Nuke Miko: Chronicles of America

The Los Angeles Mayor's Office will present black cats bred locally in Los Angeles to Fukushima County twice a year in winter and summer.

The patron saint of Fukushima prefecture, Tritium, visits Los Angeles twice a year and presents a mushroom cloud to Los Angeles as a gift..."

Qiu Shanhui, Chen Qiuhan and others nodded their heads when they heard the words, but when they came back to their senses and thought about it, they still felt a little embarrassing.

Because Fukushima and Los Angeles have become sister cities, can Fukushima drop a hydrogen bomb on Los Angeles to show friendship?

Or that Los Angeles holds two grand celebrations every year to welcome the nuclear explosion from Japan?

This, this, this, what kind of "heart-to-heart" good sister is this?

The mere plastic flower sisters, how can they compare to the "enthusiasm" of the Mushroom Cloud sisters?

Chapter 139: Cat Fort Nuclear Paradise Project

In short, through the above-mentioned teasing operation, the theme of "nuclear explosion" in [Cat Castle Nuclear Paradise] has been preliminarily resolved.

As for how to make full use of the "pollution-free green hydrogen bomb mushroom cloud" that rises twice a year in Los Angeles, link up with the IP in the "Radiation" game, and develop related toys, clothing and other derivatives... There is no such thing on this earth. People can be more familiar than Disney.

Nuka-Cola, sunset root beer, bang-bang lizard, canned meat, pretty boy layer cake and other "wasteland delicacies", Pip-Boy radiation-proof handheld computer strong enough to knock walnuts, shelter residents It's not difficult to make the blue uniform now.

——Of course, the Nuka-Cola in the game, which can make people urinate fluorescently after drinking it, can indeed be produced, but it is a bit difficult to make people drink it without hurting their health: Considering the cost , this is basically impossible.

It is estimated that at most they can only produce some semblance of Nuka-Cola to fool customers—but presumably customers should also understand.

After all, no one in this world wants to drink soda and get radiation sickness.

In short, Megumi Akiyama couldn't help but think of groups of children, wearing the blue uniforms of the shelter, sitting happily under the Ferris wheel, stroking cats, eating stick lizards, and drinking Nuka-Cola. At the same time, I was excited to watch the cheerful scene of the mushroom cloud rising in the distance.

——If you want future generations to develop the most abundant martial arts in the world, you have to start from a baby!

In addition, although the entire Greater Los Angeles area adjacent to the Mojave Desert is scheduled to be divided into the cathedral of Buster, since it is a joint church of three gods, then apart from the cat god Buster , the God of Flying Noodles and the God of Inari must also show some sense of presence here.

Therefore, there must be a small branch of the Inari Shrine here, and Megumi Akiyama plans to let the Mexican girl Valentina take charge.

In addition, it is necessary to create a gourmet street here for the master of flying noodles, which gathers flavors of noodles from all over the world, from Italian macaroni to Korean cold noodles, from Lanzhou ramen to Chongqing small noodles, from Japanese udon noodles to Taiwanese dandan noodles , have everything that one expects to find.

Of course, outside the gate of this food street, there must be a statue of the Flying Noodle God as a symbol.

The last thing to discuss is naturally the highlight of this paradise-【Cat Castle】.

"...Since the outbreak of the evil spirit disaster in Los Angeles, the prices of pet cats all over the world have soared crazily, to the point that there is no market for them.

However, there are fewer and fewer stray cats on the street—all stray cats that are not too wild are lured home with canned food and cat strips to raise them.

Because people find that cats are not only pets, but also their own life protection. No existing security monitoring system can replace it. "

Mr. Bob Chapek, the current CEO of Disney, said with emotion, "...because the price of cats has risen too fast and the supply is far from enough, it may be difficult for us to acquire a sufficient number of cats of various colors in the short term. , to enrich this Cat Castle Nuclear Paradise..."

Hearing that the CEO of Disney regards cats as a life-saving straw in front of supernatural forces, the little witch Akiyama Hui is a little bit disapproving.

Although in the Cthulhu mythology in the United States, cats should be a lucky and powerful little life in the mysterious world, but according to her actual observation, ordinary cats cannot fight against too many evil spirits. If there are too many cats, the cats will lose the shit shovel officer and run for their lives.

Of course, having a cat is better than not having one, and Akiyama still admits this.

In addition, there are actually not that many people in the world who really need cats to drive away ghosts and keep their families safe.

