Chapter 53
When I asked Yan Yu whether he could use the psychology and behavioral studies he had learned to change Gu Yanzhi's memories from the period after my college entrance examination, he was silent for a moment, then said coldly: "Why do you have to use This way? Just tell Gu Yanzhi that you have changed your mind, isn't that okay?"
"I don't think he will believe it if you tell him so bluntly." I looked at him, "I don't have that much time to make him believe it. I can only ask you for help."
"Your idea is really absurd, Du Wan." Yan Yu answered me slowly, "It is undeniable that there are indeed scientists abroad who are studying these things, and they have indeed successfully deleted the designated memory with electroshock therapy, but these are just In the experimental stage, if it has not been popularized to the clinical aspect, no matter how powerful I am, I will not be able to help you this step. Even if I can help you this step, how can Gu Yanzhi cooperate with me in this kind of experiment?"
I looked at him: "You are prevaricating. You clearly know that this is not what I am asking now."
He was silent for a while, and this time he pushed his glasses, his tone was colder than before: "You are right, I do understand mind control. But let me tell you the truth, mind control is completely different from simple amnesia. I I doubt you understand the difference between the two."
I said, "I understand."
He looked me up and down for a moment, looked at me suspiciously, and then said: "If Gu Yanzhi has amnesia now, I can make up a story and tell him that you have a change of heart. I guarantee that he can believe it. But now his sanity Clearer than anyone else. The so-called mind control technique cannot change people's inherent memory."
I said: "I know. I really understand, don't worry. Besides, if Gu Yanzhi is now amnesiac, I can tell him that I have changed my mind. There is no use for you, right? ?”
Yan Yu said: "..."
Yan Yu stared at me sternly.A cool light suddenly appeared on the lens.
"It is true that mind control cannot change a person's inherent memory. But it can start from a person's weakest point, change a person's world outlook and values quietly, and then affect a person's suspicion and perception of his own experience and surrounding things. Change." I looked up, "It's a type of behavioral control science. Your master's thesis special research is about this. Am I wrong?"
Yan Yu narrowed his eyes slightly, looking up and down through the lens.After a while, he spoke slowly: "It seems that your idea is not a whim. When did you check this information?"
I answered truthfully: "Last night."
When Yan Yu decided to conduct a second review, I no longer had any good hopes.I have been tossing and turning since the day before yesterday, until today when the diagnosis came out.All I can think about is what the future holds.If I must die any time soon, I hope I can go quietly.I wanted to find a nice aftermath that would make everyone less sad.For this reason, I was so busy that I didn't even have time to shed tears in these two days.When I suddenly thought of this idea last night, I jumped out of bed and spent the whole night searching for information.
Yan Yu looked at me deeply.Not long after, I calmly said: "You are right, I will indeed. In fact, this is not too difficult, many people will. But Du Wan, I am not one of those many people, I am a doctor. Even if I I don’t really like the hospital, and I’m still a doctor. It’s different from those pyramid schemers in the society who walk around in a mess. Mind control, another name, is brainwashing. This is an immoral field, even if I know it, I would Don’t give it to others easily.”
I was already mentally prepared that he might refuse.He didn't move after hearing this, but looked at him more and more pleadingly.Yan Yu was silent for a while, then continued: "In addition, psycho-control techniques are not available to everyone. The pyramid schemers use this method to select people who are not deeply involved in the world and have little experience. Many are students, or Old man. Gu Yanzhi's mind is hard, even if I try to manipulate him, it will basically fail."
I continued to look at him pleadingly, saying each word clearly: "Please help me."
He didn't answer for a long time, pinching his cuffs.Behind him are peach blossom petals.The late spring sun is warm.And his expression was cold, as if he was merciless.
I can imagine his concerns, and understandable.After all, even if it succeeds, such prohibited things cannot be publicized.On the contrary, if he fails, if he is exposed again, his medical ethics and reputation will be questioned.A doctor's license may be at risk of being revoked.In addition, he and Gu Yanzhi are friends who grew up together, and the relationship between him and Gu Yanzhi far surpasses the intersection between me and him.Besides, Yan Yu himself is not a warm-hearted person.
I was just making a request, and I didn't dare to hold out too much hope.Standing there for a long time, without getting a reply from him, I feel that I am gradually giving up.Desperately thinking about whether to cry or not, after all, I still feel very uncomfortable in my heart, and suddenly I heard him say lightly: "I can promise you."
I raised my head subconsciously, and Yan Yu looked at me condescendingly: "I know what you think, it won't do you any harm anyway. If it doesn't work out, you're just letting Gu Yanzhi know that you have bone cancer. The consequences of control are the same. You have nothing to lose. But if it succeeds, I hope you have prepared yourself for the consequences."
"……what?"
He said lightly, "Gu Yanzhi won't know the day you passed away. After you pass away, he won't go to your graveyard either. Those memories of your past belong to you only from now on. Gu Yanzhi will probably marry another She. If you're sure you can handle all of this, then I can try to help you."
Every word he said was heartbreaking.
After a while, I finally said oh.Intellectually, my next step is to say a little indifferently that it doesn't matter.However, it turns out that these six words are inexplicably heavy at this moment.I opened my mouth for a long time, but still couldn't speak.All I could do was answer in a low voice: "Yes."
I suddenly remembered a sentence that Ye Xunxun said one day after I was in college.At that time, everything seemed to have settled down: Li Xiangnan won the first prize in the science college entrance examination in T City, but gave up the A University that everyone envied, and stayed in T City to study in university; Ye Xunxun and Yan Yu reunited for the second time, and soon After that, we broke up for the third time. Not long after, she went to T University like me, and Yan Yu came to City A alone.All the people around me are single, but Gu Yanzhi and I are always in pairs.Finally, on my 20th birthday, Ye Xunxun was so stimulated that he couldn't stand it. He looked at me with resentful eyes and said quietly, Du Wan, God will be jealous of you being so happy.
Ye Xunxun accidentally made a prophecy again.
Now that I think about it, my feelings over the past four years can be summed up in three words, which is perfect.Bringing out every single thing is enough to make Ye Xunxun, who has been in a bad mood for a long time, break up with me.I still remember the time I sneaked away to City A by myself, and when I woke up the next day, I felt clean and fresh under the sheets.And Gu Yanzhi was lying on his side in a dark blue nightgown, and we were so close together that I could see his collarbone and the skin below his neck, which were loosely covered by the nightgown.His other hand was on my back, curling a little bit of my hair, and there was a smile on the corner of his mouth.Then he came over slowly, a little kiss on my forehead.
The ginkgo tree that Gu Yanzhi planted in front of the courtyard ten years ago has grown into a graceful shape now; when I was 19 years old, Gu’s house was renovated in preparation for a wedding, and Gu Yanzhi’s bedroom was made of light coloring according to my wish The decoration is light; when my 20th birthday was approaching, the media in T city rushed to report on a piece of land in the city center that had been vacant for half a year. After a month of construction, there were no cranes, bricks and tiles, but a two-story building was built. High glass greenhouse.
It's just inexplicably that there is no relevant news to find the source to Gu Yanzhi.I once felt strange, and asked Gu Yanzhi the reason, but Gu Yanzhi only lightly told me that the news personnel were not doing their job well.Until one day Jiang Yannan came to the door and kicked the door of Gu Yanzhi's office open, ignoring the secretary behind him who quickly covered his eyes, and me who was quickly pressed into his arms by Gu Yanzhi and wrapped in a windbreaker, he was so angry that his tone even echoed: " Gu Yanzhi, you are so sorry! So sorry! That piece of land in the city center is my land! My land! When you bought it from me, didn’t you say you were going to build an amusement park! Where did the agreed dividends go now! Where did it go? You pay me for my money! You pay me! What’s the point of building a broken glass house? , What is the picture of your broken glass house! Ah!"
Gu Yanzhi waited for him to finish yelling in one breath, said ah, and said calmly: "Because someone likes it, plus I am happy."
Jiang Yannan said: "..."
I said:"……"
I found a gap in the clothes that Gu Yanzhi was covering me tightly, and saw Jiang Yannan pointing at Gu Yanzhi tremblingly, his mouth was trembling with anger for a long time, and then suddenly he poked his finger far away on me.
Jiang Yannan yelled loudly, "You're stupid!"
My back trembled, and the gap was suddenly closed.I felt Hunjun's hand caressing my back, slowly caressing and comforting me, and then casually said: "Wanwan, look, divorced men are so scary."
Jiang Yannan said: "..."
I said:"……"
I also remember that on the second day of my 20th birthday, I went to the Civil Affairs Bureau with Gu Yanzhi.The sun was light and warm that day, we were sitting in the registration room, and there were roses in full bloom outside the window.The staff across a table looked at me for a while, then looked at Gu Yanzhi, and finally their eyes remained on me, and he said to me with some hesitation: "Little girl, are you an adult? This is a big marriage, not a joke. You, a minor, don't come here to mess around, okay?"
I said seriously, "I'm not fooling around." While handing over the account page with both hands, I sat upright and added, "Look for yourself, I'm already 20 years old, okay?"
He looked up at me distrustfully.Finally, take over the account page.While asking: "What's your name? What's your name?"
I let out an ah, and said seriously: "Gu Dushi."
Gu Yanzhi, who was always smiling and silent at the side, finally choked softly.He stretched out his hand, stroked the top of my hair, then put my shoulders together, and said with a smile, "Du Wan, Gu Yanzhi."
We have so many wonderful things and so many wonderful conversations.It's so good that just thinking about it a little bit is enough to stop it like an addiction.
Ye Xunxun once divided men into four classes regarding the ownership of time and money. Men in the lowest class will not spend any of their energy and money on you. The so-called marriage and childbirth is just an instinctive physiological reaction after adulthood That's all, so it's better not to have such a husband; a slightly higher man is willing to spend a small part of his spare energy and spare money on you, the so-called perfunctory marriage is greater than love; Most of the money is spent on you, this kind of marriage is serious and sweet; of course, the best man is willing to spend all his spare energy and money on you, trying his best to please you.However, such a man is rare in this world.
In the end, Ye Xunxun took a look at me and added: "Look, since Gu Yanzhi is willing to spend a lot of energy and money on you, it means that Gu Yanzhi is the second-class man in the middle. That's why you are so sweet."
I looked down at the back of my hand, and when I raised my head again, I tried my best to restrain the urge to turn my mouth upwards: "But, on my 20th birthday, Gu Yanzhi took all the real estate and cash savings under his name and held them in his hands. Half of all the equity in the agreement has been transferred to my name. And there is such a sentence in the transfer agreement, in the event of divorce, all the property in this agreement will belong to Du Wan alone. He said that this is also a prenuptial agreement, which has legal effective."
"..." Ye Xunxun stared at me, as if his throat was being choked, he opened his mouth and lost his voice for a while before recovering his voice, "Why did Gu Yanzhi do this?"
I said a word, looked out the window, and said nonchalantly, "It's nothing. He just said nine words at that time, just to increase my sense of security."
Ye Xunxun looked at me quietly for a while, then said darkly: "I hate people who show affection the most."
If I hadn't come to city A for a follow-up visit three days ago, if I'm still in city T now, then in this warm late spring, according to the original itinerary, I should have gone to the bridal shop with Gu Yanzhi to try on it Finished the wedding dress.
The wedding dresses are selected three and a half months in advance and handmade in Milan takes three months.I know exactly what that wedding dress looked like.White silk gloves, a hazy veil that stretches to the floor, a slim and graceful mermaid skirt, and a stretchy lily hollow pattern embroidered all over the body with meticulous stitches.All are so beautiful that people are obsessed.
