Nuke Miko: Chronicles of America

Just like the "Motherlander" in "Black Robe Pickets", the name is superhero, but he is actually an Internet celebrity idol, thinking every day is not about saving the world, but about gaining fame on the catwalk.As a religious person, the little witch Akiyama Megumi is currently also a variant of the Internet celebrity idol, and traffic is also king.

Even with a hydrogen bomb nearby, she must appear in front of the camera from time to time and maintain a certain degree of popularity in order to be popular everywhere.

So, even though the shrine was founded and there were a lot of trivial matters, she still managed to squeeze out time to film supernatural lectures and put them on the Internet to gain popularity.

At this moment, Megumi Qiushan found a family with WIFI to surf the Internet, and conducted a live broadcast of her personal supernatural program "Into the Mystery" in front of the camera.

Because today's content will be posted on station B through the relationship drawn by Ma Tong, so the topic is how to "refine" lightning strike wood.

"...As we all know, the application of electricity is a milestone achievement in the history of human civilization.

Since the advent of electricity, everyone's daily life has undergone tremendous changes from those of their ancestors.

Ohm, Amp, Volt, Coulomb, Joule, Hertz, Maxwell, Siemens, Weber, Farad, Tesla.

When you see these electrical units in textbooks, please remember that behind each unit stands the figure of a giant of science..."

In front of the camera, Megumi Akiyama was wearing a red and white shrine maiden costume, sitting upright, but saying something that had nothing to do with feudal superstition.

Just when netizens were confused about when this witch would switch to science popularization, Megumi Akiyama suddenly changed the topic and turned to her own job, "...but what many people don't know is that she is completely repelled by the misunderstanding of the magic world. The electrified "Harry Potter" is different. In the field of mysticism, electricity also has a very important meaning. The production of many magic props cannot be separated from the tempering of electricity..."

She pointed to the pile of bald cedar trees that had just been felled behind her, a common tree species in the wetlands along the Gulf of Mexico, and declared, "...Now, please follow my spell, walk into the mystery, and take a look at the How is the lightning strike wood, the basic consumable for spells, made..."

——The so-called [Lightning Strike Wood] refers to trees that have been struck by lightning.Generally speaking, after a tree is struck by lightning, its surface will be scorched and carbonized, and its interior will show beautiful patterns. The ancients regarded it as a precious thing, believing that it contains the power of lightning and has the effect of exorcising evil spirits.

In the eyes of ancient Chinese Taoists, the lightning strike wood is the essence of the combination of the yin and yang of heaven and earth, and the essence of communication between heaven and earth - through lightning strikes, the energy of lightning and lightning is concentrated in the wood. Therefore, if the lightning strike wood is made into a magic weapon, such as wooden beads and wooden swords Waiting, it will be able to assist Taoism cultivation, and doing things will be more effective.

As for ordinary people in ancient times, although they did not understand the profound and obscure Daoist scriptures, because human beings generally fear the power of thunder (every ancient civilization has a thunder god), they also believed that the wood after the lightning strike had the luck of the gods and wore it on their bodies. It can ward off evil spirits and bring auspiciousness and good luck...

The above-mentioned traditional culture has developed to modern times, and it has been made of lightning-struck wood for pendants and hand-stringed wooden beads. Tourist attractions are full of cheap tourist souvenirs of black lacquered lightning strike wood.

This is really a puzzling thing: How is the legendary lightning strike wood produced in batches?

——How can there be so many trees with bad luck for eighteen lifetimes that are struck by lightning every year, and they still have to be burned?

The truth is, there are people who have perfected spells for the sake of supernatural powers.In order to control the traces of electric burns, someone carefully studied the "High Voltage Safety Operation Regulations".

Those fascinating electric scorching marks on the wood did not come from the nine heavens responding to the thunder and universalizing Tianzun, but the real author was Faraday.

——The more conscientious approach is to bury a lightning rod in the wood, and then place the wood on the top of the mountain, waiting for the rain to trigger thunder: According to practical tests, the sharp discharge is obviously more likely to attract the killing spirit of Thor than any evil spirit .

But this method is still dependent on the sky after all, the output is unstable, the quality is even more unstable, and it is not safe-it is easy to cause wildfires.

Therefore, the most mainstream method is to use saturated salt water or soda water as the medium, and apply it on the surface of the wood as a resistive conductor.

Then connect high-voltage electricity to both ends of the wood, and the conductor will heat and burn the surface of the wood. Due to the irregular resistance of the surface, electricity will always find a path with less resistance, so it will burn along the wood grain and burn to the surroundings at the same time.

With the flashing electric sparks and scorched smoke, the surface of the wood will slowly "grow" scorched black patterns like plant branches.

After years of development, this kind of craftsmanship has even been able to rely on the uncanny workmanship of science and technology to design the pattern of thunder marks according to customer needs.

In Henan Province in recent years, some power plant employees used high-voltage wires to steal electricity and set off lightning to chop trees. The reason for people, of course, is not forging lightning strike wood, but these electric mice stole electricity.