——The range where evil spirits are really possible to appear today, and with the expansion of the scale of spiritual recovery, the places where evil spirits may appear in the future are only limited to the Midwest of the United States, plus the northernmost part of Mexico and southwestern Canada Just a small place.

Although this piece of land adds up to a full budget, there are millions of square kilometers, which is almost the same as the size of the whole of Europe.

However, if compared with the whole world, it is still only a corner, and the local population is far from dense, only about [-] million.

According to this calculation, the real "just-needed" market for "raising cats to drive away evil spirits" is not very small, but it is not very big.

The skyrocketing price of cats in the world market today and the imbalance between supply and demand are actually nothing more than panic consumption due to incomplete information.

And cats are animals with strong survivability and reproductive ability. As long as they are openly supplied with sufficient food and then urged to mate, so many female cats in the world will work hard to give birth to kittens one by one, and the speed will not be too high. It is not much slower than producing goods on a factory assembly line.

When the reconstruction project of this Los Angeles Disneyland is completed and it really becomes [Cat Castle Nuclear Park], the price of cats should also come down.

As for before that, it is entirely possible for the cat god Buster to summon the stray cats in the ruins of Los Angeles by himself!

At most, the number is less, and the quality is not good, but it will not make the whole paradise empty without a cat.

However, Bob Chapek's idea is even more daring than Megumi Akiyama's idea of ​​​​waiting for cats to oversupply and cat prices to fall.

——That is to let the shit-shoveling officers consciously and actively send the cats!Crowdfunding cat cat show!Open another "holy cat training course"!

"...Since this castle will be transformed into the palace of the cat god Buster, then everyone in this world who loves cats will naturally bring their pet cats to come here to pay tribute to Goddess Buster and worship her. duty of the gods.

Then, the cat show we hold in [Cat Castle Nuclear Paradise] will also have the highest authority in the world!

——Compared with the pedigree certificates that humans fiddled with, the evaluation of the cat goddess Buster must be more correct!

In addition, Goddess Bast can also give blessings to pilgrims and pilgrims' cats like Buddhist monks (the cat's paws are pressed on the head), and even let the cats sent by passengers participate in a paid training camp. In the temple, cat gods and cat god priests were trained to exorcise evil spirits.

By then, wouldn't the paradise be bustling with noise? "

Bob Chapek said with a smile on his face, "...Besides, the current economic situation of the entire country is really very, very unsatisfactory, and the security situation in the states is also relatively poor, just relying on some new tricks , I am afraid it will be difficult to attract enough tourists to spend.

We must make the Cat Goddess truly a religion before it is possible to develop a sufficient scale of Hajj economy and industrial chain.

Tourists come to have fun and have high requirements for infrastructure; while pilgrims come to find spiritual sustenance and can overcome hardships.Just as Europe was so poor in the Middle Ages, there were still countless devout Christians who would go bankrupt and make a pilgrimage to Jerusalem. "

sex

After listening to Disney CEO Bob Chapek's explanation, Megumi Akiyama, Qiuhan Chen and others nodded their approval.

Indeed, although the gimmick of "True God" is very eye-catching, it will definitely attract countless fans, or at least arouse widespread curiosity among the public.

But the problem is, given the current state of social depression, disordered law and order, and economic downturn in the United States, without the inspiration of religious beliefs and the huge attraction of interests, it may be difficult for ordinary people who are already heavily in debt to spend money to come to Disneyland in Los Angeles Paradise/Cat Castle Nuclear Park to travel.

——Currently, one-third of the families in the United States already have negative assets, that is, they are living beyond their means and are insolvent.

In other words, even if you are penniless and poor enough to sleep on the street, you are already richer than one-third of Americans.

Although the European and American propaganda media package this lifestyle as "advanced consumption", a "negative man" is a "negative man".

Among the remaining two-thirds of American families, half of them have basically no savings, and they are so embarrassed that they can't even come up with 400 US dollars.

And the last one-third of Americans with some money in their pockets are mostly reluctant to die. With the "Corona" epidemic still raging everywhere, and the special medicine and vaccine have not yet come out, they would rather stay at home than not Willing to take his life as a bet and go out for a while.

This is also the core reason why the United States has lifted the blockade measures for epidemic prevention and isolation, but the business of all major amusement parks is still bleak.

——The poor who want to have fun have no money to play, and the rich who have money to play dare not go out to play. How can the business of the amusement park be good?

Of course, after the epidemic is over, everything will definitely recover.But now...

Only by turning tourism into a pilgrimage, and turning tourists looking for fun into pilgrims who pilgrimage to the gods, can we ensure the source of customers for [Cat Castle Nuclear Paradise]!