At the bridal shop that day, Gu Yanzhi took the wedding dress album handed over by the clerk and flipped through it page by page.He always flipped through it casually, pressing his fingers on the insert, slender and smooth, slightly curved, and his brows and eyes were flat, with a casual appearance.It seems that no wedding dress that has been exhausted by the designer can catch his eyes.Obviously, I already feel that any one is good-looking enough.It wasn't until he threw away the photo album and flipped through another one, and the first article at the beginning was the appearance of this wedding dress, that Gu Yanzhi's fingers stopped, and he sat up straight, turned his eyes, and looked at me with a smile: "Wanwan , does this look good?"
From childhood to adulthood, every piece of clothing and every piece of jewelry he chose for me was so quiet and precious.
He once told me that every age of a girl has her best look.Everything has a sequence, one step earlier is too young, and one step later is artificial, so there is no need to rush.When he taught me the truth, he always spoke eloquently, with a low voice that made it impossible to refute.He once told me that I can have a lot of time to do whatever I want. At that time, I asked him what is called anything. He held a magazine in his hand, raised his eyes, and asked me: " For example, what do you want to do most now?"
I looked at him seriously and said, "I want to marry you the most."
As soon as the whole body was light, he had already fished him over, and he heard him laughing and saying: "Aren't you married to me already?"
I groaned, looked down at my fingers, and said casually: "I just feel that although we have registered, we haven't held a wedding yet, so I feel that something is always missing. Besides, you don't have any Seriously proposed to me, so I feel that something is missing. So now I feel like I didn't marry you at all. "
"..."
In this June, I will graduate from university.This early September, I was supposed to hold a wedding with Gu Yanzhi.The hotel has already been booked, and the invitations have been made. I just need to wait for me to go back to T City and sign each invitation with Gu Yanzhi.There is also my profile picture drawn by Gu Yanzhi himself on the invitation, which is exactly the so-called "fun ball" he drew on the phone when he was on a business trip to City A four years ago.
The wedding has been in the works for a long time, and everyone who should know and who shouldn't already knows.I seriously participated in every process of wedding preparations, and I was full of joy for a while.
I racked my brains to please a person, trying my best to make him like me.After working hard for so long, I finally got a good score.I never thought that one day I might divorce Gu Yanzhi.May be hated by him.Abandoned by him in the past.Be like a passerby with him.
Since last night, every time I think of this, my heart is pierced.
I went back to the hotel alone.When I received a call from Yan Yu during dinner, I said unhurriedly: "I suddenly remembered, why did you tell Gu Yanzhi that you would not return until three days later? Why didn't you leave tonight? You only have four months left Three days is one fortieth of your life. Instead of staying here doing nothing, you might as well go back to T city as soon as possible and get along with Gu Yanzhi for a few more days. When I prepare the materials and go back to T city to help you, then you will be fine Time to say goodbye."
I sat on the carpet, hugged my knees, looked at the ring on my ring finger in silence for a while, and said, "Doctor Yan, do you have an emotional intelligence?"
"what?"
"Do you think that a patient who just found out that she has a terminal illness may immediately turn on the joyful mode, hiding all the truth from her favorite person, as if nothing happened? You think I am an alien Huh? Do you think that everyone can go to the wedding in a calm suit and leather shoes just like you when your first love girlfriend gets married, talking and laughing at the wedding, and generously and tolerantly writing a red envelope of [-] cash at the end? Do you always think that you are the only one? Are you a normal person? Your logic has always been abnormal. In fact, you have no emotional intelligence at all, Doctor Yan Yu, do you know that?"
I finished speaking in one breath, and Yan Yu choked for a while.However, when he spoke again, he had already returned to the level of Yan who was so calm and rational that it was unacceptable for heaven: "Since you are so reluctant, then stop thinking about it. After all, the probability of success of that thing is very small, and it will cost me a lot of money." Mind power. You might as well run back and tell Gu Yanzhi right now that you are suffering from advanced bone cancer and you have four months to live. Even Yan Yu, the most skilled doctor in the country, can't help you. I believe he will feel twice as distressed on the spot Take care of you."
I was silenced by what he said.
How could I not have thought of doing this.No one in this world is willing to bear more pain.I wish I could run back to T City right now, throw myself into Gu Yanzhi's arms and cry loudly.Tell him the reason for the recent occasional bone pain and Yan Yu's final diagnosis.I can't wait to be comforted by him in his arms immediately.Just like every difficulty experienced in the past, the solution is to tell Gu Yanzhi immediately, and throw all the seemingly impossible problems to him.
I have not experienced the current situation.Living alone in the hotel, there is no sound around.And I just learned that I was terminally ill and finally diagnosed in the morning.
I'm actually terrified right now.
How I wish Gu Yanzhi could carelessly arrange everything this time like every time in the past.However, he is not a god after all.
He is calm and calm, unmoved.His understated words were regarded as the bible by the industry, and his small actions attracted the media to flock to him. He once brought a child back to T City from the mountains 11 years ago, and her life has been turned upside down ever since.
He can do it all.But he can't help but die.
If this happened 30 years later, I would definitely tell Gu Yanzhi without hesitation.If this happened ten years ago, I would have told Gu Yanzhi without hesitation.But now, after all my ups and downs, I've come to the conclusion that I can't do it after all.
On my birthday a year ago, Gu Yanzhi took me to the temple to finalize the wedding date for this year.It was almost dusk when we drove down the mountain, and a pale golden light diffused over the lathe, caressing his light-colored shirt and good-looking eyebrows and eyes.I rested my chin and watched him roll up his cuffs and concentrate on driving. Taking advantage of that day being my birthday, I asked him many difficult things in one breath.
Obviously I knew that I was making trouble for no reason, but he still answered every question patiently and well.And the last question I asked at the time was: "If I die before you, will you fall in love with someone else?"
I thought he would say "no", but he was just noncommittal.
And asked me back: "Wanwan, the four words of birth, old age, sickness and death, everyone will always encounter the last word. When it is our turn, do you hope that you will live longer than me, or is it the other way around?"
"..."
Before that, I didn't think about such a problem.I thought that life and death were far away from me.The so-called hypothesis is nothing more than a casual talk.However, when Gu Yanzhi asked back like this, I realized that I didn't know how to answer at all.I finally realized how cruel the hypothesis I just raised was to Gu Yanzhi.Suddenly I heard Gu Yanzhi continue to speak softly: "I hope that no matter what, I can live a little longer than you, it only takes a few days. After I finish the funeral, I will go to accompany you."
My heart was shocked, and I looked up suddenly.
Under the clouds and clouds, he kept his brows and eyes calm all the time, as if he was talking about the most normal thing.I have a faint suspicion that he has considered this issue for a long time.After a while, I whispered: "But, if, if I passed away very early, maybe I would be 30 years old. Do you want to do the same?"
He turned his head slightly to look at me.There is a little tenderness in the eyes.The voice slowly returned: "Wanwan, I must at least let you know that since you are married to me, I cannot let you suffer."
Gu Yanzhi was not someone who would say such words easily.
He always takes commitment seriously.Adjectives like frivolous and loose have never been associated with him.I read comments about him in magazines before, pointing out that people in the industry can always feel at ease when they cooperate with him.In his 30 years, he was calm and calm, and he never made such a joke.No matter how simple the words are, it will definitely be done.
Six years ago, when Gu Yanzhi's father passed away due to illness, I was concentrating on avoiding Gu Yanzhi and participating in the summer training camp. It took me a long time to learn about the news.And then carefully observe the expression of Gu Yanzhi who came to give me the parents' meeting, he has already become calm.However, I can remember that three years ago, when Gu Yanzhi's mother died because of mourning for her husband's depression, Gu Yanzhi went abroad to take care of the affairs and came back, his expression was calm and he didn't say a word for many days.I'm not very good at comforting people, and seeing him like this makes me even more worried that I might say something wrong.Some people say that people cannot be brought back to life after death, and mourning and resignation, but these kinds of things are actually the same as saying nothing.It is precisely because people cannot be resurrected after death that people mourn endlessly and it is difficult to change.Gu Yanzhi's mother had been depressed for three years, and she couldn't get over the influence of her husband's death.I think if someone said something like that to me, [-]% of the time, I would slam him and leave immediately.I thought about it for a long time and didn't know how to comfort him, but at the same time, I was worried that Gu Yanzhi would also become ill from worry. He has always been a dutiful son, but now he has both parents.I hesitated for a day or two, and finally grabbed a peach and walked up to him, and said to him, "Well, do you really not need me to comfort you?"
I was mentally prepared in advance, thinking that if he still told me that there was no need like two days ago, I would hand him the peach with an oh, say something that the housekeeper told me to give it to you, then turn around and leave.However, this time Gu Yanzhi raised his eyes to look at me, and smiled slightly.Then he held out his hand to me: "Come on."
I took a step forward and was hugged by him tightly.The top of the hair felt like it was hitting his chin.The delicate texture of his gray cashmere sweater is in front of his eyes.The ankle was also quickly taken into his arms.His fingers hooked the soles of my feet twice, I sighed, he laughed twice, and the whole person was pulled into his arms by him.This posture is vaguely familiar. I thought about it for a while, and felt that it was very similar to the appearance of a baby curled up in the belly when it was not born.The thought made people's cheeks a little hot, and then he heard his voice above his head: "So how do you want to comfort me?"
I gathered myself together, and said the words I had been preparing for a long time: "Ah, think about it, if Auntie and Uncle were alive in heaven, they wouldn't want you to worry all the time, would they?"
He hummed: "Is there any more?"
"Also, don't bury all your sad words in your heart. It's not good for your health. Say what you want to say."
He hummed again, this time with a slight smile: "Is there any more?"
"Also, you still have the company. You still have the pile of affairs you have to deal with. Then, if you want," I said nonchalantly, "you will always have me in the future."
He chuckled.There is a muffled vibration in the chest cavity.I finally realized that he didn't listen at all, he was just playing tricks on me.All of a sudden, he became angry from embarrassment, and immediately wanted to jump off his knees, but he was caught in his arms tightly by his eyesight and hands, and his arms were firm, unable to struggle.I said, "You let go let go let go!"
The hair around the ears is kissed densely.Gu Yanzhi smiled and called my name.The room gradually became silent, and the muffled sound of raindrops hitting the glass was heard outside the window.He said lightly: "There is nothing else. I only have you left."
I'm completely quiet.After a while, he whispered, "Me too."
……
I have been thinking about so many things in a mess.It was already dawn when I looked up.Yan Yu told me on the phone the night before that I should eat three healthy meals on time, otherwise I would die faster.He spoke so bluntly, I was speechless for a while, and said: "Dr. Yan, you keep talking like this, some patients can be scared to death by you, do you know?"
Yan Yu replied flatly: "But scaring people to death doesn't pay for their lives. It's nothing to do with me."
"..."
I went downstairs to the restaurant, and when I looked up, I saw Yan Yu sitting at the nearest table with a pile of plates, plates, cups and chopsticks in front of him, beckoning to me indifferently.I was stunned for a moment and walked over: "Why are you here?"
He said: "I found out with my conscience this morning that you seem to be worthy of sympathy. I will come here to pity you."
"Thank you. I don't need it. But I have a question to ask you." I hesitated and said, "What is the most important sentence you promised Ye Xunxun before?"
Yan Yu's hand holding the pancake stopped, and raised her cool eyelids: "Du Wan, you've become more courageous."
"When a person is about to die, his words become bolder and his courage grows." I said modestly, "So, have you fulfilled what you promised?"
Yan Yu's eyebrows began to turn blue, and there were faint signs of an attack: "You don't care about me!"
I said aloud: "Then what you mean is that you did it. What did you do? Did you keep yourself as clean as jade? Or did you not marry for life except Ye Xunxun?"