And they are not stealing electricity to a general extent. The amount of coal consumed by the power plant is completely incompatible with the amount of electricity sent out. In order to reduce consumption and increase efficiency, the superior leader sent experts to check and verify, so the matter was brought to light. ...

Thanks to the efforts of these electric mice, the shipment of lightning wood in Asia has increased by 270%, and the price of lightning wood has been suppressed by more than 30%.

In short, it is entirely by the advancement of science that it is possible for scenic spots in various places to sell millions of lightning strike wood ornaments to tourists every year.

As a priestess who serves the Fox God, Megumi Akiyama's method of "refining" lightning strike wood is naturally not as simple as holding two electrodes up and making gestures.

After talking nonsense to the camera, she took out Lan Yingying's [Tritium] from the sleeve of the maiden uniform, and then pulled out the samurai sword at her waist with the other hand, which was attached to the sharkskin scabbard. , pointed lightly at the pile of fir trees, and immediately a string of bright lightning bolts struck the fir trees, blowing up the tree trunks that had not been peeled off, making a chaotic sound of "crackling" and curling green smoke. rise up...

After the lightning died down, the smoke and dust cleared, and the little witch Akiyama received her magical powers, the pile of logs had been blown to pieces by the lightning.

She turned around and gestured, and Dolores and a few local farmers who came to help went up to pick up the electric shock wood.

At the same time, on the live video of station B, there was an overwhelming barrage of complaints.

[Huang Beibei]:? ? ?Unarmed mine?Is she a female Lei Gong?

[Hibernate Phoenix]: Thunder God?Lei Gong is a younger brother in front of her!

[Crow]: Yes, the god of nuclear explosions is hidden in her sleeve as a pet, and she comes with a mushroom cloud background when she goes out!I don't know how high this is.

[The Botanist in the Basement]: The mushroom cloud background is well received!It would be even better if the BGM of "The Divine Comedy" is added!

[Huang Beibei]: This video should indeed be accompanied by "The Divine Comedy of Drawing the Sword", no matter from which angle you look at it, it is very suitable.

Next, Megumi Akiyama picked out some small pieces of wood with beautiful patterns from the lightning strike wood, cast a spell to dry the water with spiritual power, and then whittled them into irregularly shaped small wooden boards, punched holes and put on some special hair mixed with them. The rope becomes an ema (white board shape) sold at Qingqiu Shrine.

As for the larger pieces of lightning strike wood, the surface was cleaned, the carbon ash on the surface was removed, and they were cut into the shape of wooden swords.

When Akiyama Hui was busy leading a group of girls carrying bags to do carpentry, the live barrage continued to discuss.

[Round-faced Fat Fish]: I just searched for the making video of this kind of lightning strike wood, it seems quite fun!

And the process doesn't seem to be complicated, just apply a layer of soda water on the wooden board, and then poke two electrodes on it and it's done.

[Phoenix in Hibernation]: How about someday I also make a piece of lightning strike wood to ward off evil spirits?

[Handcraft expert Wang Dahammer]: As far as your poor craftsmanship is concerned, don't try it at home!I saw other people making this thing in a small workshop - when making lightning strike wood, it needs thousands of volts of voltage. You don't have such good protection measures at home, and you may die if you accidentally get an electric shock!

[Hibernate Phoenix]: Thousands of volts?Wouldn't it be necessary to prepare a transformer?It's really troublesome, so let's forget it?

However, this lightning-struck fir... can it be used?This Japanese little witch looks very rich and powerful, why use this kind of wood?

[Botanist in the basement]: Oh?Is there any significance here?

[Phoenix in Hibernation]: Of course there is something special!The best lightning strike wood must be jujube wood.

The Taoist book "All Laws Returning to the Sect" lists Thunderbolt jujube as the first holy wood for making magic tools. It has the luck of the gods. Wearing it on the body can pray for sunshine and rain, control the three realms, summon ghosts and gods, and kill demons. Eliminate evil spirits, refine souls of the dead, send out wild ghosts, seal green talismans, and protect the body from the town house.

The second-class lightning strike wood is pagoda tree. It is said that if the pagoda tree is often struck by lightning, it will become a dryad, so it can also be used to make utensils.

The lightning strike wood again is peach wood. The peach wood swords used by Taoist priests to catch ghosts in the stories of Liaozhai should be made of lightning strike peach wood in theory.

Even if it is the worst lightning-struck wood, it must be at least the grade of poplar... What use can this lightning-struck Chinese fir be?

[Yaoya]: What you said are all Asian rules, but now they are staying in North America, so naturally they have to follow the Romans...

[Huang Beibei]: Besides, it doesn't matter whether lightning strikes fir trees are useful or not, and those ancient books don't count.

[The botanist in the basement]: Only the nuke witch can have the final say, and she obviously has the ability to turn waste into treasure...

——Behind the camera lens, Akiyama Megumi picked up a wooden sword made of lightning-struck fir and poured a ray of spiritual power into it, making it shine like the sun in an instant.

