The World I Was Supporting Was Real

Episode 29. Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump

“Lady Rinasita. Please wake up.”

Eirene, who had been trying to sleep to the sound of rain hitting the window, was suddenly shaken awake by Lee Gun.

“Ugh…”

As she opened her eyes to the gradually audible voice of Lee Gun, his expression was very serious.

“What’s going on…?”

“I think I have to leave far away.”

“……What?”

“I heard something unusual at the cathedral today.”

This is what Eagon’s story summarized to:

It seemed that the rebel soldiers were planning to search every single house in the outskirts soon.

So far, the inside of the imperial city was too chaotic to conduct a proper search operation, but it seemed like they were starting to look for the escaped prisoners in earnest.

‘Looking for prisoners……’

Surely, that would include searching for the missing emperor.

“So, I think we need to get out of this castle for now. This way-“

“Wait.”

Eirene said that and shook off Eagon’s outstretched hand.

“Lady Rinasita……?”

“That… that’s.”

Of all times.

At this very moment, one of the rules that had bound her all her life flashed through her mind.

―Never trust others recklessly.

The path of the emperor that Eirene had walked was a path of survival where if you didn’t deceive, you would be deceived. Even if legitimacy and justification had helped her, she was just a woman with no foundation who had taken over the position due to the sudden death of the previous emperor.

Most of the vassals did not want to acknowledge her, who had become emperor by luck, and they did not hide their movements to form their own factions by sticking close to the young princesses and princes.

When she first ascended the throne, she was foolishly deceived. There were times when she was mocked to the point where the name of the emperor did not suit her due to the nobles’ flashy rhetoric.

She decided. To kill the heart of the dreamy girl who spent time with tea parties in the beautifully decorated imperial castle like a birdcage.

Several subsequent purges. Never recklessly staining her hands with blood, but mercilessly dealing with those who were certain to be aiming for her neck.

The purpose was one. To strengthen the imperial power as much as possible so that the first princess, who would become the next emperor, could govern in a somewhat stable situation.

A saint appeared in the religious world, and the external magic was getting stronger, with monsters trying to raise their heads again.

In such a situation, if the political situation was unstable, as always, the Ainsberg imperial family would be annihilated and a new empire would be established by a new family.

I can never be remembered in history as the person who ruined the imperial family in my generation—with only that in mind, she doubted and doubted people.

Recently, she thought she could finally enjoy the fruits of a stable foundation, but a rebellion broke out.

By the hands of the trusted general and the nephew she had raised.

Contrary to the expectation that it would be quickly suppressed, she continued to rely on others and hide.

In this situation… Is it the right choice to trust this man and go outside?

What if all the good things he had done for me so far were for this moment, and he actually knew I was the emperor and planned to sell me out, or…

“What is it…?”

“…….”

Eirene was a person with a sense of propriety. She knew that telling someone who had helped her in every possible way, “I can’t follow you because I don’t trust your words,” was nothing more than childish behavior.

Of course, if she were a lively and young woman, such childishness might be forgiven.

But isn’t it ridiculous? A 36-year-old grown woman acting childishly towards a man!

Moreover, there was a high probability that he was younger than her. Regardless of social status, she couldn’t possibly reveal her inner thoughts.

Especially if it was a man who had started to catch her attention.

Yes.

Unable to rely on anyone… I was now even doubting the man who was helping me out of pure goodwill.

―What am I doing here?

In the end, is the fate of an emperor dethroned by her nephew to be unable to make a single important decision without trusting anyone?

Her body trembled. Eirene realized. I can’t give any answer.

I can’t say I don’t trust you, nor can I say I trust you…

Igeon, who had been silent all this time…

“Ah…!”

Grabbed Eirene’s trembling hand.

“You’re doubting me, aren’t you?”

Eirene was started and looked at Igeon with wide eyes.

His eyes…were warm. They were not eyes that reproached me. They were eyes that gently swept over me.

“The more a person has been hurt, the less they trust others. You said it on the first day, didn’t you? That you don’t trust people. Wasn’t it because you got hurt by trusting someone and tried to “Protect yourself?”

