good emperor, how could he lead that country to an unprecedented prosperity? How dare you say that Liancheng and Yanping will be worse than Xiao Jincheng in unifying the world?"

Master Jinghui's eyes locked on me deeply, as if he wanted to see through me, the unpredictable changes in his eyes were puzzling.

It took a long time before she looked away, "You can see clearly better than a teacher."

She let out a long sigh, walked forward a few feet, and stared deeply at the desolate street. There were no children playing and hawkers hawking. This is the pain that war has brought to the people of the world.

"Perhaps it's because I don't understand Khitan's Khan at all as a teacher. As you said in Jingxin, maybe he will do better than our emperor, but the poor nun has long believed in his heart that unifying the world can bring happiness to the people. Yes, only the current emperor Xiao Jincheng." The affirmation in her mouth and the firmness in her eyes deeply moved me, I know that Master Jinghui has always loved Xiao Jincheng very much, and even loved him as his own child.

Xiao Jincheng is hateful, but he is also lonely. He has almost no happiness in half his life. His long-cherished wish is to unify the world and make up for his regret of usurping the throne and killing his mother and brother.He had to use his own actions to tell his father and the subjects of the world that he had done a good job as the emperor, and that even if he passed away a hundred years later, he would still have the face to meet his relatives under the nine springs.

As for Liancheng Yanping, he has the talent of an emperor and the mind of a general, but he was born of hatred.

He wanted to unify the world to avenge Yeluhuan, to bring down the Southern Dynasty, and to kill me and Xiao Jincheng.For this alone, his mind is not as broad as Xiao Jincheng's. He only cares for hatred, but now Xiao Jincheng only cares for the world.

The rain all over the sky washed the originally dry ground, and the thick dust smell filled my nose. I reached out to catch a few drops of raindrops, and the cool feeling lingered in my palm.

In the wind and rain, there was a figure slowly approaching in the distance, I stared and recognized the person in the rain, it was Zhao Ziyan.She actually held a boy in her arms, about one or two years old, with delicate features and vivid eyes floating around.

I was very surprised, did she come to me specially?Now that I am a person who does not care about the secular world, if she seeks me, what purpose will she have?

I walked along her side and looked at the child in her hand. I had never heard Tianyan mention that he and Zhao Ziyan had such a big child.

However, why did she suddenly come here today?I thought, what happened?

After Zhao Ziyan handed over the child in her arms to the nanny behind her, she turned around and looked at me with a smile that a lady should have, but there was a trace of worry and contradiction hidden in the deepest part of her eyes.

I bowed respectfully, "I don't know if the Prime Minister's wife is here, what can I tell you?"

"I want to talk to you about the disputes in the world today." Zhao Ziyan didn't let the nanny leave, but instead stroked the child's forehead naturally, her eyes were full of doting, but she didn't look directly at me, as if she was avoiding something.

"Now Jingxin has returned to a Buddhist family, and the affairs of the world have nothing to do with me." I lowered my head and chuckled, and didn't ask any more questions about her sudden words.

"Is it that we don't ask about the world's affairs?" Zhao Ziyan stepped into the Buddhist hall, looking around, "The love and predestination in this world is not something you can just let go of."

Hearing that there was something in her words, I no longer went around beating around the bush with her, "Ma'am, please speak directly if you have something to say."

She lightly waved to her wet nurse who had been following her all the time, "Take Yifan to the hall to find Master Jinghui for enlightenment. I have something to say to this sister."

"Yes, ma'am." The nurse replied respectfully, and then left with the child in her arms.

It is not difficult to see that Zhao Ziyan loves this child very much, and her eyes followed the nanny's figure until she disappeared...

Looking at Zhao Ziyan like this, I still feel a little uncomfortable, after all, I am still involved with her to this day.

As if Zhao Ziyan didn't notice my gaze, she gradually withdrew her gaze, "Concubine Xian..."

Her "Xianfei" suddenly hit my heart, and the past for many years seemed to be lingering in my mind, which made me even more frightened.

From what I know about her, if it's not a big deal, she would never come to see me in person, not to mention the grievances between me and her, even if it's Tianyan's relationship, she wouldn't want to deal with me.

She must have something very important to tell me today, and she can only tell me.