After tempering and enchanting, the light on the sword dissipated, and Akiyama Megumi threw it into Dolores' hands.

Dolores picked up the wooden sword and gestured a few times, then randomly slashed at the pond not far away. Immediately, a thick bolt of lightning shot out from the top of the wooden sword, blasting violently into the water, blasting a cloud of water mist... After the water splashed down, the water surface was already full of fish with white bellies.

There was an uproar in the live barrage.

[Round-faced Fat Fish]: Nine Heavens Profound Brake, turned into a divine thunder, radiant with the power of heaven, lead it with a sword!so cool!

[Canda Duck]: Really good!Much better than Harry Potter's wand!Can this wooden sword be purchased online?How much does it cost?

[Botanist in the basement]: What did you buy this thing for?You are not in the United States, and this thing is useless if it leaves North America.

[Ada Duck]: I am not in the United States, but I am in Vancouver, Canada, and the school has been haunted every day recently...

[The botanist in the basement]: Well, I retract the foreword, it seems that we all need to buy something to ward off evil spirits.

[Huang Beibei]: (*?▽?*) What did the witch take out?A palm-sized fox doll?

Oh, it turned out to be a living little fox!So cute and slender!

[Handcraft expert Wang Dahammer]: But why did she take out the inkstone and grind the ink again?I seem to have an ominous premonition!

[Achievable Duck]: Oh my God!She even dipped a fox's tail in ink to write!Use a live fox as a brush!

[Huang Beibei]: This seems to be cruelty to small animals, right?Isn't she afraid that the little animal protection will make trouble?

[Handcraft expert Wang Dahammer]: It is said that the United States has no protection for human beings, and the plague has died in patches. Does anyone still care about small animals?

[Hibernate Phoenix]: And this is not an animal at all, but a Japanese monster called [Guanhu], which was originally used as a brush!

——After testing the newly made wooden sword, Akiyama Megumi took out another small chip of lightning strike wood, summoned [Guanhu] dipped in ink and began to draw inscriptions and make painted horses.After the painting was finished, she instilled spiritual power, and then handed over the painted horse to Dolores' sister Chana.

Next, Megumi Akiyama summoned the female ghost Betty and told her to try to get close to Chana who was holding an ema.

As a result, a small electric spark shot out from the Ema immediately, scaring the female ghost Betty to fly backwards for a long distance.

And the comments on the bullet screen have been slanted to a more off-topic direction.

[80 SEAL Chief Instructor]: Even Ema can release palm thunder!awesome!I just don't know what attribute this thunder should be considered?

[Phoenix in Hibernation]: Uh, nuclear power belongs to gold according to the five elements, so what should be emitted should be Gengjin Shenlei?

[The botanist in the basement]: No, no, ordinary nuclear power plants rely on nuclear fission to obtain energy, and nuclear fuel rods use uranium or plutonium, so the five elements belong to gold.

The [Tritium] of this nuclear explosion witch is a nuclear fusion spirit, and the raw material comes from water, so the five elements belong to water, so it should be a sunflower water god thunder!

[Canda Duck]: Is it necessary to distinguish so clearly?Don't we have to inquire beforehand when we buy a lightning strike wood amulet to ward off evil spirits, what kind of electricity is the lightning strike wood?

Hacked with fire?Hacked with electricity?Hacked by wind power?Or was it hacked by nuclear power?

[Huang Beibei]: Hey, this episode of the supernatural show is over again. Compared with the previous nuclear explosion in Los Angeles and nuclear explosion of crayfish, it is really boring.

[80 Seal Chief Instructor]: Even the construction record of the Qingqiu Shrine in the last issue "Building Qingqiu with a Supernatural Work" is much better than this.

[Hibernate Phoenix]: Indeed, the quality of the recent programs has declined, probably because there have been no big scenes recently...

Wait, what's up with this next show preview?San Diego aircraft carrier haunted incident?The little witch is going back to California again?

[Botanist in the basement]: Aircraft carrier? ! !

When the barrage comment area was turned upside down, Kei Akiyama in front of the camera was still calm and said with a gentle smile of Yamato Nadeko:

"...Why did the Pentecostal captain go crazy in public? Why do naval officers and soldiers commit suicide frequently?

Why was a Coast Guard patrol boat hacked?The aircraft carrier in the San Diego Naval Harbor is crying every night. Who did it?

What is hidden in those indescribable ravings in the radio waves?

Behind all this, is the distortion of human nature?Or moral decay?

Please follow in the footsteps of the film crew of "Into the Mystery" and pay attention to this Miko's trip to San Diego. See you in the next episode! "

PS: In the latest theatrical version of Detective Conan, the prisoner actually buried a box of jewelry in the old house, and the entire village was submerged by the newly built reservoir during his imprisonment. treasure.

In the end, although the prisoner was arrested, the dam was blown up—the reconstruction cost of such a dam might not be enough for a hundred boxes of jewels, right?

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