Will of chaos
888 Cap 886: Waking up from hell
Pov Nix:
Me and the other Familiars of the master were around his Sister, the Living Nightmare.
"What did you do with the master?" (I)
"He's sleeping, you can talk to him tomorrow." (Caitlyn)
"Master... suffering..." (Hinata)
"He'll be fine." (Caitlyn)
"Why can't I connect with him!? Why can't I feel him right!?" (Layla)
"She's using a Barrier with her Authority." (Ragnar)
"Very good to see that, Son of Zoe." (Caitlyn)
"We can still feel that he is suffering, but not how much." (Orion)
"What you do with him?" (I)
"You guys are annoying, but I'm surprised your connection isn't completely severed." (Caitlyn)
"Anyway, he asked for it even though I warned him of the consequences." (Caitlyn)
"Then why the barrier? Why can't we have him?" (Sakura)
"Why would it be worse, your connection to him would be a nuisance we don't need, it also prevents anyone from seeing him that way." (Caitlyn)
"He is fine?" (I)
"No, he's not fine." (Caitlyn)
"..." (I)
"< Sleep >" (Caitlyn)
We were all around one of the most powerful people in the world because we were worried about the master, she answered our questions for a few minutes, but then she lost her temper and snapped her fingers making everyone fall asleep but me.
"Why put everyone to sleep but me?" (I)
"Because someone wants to talk to you." (Caitlyn)
Before I knew it I was in another room, I was in front of a bed where a man was sleeping with tears coming out of his eyes.
"..." (I)
"Father..." (I)
I didn't even know how I got here and I didn't care at that moment, I was afraid to enter that room, afraid of what I would feel when I looked at it so closely, afraid of remembering that day where we parted.
"Why is he crying?" (I)
"Arash is not someone easy to control, he can be very impulsive at times, a common fault for True Dragons, but even so I was chosen to ensure he didn't seek you out too soon." (Caitlyn)
"I'm not stronger than he is, but I know his weakness, he's dreaming of his dead wife now, the only way to really stop him." (Caitlyn)
"..." (I)
"I couldn't let him get in the way of meeting my brothers so I let him sleep in a dream he liked." (Caitlyn)
"Then why is he crying?" (I)
"Because he knows it's a dream, she's not really there, but he still can't leave the dream." (Caitlyn)
"I... I can't... not now..." (I)
I run my hand over his face, his appearance hasn't changed at all, I missed that face so much, hearing his breath and being close to him.
"I don't want to meet with him while the master is..." (I)
"I can't do this right now..." (I)
"Okay, we can save that for later." (Caitlyn)
-----------
Pov Zenos:
I lost track of how much time had passed, lost track of how many times I watched each of them die, lost track of how many times I let myself be consumed by this pain.
"Why!? Because I can't save them!?" (I)
I've asked myself that question thousands of times, there were many times when it felt like I was out, that I was out of this hell, but each time their death hit me with the harsh reality that I was still in this circle of eternal death.
At first, all I felt was sadness, that was the first emotion to consume me, I thought I would go even more crazy, I wanted to give up many times when I was consumed by despair soon after, I wanted to deny, I wanted to deny these deaths, deny this reality that I knew to be false, to deny my inability to save them.
After the despair came the rage that burned everything I was feeling, rage at me, at this eternal nightmare, at my sister who did this to me and everything.
That anger over time turned to hate, and a voice in my head started whispering to forget everyone, if I didn't care about anyone their deaths wouldn't make me suffer anymore, all I needed was to give up on everything and everyone, it was so easy to just agree with that voice.
"Father..." (Vanessa)
"I'm here, my dear..." (I)
It was after all these emotions had surged like tsunamis inside me, wrecking my mind over and over again that I remembered what my sister had said.
"(Try to remember my words at all times, there is only one you among different masks.)" (Caitlyn)
I was on a battlefield with body parts scattered everywhere, these bodies were my companions, this battlefield was the city inside the Dungeon completely destroyed and Vanessa who was dying with half of her body missing was in my arms.
It was at that moment that I realized that I would never be able to sever my connection with them, I could never deny how important they all are to me.
Even if I had to endure the worst of pain or the worst of despair, everyone's image in my heart will always be my greatest treasure.
All this time I tried to resist these feelings or let myself be consumed by these feelings, but now I just accepted them.
It was then that my sister's words came back to me, I accepted my fear and madness a long time ago, I even accepted the part of me that was a monster, I had accepted those parts of myself in the past because I could see clearly that I wasn't a monster it was more that man in a hospital bed just waiting to die.
That man died, I am what I am, nothing more and nothing less, but even accepting what I've become, for any living being it's difficult to accept everything in itself.
Everyone wants to deny hate, everyone wants to suppress anger, everyone wants to pretend they're not sad, and everyone wants to forget what despair is.
These are common, but very strong emotions that can drive a person crazy.
"She was mistaken, these are not masks, she did not realize that the name she gave is very suitable ..." (I)
"They are sparks and like any spark can become a big fire destroying everything in its path." (I)
"I don't need to deny or control, I just need to consume these feelings instead, let this fire become power in times of need, use this madness to protect everyone." (I)
I look down at Vanessa in my arms and plant a kiss on her forehead as I use my own blood to heal half of her body and use my Aura to spread my blood across the entire battlefield using this pain I'm feeling to expand far beyond my limit my Aura and rescue those who are at death's door.
"I won't lose anyone else!" (I)
CRACK CRACK CRACK
I see the world around me shattering once more like so many times before, but this time I feel something pulsate inside me and these fragments scatter.
Soon I open my eyes and see the chains on my body as well as the barrier around me.
Ding!
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