There is Room for Rebirth in the 1950’s

Lin Lishan sat down with Zhang's mother unconsciously, looked at the daughter in front of her, moved to Zhou Jiao's side, looked at her face, saw that her daughter was not in danger, moved away again, next to Zhang's mother He watched her keep moving forward without saying a word, and looked at her son Zhang Guoqing.

Seeing his mother looking forward to him, Zhang Guoqing shook his head slightly. It's not easy for him to come forward, and he also wants to see what Zhou Jiao thinks. Some things can't be concluded by relying on a few letters and a few words of analysis. Many relationships rely on fate and cannot be forced. He respects his lover's attitude and feels sorry for her difficulty. The two generations of Zhou Jiao have suffered a lot in childhood and suffered a lot of grievances. The love of her parents is a luxury for her. In her previous life, she was not discouraged about her parents at the beginning, and it was only later that she became discouraged. Father's love and mother's love are too difficult for her to obtain. She often says that she belongs to her parents and has no relationship with her six relatives.

Lin Lishan plucked up her courage, stretched out trembling hands and gently stroked her daughter's skinny palm, tears dripped on it, took a deep breath, looked up at her, looked at her daughter's sallow complexion, endured the pain and tears Asked her softly: Jiaojiao, mother's Jiaojiao, you are so old, mother didn't even come to see you, and made you feel wronged, mother is sorry for you, it's all mother's fault, mother shouldn't have given birth to you, Letting you have a mother is the same as not having a mother. Your mother shouldn't be. If your father sees you like this, he will feel distressed. What face do I have to see your father? Jiaojiao, you must hate your mother in your heart, right?

It's all mother's fault. She didn't take good care of you and made you suffer so much at a young age. How could they treat my daughter like this? They all say that you are fine, is this good? How can they treat you like this? It's all because mom is stupid, it's all because mom didn't come to see you, if mom came to see you, they wouldn't dare. My Jiaojiao, mother is sorry for you, she shouldn't have listened to your grandpa, their old Zhou family is not human, neither is human. Even if you hate your mother, your mother doesn't blame you. It's all my mother's fault. It's my mother's fault. It's all my fault. Why are you looking for your father, why are you looking for him, even the only daughter will not survive. Why didn't I try to come and see you, even if it was just a glance, it's better than seeing it with my own eyes, it won't make you suffer so much. After finishing speaking, Lin Lishan bowed her head and howled loudly.

Zhou Jiao sighed, did she dare to hate, the tears almost flooded the main room. I don't know how she survived when the news came out that his father died, and it's no wonder he couldn't raise her. Just this cautious, long-term Ai Ai who didn't know thought she was a daughter.

Zhou Jiao patted Lin Lishan lightly, took the handkerchief Zhang Guoqing handed over, wiped her face, looked at her with her head down, still crying, and sighed, she was too straightforward as a mother, and her feelings were so frightening. Rich, with many tears, I am afraid that she is sad and sentimental, which is different. I'm even more afraid that she won't understand if she is more euphemistic, and she will think wrong, Don't cry first, listen to me carefully, I really don't blame you now, even I didn't hate you before, let alone now. Didn’t come to see me, did I eat or wear clothes? You gave birth to me, raised me, and I still hate you, so what have I become? The hardships I have suffered, the sins I have suffered, It wasn't caused by you. Maybe you would say that it would have been better if the Zhou family hadn't been raised. But things are already like this. I'm married and even have children. Let's think about the better.

Speaking of blaming you, when I was young, before I was ten years old, I blamed you. In the Zhou family, they all said that you don’t want me anymore, because I killed my father, and even my grandparents didn’t refute it. I blame you . In the days without a mother, I don't care about food and clothing, but when I see others being protected by their mothers, acting like a baby, I blame you. At that time, I really missed you, even if I didn't eat or wear clothes by your side also. Even if you hate me for killing my dad, I will be obedient, even if you hit me, I will be obedient and not make you angry, because I have no relatives, only you are my dearest in the world, I am gone Dad, there is only Mom. I think when I grow up, get older and learn more skills, I can go to you and tell you that I can support myself without you sending money to support me. I just want to be with you, because I really There are no relatives left, only you.