But the problem is that the Cat God Buster and the Order of Faces, not God and the Catholic Church, have no long-term missionary indoctrination as accumulation.

If you want believers to travel thousands of miles to come here, you have to show real benefits.

"...the current concern of the entire United States, and even the entire world, is nothing more than the COVID-19 virus.

Leaving aside those patients who were dying, even those who had recovered, more or less left behind sequelae that made them miserable. "

Bob Chapek rubbed his hands excitedly and said, "...I heard that you have a spell that can perfectly treat this infectious disease. The Centers for Disease Control, the White House, Capitol Hill, and even the Pentagon are all very interested-these days have passed. Months, but hundreds of generals died!

So, can you use this healing technique as a special item of [Cat Castle Nuclear Paradise]? "

"...This... I'm afraid it's a bit troublesome." Qiu Shanhui showed embarrassment, "...God magic should not be abused!"

——It's not that Akiyama Hui is reluctant to save people and wants to sell them for a price, but that she really can't save too many people.

At least she can't do it now.

In the current [Mianmen Cult], as the main god, the "Flying Noodle Master", because of "cooking does not matter (the Lord doesn't care)", there is no healing technique—unless you can become the Flying Noodle God , then there is a high probability that you can get the gift of "full blood bar" once.

But even the best choice of flying noodles is not invulnerable to all diseases. If you are infected with the COVID-19 virus later, if you are unlucky, you will still fall ill.

The remaining ancient fox gods and cat gods don't actually have medical expertise, so they can only barely restore people's health.

Lord Fox God’s method is to guide spiritual energy into the human body to cleanse people’s essence... But introducing Qi into the body does not guarantee success every time, and it varies from person to person. If it is a severely ill patient with a weak body, it is likely that he will not be able to survive. He died violently by the end of the course of treatment.

As for the talisman to exorcise diseases and evil spirits, it cannot be produced at all due to insufficient power of faith at present, so we can only wait until the shrine is built.

The method of the cat god Buster is a bit simpler. By giving the believers [Baster's Blessing], all diseases will be cured.

But the problem is, if you meet those who have abused cats, or people who hate cats very much, then the blessing will become a curse.

This kind of curse is not a painless hair loss or the like, but a sudden death at the slightest, or the soul will be turned into a cat toy in the worst case!

Of course, this is not a big problem, after all, there are very few people in this world who like to abuse cats.

And, as long as it is explained in advance, most of those who abuse cats will not come to [Cat Castle Nuclear Paradise] to seek their own death.

——In this world, there shouldn't be that dead fool who wants to have sex with God, right?

Even if a cat abuser really came to Buster to touch porcelain, it would be nothing more than pretending to be dead and turning into real death, or life would be worse than death.

—— Regardless of the personality of the gods, just by stacking buffs, on the ground in California, who does the black cat goddess Buster need to be afraid of?

But the next problem is that the power of faith of the three great gods is very scarce now, and they are not enough to continuously wholesale magic spells and be the saviors of the world.

【Buster's Blessing】Originally it took two days to shoot one shot, but now that it has become famous, it has only become two blessings a day.

"...There is no problem at all! As long as one or two lucky tourists can be cured every day, it will be a gimmick enough to cause a sensation in the world!"

Hearing Hui Akiyama's evasion saying that there is not enough power and the number of blessings is limited, Bob Chapek still said with a relaxed expression, "... [Cat Castle Nucleus Paradise] can organize a lucky draw every day, and give it to a lucky tourist who wins the lottery Provide an opportunity to obtain [Buster's Blessing]—of course, it is best to allow the transfer of blessings. In this way, there will be an endless stream of tourists who come to visit [Cat Castle]."

"...But in this way, all the tourists who rush to California will go to worship the cat god Buster. What about the Inari Shrine I'm planning to build?"

Akiyama Hui said worriedly, "...Maybe Flying Face God doesn't care too much about worldly incense, but my lord can't stand being deserted..."

Previously, the three gods had just divided their territories. Buster, the cat god who likes the desert climate, occupied Los Angeles and turned it into the "City of Cats".

Chen Qiuhan, the god of flying noodles, will go to San Francisco to build a church (noodle shop) - not only the founder of flying noodles, but also the burial place of Bobby Henderson after his death, which is equivalent to the church of flying noodles The "Holy Sepulcher" is also the place with the most Chinese and atheists in the United States.

Because of the absurd background of FSM, it is essentially a kind of alienated atheism, so it caters more to the high-tech atmosphere of Silicon Valley elites.

