The Pentium Era - South to North

Zhang Chen walked outside, and Tan Shuzhen also followed him out, asking Zhang Chen: "Let's go back to Hangzhou first at dawn and come back when the memorial service is held?"

Zhang Chen said yes.

Tan Shuzhen's eyes were still red. She sighed and said with a wry smile: "When one comes and goes, there is no one left."

Zhang Chen said: "What else can we do?"

Neither of them wanted to go back to the group of people playing cards and the funny-looking Feng Laogui. They naturally walked towards the steps and walked down the steps. The road under their feet was on one side. It leads to the cemetery at the back, and on one side leads to the parking lot passing by in front. Of course, they are walking towards the dark parking lot.

Although it is March, the wind in the mountains is still a bit cold. The wind blows, and the surrounding vegetation responds with a rustle, as if there are countless people whispering, and they are in an environment like a funeral home. It should be a bit creepy. Yes, but Tan Shuzhen herself felt strange. She was very calm and not afraid at all.

It's like the road in this funeral home, like the promenade by the Mishi River.

It was probably because he had just come face to face with Feng Laogui's body at such a close distance. Since he was so close to death, there was nothing to be afraid of, and there was Zhang Chen beside him.

The two people walked around the parking lot in silence, as if they didn't want to go back to the noisy mourning hall, so they sat down on the terrazzo chairs next to the parking lot.

Zhang Chen took out a cigarette and asked Tan Shuzhen, "Do you want it?"

"No." Tan Shuzhen said, "When have you ever seen me smoke?"

Zhang Chen smiled: "I thought today was different."

"I also thought that today would be different. As a result, I was so calm that I felt a little scary. Zhang Chen, do you think I am a ruthless person?" Tan Shuzhen asked.

Zhang Chen shook his head and said no, "I just accept everything. I am the same way. First it was Xiao Zhao, then Meng Ping, and now Lao Gui. I think I am getting more and more used to this kind of thing, and I don't even have the ability to resist. By the way, do you know what Li Yong said when he came to see Meng Ping?"

"What did you say?"

"He said that when he saw the people around him leaving one by one, he felt old."

Tan Shuzhen sighed: "I am really old. How can I experience this if I am not old? When I was a child, a child who played with us in the neighborhood died and drowned while swimming. It seemed that the incident passed in the blink of an eye. Everyone should have fun You should just smile and don’t care at all, as if this person has never been there before.”

"What now?"

"I still feel a little emotional. After all, we have known each other and been together for so long. There are many things that cannot be erased. It is not like when I was a child."

Zhang Chen was right, "When Xiao Zhao was away, I thought it was impossible for a long time. I just felt that she was still there. I would bump into her when I went upstairs. I could just call her at any time. Sometimes I fell asleep at night. , in the dream, I felt like she was still lying next to me, hugging me. This slowly disappeared after a long time."

Tan Shuzhen listened and was silent. She thought that at least she and Feng Laogui would not have this feeling. She felt that she could quickly accept the fact that Feng Laogui was not here. When she thought about it, she suspected that she was Not a bit heartless.

"Tan Shuzhen, I want to ask you something." Zhang Chen said.

"What's up?"

"When you were in the ICU, Lao Gui told you to talk to Xiang Nan. What did he want you to say?"

Tan Shuzhen originally wanted to say, nothing happened, but after a moment of silence, she still said, "You want to know?"

"right."

Tan Shuzhen said: "Okay, anyway, we can talk about this now. Let me tell you, Nannan is the daughter of the pole."

"Fuck!" Zhang Chen stood up, looked at Tan Shuzhen and asked, "What did you say?"

"What the fuck? You are not a pole, why are you reacting so loudly?" Tan Shuzhen looked at Zhang Chen, "I repeat, Nannan is the pole's daughter, is that enough?"

"I'll go, this, this, it's too unexpected, Tan Shuzhen, does Laogui know?" Zhang Chen asked.

"Of course, otherwise, why do you think I would marry him?"

Tan Shuzhen said, "This is what Lao Gui wants me to tell Nannan. He probably knows that Nan Nan will not accept it at once and will not believe it. He can prove it while he is still alive, but I don't want Lao Gui to As for Nannan, he is a qualified father. Why should I tell Nannan to just let a daughter give her father a good gift?"

"No, no, Tan Shuzhen, how is this possible? Are you saying that you were pregnant when we left?" Zhang Chen asked.

"After you left, I found out that I was pregnant." Tan Shuzhen said.

"But, but if this is the case..."

"The time doesn't match up, does it?" Tan Shuzhen asked, "Then if I tell you that Nan Nan's actual age is five months older than she is now, is that okay? Does the time match up?"

Zhang Chen sat down and said no, Tan Shuzhen, this matter is too complicated, I don't have enough fucking brain, you have to explain it clearly to me.

Tan Shuzhen and Zhang Chen said, feeling a little excited: "Okay, Zhang Chen, I have told you that Lao Gui is no longer here, so I can tell you. These things are weighing on my heart, and I still have to look at your eyes. Hush, don’t say it, Zhang Chen, I know that in your eyes, I am like Pan Jinlian, I am the one who is sorry for the pole, right?