“Igeon… I, I…”

“Still―”

―It’s not a sin to trust someone.

“!!!”

“So, no matter how bad things were in the past, if Rinasita-nim deeply thinks about it and feels that you want to trust this person once… I think it’s okay to trust them.”

After all, as humans, we are born to live by trusting and relying on each other.

“You might get hurt again. But if you do nothing out of fear, don’t you think it’s a real shame to miss out on someone you can truly trust?”

Eirene quietly looked at Igeon’s face.

Thump, thump.

Was the pounding of her heart due to the urgency of needing to escape suddenly, or was it…

“Sleep.”

Egon extended his hand to Eirene once again.

“This time, please trust me. Living by believing in people, in something beyond that… it’s not so bad… I’ll show you.”

And, Eirene cautiously took his hand――

* * *

In the dark, rain-soaked back alley of the Igogoten royal castle.

The two were running somewhere, hand in hand.

“This way.”

“This is… a carriage?”

“Please change your clothes inside here.”

Eirene entered the luggage compartment.

As he said, there was a set of clothes. A familiar outfit. ―The nun’s habit of the Gwodong Church.

Come to think of it, it would be best to disguise yourself as much as possible to safely escape the castle.

Eirene untied her hair. Her long, bright yellow hair fell to her chest.

Then, she took off her clothes and put on the nun’s habit.

‘…It’s a bit tight.’

It seemed like the clothes would explode at any moment, but she managed to put them on.

It was a ridiculously revealing outfit that exposed her voluptuous side chest… but she thought that maybe the holes in the outfit were the reason it didn’t burst.

They say the bigger the chest, the higher the divine power, but she didn’t understand what was so good about it. It was just heavy and uncomfortable. As she was thinking that…

‘What would Egon think…?’

Suddenly, such a bold thought crossed her mind.

It’s not strange. The people of the Gwodong Church like big chests. When they first met, he even complimented her on her large chest…

‘…What are you thinking, Eirene!’

Eirene slapped her cheeks with both hands.

What use were such thoughts in a situation where they needed to escape immediately?

After dressing up in the nun’s black veil, she stepped out of the luggage compartment-

“…Wow.”

“Huh…?”

Egon turned his head away, not meeting her eyes.

Eirene worried if something was wrong, but-

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“Ah, no. I’m sorry. It’s just… you are so beautiful.”

“…!!!”

Eirene immediately turned her head away-

“Don’t, don’t talk nonsense. Even if… even if you flatter me like that…”

“It’s not flattery! It’s true. But… as Lady Rinasita said, now is not the time for such talk.”

With a slightly flushed face, Egan took Eirene’s hand again.

Thump, thump.

The sound of the rain was getting louder.

Although their bodies were getting wet from the rain… they felt relieved.

They were afraid that their heartbeat might be heard.

Holding hands like that, they arrived at the castle gate.

The guard greeted Eirene and Egan with a look of annoyance.

“Where are you going?”

“We are heading to the Monastery of Saint Aegerdon.”

“Ah, it’s Mr. Egan. Hello. And this is…?”

The guard looked at Eirene, who was dressed in a nun’s habit.

Although it could have been tense, perhaps because Egan was with her, she didn’t feel uneasy.

Instead, she calmly closed her eyes and greeted him.

“Hello.”

“A nun I’ve never seen before.”

“She is a devotee who recently decided to follow the will of God.”

The guard nodded without questioning Egan’s explanation.

“I see. Since you are with the priest, there shouldn’t be any problem. Go ahead.”

Egan bowed his head in gratitude.

“Thank you. This way, please.”

* * *

How long had they been walking, holding Egan’s hand?

As the raindrops grew heavier, she looked back and saw that the royal castle of Igogodon was now quite far away.

She, who always looked down from the tower of the royal castle, had been expelled from the emperor’s seat.

Now, as she fled through the castle gate, she looked back at the distant capital city of Igogodon-

“Be careful, Lady Rinasita. It’s raining.”

Strangely enough, just the fact that Egan was by her side made her feel a surge of positivity, as if everything would somehow be alright.

Anyway, they had left the castle.

Once they reached the monastery where they could take shelter with Egan, they would be able to properly check the situation of the vassals in the other territories.

