The mother planet secretly transformed without telling us

Wu Yisong is a real jackal. When a colorful, soft and cute mini steam train came over with a whistle, everyone was at a loss. Lao Wang was like seeing a ghost: "I weigh 300 to 500 kilograms and am more than two meters tall. You let me sit in this? Just tell me if this thing is more than one meter high, including the wheels?"

The steam train is good, but the painting of this thing is really too outrageous. The various magical cartoon characters and the pink color are so childish that even a 6-year-old girl would find it childish. It is hard to imagine how abstract it would be if a group of men with armed and tough temperament sat on this thing. It is simply embarrassing and embarrassing to turn the mill around with bare buttocks!

"1.6 meters tall" Wu Yisong's eyes were filled with shame and his face was resigned to his fate: "Jiaojiao and Qiangqiang like it"

"Fuck you, fuck you." Lao Wang cursed: "What sin have I committed to be a classmate with a thing like you, well, you are the boss today, you have been holding it back for a long time, let's go, comrades, get on the train! We will deal with him later! After the wedding of this beast is over and mating is over, we will settle the accounts with him!"

After the ammunition was loaded, the underage train was loaded with the weight that it should not bear at its age, and it spewed out a spectacular steam column more than ten meters high and drove onto the ferry island.

However, the workmanship of this thing is quite exquisite. Except for the lack of rails, even the wheels look almost the same as a real train.

Lao Wang was nestled in a narrow space behind Wu Yisong, watching the base master floating in the air approaching. There was a shyness on his face that was not in line with his personality. He murmured gradually: "At least this thing is half-open, otherwise I would feel even more like riding a canned car. To be honest, my shoes are bigger than this. Tell me the truth, this thing is really not inspired by the subway during the morning rush hour?"

The ferry island soon docked, and the small train with a big red flower and a big happy character on its head was tied with ribbons. It left the port and went to the street, attracting countless passers-by and vehicles honking.

Wu Yisong was neither happy nor sad. The sacredness and solemnity of marriage were intertwined, and he wanted to shine.

But the facts proved that a person could not hold back when he could not hold back. Soon Wu Yisong heard the children on the side of the road asking puzzled questions: "Mom, mom, why did these uncles rob our children's toys? Are they too poor to buy adult products?"

The children's voices were a little louder.

Compared to the little girl's age of four or five, this should be a sentence with explosive information.

Not only Wu Yisong was broken, but even the little girl's mother blushed instantly: "Go, stop talking nonsense, what does a child know, go home with your mother!"

Lao Wang replied immediately with full enthusiasm: "Don't go, madam, children can talk without restraint, but as an adult, you have to talk about the part about adult products. You don't want this kind of thing to be spread to more people besides your husband and me, right?"

The wife ran more happily.

Lao Wang's intimidation is invincible to married women. In this base, there are many people who can't recognize Teacher Li Cangcang in person, but if you say there are married women who don't know Lao Wang, that's pure nonsense. Hundreds of women in the car laughed wildly: "Wow, this lady has really nimble legs and feet, and she's holding a child. Even a small train can't catch up with her!"

"Notorious Lao Wang, you scared the wife so much!"

"Brother Song is right, purple is the most charming."

"But she's wearing white clothes!"

"Her shoulder straps are exposed"

"You fucking What kind of beast are you! I am ashamed to be associated with you!"

The train was very slow, and it took more than 40 minutes to get to the downstairs of Jiaojiao's house, blowing a dirty whistle with a column of air. Amid the cheers of the long-awaited crowd and the sound of fireworks, Lao Wang grabbed the loud speaker in Wu Yisong's hand and said, "Listen, everyone inside! Put down the props in your hands! Don't make unnecessary resistance! The more you resist, the more excited we are! Today, we will rob everyone except the mother-in-law!"

If we bring a company of fierce bandits to rob the bride, how will the bridesmaids respond?

The answer is that the bride has a reaction!

The whole self-built small building was quiet, even the lights were not on, which gave Lao Wang an ominous premonition: "Damn, it's just a wedding, your big thunder won't hide somewhere to put a sack on us and hit us with a club, right?"

Li Cang frowned and retreated behind the crowd: "How about I call a few lackeys to go in and clear the mines?"

"God damn clear the mines!"

There's no need to count on Teacher Cang for this kind of thing. It took a lot of effort for a group of people to escort him to the car to welcome the bride.