Yan Yu dropped the napkin and finally got furious: "You don't care what I did! It's none of your business what I do! I have nothing to do with Ye Xunxun! Du Wan, finish eating and leave quickly ! Hurry up and go!"
"Since you have done this," I continued in a low voice as if I didn't hear it, "then, Gu Yanzhi also promised me before that if I die, no matter what time it is, he will arrange my funeral first. Then go with me. In this case, he said solemnly at the time. Then do you think he will really do it?"
I stared at Yan Yu, hoping that he would say no to this.
Ye Xunxun once admitted reluctantly that Gu Yanzhi and I were a match made in heaven.This is mainly reflected in the compatibility of our personalities.According to her, I am a hesitant person. I have made no claims on other things except for the pursuit of Gu Yanzhi.Then he pointed out that Gu Yanzhi was exactly the opposite of me.Based on the principle of unwillingness to face shortcomings directly, I originally denied this, but after all these years, I still have to admit that she was right.After thinking about it for so many days, I was still torn between concealing and confessing my illness.I was still swearing by it outside the clinic yesterday morning, and after a night of thinking about it, my bottom line started to change again.
I imagined how Gu Yanzhi hated me.I still can't stand it.Finally realizing that I am not at all as great as I thought I was.I pushed the bottom line down and down.I have liked a person for a long time, and finally waited for him to say that he loves me. I would rather this person mourn for my death for many years than bear him hating me from now on.I'm so selfish after all.
As long as Gu Yanzhi doesn't die with me, I will tell him the truth.I stared at Yan Yu closely, looking at his lips.Finally, after a long time, he spoke, and said slowly: "No wonder you insist on psychological control over him. This kind of paranoia can only use psychological control."
I still had a glimmer of hope: "Is it possible that what he said was just coaxing me?"
"Although Gu Yanzhi has always been a man with ulterior motives hidden in his smile," Yan Yu pushed his glasses and said calmly, "However, Du Wan, you have to admit that he has never said anything false on any occasion."
My heart finally became lifeless.
Yan Yu looked at me and said, "Why, do you feel heartache?"
I hummed weakly, so low that I couldn't even hear it.Yan Yu sneered, "You'll get used to this kind of pain after a while. God just throws stones at you, and there's nothing you can do about it. What do you think?"
I looked at him and said calmly, "Well, it's like Yuelao cut the red thread casually, and he just cut the one between you and Ye Xunxun, so there's nothing you can do about it, right?"
Yan Yu's eyes hidden behind the glasses were brewing and shooting rays, I suddenly felt my wrist tighten, and then the white porridge was poured out, and the person who came didn't notice it, but asked me in a panic: "Du Wan, you really got a bone! Terminal cancer?"
I raised my head and saw Li Xiangnan who I hadn't seen for nearly three years.
Since I confirmed our romantic relationship with Gu Yanzhi when I was a freshman, Li Xiangnan submitted the application for the school exchange student.It was rumored that he came to City A, but I never saw him once, nor did I receive any text messages from him.Looking at him now, he is a little thinner than before, and the contours of his face are larger—the last time I saw him was also darker.According to the current common female aesthetics, it should be considered handsome.But at the same time, the clothes were disheveled, the collar was crooked, and the buttons were buttoned in the wrong place.It can be seen what kind of wild running has been experienced just now.There was undisguised tension and sadness in my eyes, I looked at him and said slowly, "Ah."
After speaking, he turned his head and glared at Yan Yu. The latter did not lift his eyelids, took a sip of coffee slowly, and then said, "I think Gu Yanzhi should be useful if he is brainwashed about your accidental derailment. Today you first Let's meet and warm up. By the way, discuss what kind of plot is reasonable for a third party to intervene, so that the divorce can go smoothly."
Li Xiangnan turned a deaf ear to Yan Yu's words and kept staring at me: "Why did you get bone cancer? When did you find it? Aren't you always healthy? How do you treat it now? How long can you live? Don't be afraid, I'm with you."
"Your words are really like the classic lines in Korean dramas more than ten years ago, Li Xiangnan." I said, "Can you loosen my wrist first? To be honest, it hurts. I don't have bone cancer, but I have to squeeze it out for you." Bone cancer."
He let go immediately.Sit down next to me, look at me silently, and don't say anything.I didn't have any appetite at first, but when he showed his eyes as if looking at a cold corpse, I couldn't even eat a little porridge I scooped up. Just as I was about to put it down, the doctor in front of me said coldly: "I'd rather I don't like patients who don't listen to me. Eat it for me."
I said:"……"
Li Xiangnan immediately said: "Hey, can you still hold the bowl now? Let me feed you." Then he couldn't help but pick up the small bowl in front of me, and put the spoon by my mouth.
I stared at him blankly.After a while, Li Xiangnan finally put down the bowl slowly.I slowly finished a bowl of porridge under the watchful eyes of my four eyes, and the pain was so painful that I couldn't describe it.Then I heard Li Xiangnan whisper, "Du Wan."
"Humph?"
"Yan Yu told me what you want to do. I will cooperate with you. Just talk about what you need me to do." He looked at me with lowered eyes, slightly pursed his lips, and said slowly, "You There is no need to think about whether to use it or not, this is all my own will.”
I said, "Thank you. I can't do that."
He hurriedly said, "Don't think about anything else."
I said, "Thank you, I can't do that."
He was silent for a while, and then said: "Really, I feel so sad when you reject me. I have basically finished my graduation project now, and I have nothing to do anyway. Just treat me as your random friend, and you want me to help you with something. .You don’t have to feel that you owe me favors. If you really feel that this is not good, then give me money. It’s okay to exchange money, right? You decide the price.”
Yan Yu was covering her cheeks, and said coolly, "This is really affectionate."
As soon as he finished speaking, I heard my phone ring.
During this early morning hour, only one person would call.After hesitating for a while, I still picked it up.At the same time as it was connected, a deep and gentle voice came from the other end: "Wanwan?"
Cheer up and let out a cry.I said, "Are you in the company?"
He hummed and said, "I miss you a little bit."
He said this very naturally, and his tone was very ordinary.I bit the tip of my tongue so painfully that I could restrain the whimper caused by the gasping.After a while, I looked at the ceiling and said, "I miss you too."
He chuckled and said, "It sounds a bit noisy, are you having breakfast in the hotel restaurant?"
I said: "Ah."
"one person?"
I paused and said, "Ah."
"It doesn't sound like the truth," he said.
"..."
He said, "Which boy are you eating with?"
"..."
I cleared my throat and said, "Li Xiangnan."
There was an oh over there, a little teasing: "Do you want me to go and catch the current one?"
I lay down on the table, biting my sleeves tightly.After a while, I asked him, "What did you eat this morning?"
"Same as when you were here," he said, "or insist on coming back on Saturday?"
"..."
"How about coming back today?"
I wiped my tears and said, "Not good."
"Come back tomorrow, okay?"
"not good."
"But I feel fine," he said.
"..."
He repeated it again, with a softer and gentler voice than before: "Huh? Wanwan, come back tomorrow, okay?"
There is a battle between heaven and man in my mind.After a while, blurted out: "Okay."
Li Xiangnan and I went back to T City the next morning.
When I was on the plane, it was confirmed that my eyes were swollen.The expression on the face is also normal.When he was about to step into the airport pick-up hall, he was still a little nervous, he stopped abruptly and turned around, almost bumping into Li Xiangnan's body.
I pointed to my face and asked, "Is this okay?"
He looked at it for a while: "I still miss it eagerly. It should be a little more indifferent and lethargic. Press down the corners of your lips."
I did as I said: "Is that so?"
"It's still not enough."
"so?"
He finally nodded: "Okay."
My heart was pounding nervously.Finally turned around the passage, raised his eyes, and saw a slender figure at the entrance of the pick-up hall far away.
Gu Yanzhi has always been eye-catching.Even in the banquet where the clothes are fragrant and the shadows on the temples are shining, it is still the one that can be seen at a glance.Let alone at the airport.He stood there with his neckline open to the width of two buttons, holding the phone in his hand in a very casual gesture, but it gave off an indescribable sense of modesty.I don't know how long he has been waiting, and he walked faster and faster involuntarily. What Li Xiangnan said behind him gradually became inaudible, and the indifferent expression that he was thinking about just now couldn't hold back at all. , a familiar smile in the corner of his eyes.
He opened his arms far away towards me.I almost trot.Finally came to the front.The suitcase was released.I step forward.Arms wrapped around his waist, hugging him tightly.
I smelled a nice smell on his skirt.As warm and quiet as his people.My eye sockets are a little wet.I feel like I'm being hugged even tighter, without any gaps.His voice was low and gentle, like the lake water in this season, with slowly and thin wrinkles, straight to the heart: "Wanwan."
The bridge of my nose was sour, and I bit the tip of my tongue tightly.Just a little bit, he was about to blurt out the matter of his illness.
These days, in fact, there has been a seductive voice in my heart.It's like a continuous silk thread, subtle and endless.She has been telling me earnestly, tell Gu Yanzhi everything, and let him solve it.He is worthy of your wholehearted trust.All problems will not be problems in his eyes.This has always been the case before, and it is no exception now.He will have a better solution.He gave you anything you wanted.Jewelry, fancy clothes, confidence, care, beauty, and love.He is so powerful, perhaps he is really a god descended from the sky.
Such a passage, like words in the dark, became more and more noisy on the way back to T city.There seemed to be a real buzzing in the ears.All the psychological construction was about to be crushed, and there was only one sentence left, tell Gu Yanzhi, tell him.
I bite his shoulder.In the end, I still couldn't hold back the tears, and my eyes quickly became wet and blurred.After a while, another uncontrollable sob leaked out.
Gu Yanzhi paused, stroked the pads of his fingers, and accurately felt a little moisture.He kissed my hair, and there was a chuckle: "Miss me so much?"
I hold him tightly.Knowing that there must be people around him looking over, they held on to his clothes tightly and still didn't want to let go.He also refused to let him go.She nodded heavily in his arms.He rubbed his hand on my back and said with a smile, "Is the internship so hard?"
I nodded heavily again.The voice was choked up and unclear: "It hurts a lot. It hurts a lot."
He touched my cheek with his fingers, coaxing: "Then let me see if I've lost weight in the past few days."
I hugged him even tighter: "No. It's so ugly now."
Finally, someone next to him coughed heavily.Li Xiangnan spoke slowly: "Du Wan."
I froze, and finally became a little sober.Li Xiangnan's voice came over again calmly: "Your call has landed on my place."
After a while, he finally let go of the arm that was tightly hugging Gu Yanzhi.Not daring to look up, silently took the phone over.I heard Li Xiangnan say again: "You set up a time and place as soon as possible, so that I can find you conveniently."
Suddenly someone grabbed my shoulder lightly, and the person next to me smiled and said, "What are you looking for Wanwan for?"
Li Xiangnan said, "I have something to do."
Gu Yanzhi hummed with a raised voice, still smiling slightly: "What's the matter?"
Li Xiangnan replied lightly: "It's a private matter."
My scalp tingles.Feeling that Gu Yanzhi paused, he called out "Wanwan" slowly.
I looked up.His double eyelids were deep, and the end of his eyes seemed to be slightly raised, which seemed to be a half-smile: "What's going on?"
I lowered my head, unable to lift it up.He whispered, "It's a private matter."
"A private matter that I can't ask?"
I say yes."
His fingers touched the cuffs, and he paused for another moment.
I dare not look at him again.
I have never answered Gu Yanzhi like this before.
Although I have always felt that compared to Gu Yanzhi's, my affairs can only be called trivial matters.Therefore, I can often not bother me if I don't bother, but I often find that every time something goes wrong, Gu Yanzhi has already fallen from the sky before I ask for help.From the rainy weather after school to my preferred university major, he dealt with them in a timely manner and gave appropriate advice.He knows me better than I know myself.