She had thought about going there directly, but… in a situation where she couldn’t be sure which vassals had sided with the rebellion, she needed to be cautious.

Splash, splash.

“We have to go uphill… Will you be alright?”

“I’m fine.”

It was raining quite heavily, but hadn’t she roamed around quite a bit when she was younger?

Thinking that, she took a few steps forward –

“Ouch…!”

“Lady Rinasita!”

Pathetically, she tripped over a stone and twisted her ankle.

Yes. Even if she had roamed around quite a bit when she was younger, she was no longer a little girl.

When she checked the injured part… it was swollen enough to be easily noticeable.

Egan knelt down and gently examined Eirene’s injury.

“It’s not a serious injury, but… can you walk?”

“…I can walk.”

“Can you really walk?”

Eirene bravely stood up and moved her foot a few times, but…

‘…!!!’

The sharp pain made her sit back down immediately.

Her body, soaked like a drenched rat, was a pitiful sight.

At that moment.

Egan, who had been examining her injury, turned his back to her and crouched down –

“Lady Rinasita. Come on. Get on my back.”

* * *

Swoosh―

The rain pounded on Eirene’s back.

…She hadn’t intended to be carried. She just didn’t want to stubbornly insist on walking in the rain and make things difficult for Egan.

Thump, thump, thump, thump.

Eirene’s chest was pressed tightly against Lee Gun’s broad back.

It wasn’t the embarrassment of their chests touching… it was the worry that he might hear her heartbeat.

What should I do? If he finds out… what should I do?

Feeling like her heart might burst, Eirene somehow managed to squeeze out a conversation.

“…Isn’t it heavy?”

“No. It’s not heavy.”

Lee Gun was definitely a different kind of human. Tall, broad-shouldered… even his arms were solid.

A man, different from a woman… that thought kept coming to her mind.

A man, a being she had never recognized or acknowledged before.

Eirene found herself thinking foolishly, did men always have bodies so different from women’s?

Swoosh―

Before she knew it, they were climbing the mountain, and the sound of rain hitting the leaves could be heard.

“…Lee Gun.”

“Yes, speak.”

“When no one believes in me, how can I trust people?”

Eirene, without realizing it, for the first time, shared her inner thoughts with someone else.

Thoughts she had never revealed to avoid appearing weak.

“Because if you trust, you’ll be betrayed, I trusted no one. In the world I lived in, trusting someone was a sign of weakness. Those who trusted were consumed by that trust. No one was left.”

Words that couldn’t be understood without some prior knowledge, she uttered them easily.

“Naturally, no one truly trusted me. I was comfortable with that. Since I didn’t trust anyone, having someone trust me was just tiring. But… now, ironically, I wonder how to trust someone. When the other person doesn’t trust me, how can I make them trust me… That’s why I couldn’t answer you earlier, Lee Gun.”

She hadn’t really expected an answer even now.

She just… wanted to talk openly. Because he had said it. That humans should rely on each other.

No one had ever approached her sincerely as an emperor… but if it was you, who didn’t know I was an emperor, maybe I could rely on you.

“When no one believes in me, a way to trust each other…”

Lee Gun didn’t dismiss Eirene’s words as foolish, but seriously pondered them.

Every time he moved to think, his masculine scent wafted over her.

And then-

“I don’t know either.”

Once again, this man gave an unexpected answer.

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“What…?”

“Things like how to trust people, or how to persuade those who don’t trust me to believe in me. Honestly, I don’t really know.”

Saying that, he turned his head to Eirene, who was being carried on his back, and with a smile like starlight-

“So, would you like to find out with me from now on?”

“…What?”

“Let’s find out together. How we can trust each other.”

Thump, thump.

Thump, thump.

――Thumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthump…

The sound of her heart beating fiercely swallowed the sound of the rain.

His voice said something, and all the thoughts she had were all, all devoured.

All that remained was the sound of her heart beating. The sound of her whole body trembling at a sensation she felt for the first time in her life. Realizing that she was a woman before she was an emperor.

Eirene von Einsberg.

At the age of thirty-six, she came to know a man for the first time.