The local ethnic composition is also more conducive to Chen Qiuhan's integration - at least he currently thinks so.

Megumi Akiyama is planning to go to Sacramento, the capital of California, the main rice producing area, to establish the head office of the North American Inari Shrine in the local suburbs.

——It has to be said that Sacramento, the so-called capital, is far behind San Francisco and Los Angeles in terms of popularity, population and economic scale.But the problem is that when the ancient fox god heard that Sacramento was the capital, he insisted that Hui Akiyama put the shrine here.

No way, relying on her path dependence as Empress Daji, Indian Crown Princess and Japanese Empress, this ancient nine-tailed white fox always involuntarily wants to sit in the capital, enter and leave the court, and get close to the circle of power—if she stays in a remote place In the countryside, you can't be the beauty of the country!

In her opinion, even if the aura in Washington is not revived, it is really impossible to go to the White House, at least they should stay in the "capital" of California, right?

Although port ports like San Francisco and Los Angeles are prosperous and prosperous, they are far from the center of power, and feel very unreliable...

Well, her idea is not completely wrong, but with the development of modern communication means, the real "court" may not be in the capital!

For example, Wang Wang, who is currently the president, often plays "remote control" at Mar-a-Lago in Florida because he doesn't trust the White House bureaucrats.

Megumi Akiyama is a little speechless about the erroneous and outdated concept of the ancient fox god not understanding the game of political power in the United States, but on the other hand, it is really unreasonable to build the Inari Shrine in a place where rice is not grown... So, Megumi Akiyama Nor did he correct Lord Fox God's thoughts.

In any case, Sacramento is also the fifth largest city in California, with a population of 50 (in China, it is the size of a county. You can see which provincial capital in the country has only 50 people), and it should be more than enough to support a luxurious shrine. .

If he can successfully take root in Sacramento, Akiyama Megumi feels that such a prospect should be good.

But this does not mean that Megumi Akiyama is willing to see all the pilgrims of the [Mian Mian Cult] go to worship the cat god Buster, but leave behind their own shrine.

"...This... is not a big problem, we can have a [sacred land cruise package]. Combining the cat castle in Los Angeles, the Flying Noodle Church in San Francisco and the Japanese shrine in Sacramento, these three religious places are combined to sell packages Tickets, organize tourists to visit three places at once.”

Bob Chapek thought for a while and added, "...it's normal to go on a pilgrimage to a few more holy places.

Not to mention the pilgrimage to seek medical treatment - we can stipulate that only tourists who have checked in to the three holy places can participate in the lottery. "

Uh, this is a good idea. To run a religion, you have to look like a religion!

Megumi Akiyama nodded upon hearing the words - going on pilgrimage when sick is actually a European tradition, and it can be carried forward in the new era.

In the dark Middle Ages when medicine was backward and ignorant and superstitious, many Christians never thought of finding a doctor when they got sick. They either invited priests to chant scriptures to exorcise evil spirits, or went to Rome or Jerusalem on a pilgrimage to pray to God and anointed with holy oil. It is enough to cure all diseases.

At that time, the Roman Church also highly praised this kind of superstitious practice in order to make money and gain prestige, and even said nonsense that "a dysentery patient only needs to take a pinch of soil from the Holy Sepulcher in Jerusalem to recover", "a patient with an inflamed tongue can only recover." One needs to lick the handrail of the temple to be healed"...

Compared with the above-mentioned purely deceptive nonsense, the Mianmian Cult is really showing its holiness, and it is already very conscientious to be able to save a few people.

"...Of course, in order to facilitate unified management, can the Flying Noodle Church in San Francisco and the shrine in Sacramento be handed over to us for construction and operation by Walt Disney Company? Please rest assured that we must respect the gods to the greatest extent Wish, will never let you embarrass..."

Immediately, Bob Chapek showed his true purpose - to bind the three gods more closely with Disney!

However, Akiyama Megumi, Chen Qiuhan and the others are not disgusted by this—who in this world can compare to Disney with the concept of magic to deceive children?

It is better to have such a professional team to represent and assist them than half-laymen like themselves, tossing around without thinking.

In this way, the two parties had a good talk and finalized a comprehensive cooperation agreement. "Mian Mian Jiao Tuan" granted Disney the right to use its own IP, and Disney promised to transform "Mian Mian Mian Mian Ji Tuan" from a salon club to a club as soon as possible. A truly eminent religion.

Speaking of this step, the tasks of Akiyama Megumi and others in Los Angeles have all been completed.