After finally growing up to 10 years old, the Zhou family has become unbearable for me. Apart from missing you, I can see through their mouths. I have learned a lot by myself. I learned it secretly, learned to see a doctor, learned to embroider. These are all skills to make money. I think I can go to you. you. When the call is finally connected, I will be very excited. I feel that I am really good and I can see you soon, but you refused on the phone, you said you can't take care of me, let me wait, Be obedient and obedient in my hometown, you must come back to pick me up. Listening to your cold voice, refusing me to come to you, my heart was cold and my whole body was numb. I bit my fingers and understood a truth. I can only protect myself. I really have no relatives.

I have received your letter for six full years, and I have never even opened it. They are wearing new clothes and trousers. I know it's all your money, but I don't care. I just want to learn something quickly, grow up quickly, and leave Zhou's house quickly. After two years, I read a lot, got in touch with the society, and learned a lot, so I can calculate the date. I was born 40 years ago, and it would be the darkness before dawn. It is justifiable to keep me in my hometown. But when I'm ten years old, I just happen to be liberated. Then if you refuse me to go back, do you give up on me, or is there something unspeakable? But if it were me, I would do everything possible to see my child, even if there are knives in the world. But I can't get the result.

hate it? I don't hate, I don't like to complain or hate others, it will make me too tired. I told myself that it’s good to be alone, you don’t need to be sad for others, you don’t need to worry about others, when you become an adult, you can live as you want, no one cares about me, I love myself, no one cares about me, I value myself. After a few years, I got married, got married, and you didn't show up, and I didn't have any expectations. I just wanted to live a good life and live a good life.

When I heard Xiao Wuge's voice in the delivery room, I thought of my dad and you. I wondered how you felt when you gave birth to me? Why don't you miss your only daughter after experiencing the pain of having a child? Even if you meet and take a look, it's better than sending something over.

Thinking of the money sent every year and every month, I heard that you didn't remarry and I had only one child. But why don't you just come and see me? Even if we met once, even my grandma Lin's family didn't see anyone, so my dad must have one or two friends, and I haven't met either. I don't usually pay attention to these things, but it's not normal to think about them carefully. Later I opened the well-preserved letters, the 30 or so letters that hadn’t been opened in six or seven years, maybe I couldn’t understand many things when I was ten years old, but now I see that you have been looking for my dad, look Looking at each different mailing address, and looking at the date, I think that even if I go to your side, I will not be able to wander around with you, and I feel better. For me, even if you never put me at ease, but you love my dad, that's enough. If you do remarry, no matter the reason, betrayal is betrayal. You can guard my dad, I feel much better.

The other day, Xiaowu went to announce the good news to his grandparents, and found a lot of things wrong, so he forced to return the addresses of several members of the Lin family, planning to send back some special products as a thank you gift, and by the way, told them not to send things in the future. Some unpleasant things happened during the period, and I brought back several empty envelopes from the Lin family. When he came back, he said, we were analyzing and pondering, and we realized that grandpa and the others kept telling me that you abandoned me to some extent. After knowing some facts, I have been feeling angry in my heart for the past two days, and I also let it out today, and I am not angry anymore.

Don't cry, I really never hated you, you not only gave birth to me, I also survived with the money you sent every month, you didn't come to look for me, didn't you always look for my dad? So don't be sad, I really don't blame you, I can understand that my dad is too important to you, and finding him has become your only obsession.

Lin Lishan hugged her tightly before she finished speaking, weeping silently, and touched the top of her daughter's hair. For a while, I didn't know how to express my distress.

Tears fell on Zhou Jiao's neck, and Zhou Jiao's heart was so hot that it tightened and tightened, making her feel sore. Deep down in her heart, she still yearns for maternal love, otherwise, where did her sadness and joy come from? Woolen cloth. Whether it's her, or the original Zhou Jiao, she should choose to forgive. She hopes that her father will have a home waiting for him when he returns. She believes in her instincts, and her mother also has her in her heart.