I never felt that there was anything between us worth hiding.It's like the day I chattered with him in his arms every night before going to bed, and he told me all his account passwords in an understatement.Like he made fun of a little birthmark on my collarbone, I memorized his fixed preferences for cotton, cashmere and linen.It's like whenever I ask, there must be an answer.I only regret that I can't understand him as thoroughly as Gu Yanzhi understands me.When he never got angry with me, I was still afraid that I couldn't understand his intentions and make him secretly angry.
Time passed very slowly in that moment.Gu Yanzhi picked up my suitcase, turned around and took my hand and walked out.Li Xiangnan was left far behind.I raised my face and watched him carefully.He felt that he should be very angry, but he obviously looked indifferent, as if he didn't care at all.I hesitated for a while, but still couldn't hold back: "...you are angry, right?"
Gu Yanzhi turned his head, still smiling a little: "No."
I'm a little relieved.But more still not at ease.And said: "Really?"
He said lightly: "Fake."
"..."
In this way, I followed Gu Yanzhi into the car while feeling uneasy all the way.
The way home seems to be no different from the past.Gu Yanzhi didn't even change the speed and posture of driving, and his expression was calm from the beginning to the end, but he didn't speak.The car was so dull that I could hear my own breathing.After a while, I couldn't take it anymore.Cleared his throat and tried to talk to him: "When did you arrive at the airport?"
He replied lightly, "Ten o'clock."
I had nothing to say: "Then you have been waiting for a while."
After waiting for a long time, I didn't hear him reply, so I worked harder to look at him without blinking, and after a while, I finally heard him say "um" without turning his head.
I said, "Do you have anything to do in the company today?"
Gu Yanzhi said, "Yes."
"Are you going to the company this afternoon?"
"Don't go."
"..."
I finally ran out of ideas.She turned her head to look at him helplessly for a long time, but she still didn't see him turning her head once.Finally unable to hold on, I was at a loss.Suddenly, I remembered what Gu Yanzhi's secretary once said with deep emotion, that ten temples would be demolished, ten marriages would be ruined, and one of Gu Dong's hairs must not be plucked.
I used to think she was exaggerating.Now it seems that it is indeed right.
Obviously Gu Yanzhi didn't do anything, but I returned to Gu's house with a feeling of trepidation.Soon the housekeeper came up to him, opened the car door, and said to me with a smile, "Have you worked hard outside these days? I asked the kitchen to make soup this morning, and it will be just right for you to drink later. You must be tired from the journey today, so go upstairs Go take a shower, how about I bring it to your bedroom?"
I was blocked by the butler, and watched as Gu Yanzhi didn't go back to the second floor. I basically didn't hear what the butler said, so I just went around him and rushed to the second floor: "I'll talk about it later if I have anything to do."
While talking, he has already rushed to the front of the master bedroom on the second floor.I looked at the carved and curled door panel in front of me, took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.Waited for a while, no response.Knock twice more, and this time called Gu Yanzhi in a low voice, but there was still no response.It was finally confirmed that Gu Yanzhi was really angry this time.Carefully unscrewed the door, only had time to open a thin crack, and was suddenly dragged into the room by a force.The door was shut with a bang.I was hugged by the waist and pressed heavily against the door panel.
There are knees between my legs, forcing my toes off the ground.The eyes of the person in front of him were dark and dark, and his expression was plain.My hands were pressed by his sides.I looked at his face getting closer and closer, and my body couldn't move at all.Only the mouth can make a sound: "You, you, me, what do you want to do..."
His lips were half caught, and he bit down forcefully.Unprepared, a whimper escaped from my throat.Wanting to talk to him, but the tip of the tongue took advantage of the weakness to open the gap between the teeth, and then drove straight in.Search from top to bottom.Such kisses are rare, but they always make people fall into confusion quickly.I vaguely felt that there were fingers poking in from the hem of the clothes, and they were messing around at the waist.His whole body went limp, and he didn't fall to the ground only because he was holding him against the door.But he felt a fire rising in his body, and let out a muffled snort.
I don't know when my hands are around his neck.Gradually his kiss became gentle, he stepped back and kissed the corner of his lips little by little, biting his chin occasionally, playing and teasing.I knew he was angry, but slowly fell into this confusion and couldn't extricate himself.Facts show that I can't extricate myself from being in contact with his skin.Turning her head to bite him, he avoided it.I was a little anxious, and soon he hooked his chin and licked him carefully.If you use an inappropriate metaphor, such a kiss reminds people of the curly and graceful dodder grass.I hugged him even more urgingly, and felt him bit my lip, and said in a low voice, "Wanwan, who am I?"
My brain has long been unable to think, so I muttered instinctively: "Gu Yanzhi..."
"Who is Gu Yanzhi?"
"elder brother……"
His hand caressed my back slowly, and his lips still kissed leisurely: "What else?"
I was in the chaos, and felt that such a question was not comparable at all. I looked at him with some impatience, feeling that my eyes were wet and blurred: "Husband..."
His voice became softer and gentler: "Say you love me."
"I love you……"
"So, do you like Li Xiangnan, or do you like me more?"
"I like you more..."
When the voice fell, his lips fell on my neck, rolling and sucking ferociously.I was supported and raised my head, and after he took a bite that seemed to be punishing, I finally couldn't hold back my crying, and called out with a strong nasal voice: "Brother..."
I heard his restrained low hoarse voice: "Do you want me?"
I heard my own voice, which was so low and sweet that it was unbelievable: "I want to..."
The body was suddenly pushed up.The waist was pinched, and the top was pulled up to the ribs.Gu Yanzhi's breathing was low and depressed, and the kiss that fell on my lips hooked, licked and bit, and after a while, the lips and tongue were deeply intertwined, with almost suffocating strength.
I trembled involuntarily.The two calves were held by him and climbed up to his waist.Feeling the hot temperature of one of his hands, he pushed into the bottom of my shirt, found the button of the corset, and with a light snap, the restraint was untied.I finally woke up in the confusion for a few seconds, and started to stop him in a hurry: "...Wait, wait!"
He bit my earlobe lightly, his hands didn't stop at all, his breath was deep and ambiguous: "What are you doing?"
I trembled again, but luckily I could still remember what I wanted to say: "No, not here!"
"why not?"
"..." Wherever his fingers passed, it seemed that the sky was on fire. I tried to concentrate the last bit of energy, grabbed his arm and whispered, "The butler will come up! He will hear it!"
Gu Yanzhi said: "He dares."
There are fingers touching the inner side of the leg socket, and from there, teasing from bottom to top.It was as if thousands of neural networks were being involved, and I heard myself moaning uncontrollably.Suddenly, a burning blush spread to the ears.Covering her eyes with her hands, Gu Yanzhi approached her and kissed her fingers one by one.It's like tenderness that can soothe the heart.
Every love affair in the past few years is like a gluttonous feast, which is deeply impressive.Just the calm aura on Gu Yanzhi's body when he approached was enough to make his face blush and his heart beat.Ye Xunxun once seriously suggested that I stay away from Gu Yanzhi, preferably to reach the perfect distance that makes him want to eat but can't eat, of course it's okay to be further away, in short, I can't let Gu Yanzhi do whatever he wants.Her reason for this is that men are lower-body animals, and they get bored easily when they are full of wine. After getting bored, they may go to another woman. The result of this is basically divorce.Even if Gu Yanzhi's property will belong to me after the divorce, there is no guarantee that he will still get hotheaded and want a divorce.What's more, lust is inherently bad for the body, increasing income and reducing expenditure is the kingly way, and excessive indulgence will hurt the body.Ye Xunxun spoke so confidently that I was worried about it all afternoon.Then that night in the study room, when something unusual was surging again, I pushed Gu Yanzhi, and then quickly took two steps back.
I stared at him silently in the study.Seeing that his eyes were still dark, he raised his eyebrows: "Why?"
I collected myself and said in a low voice, "Look, we did that yesterday, we did that the day before yesterday, and we still have it today...so...not very good..."
The voice behind was as thin as a gnat, and Gu Yanzhi probably didn't hear it clearly, so he said, "So?"
"So, well, someone," I cleared my voice, mustered up the courage, and said in one breath, "someone told me to save money. Excessive indulgence is not good for health."
I vaguely suspected that the corners of his eyes should have jumped.But at the same time, he replied calmly: "It doesn't seem that way to increase revenue and reduce expenditure."
He said as he walked towards me.I subconsciously felt that something was wrong, and I immediately backed away until I reached the corner of the table. There was no way I could retreat anymore, and I resisted without hope: "It's just as long as you understand it, okay?"
The next moment I was carried to the desk by him.The pajamas on his body were pushed up to his chest.Gu Yanzhi leaned down and answered me before touching the corner of my lips: "The result of my understanding is that Ye Xunxun, who has 'someone', is obviously jealous."
……
The lips were kissed one after another, and the knee-length skirt was pulled up to the waist.There are fingers cutting between the legs, and the twisting movement is gentle.The feeling in my mind was so strong that I couldn't help but kiss the corner of his lips.Get a detailed response quickly.The body turned into a puddle of water in a trance, unable to control itself.Suddenly I heard footsteps outside the door, and soon there was a knock on the door, accompanied by the butler's voice: "Miss Du? I brought the fish soup."
"..."
I bit my lower lip tightly, suppressing a moan that almost spilled out.He suddenly raised his head and looked at Gu Yanzhi pleadingly.Soon I was kissed on the eyes, making people have to close their eyes, and then I heard a light click, and the door lock was locked. I opened my eyes and watched him kiss the corner of his lips, and the sound was loud. It seemed to be slowly fed in: "Don't pay attention to him."
I paused: "Yes, but..."
Before he could finish speaking, he heard something bump twice outside the door panel, and then there was a clear and crisp sound of smashing and hitting the ground.Then came the sound of walking down the stairs.I raised my head and looked at Gu Yanzhi speechlessly. There was a smile on the corner of his mouth, but the movements below bumped into him, and I felt very strong.I immediately grabbed his back subconsciously, feeling in a daze that there should be scratches from nails, but I didn't have time to pay attention to it. The feeling became more and more sensitive and intense, until I couldn't bear it anymore, I opened my mouth to breathe heavily, and Weeping intermittently.
The memory after that is not very coherent.In a daze, as if being carried back to the bed by Gu Yanzhi, he leaned down and gently kissed away the tears oozing from the corners of my eyes.I hugged his neck and asked him to be softer. He was really gentle, but he held my earlobe and teased it lightly. It wasn't until I was trembling that I heard him speak with a smile in his voice: "We will come again later. once?"
When the day really stopped, I was too conscious to know.I only remember that it took a long time before I was taken to the bathroom to take a bath. At that time, I was so hazy that I couldn't open my eyes. When I was wrapped in a bath towel and carried back under the sheets, I fell asleep immediately.But after a while, I was gently pushed awake again. Someone kissed my forehead, and the voice was soft and coaxing: "Wanwan, eat something before going to sleep."
I closed my eyes and didn't want to open them, and stretched out my hand in the direction of the voice in the darkness.He touched a bit of his clothing and grabbed it tightly.The consciousness was drowsy, and he asked inarticulately: "I don't want to eat. You come."
The owner of that voice paused, put the porcelain bowl on the table and cabinet, and clicked lightly.The next moment, half of the quilt was lifted, and I was gently embraced by a hug, my feet were brought into his lap, my back was gently stroked by him, and his chin touched the top of my hair.
I finally felt a peace of mind I hadn't felt these days.My mind was relaxed, and I fell into black sweetness completely.
