Lord, don't chase me, I want to go back to modern times

I shivered and looked at the bright and gray sky in a daze. I looked sideways at the clear lines on Xiao Jincheng's face again.

He slept very peacefully, with a gentle smile on his face. I have slept with him for so long, and I have never seen him sleep with such a peaceful smile.

I couldn't help stretching out my fingertips and gently stroking his face. When he moved, I pulled back immediately, for fear of waking him up.

Soon he fell asleep comfortably again, looking at his appearance, a sweet smile appeared on my face.I really look forward to seeing him as a peaceful and unmasked joker every day, but I know it's impossible, there are too many obstacles between us.Even if there will be regrets in my heart, it will be an eternal concern, which is not a bad thing for me and him.

Thinking of this, I quietly got out of bed and put on my shoes, walked lightly to the bamboo door and pulled it open, even though I used very little effort, there was still a soft sound.

I looked back and saw that Xiao Jincheng was still lying quietly on the bed, sleeping very soundly. I stared at him deeply and said in a low voice, "Jincheng, you must be a good emperor." After that, I did not hesitate He turned around and left the house. It was raining outside, and the sky was extremely dark.

In just a few seconds, my face and hair were filled with fluttering raindrops, but I never stopped walking. I walked through the grass full of morning dew, and was swept across my cheeks by the wild grasses on the edge. pain.

Don't go back, don't go back, don't go back...

I arrived at the shore alone, picked up the oars and set off on the boat. The lake was covered with cold, and the mist rose, which dazzled my eyes.

I gradually moved into the center of the lake in a small boat, and with the breeze, I looked back at the bamboo house that belonged to me and Xiao Jincheng on the distant shore.

From now on, for those two plum plants, I can only trouble you to visit them every year, An Huaixin can no longer accompany you.

You are a good emperor. Regardless of whether you can unify the world in the end, you are still a good emperor in my eyes. You must help the world and stop being controlled by demons.Even if I am different from you, please cherish it, cherish it.

Let go of the world and look down on the world.Yes, to get rid of the hatred and confusion in my heart, I must get rid of the world and look down on the world.

"Xin'er! Don't go!"

A voice drifting with the wind pulled my thoughts back, I looked in amazement at Xiao Jincheng who was anxiously calling for me on the bank of the lake, and felt a dull pain in my heart.

Why does he have to chase it out? He has his own responsibilities, and he can no longer care about his children's private affairs.And I don't want to hinder his footsteps, he should go his own way.

You used to be so cruel to me, so this time, please be cruel again.

I couldn't see his expression clearly, but his slender figure made me inexplicably painful. I tried my best to wave to him and bid him farewell.Although I knew that he couldn't see my expression clearly at this time, I always kept a smile on my face and didn't want to show more sadness.

As the boat drifted farther and farther away, he on the shore gradually became blurred in my sight, I slowly turned around, and rowed the boat harder towards the opposite shore.

And the sound of "heart" behind me wet my face with the cool wind and cold rain. I couldn't tell whether it was tears or rain on my face.

……

Xin'er and I hugged tightly on the bamboo bed. Although I closed my eyes, I stayed up all night, and Xin'er beside me also stayed up all night.I thought a lot about what happened before.I personally pulled the mother and son who once harmed my mother and concubine from that lofty position. Their shocked and painful eyes definitely did not make me happy!

Yes, joy, this kind of joy is bloody, bit by bit it invades my heart and lungs, and blends into my blood...

I poisoned and killed the only younger brother who was much younger than me in front of the Queen Mother. Seeing his terrified screams and begging for mercy, I was indifferent, and finally watched him fall in front of me bleeding from all seven orifices...then That woman is crazy!
Who knows if it's crazy or not!I imprisoned her and made her life worse than death.Then what did I do?Oh, by the way, in order to consolidate the throne, I pushed out Chunrui, who loved me dearly.Even to protect the woman I love is to lower the vigilance of the Xia family, and then send Aqi to kill that woman to set the blame on her. I will make full use of her until she dies.Then I started to use my heart to get rid of Xia's family... I have done so many cruel things, is this really what I want?
Xin'er, can you really forgive the wrong things I did to you?Can you really let go of that child being killed by me?

Suddenly I felt a pair of cold and slightly trembling hands caressing my brows, I was choked for breath, but calmed down soon.

Suddenly, I felt that she withdrew her hand immediately, and the silence around me made me panic. It was the first time that such silence made me feel... as if I was going to lose her.

For a long time, I only heard her sigh softly, so detailed that I wondered if she had ever sighed.

She quietly climbed out of the bed and opened the bamboo door, but I never opened my eyes. I don't know if I should keep her. If leaving me is her choice, so that she can be happy...then I will let you go Walk.

But why is my heart so painful?
"Jincheng, you must be a good emperor."

She said a word in a low voice, I suddenly opened my eyes, sat up from the bed, looked at the open bamboo door, my mind was blank.

Is she leaving?She really wants to leave...she wants me to be a good emperor...but she doesn't know that I also want to be a good husband, and I want to make up for the pain I caused her.If possible, I would rather not have this throne and just be an ordinary person. If I had known that I would have to sacrifice so much to snatch this throne, I would definitely not choose to take this throne.

She has always wanted to be free. From the first time I saw her, I knew that she didn't belong to the palace, maybe she didn't belong to this world. Since when did I feel that she didn't belong to this time and space?Maybe it's her novel idea, maybe it's her uniqueness, Prime Minister An will never give birth to such a special daughter!Maybe my thoughts are very strange, but I have always kept it in my heart...

