Will of chaos

Pov Renegade Soldier:

"Lady, you must rest."

"Please rest, your body is very weak..."

"Ahh... my arm hurts... why does it hurt so much..." (I)

My vision is very blurry and my body is weak, I don't remember much about the last few days, I know that everyone swam without rest and that I had to fight the monsters many times, all this while fighting against the current used by a great storm.

I moved relying solely on my purpose to keep civilians alive, that was the duty I placed on my shoulders when I left the battlefield to save those in need along with many others who thought like me.

I refused to sleep knowing that if I closed my eyes I might not open them again due to the many injuries I carried.

Tears

"Lady, there is no longer a... an arm to feel pain..."

Tears

"..." (I)

My vision was still weird, but my ears work, hearing what those around me said through tears I tried to use my other hand to feel my arm aching.

I tried to hold my wrist which hurt from holding my trident for so long without rest, but no matter how many times I tried to hold my wrist, I was always wrong for not seeing well.

Tears

"Lady, please rest, your wounds will open again."

Tears

"..." (I)

I could hear the voices of people around me crying, their voices filled with sadness, but I couldn't stop, the pain in my arm was bothering me so much.

I was very weak and seeing very badly so I tried to hold my shoulder before going down to the wrist where the pain was worst, a soldier's hands are of great importance during combat, I need to know more about my injuries, I have to know why does my arm hurt so much.

I grab my shoulder and start to lower the arm, but after the elbow, I lose the grip on the rest of the arm, my haste is getting in the way, and I have to grab my shoulder once more and go down more carefully to get to the arm.

Tears

"Ma'am, we're sorry... sorry... you've protected us so much, but... but we..."

Tears

"..." (I)

I went down again my hand from my shoulder to my arm, but I missed again after I passed the elbow, I am very tired and disoriented, it seems that my situation is worse than I imagined, I put my hand on the shoulder again and started to go down, this time slowly so as not to lose the arm again.

"You must rest young soldier, you fought bravely to get here escorting these people, you need to take care of yourself now."

"Listen to this Priest of the Church of healing, please lie down again Madam."

"My arm hurts, I can't rest." (I)

"But your...your arm..."

I lost my arm again after going past the elbow, so I went back to the elbow this time and slowly slid my hand.

As soon as I got past my elbow I realised, this time I couldn't lie to myself anymore, I could feel the bandage behind my elbow and I started to rip it off, so I put my hand on the jagged wound, I could feel the broken bones where they should have been be my arm.

Tears

A memory comes to my mind, a fight against a shoal of over 50 Bone Eaters, monstrous fish that have half a body like a big mouth with hundreds of sharp teeth like the best daggers, monsters that are always in shoals and only eat bones, use their teeth to shred the meat and get to the bones where their meal is.

Tears

I remember being on the front lines with many other Soldiers, Adventurers, and Warriors who, like me, fought to protect the weakest, the duty we took on ourselves was to help these people, many being children, to get to a safe place.

Tears

I remember these brave people dying around me or being hurt, I tried to help as much as possible those close to me, some I managed to help, others I didn't have time and I could only watch them die, but when I saw one of those monsters heading towards the children, I didn't have time to think, my body just moved to be between the kids and that monster, he was already ready to sink his teeth into the kids and so I dropped my weapon without thinking and held the creature's jaws open.

Tears

"Ma'am, please..."

"Let her, she needs to think, this is a lot to take in at once."

I try to remember more but I can't, I know the memory is there, somewhere in my head, and with a lot of effort replaying the last scene over and over again I remember, another monster attacked me from the side grabbing my arm it made me lose control of the monster I was holding and I was knocked away.

After that I don't remember anything else, everything was just spots based on my vision, after that only the vision of seeing an island from above was what I saw.

"The children... where are the children?" (I)

"They are fine, thanks to you and many others, most of the children were saved..."

"Most..." (I)

Tears

I couldn't save them all, I was weak again if I had paid attention on the battlefield if I had attacked instead of holding back if I had done more.

"Nothing will change like this, get out of the way..."

"Wait, she's still not..."

"Shut up, talking affectionately won't help her."

Suddenly I feel something lift me up and I'm taken to another place, I feel it's something small by the two tiny hands on my body, my vision still wasn't very good and I couldn't see well, but I saw long red hair when I looked down.

"Miss soldier..."

"The pretty lady is here..."

"You woke up..."

"Thank you for saving my little brother..."

"Thank you. Thank you very much..."

Soon I am placed on the ground where several indistinct figures surrounded me, some of them started to hug me and I could hear children's voices talking one over the other, little by little my vision improved and I realized that it was children around me.

"Don't mourn a lost arm for something that was worth it, you did more than you needed to and those were the lives that were saved so don't mourn the loss of an arm this is a world of magic there are ways to make that arm come back You idiot."

I could hear a voice that seemed to be said next to my ear, it was the same young voice of the one who carried me here, I look around and notice someone walking away, I could only see their back as they walked away, their beautiful red hair caught my attention a lot.

There was some kind of Spirit or Ghost of a young girl floating next to the red haired person, he was moving away, but his voice seemed to be carried by the wind to my ears, I could feel the person's will in the voice.

This person wasn't consoling me like the others, this person didn't feel sorry for me for the loss of my arm, this person was just showing me the result of having lost that arm, he was congratulating me on my courage.

Tears

"Thank you..." (I)