(End of this chapter)
When I asked Yan Yu whether he could use the psychology and behavioral studies he had learned to change Gu Yanzhi's memories from the period after my college entrance examination, he was silent for a moment, then said coldly: "Why do you have to use This way? Just tell Gu Yanzhi that you have changed your mind, isn't that okay?"
"I don't think he will believe it if you tell him so bluntly." I looked at him, "I don't have that much time to make him believe it. I can only ask you for help."
"Your idea is really absurd, Du Wan." Yan Yu answered me slowly, "It is undeniable that there are indeed scientists abroad who are studying these things, and they have indeed successfully deleted the designated memory with electroshock therapy, but these are just In the experimental stage, if it has not been popularized to the clinical aspect, no matter how powerful I am, I will not be able to help you this step. Even if I can help you this step, how can Gu Yanzhi cooperate with me in this kind of experiment?"
I looked at him: "You are prevaricating. You clearly know that this is not what I am asking now."
He was silent for a while, and this time he pushed his glasses, his tone was colder than before: "You are right, I do understand mind control. But let me tell you the truth, mind control is completely different from simple amnesia. I I doubt you understand the difference between the two."
I said, "I understand."
He looked me up and down for a moment, looked at me suspiciously, and then said: "If Gu Yanzhi has amnesia now, I can make up a story and tell him that you have a change of heart. I guarantee that he can believe it. But now his sanity Clearer than anyone else. The so-called mind control technique cannot change people's inherent memory."
I said: "I know. I really understand, don't worry. Besides, if Gu Yanzhi is now amnesiac, I can tell him that I have changed my mind. There is no use for you, right? ?”
Yan Yu said: "..."
Yan Yu stared at me sternly.A cool light suddenly appeared on the lens.
"It is true that mind control cannot change a person's inherent memory. But it can start from a person's weakest point, change a person's world outlook and values quietly, and then affect a person's suspicion and perception of his own experience and surrounding things. Change." I looked up, "It's a type of behavioral control science. Your master's thesis special research is about this. Am I wrong?"
Yan Yu narrowed his eyes slightly, looking up and down through the lens.After a while, he spoke slowly: "It seems that your idea is not a whim. When did you check this information?"
I answered truthfully: "Last night."
When Yan Yu decided to conduct a second review, I no longer had any good hopes.I have been tossing and turning since the day before yesterday, until today when the diagnosis came out.All I can think about is what the future holds.If I must die any time soon, I hope I can go quietly.I wanted to find a nice aftermath that would make everyone less sad.For this reason, I was so busy that I didn't even have time to shed tears in these two days.When I suddenly thought of this idea last night, I jumped out of bed and spent the whole night searching for information.
Yan Yu looked at me deeply.Not long after, I calmly said: "You are right, I will indeed. In fact, this is not too difficult, many people will. But Du Wan, I am not one of those many people, I am a doctor. Even if I I don’t really like the hospital, and I’m still a doctor. It’s different from those pyramid schemers in the society who walk around in a mess. Mind control, another name, is brainwashing. This is an immoral field, even if I know it, I would Don’t give it to others easily.”
I was already mentally prepared that he might refuse.He didn't move after hearing this, but looked at him more and more pleadingly.Yan Yu was silent for a while, then continued: "In addition, psycho-control techniques are not available to everyone. The pyramid schemers use this method to select people who are not deeply involved in the world and have little experience. Many are students, or Old man. Gu Yanzhi's mind is hard, even if I try to manipulate him, it will basically fail."
I continued to look at him pleadingly, saying each word clearly: "Please help me."
He didn't answer for a long time, pinching his cuffs.Behind him are peach blossom petals.The late spring sun is warm.And his expression was cold, as if he was merciless.
I can imagine his concerns, and understandable.After all, even if it succeeds, such prohibited things cannot be publicized.On the contrary, if he fails, if he is exposed again, his medical ethics and reputation will be questioned.A doctor's license may be at risk of being revoked.In addition, he and Gu Yanzhi are friends who grew up together, and the relationship between him and Gu Yanzhi far surpasses the intersection between me and him.Besides, Yan Yu himself is not a warm-hearted person.
I was just making a request, and I didn't dare to hold out too much hope.Standing there for a long time, without getting a reply from him, I feel that I am gradually giving up.Desperately thinking about whether to cry or not, after all, I still feel very uncomfortable in my heart, and suddenly I heard him say lightly: "I can promise you."
I raised my head subconsciously, and Yan Yu looked at me condescendingly: "I know what you think, it won't do you any harm anyway. If it doesn't work out, you're just letting Gu Yanzhi know that you have bone cancer. The consequences of control are the same. You have nothing to lose. But if it succeeds, I hope you have prepared yourself for the consequences."
"……what?"
He said lightly, "Gu Yanzhi won't know the day you passed away. After you pass away, he won't go to your graveyard either. Those memories of your past belong to you only from now on. Gu Yanzhi will probably marry another She. If you're sure you can handle all of this, then I can try to help you."
Every word he said was heartbreaking.
After a while, I finally said oh.Intellectually, my next step is to say a little indifferently that it doesn't matter.However, it turns out that these six words are inexplicably heavy at this moment.I opened my mouth for a long time, but still couldn't speak.All I could do was answer in a low voice: "Yes."
I suddenly remembered a sentence that Ye Xunxun said one day after I was in college.At that time, everything seemed to have settled down: Li Xiangnan won the first prize in the science college entrance examination in T City, but gave up the A University that everyone envied, and stayed in T City to study in university; Ye Xunxun and Yan Yu reunited for the second time, and soon After that, we broke up for the third time. Not long after, she went to T University like me, and Yan Yu came to City A alone.All the people around me are single, but Gu Yanzhi and I are always in pairs.Finally, on my 20th birthday, Ye Xunxun was so stimulated that he couldn't stand it. He looked at me with resentful eyes and said quietly, Du Wan, God will be jealous of you being so happy.
Ye Xunxun accidentally made a prophecy again.
Now that I think about it, my feelings over the past four years can be summed up in three words, which is perfect.Bringing out every single thing is enough to make Ye Xunxun, who has been in a bad mood for a long time, break up with me.I still remember the time I sneaked away to City A by myself, and when I woke up the next day, I felt clean and fresh under the sheets.And Gu Yanzhi was lying on his side in a dark blue nightgown, and we were so close together that I could see his collarbone and the skin below his neck, which were loosely covered by the nightgown.His other hand was on my back, curling a little bit of my hair, and there was a smile on the corner of his mouth.Then he came over slowly, a little kiss on my forehead.
The ginkgo tree that Gu Yanzhi planted in front of the courtyard ten years ago has grown into a graceful shape now; when I was 19 years old, Gu’s house was renovated in preparation for a wedding, and Gu Yanzhi’s bedroom was made of light coloring according to my wish The decoration is light; when my 20th birthday was approaching, the media in T city rushed to report on a piece of land in the city center that had been vacant for half a year. After a month of construction, there were no cranes, bricks and tiles, but a two-story building was built. High glass greenhouse.
It's just inexplicably that there is no relevant news to find the source to Gu Yanzhi.I once felt strange, and asked Gu Yanzhi the reason, but Gu Yanzhi only lightly told me that the news personnel were not doing their job well.Until one day Jiang Yannan came to the door and kicked the door of Gu Yanzhi's office open, ignoring the secretary behind him who quickly covered his eyes, and me who was quickly pressed into his arms by Gu Yanzhi and wrapped in a windbreaker, he was so angry that his tone even echoed: " Gu Yanzhi, you are so sorry! So sorry! That piece of land in the city center is my land! My land! When you bought it from me, didn’t you say you were going to build an amusement park! Where did the agreed dividends go now! Where did it go? You pay me for my money! You pay me! What’s the point of building a broken glass house? , What is the picture of your broken glass house! Ah!"
Gu Yanzhi waited for him to finish yelling in one breath, said ah, and said calmly: "Because someone likes it, plus I am happy."
Jiang Yannan said: "..."
I said:"……"
I found a gap in the clothes that Gu Yanzhi was covering me tightly, and saw Jiang Yannan pointing at Gu Yanzhi tremblingly, his mouth was trembling with anger for a long time, and then suddenly he poked his finger far away on me.
Jiang Yannan yelled loudly, "You're stupid!"
My back trembled, and the gap was suddenly closed.I felt Hunjun's hand caressing my back, slowly caressing and comforting me, and then casually said: "Wanwan, look, divorced men are so scary."
Jiang Yannan said: "..."
I said:"……"
I also remember that on the second day of my 20th birthday, I went to the Civil Affairs Bureau with Gu Yanzhi.The sun was light and warm that day, we were sitting in the registration room, and there were roses in full bloom outside the window.The staff across a table looked at me for a while, then looked at Gu Yanzhi, and finally their eyes remained on me, and he said to me with some hesitation: "Little girl, are you an adult? This is a big marriage, not a joke. You, a minor, don't come here to mess around, okay?"
I said seriously, "I'm not fooling around." While handing over the account page with both hands, I sat upright and added, "Look for yourself, I'm already 20 years old, okay?"
He looked up at me distrustfully.Finally, take over the account page.While asking: "What's your name? What's your name?"
I let out an ah, and said seriously: "Gu Dushi."
Gu Yanzhi, who was always smiling and silent at the side, finally choked softly.He stretched out his hand, stroked the top of my hair, then put my shoulders together, and said with a smile, "Du Wan, Gu Yanzhi."
We have so many wonderful things and so many wonderful conversations.It's so good that just thinking about it a little bit is enough to stop it like an addiction.
Ye Xunxun once divided men into four classes regarding the ownership of time and money. Men in the lowest class will not spend any of their energy and money on you. The so-called marriage and childbirth is just an instinctive physiological reaction after adulthood That's all, so it's better not to have such a husband; a slightly higher man is willing to spend a small part of his spare energy and spare money on you, the so-called perfunctory marriage is greater than love; Most of the money is spent on you, this kind of marriage is serious and sweet; of course, the best man is willing to spend all his spare energy and money on you, trying his best to please you.However, such a man is rare in this world.
In the end, Ye Xunxun took a look at me and added: "Look, since Gu Yanzhi is willing to spend a lot of energy and money on you, it means that Gu Yanzhi is the second-class man in the middle. That's why you are so sweet."
I looked down at the back of my hand, and when I raised my head again, I tried my best to restrain the urge to turn my mouth upwards: "But, on my 20th birthday, Gu Yanzhi took all the real estate and cash savings under his name and held them in his hands. Half of all the equity in the agreement has been transferred to my name. And there is such a sentence in the transfer agreement, in the event of divorce, all the property in this agreement will belong to Du Wan alone. He said that this is also a prenuptial agreement, which has legal effective."
"..." Ye Xunxun stared at me, as if his throat was being choked, he opened his mouth and lost his voice for a while before recovering his voice, "Why did Gu Yanzhi do this?"
I said a word, looked out the window, and said nonchalantly, "It's nothing. He just said nine words at that time, just to increase my sense of security."
Ye Xunxun looked at me quietly for a while, then said darkly: "I hate people who show affection the most."
If I hadn't come to city A for a follow-up visit three days ago, if I'm still in city T now, then in this warm late spring, according to the original itinerary, I should have gone to the bridal shop with Gu Yanzhi to try on it Finished the wedding dress.
The wedding dresses are selected three and a half months in advance and handmade in Milan takes three months.I know exactly what that wedding dress looked like.White silk gloves, a hazy veil that stretches to the floor, a slim and graceful mermaid skirt, and a stretchy lily hollow pattern embroidered all over the body with meticulous stitches.All are so beautiful that people are obsessed.