She should do what she wants to do. I forced her into this bloody power struggle, and turned her originally kind and tough into so mundane.

I should let her go, I should let her go, but... I can't bear it, I really can't bear it.

Can't go!

When I thought of this, I hurriedly chased him out without wearing any shoes on my face.

There is only one thought in my mind, if I let her go this time, I will regret it for the rest of my life.

When I chased to the shore, I saw that Xin'er had gradually moved away from me by boat, and the cool wind was blowing against me.

I know that Xin'er is going to the Kongming Hall. Master Jinghui told me that the only way to free her now is to end the fate.

I don't want to let go, let alone let go!

"Xin'er, don't go!" I shouted towards the middle of the lake, she looked at me, didn't speak, just waved to me.

I couldn't see her expression clearly, it seemed... she was smiling at me.

After a long time, she turned around, leaving me with a sad figure, and gradually moved towards the shore.I kept calling her name, but she didn't look back, and resolutely set foot on the other side.

Can't go, can't go!I jumped into the lake and swam to the other side of the lake. The cool lake water and the drizzle soaked my eyes.

In the past 29 years, I have never been so panicked. Only now do I know that Xiner is so important in my heart, even surpassing the throne I worked so hard for.

It took me a while to swim to the other side, and with my tired and wet body, I ran towards Kongmingtang without stopping for a moment.

At this time, the rain was getting heavier and heavier, and I stepped on the bumpy and muddy path barefoot and went straight.

However, when I arrived, the door of the Kongming Hall was tightly closed. I slammed on the thick and rich door, and shouted out of breath, "Xin'er, come out, I have something to say to you!" !"

I don't know how long I've been patting, but no one inside responded. I weakly leaned my forehead on the rich door, clenched my fists with both hands, and deeply calmed down the excitement in my heart, "Xin'er, I beg you, I beg you!" You... Please come out and meet me, I have something to tell you..."

The heavy rain kept patting on me, and the raindrops dripped down from my forehead. I didn't know if I was crying, but my eyes were sore and painful.

"squeak"

The door was slowly opened, I raised my head happily, but what I saw was not Xin'er, but Master Jinghui.

She held her hands—and bowed her long black hair to me, and I stared at her angrily, "An Huaixin is my virtuous concubine, the queen I just conferred, you have no right to let her hair fall, you Who has the right to let her hair fall!"

This is the first time I have been so disrespectful to her.

"Your Majesty, the poor nun didn't let Madam's hair fall. Madam cut off the half of the hair and asked me to give it to you. She said, cut the hair, cut the hair!"

Tremblingly, I took the half of the love thread in her hand, and my eyes lingered upwards, passing Master Jinghui again, and looked towards the inner hall behind her.

Xiner knelt in front of Maitreya Buddha with her palms facing away from me. Her originally beautiful black hair had been cut in half, but her heart was so determined!
"Xin'er..." I called out hoarsely, but she didn't turn her head back, and kowtowed heavily towards Maitreya Buddha steadily, "Please come back, Your Majesty, the poor nun has already lost her hair, and the relationship with the Emperor has been cut off, please don't do it again." Entanglement." Her voice was very steady, without ups and downs, as if she was really determined to escape into Buddhism.

I stared deeply at her back, "Can you really let go? My relationship with you...?"

"can."

She didn't hesitate, and her certain words made me suffocate, as if I couldn't breathe steadily.

"I know you want to live an ordinary life!" I paused, and made a big decision in my heart, "As long as you tell me now, I will drop everything and go away with you."

Not only An Huaixin's body froze suddenly, but even Master Jinghui looked at me with unbelievable eyes, and immediately knelt down, "Your Majesty! You can't be impulsive!"

An Huaixin's body relaxed, and she said with a smile, "Your Majesty, you know that I will never ask you to let go of everything. You say that now, aren't you embarrassing me?"

"I mean it."

"No, you are impulsive! You can't let go of the throne, because you are an emperor who benefits the world. It's not something you would do to give up the country for a woman. You just want to keep me here and do everything you can You can keep me. If I really nodded and agreed, you will regret it. You do not belong to the ordinary, you belong to the world. So, please leave, the emperor. What an emperor should really do is to take it up and put it down. My haircut today is to end everything, hatred, love, and it has nothing to do with me in the future!"

I listened to her every word in a daze, with unspeakable bitterness in my heart, maybe... what she said was true.Now I am still in the throne and love, hesitating, maybe it is really impossible for me to give up the throne!

If I were just an ordinary prince at this moment, I would definitely give up the throne without hesitation, but at this moment, I am the emperor, and only I know my helplessness and bitterness.I have a responsibility to the world, and I have a responsibility to the people.If I leave, who will take over in this world, I don't even have a single person who can take over!

"Have you ever heard the phrase 'the only way to be ordinary at that time'? Please put it down now, and think about it again after many years, but it will only be a very ordinary thing."

An Huaixin still turned her back to me, and said in that clear voice.

I took a few steps back weakly, stepped into the cold muddy water, and sneered, "Okay, okay, I will let you go, I will let you go..."

I repeated this sentence, turned around abruptly, plunged into the boundless heavy rain, and left Kongmingtang.

An Huaixin, who always faced the Maitreya Buddha with his eyes closed and indifferent, still knelt in front of the Buddha as usual, his folded palms trembled slightly, and a tear dripped from the corner of his eye.

Obsession, resentment, delusion, hatred, and love for today, she will be able to put them all down in the end.

——Giving a generation to a couple is really ecstasy in two places, lovesickness and not dating each other, who is the spring for?