"Don't say it, don't say it, Zhang Chen, I know you are good to me, but in your heart, in Xiaowu's heart, in each of your hearts, you will think so. This is normal. If I am not myself, but someone else, I think so too, it doesn't matter, really, Zhang Chen.

"It's just that you don't know how much pain I feel when these things weigh on my heart."

"Tan Shuzhen, I understand. No matter what others think of you, in my eyes, you are the same Tan Shuzhen, and you have not changed. I know what you do, and there must be your reasons. That's it, is that okay?" Zhang Chen said.

Tan Shuzhen sighed, and her emotions calmed down a little. She said: "Thank you, Zhang Chen, for so many years, thank you for always being very good to me, like you are my family, no no, better than my family, you are so kind to me." It’s even better, also for Nannan.”

Zhang Chen scolded: "What nonsense are you talking about? We are family to begin with. Hey, can you tell me everything now?"

Tan Shuzhen nodded and said, "Zhang Chen, you smoke. I don't smoke. It smells good too."

Zhang Chen laughed: "There are still a lot of fucking problems."

Zhang Chen took out a cigarette, lit it, and started smoking. Tan Shuzhen leaned back on the chair, wrung her hands together, and looked at the dark building opposite, the dark mountains behind the building, and the sky full of stars. .

"The month you left, my aunt didn't come. Although I was nervous, I could comfort myself and said, it's normal. It's this time. I'm too nervous. My aunt is not normal. It's normal. Even so. I was thinking about it, but I was still nervous. By the time the second month had not come, I would not be able to lie to myself anymore.

"My stomach started to feel a little stiff. I knew I must be pregnant. At that time, every day was like a year. As soon as you left, there was no news at all, no letter of agreement, no phone call. I I feel like I have been abandoned by you, really, that’s how I feel, Zhang Chen..."

"That's not right, Tan Shuzhen." Zhang Chen said, "Didn't I tell you a long time ago that I would write to you when the pole arrived in Hai'an? I have been writing to you since then. The phone number is indeed true. At that time, we had no fixed residence. We don’t have any money, so even if we call you, it’s impossible to get through. Your parents won’t answer our calls. The first call we get through…”

"That's when it was New Year's Eve, right?" Tan Shuzhen sneered, "How many months has it been? Six months, Zhang Chen!"

What Tan Shuzhen did not tell Zhang Chen was that at that time, she and Feng Laogui had already registered.

"Okay, I won't interrupt, you should continue talking."

"Where did I say it before?" Tan Shuzhen asked.

"You said you feel like you've been abandoned by us."

"Yes, that's what I thought at that time. I didn't have any news about you. I felt very lonely, desperate, and helpless. I could only run to your house again and again, asking uncles and aunts if they had any news about you. , they all said no.”

Zhang Chen knew that at the time Tan Shuzhen was talking about, it was he and Liu Ligan who were looking for jobs everywhere. When they hit the wall again and again, they almost went to Danzhou to plant rubber. At that time, for them, finding a job , being able to survive in Hainan is the most important thing. I never think of contacting my family, but even if I do, I don’t know what to say.

"In the third month, I could feel that my belly was getting bigger. Every day when I went out, I tied my belly tightly with a ribbon. Why? I'm afraid, there is family planning in the yard. Cadres, there are family planning cadres in the street. If they find out that I am pregnant, they will definitely come to my door. How strict will the control be at that time?"

Zhang Chen remembered that when he was in Sanbao, the female director of Sanbao Village just saw Xiao Zhao in the vegetable field, so she followed him over, and later came to the door again, otherwise they wouldn't be so anxious. I have to run back to Xiao Zhao’s hometown to go through the formalities.

"Later, I was alone and couldn't bear it anymore, so I had to tell my mother. My mother was also frightened. She also knew what would happen if she was found to be pregnant. I was a career editor, and the first one was to be fired. I will also be fined. After I am fired from my job, no organization will want me again. What should I do?

"This is still good. If we wait until the child is born, it will be even worse. The child will be a gangster. We, mother and son, will probably starve to death except for begging for food."

Zhang Chen was silent. He also knew that according to the policy at that time, it was indeed the only possibility that Tan Shuzhen said. The mother was expelled and the daughter did not have a household registration. Without a household registration, it meant that there were no food stamps and various vouchers. At that time, it was You can't buy anything if you have money but no bills. What's more, if you are fired and have no income, where will you find money?

Children cannot go to kindergarten or elementary school, and they will be laughed at wherever they go.

Many things cannot be pushed forward from the back. Although work, household registration, etc. are no longer important now, at that time, any one of them could kill someone, even Xiao Zhao. , with an agricultural registered permanent residence, didn’t it scare his mother to tears?

They also wanted to buy a household registration for Xiao Zhao, thinking it was a God-given opportunity. Unexpectedly, after buying the household registration, the household registration began to become less and less important and less valuable. But at that time, who knew?

Zhang Chen could imagine how big a big deal it was when Tan Shuzhen found out she was pregnant. At that time, girls couldn't go to the hospital when they were pregnant, just like picking off an apple. At that time, most people didn't have this at all. I don’t have the guts to do it.

Tan Shuzhen found out that she was pregnant. Zhang Chen could imagine that in an instant, there was a bolt from the blue, and her whole sky was dark.

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