At the bridal shop that day, Gu Yanzhi took the wedding dress album handed over by the clerk and flipped through it page by page.He always flipped through it casually, pressing his fingers on the insert, slender and smooth, slightly curved, and his brows and eyes were flat, with a casual appearance.It seems that no wedding dress that has been exhausted by the designer can catch his eyes.Obviously, I already feel that any one is good-looking enough.It wasn't until he threw away the photo album and flipped through another one, and the first article at the beginning was the appearance of this wedding dress, that Gu Yanzhi's fingers stopped, and he sat up straight, turned his eyes, and looked at me with a smile: "Wanwan , does this look good?"
From childhood to adulthood, every piece of clothing and every piece of jewelry he chose for me was so quiet and precious.
He once told me that every age of a girl has her best look.Everything has a sequence, one step earlier is too young, and one step later is artificial, so there is no need to rush.When he taught me the truth, he always spoke eloquently, with a low voice that made it impossible to refute.He once told me that I can have a lot of time to do whatever I want. At that time, I asked him what is called anything. He held a magazine in his hand, raised his eyes, and asked me: " For example, what do you want to do most now?"
I looked at him seriously and said, "I want to marry you the most."
As soon as the whole body was light, he had already fished him over, and he heard him laughing and saying: "Aren't you married to me already?"
I groaned, looked down at my fingers, and said casually: "I just feel that although we have registered, we haven't held a wedding yet, so I feel that something is always missing. Besides, you don't have any Seriously proposed to me, so I feel that something is missing. So now I feel like I didn't marry you at all. "
"..."
In this June, I will graduate from university.This early September, I was supposed to hold a wedding with Gu Yanzhi.The hotel has already been booked, and the invitations have been made. I just need to wait for me to go back to T City and sign each invitation with Gu Yanzhi.There is also my profile picture drawn by Gu Yanzhi himself on the invitation, which is exactly the so-called "fun ball" he drew on the phone when he was on a business trip to City A four years ago.
The wedding has been in the works for a long time, and everyone who should know and who shouldn't already knows.I seriously participated in every process of wedding preparations, and I was full of joy for a while.
I racked my brains to please a person, trying my best to make him like me.After working hard for so long, I finally got a good score.I never thought that one day I might divorce Gu Yanzhi.May be hated by him.Abandoned by him in the past.Be like a passerby with him.
Since last night, every time I think of this, my heart is pierced.
I went back to the hotel alone.When I received a call from Yan Yu during dinner, I said unhurriedly: "I suddenly remembered, why did you tell Gu Yanzhi that you would not return until three days later? Why didn't you leave tonight? You only have four months left Three days is one fortieth of your life. Instead of staying here doing nothing, you might as well go back to T city as soon as possible and get along with Gu Yanzhi for a few more days. When I prepare the materials and go back to T city to help you, then you will be fine Time to say goodbye."
I sat on the carpet, hugged my knees, looked at the ring on my ring finger in silence for a while, and said, "Doctor Yan, do you have an emotional intelligence?"
"what?"
"Do you think that a patient who just found out that she has a terminal illness may immediately turn on the joyful mode, hiding all the truth from her favorite person, as if nothing happened? You think I am an alien Huh? Do you think that everyone can go to the wedding in a calm suit and leather shoes just like you when your first love girlfriend gets married, talking and laughing at the wedding, and generously and tolerantly writing a red envelope of [-] cash at the end? Do you always think that you are the only one? Are you a normal person? Your logic has always been abnormal. In fact, you have no emotional intelligence at all, Doctor Yan Yu, do you know that?"
I finished speaking in one breath, and Yan Yu choked for a while.However, when he spoke again, he had already returned to the level of Yan who was so calm and rational that it was unacceptable for heaven: "Since you are so reluctant, then stop thinking about it. After all, the probability of success of that thing is very small, and it will cost me a lot of money." Mind power. You might as well run back and tell Gu Yanzhi right now that you are suffering from advanced bone cancer and you have four months to live. Even Yan Yu, the most skilled doctor in the country, can't help you. I believe he will feel twice as distressed on the spot Take care of you."
I was silenced by what he said.
How could I not have thought of doing this.No one in this world is willing to bear more pain.I wish I could run back to T City right now, throw myself into Gu Yanzhi's arms and cry loudly.Tell him the reason for the recent occasional bone pain and Yan Yu's final diagnosis.I can't wait to be comforted by him in his arms immediately.Just like every difficulty experienced in the past, the solution is to tell Gu Yanzhi immediately, and throw all the seemingly impossible problems to him.
I have not experienced the current situation.Living alone in the hotel, there is no sound around.And I just learned that I was terminally ill and finally diagnosed in the morning.
I'm actually terrified right now.
How I wish Gu Yanzhi could carelessly arrange everything this time like every time in the past.However, he is not a god after all.
He is calm and calm, unmoved.His understated words were regarded as the bible by the industry, and his small actions attracted the media to flock to him. He once brought a child back to T City from the mountains 11 years ago, and her life has been turned upside down ever since.
He can do it all.But he can't help but die.
If this happened 30 years later, I would definitely tell Gu Yanzhi without hesitation.If this happened ten years ago, I would have told Gu Yanzhi without hesitation.But now, after all my ups and downs, I've come to the conclusion that I can't do it after all.
On my birthday a year ago, Gu Yanzhi took me to the temple to finalize the wedding date for this year.It was almost dusk when we drove down the mountain, and a pale golden light diffused over the lathe, caressing his light-colored shirt and good-looking eyebrows and eyes.I rested my chin and watched him roll up his cuffs and concentrate on driving. Taking advantage of that day being my birthday, I asked him many difficult things in one breath.
Obviously I knew that I was making trouble for no reason, but he still answered every question patiently and well.And the last question I asked at the time was: "If I die before you, will you fall in love with someone else?"
I thought he would say "no", but he was just noncommittal.
And asked me back: "Wanwan, the four words of birth, old age, sickness and death, everyone will always encounter the last word. When it is our turn, do you hope that you will live longer than me, or is it the other way around?"
"..."
Before that, I didn't think about such a problem.I thought that life and death were far away from me.The so-called hypothesis is nothing more than a casual talk.However, when Gu Yanzhi asked back like this, I realized that I didn't know how to answer at all.I finally realized how cruel the hypothesis I just raised was to Gu Yanzhi.Suddenly I heard Gu Yanzhi continue to speak softly: "I hope that no matter what, I can live a little longer than you, it only takes a few days. After I finish the funeral, I will go to accompany you."
My heart was shocked, and I looked up suddenly.
Under the clouds and clouds, he kept his brows and eyes calm all the time, as if he was talking about the most normal thing.I have a faint suspicion that he has considered this issue for a long time.After a while, I whispered: "But, if, if I passed away very early, maybe I would be 30 years old. Do you want to do the same?"
He turned his head slightly to look at me.There is a little tenderness in the eyes.The voice slowly returned: "Wanwan, I must at least let you know that since you are married to me, I cannot let you suffer."
Gu Yanzhi was not someone who would say such words easily.
He always takes commitment seriously.Adjectives like frivolous and loose have never been associated with him.I read comments about him in magazines before, pointing out that people in the industry can always feel at ease when they cooperate with him.In his 30 years, he was calm and calm, and he never made such a joke.No matter how simple the words are, it will definitely be done.
Six years ago, when Gu Yanzhi's father passed away due to illness, I was concentrating on avoiding Gu Yanzhi and participating in the summer training camp. It took me a long time to learn about the news.And then carefully observe the expression of Gu Yanzhi who came to give me the parents' meeting, he has already become calm.However, I can remember that three years ago, when Gu Yanzhi's mother died because of mourning for her husband's depression, Gu Yanzhi went abroad to take care of the affairs and came back, his expression was calm and he didn't say a word for many days.I'm not very good at comforting people, and seeing him like this makes me even more worried that I might say something wrong.Some people say that people cannot be brought back to life after death, and mourning and resignation, but these kinds of things are actually the same as saying nothing.It is precisely because people cannot be resurrected after death that people mourn endlessly and it is difficult to change.Gu Yanzhi's mother had been depressed for three years, and she couldn't get over the influence of her husband's death.I think if someone said something like that to me, [-]% of the time, I would slam him and leave immediately.I thought about it for a long time and didn't know how to comfort him, but at the same time, I was worried that Gu Yanzhi would also become ill from worry. He has always been a dutiful son, but now he has both parents.I hesitated for a day or two, and finally grabbed a peach and walked up to him, and said to him, "Well, do you really not need me to comfort you?"
I was mentally prepared in advance, thinking that if he still told me that there was no need like two days ago, I would hand him the peach with an oh, say something that the housekeeper told me to give it to you, then turn around and leave.However, this time Gu Yanzhi raised his eyes to look at me, and smiled slightly.Then he held out his hand to me: "Come on."
I took a step forward and was hugged by him tightly.The top of the hair felt like it was hitting his chin.The delicate texture of his gray cashmere sweater is in front of his eyes.The ankle was also quickly taken into his arms.His fingers hooked the soles of my feet twice, I sighed, he laughed twice, and the whole person was pulled into his arms by him.This posture is vaguely familiar. I thought about it for a while, and felt that it was very similar to the appearance of a baby curled up in the belly when it was not born.The thought made people's cheeks a little hot, and then he heard his voice above his head: "So how do you want to comfort me?"
I gathered myself together, and said the words I had been preparing for a long time: "Ah, think about it, if Auntie and Uncle were alive in heaven, they wouldn't want you to worry all the time, would they?"
He hummed: "Is there any more?"
"Also, don't bury all your sad words in your heart. It's not good for your health. Say what you want to say."
He hummed again, this time with a slight smile: "Is there any more?"
"Also, you still have the company. You still have the pile of affairs you have to deal with. Then, if you want," I said nonchalantly, "you will always have me in the future."
He chuckled.There is a muffled vibration in the chest cavity.I finally realized that he didn't listen at all, he was just playing tricks on me.All of a sudden, he became angry from embarrassment, and immediately wanted to jump off his knees, but he was caught in his arms tightly by his eyesight and hands, and his arms were firm, unable to struggle.I said, "You let go let go let go!"
The hair around the ears is kissed densely.Gu Yanzhi smiled and called my name.The room gradually became silent, and the muffled sound of raindrops hitting the glass was heard outside the window.He said lightly: "There is nothing else. I only have you left."
I'm completely quiet.After a while, he whispered, "Me too."
……
I have been thinking about so many things in a mess.It was already dawn when I looked up.Yan Yu told me on the phone the night before that I should eat three healthy meals on time, otherwise I would die faster.He spoke so bluntly, I was speechless for a while, and said: "Dr. Yan, you keep talking like this, some patients can be scared to death by you, do you know?"
Yan Yu replied flatly: "But scaring people to death doesn't pay for their lives. It's nothing to do with me."
"..."
I went downstairs to the restaurant, and when I looked up, I saw Yan Yu sitting at the nearest table with a pile of plates, plates, cups and chopsticks in front of him, beckoning to me indifferently.I was stunned for a moment and walked over: "Why are you here?"
He said: "I found out with my conscience this morning that you seem to be worthy of sympathy. I will come here to pity you."
"Thank you. I don't need it. But I have a question to ask you." I hesitated and said, "What is the most important sentence you promised Ye Xunxun before?"
Yan Yu's hand holding the pancake stopped, and raised her cool eyelids: "Du Wan, you've become more courageous."
"When a person is about to die, his words become bolder and his courage grows." I said modestly, "So, have you fulfilled what you promised?"
Yan Yu's eyebrows began to turn blue, and there were faint signs of an attack: "You don't care about me!"
I said aloud: "Then what you mean is that you did it. What did you do? Did you keep yourself as clean as jade? Or did you not marry for life except Ye Xunxun?"
Yan Yu dropped the napkin and finally got furious: "You don't care what I did! It's none of your business what I do! I have nothing to do with Ye Xunxun! Du Wan, finish eating and leave quickly ! Hurry up and go!"
"Since you have done this," I continued in a low voice as if I didn't hear it, "then, Gu Yanzhi also promised me before that if I die, no matter what time it is, he will arrange my funeral first. Then go with me. In this case, he said solemnly at the time. Then do you think he will really do it?"
I stared at Yan Yu, hoping that he would say no to this.
Ye Xunxun once admitted reluctantly that Gu Yanzhi and I were a match made in heaven.This is mainly reflected in the compatibility of our personalities.According to her, I am a hesitant person. I have made no claims on other things except for the pursuit of Gu Yanzhi.Then he pointed out that Gu Yanzhi was exactly the opposite of me.Based on the principle of unwillingness to face shortcomings directly, I originally denied this, but after all these years, I still have to admit that she was right.After thinking about it for so many days, I was still torn between concealing and confessing my illness.I was still swearing by it outside the clinic yesterday morning, and after a night of thinking about it, my bottom line started to change again.
I imagined how Gu Yanzhi hated me.I still can't stand it.Finally realizing that I am not at all as great as I thought I was.I pushed the bottom line down and down.I have liked a person for a long time, and finally waited for him to say that he loves me. I would rather this person mourn for my death for many years than bear him hating me from now on.I'm so selfish after all.
As long as Gu Yanzhi doesn't die with me, I will tell him the truth.I stared at Yan Yu closely, looking at his lips.Finally, after a long time, he spoke, and said slowly: "No wonder you insist on psychological control over him. This kind of paranoia can only use psychological control."
I still had a glimmer of hope: "Is it possible that what he said was just coaxing me?"
"Although Gu Yanzhi has always been a man with ulterior motives hidden in his smile," Yan Yu pushed his glasses and said calmly, "However, Du Wan, you have to admit that he has never said anything false on any occasion."
My heart finally became lifeless.
Yan Yu looked at me and said, "Why, do you feel heartache?"
I hummed weakly, so low that I couldn't even hear it.Yan Yu sneered, "You'll get used to this kind of pain after a while. God just throws stones at you, and there's nothing you can do about it. What do you think?"
I looked at him and said calmly, "Well, it's like Yuelao cut the red thread casually, and he just cut the one between you and Ye Xunxun, so there's nothing you can do about it, right?"
Yan Yu's eyes hidden behind the glasses were brewing and shooting rays, I suddenly felt my wrist tighten, and then the white porridge was poured out, and the person who came didn't notice it, but asked me in a panic: "Du Wan, you really got a bone! Terminal cancer?"
I raised my head and saw Li Xiangnan who I hadn't seen for nearly three years.
Since I confirmed our romantic relationship with Gu Yanzhi when I was a freshman, Li Xiangnan submitted the application for the school exchange student.It was rumored that he came to City A, but I never saw him once, nor did I receive any text messages from him.Looking at him now, he is a little thinner than before, and the contours of his face are larger—the last time I saw him was also darker.According to the current common female aesthetics, it should be considered handsome.But at the same time, the clothes were disheveled, the collar was crooked, and the buttons were buttoned in the wrong place.It can be seen what kind of wild running has been experienced just now.There was undisguised tension and sadness in my eyes, I looked at him and said slowly, "Ah."
After speaking, he turned his head and glared at Yan Yu. The latter did not lift his eyelids, took a sip of coffee slowly, and then said, "I think Gu Yanzhi should be useful if he is brainwashed about your accidental derailment. Today you first Let's meet and warm up. By the way, discuss what kind of plot is reasonable for a third party to intervene, so that the divorce can go smoothly."
Li Xiangnan turned a deaf ear to Yan Yu's words and kept staring at me: "Why did you get bone cancer? When did you find it? Aren't you always healthy? How do you treat it now? How long can you live? Don't be afraid, I'm with you."
"Your words are really like the classic lines in Korean dramas more than ten years ago, Li Xiangnan." I said, "Can you loosen my wrist first? To be honest, it hurts. I don't have bone cancer, but I have to squeeze it out for you." Bone cancer."
He let go immediately.Sit down next to me, look at me silently, and don't say anything.I didn't have any appetite at first, but when he showed his eyes as if looking at a cold corpse, I couldn't even eat a little porridge I scooped up. Just as I was about to put it down, the doctor in front of me said coldly: "I'd rather I don't like patients who don't listen to me. Eat it for me."
I said:"……"
Li Xiangnan immediately said: "Hey, can you still hold the bowl now? Let me feed you." Then he couldn't help but pick up the small bowl in front of me, and put the spoon by my mouth.
I stared at him blankly.After a while, Li Xiangnan finally put down the bowl slowly.I slowly finished a bowl of porridge under the watchful eyes of my four eyes, and the pain was so painful that I couldn't describe it.Then I heard Li Xiangnan whisper, "Du Wan."
"Humph?"
"Yan Yu told me what you want to do. I will cooperate with you. Just talk about what you need me to do." He looked at me with lowered eyes, slightly pursed his lips, and said slowly, "You There is no need to think about whether to use it or not, this is all my own will.”
I said, "Thank you. I can't do that."
He hurriedly said, "Don't think about anything else."
I said, "Thank you, I can't do that."
He was silent for a while, and then said: "Really, I feel so sad when you reject me. I have basically finished my graduation project now, and I have nothing to do anyway. Just treat me as your random friend, and you want me to help you with something. .You don’t have to feel that you owe me favors. If you really feel that this is not good, then give me money. It’s okay to exchange money, right? You decide the price.”
Yan Yu was covering her cheeks, and said coolly, "This is really affectionate."
As soon as he finished speaking, I heard my phone ring.
During this early morning hour, only one person would call.After hesitating for a while, I still picked it up.At the same time as it was connected, a deep and gentle voice came from the other end: "Wanwan?"
Cheer up and let out a cry.I said, "Are you in the company?"
He hummed and said, "I miss you a little bit."
He said this very naturally, and his tone was very ordinary.I bit the tip of my tongue so painfully that I could restrain the whimper caused by the gasping.After a while, I looked at the ceiling and said, "I miss you too."
He chuckled and said, "It sounds a bit noisy, are you having breakfast in the hotel restaurant?"
I said: "Ah."
"one person?"
I paused and said, "Ah."
"It doesn't sound like the truth," he said.
"..."
He said, "Which boy are you eating with?"
"..."
I cleared my throat and said, "Li Xiangnan."
There was an oh over there, a little teasing: "Do you want me to go and catch the current one?"
I lay down on the table, biting my sleeves tightly.After a while, I asked him, "What did you eat this morning?"
"Same as when you were here," he said, "or insist on coming back on Saturday?"
"..."
"How about coming back today?"
I wiped my tears and said, "Not good."
"Come back tomorrow, okay?"
"not good."
"But I feel fine," he said.
"..."
He repeated it again, with a softer and gentler voice than before: "Huh? Wanwan, come back tomorrow, okay?"
There is a battle between heaven and man in my mind.After a while, blurted out: "Okay."
Li Xiangnan and I went back to T City the next morning.
When I was on the plane, it was confirmed that my eyes were swollen.The expression on the face is also normal.When he was about to step into the airport pick-up hall, he was still a little nervous, he stopped abruptly and turned around, almost bumping into Li Xiangnan's body.
I pointed to my face and asked, "Is this okay?"
He looked at it for a while: "I still miss it eagerly. It should be a little more indifferent and lethargic. Press down the corners of your lips."
I did as I said: "Is that so?"
"It's still not enough."
"so?"
He finally nodded: "Okay."
My heart was pounding nervously.Finally turned around the passage, raised his eyes, and saw a slender figure at the entrance of the pick-up hall far away.
Gu Yanzhi has always been eye-catching.Even in the banquet where the clothes are fragrant and the shadows on the temples are shining, it is still the one that can be seen at a glance.Let alone at the airport.He stood there with his neckline open to the width of two buttons, holding the phone in his hand in a very casual gesture, but it gave off an indescribable sense of modesty.I don't know how long he has been waiting, and he walked faster and faster involuntarily. What Li Xiangnan said behind him gradually became inaudible, and the indifferent expression that he was thinking about just now couldn't hold back at all. , a familiar smile in the corner of his eyes.
He opened his arms far away towards me.I almost trot.Finally came to the front.The suitcase was released.I step forward.Arms wrapped around his waist, hugging him tightly.
I smelled a nice smell on his skirt.As warm and quiet as his people.My eye sockets are a little wet.I feel like I'm being hugged even tighter, without any gaps.His voice was low and gentle, like the lake water in this season, with slowly and thin wrinkles, straight to the heart: "Wanwan."
The bridge of my nose was sour, and I bit the tip of my tongue tightly.Just a little bit, he was about to blurt out the matter of his illness.
These days, in fact, there has been a seductive voice in my heart.It's like a continuous silk thread, subtle and endless.She has been telling me earnestly, tell Gu Yanzhi everything, and let him solve it.He is worthy of your wholehearted trust.All problems will not be problems in his eyes.This has always been the case before, and it is no exception now.He will have a better solution.He gave you anything you wanted.Jewelry, fancy clothes, confidence, care, beauty, and love.He is so powerful, perhaps he is really a god descended from the sky.
Such a passage, like words in the dark, became more and more noisy on the way back to T city.There seemed to be a real buzzing in the ears.All the psychological construction was about to be crushed, and there was only one sentence left, tell Gu Yanzhi, tell him.
I bite his shoulder.In the end, I still couldn't hold back the tears, and my eyes quickly became wet and blurred.After a while, another uncontrollable sob leaked out.
Gu Yanzhi paused, stroked the pads of his fingers, and accurately felt a little moisture.He kissed my hair, and there was a chuckle: "Miss me so much?"
I hold him tightly.Knowing that there must be people around him looking over, they held on to his clothes tightly and still didn't want to let go.He also refused to let him go.She nodded heavily in his arms.He rubbed his hand on my back and said with a smile, "Is the internship so hard?"
I nodded heavily again.The voice was choked up and unclear: "It hurts a lot. It hurts a lot."
He touched my cheek with his fingers, coaxing: "Then let me see if I've lost weight in the past few days."
I hugged him even tighter: "No. It's so ugly now."
Finally, someone next to him coughed heavily.Li Xiangnan spoke slowly: "Du Wan."
I froze, and finally became a little sober.Li Xiangnan's voice came over again calmly: "Your call has landed on my place."
After a while, he finally let go of the arm that was tightly hugging Gu Yanzhi.Not daring to look up, silently took the phone over.I heard Li Xiangnan say again: "You set up a time and place as soon as possible, so that I can find you conveniently."
Suddenly someone grabbed my shoulder lightly, and the person next to me smiled and said, "What are you looking for Wanwan for?"
Li Xiangnan said, "I have something to do."
Gu Yanzhi hummed with a raised voice, still smiling slightly: "What's the matter?"
Li Xiangnan replied lightly: "It's a private matter."
My scalp tingles.Feeling that Gu Yanzhi paused, he called out "Wanwan" slowly.
I looked up.His double eyelids were deep, and the end of his eyes seemed to be slightly raised, which seemed to be a half-smile: "What's going on?"
I lowered my head, unable to lift it up.He whispered, "It's a private matter."
"A private matter that I can't ask?"
I say yes."
His fingers touched the cuffs, and he paused for another moment.
I dare not look at him again.
I have never answered Gu Yanzhi like this before.
Although I have always felt that compared to Gu Yanzhi's, my affairs can only be called trivial matters.Therefore, I can often not bother me if I don't bother, but I often find that every time something goes wrong, Gu Yanzhi has already fallen from the sky before I ask for help.From the rainy weather after school to my preferred university major, he dealt with them in a timely manner and gave appropriate advice.He knows me better than I know myself.
I never felt that there was anything between us worth hiding.It's like the day I chattered with him in his arms every night before going to bed, and he told me all his account passwords in an understatement.Like he made fun of a little birthmark on my collarbone, I memorized his fixed preferences for cotton, cashmere and linen.It's like whenever I ask, there must be an answer.I only regret that I can't understand him as thoroughly as Gu Yanzhi understands me.When he never got angry with me, I was still afraid that I couldn't understand his intentions and make him secretly angry.
Time passed very slowly in that moment.Gu Yanzhi picked up my suitcase, turned around and took my hand and walked out.Li Xiangnan was left far behind.I raised my face and watched him carefully.He felt that he should be very angry, but he obviously looked indifferent, as if he didn't care at all.I hesitated for a while, but still couldn't hold back: "...you are angry, right?"
Gu Yanzhi turned his head, still smiling a little: "No."
I'm a little relieved.But more still not at ease.And said: "Really?"
He said lightly: "Fake."
"..."
In this way, I followed Gu Yanzhi into the car while feeling uneasy all the way.
The way home seems to be no different from the past.Gu Yanzhi didn't even change the speed and posture of driving, and his expression was calm from the beginning to the end, but he didn't speak.The car was so dull that I could hear my own breathing.After a while, I couldn't take it anymore.Cleared his throat and tried to talk to him: "When did you arrive at the airport?"
He replied lightly, "Ten o'clock."
I had nothing to say: "Then you have been waiting for a while."
After waiting for a long time, I didn't hear him reply, so I worked harder to look at him without blinking, and after a while, I finally heard him say "um" without turning his head.
I said, "Do you have anything to do in the company today?"
Gu Yanzhi said, "Yes."
"Are you going to the company this afternoon?"
"Don't go."
"..."
I finally ran out of ideas.She turned her head to look at him helplessly for a long time, but she still didn't see him turning her head once.Finally unable to hold on, I was at a loss.Suddenly, I remembered what Gu Yanzhi's secretary once said with deep emotion, that ten temples would be demolished, ten marriages would be ruined, and one of Gu Dong's hairs must not be plucked.
I used to think she was exaggerating.Now it seems that it is indeed right.
Obviously Gu Yanzhi didn't do anything, but I returned to Gu's house with a feeling of trepidation.Soon the housekeeper came up to him, opened the car door, and said to me with a smile, "Have you worked hard outside these days? I asked the kitchen to make soup this morning, and it will be just right for you to drink later. You must be tired from the journey today, so go upstairs Go take a shower, how about I bring it to your bedroom?"
I was blocked by the butler, and watched as Gu Yanzhi didn't go back to the second floor. I basically didn't hear what the butler said, so I just went around him and rushed to the second floor: "I'll talk about it later if I have anything to do."
While talking, he has already rushed to the front of the master bedroom on the second floor.I looked at the carved and curled door panel in front of me, took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.Waited for a while, no response.Knock twice more, and this time called Gu Yanzhi in a low voice, but there was still no response.It was finally confirmed that Gu Yanzhi was really angry this time.Carefully unscrewed the door, only had time to open a thin crack, and was suddenly dragged into the room by a force.The door was shut with a bang.I was hugged by the waist and pressed heavily against the door panel.
There are knees between my legs, forcing my toes off the ground.The eyes of the person in front of him were dark and dark, and his expression was plain.My hands were pressed by his sides.I looked at his face getting closer and closer, and my body couldn't move at all.Only the mouth can make a sound: "You, you, me, what do you want to do..."
His lips were half caught, and he bit down forcefully.Unprepared, a whimper escaped from my throat.Wanting to talk to him, but the tip of the tongue took advantage of the weakness to open the gap between the teeth, and then drove straight in.Search from top to bottom.Such kisses are rare, but they always make people fall into confusion quickly.I vaguely felt that there were fingers poking in from the hem of the clothes, and they were messing around at the waist.His whole body went limp, and he didn't fall to the ground only because he was holding him against the door.But he felt a fire rising in his body, and let out a muffled snort.
I don't know when my hands are around his neck.Gradually his kiss became gentle, he stepped back and kissed the corner of his lips little by little, biting his chin occasionally, playing and teasing.I knew he was angry, but slowly fell into this confusion and couldn't extricate himself.Facts show that I can't extricate myself from being in contact with his skin.Turning her head to bite him, he avoided it.I was a little anxious, and soon he hooked his chin and licked him carefully.If you use an inappropriate metaphor, such a kiss reminds people of the curly and graceful dodder grass.I hugged him even more urgingly, and felt him bit my lip, and said in a low voice, "Wanwan, who am I?"
My brain has long been unable to think, so I muttered instinctively: "Gu Yanzhi..."
"Who is Gu Yanzhi?"
"elder brother……"
His hand caressed my back slowly, and his lips still kissed leisurely: "What else?"
I was in the chaos, and felt that such a question was not comparable at all. I looked at him with some impatience, feeling that my eyes were wet and blurred: "Husband..."
His voice became softer and gentler: "Say you love me."
"I love you……"
"So, do you like Li Xiangnan, or do you like me more?"
"I like you more..."
When the voice fell, his lips fell on my neck, rolling and sucking ferociously.I was supported and raised my head, and after he took a bite that seemed to be punishing, I finally couldn't hold back my crying, and called out with a strong nasal voice: "Brother..."
I heard his restrained low hoarse voice: "Do you want me?"
I heard my own voice, which was so low and sweet that it was unbelievable: "I want to..."
The body was suddenly pushed up.The waist was pinched, and the top was pulled up to the ribs.Gu Yanzhi's breathing was low and depressed, and the kiss that fell on my lips hooked, licked and bit, and after a while, the lips and tongue were deeply intertwined, with almost suffocating strength.
I trembled involuntarily.The two calves were held by him and climbed up to his waist.Feeling the hot temperature of one of his hands, he pushed into the bottom of my shirt, found the button of the corset, and with a light snap, the restraint was untied.I finally woke up in the confusion for a few seconds, and started to stop him in a hurry: "...Wait, wait!"
He bit my earlobe lightly, his hands didn't stop at all, his breath was deep and ambiguous: "What are you doing?"
I trembled again, but luckily I could still remember what I wanted to say: "No, not here!"
"why not?"
"..." Wherever his fingers passed, it seemed that the sky was on fire. I tried to concentrate the last bit of energy, grabbed his arm and whispered, "The butler will come up! He will hear it!"
Gu Yanzhi said: "He dares."
There are fingers touching the inner side of the leg socket, and from there, teasing from bottom to top.It was as if thousands of neural networks were being involved, and I heard myself moaning uncontrollably.Suddenly, a burning blush spread to the ears.Covering her eyes with her hands, Gu Yanzhi approached her and kissed her fingers one by one.It's like tenderness that can soothe the heart.
Every love affair in the past few years is like a gluttonous feast, which is deeply impressive.Just the calm aura on Gu Yanzhi's body when he approached was enough to make his face blush and his heart beat.Ye Xunxun once seriously suggested that I stay away from Gu Yanzhi, preferably to reach the perfect distance that makes him want to eat but can't eat, of course it's okay to be further away, in short, I can't let Gu Yanzhi do whatever he wants.Her reason for this is that men are lower-body animals, and they get bored easily when they are full of wine. After getting bored, they may go to another woman. The result of this is basically divorce.Even if Gu Yanzhi's property will belong to me after the divorce, there is no guarantee that he will still get hotheaded and want a divorce.What's more, lust is inherently bad for the body, increasing income and reducing expenditure is the kingly way, and excessive indulgence will hurt the body.Ye Xunxun spoke so confidently that I was worried about it all afternoon.Then that night in the study room, when something unusual was surging again, I pushed Gu Yanzhi, and then quickly took two steps back.
I stared at him silently in the study.Seeing that his eyes were still dark, he raised his eyebrows: "Why?"
I collected myself and said in a low voice, "Look, we did that yesterday, we did that the day before yesterday, and we still have it today...so...not very good..."
The voice behind was as thin as a gnat, and Gu Yanzhi probably didn't hear it clearly, so he said, "So?"
"So, well, someone," I cleared my voice, mustered up the courage, and said in one breath, "someone told me to save money. Excessive indulgence is not good for health."
I vaguely suspected that the corners of his eyes should have jumped.But at the same time, he replied calmly: "It doesn't seem that way to increase revenue and reduce expenditure."
He said as he walked towards me.I subconsciously felt that something was wrong, and I immediately backed away until I reached the corner of the table. There was no way I could retreat anymore, and I resisted without hope: "It's just as long as you understand it, okay?"
The next moment I was carried to the desk by him.The pajamas on his body were pushed up to his chest.Gu Yanzhi leaned down and answered me before touching the corner of my lips: "The result of my understanding is that Ye Xunxun, who has 'someone', is obviously jealous."
……
The lips were kissed one after another, and the knee-length skirt was pulled up to the waist.There are fingers cutting between the legs, and the twisting movement is gentle.The feeling in my mind was so strong that I couldn't help but kiss the corner of his lips.Get a detailed response quickly.The body turned into a puddle of water in a trance, unable to control itself.Suddenly I heard footsteps outside the door, and soon there was a knock on the door, accompanied by the butler's voice: "Miss Du? I brought the fish soup."
"..."
I bit my lower lip tightly, suppressing a moan that almost spilled out.He suddenly raised his head and looked at Gu Yanzhi pleadingly.Soon I was kissed on the eyes, making people have to close their eyes, and then I heard a light click, and the door lock was locked. I opened my eyes and watched him kiss the corner of his lips, and the sound was loud. It seemed to be slowly fed in: "Don't pay attention to him."
I paused: "Yes, but..."
Before he could finish speaking, he heard something bump twice outside the door panel, and then there was a clear and crisp sound of smashing and hitting the ground.Then came the sound of walking down the stairs.I raised my head and looked at Gu Yanzhi speechlessly. There was a smile on the corner of his mouth, but the movements below bumped into him, and I felt very strong.I immediately grabbed his back subconsciously, feeling in a daze that there should be scratches from nails, but I didn't have time to pay attention to it. The feeling became more and more sensitive and intense, until I couldn't bear it anymore, I opened my mouth to breathe heavily, and Weeping intermittently.
The memory after that is not very coherent.In a daze, as if being carried back to the bed by Gu Yanzhi, he leaned down and gently kissed away the tears oozing from the corners of my eyes.I hugged his neck and asked him to be softer. He was really gentle, but he held my earlobe and teased it lightly. It wasn't until I was trembling that I heard him speak with a smile in his voice: "We will come again later. once?"
When the day really stopped, I was too conscious to know.I only remember that it took a long time before I was taken to the bathroom to take a bath. At that time, I was so hazy that I couldn't open my eyes. When I was wrapped in a bath towel and carried back under the sheets, I fell asleep immediately.But after a while, I was gently pushed awake again. Someone kissed my forehead, and the voice was soft and coaxing: "Wanwan, eat something before going to sleep."
I closed my eyes and didn't want to open them, and stretched out my hand in the direction of the voice in the darkness.He touched a bit of his clothing and grabbed it tightly.The consciousness was drowsy, and he asked inarticulately: "I don't want to eat. You come."
The owner of that voice paused, put the porcelain bowl on the table and cabinet, and clicked lightly.The next moment, half of the quilt was lifted, and I was gently embraced by a hug, my feet were brought into his lap, my back was gently stroked by him, and his chin touched the top of my hair.
I finally felt a peace of mind I hadn't felt these days.My mind was relaxed, and I fell into black sweetness completely.
(End of this chapter)
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