Comrade the groom was already confused. Looking at this courtyard decorated with lights and colors and living for three years, he felt extremely unfamiliar. It seemed that there was a monster that devoured people's hearts hidden in the dark gate behind the lawn.

"Old. Old Wang" Wu Yisong swallowed hard, looking very stupid, "What. What should I do."

"Useless little trash! Just let it go! You f*cking wake up and get into the state! It's you who's getting married, not me who's cutting it off!" Old Wang waved his hand, "Comrades, don't count on this guy for now, do as we agreed, we'll take care of his marriage, it's just one time of exhaustion, the mistresses are none of our business, line up, come on!"

Wu Yisong, who was in a state of having no sense of existence and having a strong sense of existence: "Impossible, I didn't, don't talk nonsense"

The cameraman who is in a single state: "Okay! The effect is very good! Keep it up!"

Lao Wang stood in front of his head with a big trumpet in his left hand and a large bouquet of roses in his right hand. Every time a groomsman passed by, he would shake his hair and take a rose from his hand. The wind rustled and the water went against him. The strong man left like a bandit. .

Wow.

The door just opened in front of Wu Yisong. Behind the door were several companies of doormen and flower girls. They were all three or five years old, boys in tuxedos and girls in princess dresses. There were no adults visible at all, filling the huge living room. There's not even a place to set foot.

The cheers of welcome and congratulations were overwhelming and completely swallowed up Wu Yisong and his sanity. Without any suspense, the 6,000 big red envelopes prepared by Wu Yisong shrank by 50% in an instant.

How can I refuse this?

Who has the heart to say no?

You can't refuse it at all!

Even a big live animal like Lao Wang was "robbed" with his hands above his head and was "thrown down" to the ground, for fear of accidentally bumping into this group of festive, lively and extremely ferocious little ancestors.

After receiving the red envelopes, the children rushed out of the gate like locusts crossing the border.

Wu Yisong even turned out the red belt wrapped around his waist by his mother, and was about to cry without tears: "Do you think they want to regret their marriage?"

"Holding grass, is this a job that people can think of?" Lao Wang pointed to the Q-version hand and foot stickers on the floor and the wine barrels placed in two rows along the road: "You are not asking us to go up here. Bar?"

Seeing these wine barrels, all the brothers' faces turned green. They drank all day and all night yesterday. Even a funnel can't drink like this, right?

"Correct answer~" Comrade Pei Qian, the late emcee, led another team of photographers and a number of bridesmaids with faint outlines of formal waistcoats standing on the stairs to smile neatly, "It's not easy to pick up the bride. It is an easy task. It is necessary to pass the level. You have to follow the rules. Then, this level will be a rush. When you come through, there should be no wine left. If one person passes the level, it is considered as everyone passing the level. If you go wrong or have you used the sticker? , the punishment is for you to guess!”

There are so many wine barrels, do you treat us as balloons and still pass the level alone?

With a strong enemy in front and pursuers behind, the bridesmaids and the fun-loving people behind them continued to make noises, and tried to increase the psychological pressure of the groomsmen with cheese sandwiched between two breads.

Lao Wang blinked and expressed affection with his eyebrows: "President Pei, if you are more tolerant, we might have the possibility of renewing our bad relationship. Why don't you give us a line off the wine barrel?"

Pei Qian blushed: "No! Good things come in pairs! My professional ethics don't allow me to do this!"

"Whatever Jiaojiao gives, Boss Wu will pay double!"

The bridesmaids started chattering with a strong sense of martial virtue. Pei Qian looked at her watch: "The limited time for this level is 15 minutes. You still have 14 minutes and 25 seconds. It's a big mistake to delay the auspicious time!"

"Brothers, rush me!"

A group of groomsmen looked at each other for a long time, then lined up and danced according to the handprints and footprints on the ground——

"Is this thing really a move that humans can do?"

"It's so scary. My waist, my back, my arms, rub them, who's going to rub my butt!"

"Ahhhh it hurts."

“Damn I knew I would have ordered yoga in advance and become proficient!”

"The first one, the sixth one, and the seventh one are all eliminated! Although this game does not limit the number of people, those who are eliminated are not allowed to participate in all subsequent games! You have to consider how many people are sent out to get the most bang for your buck. !" The bridesmaids behind her were laughing loudly, but Pei Qian was still trying to be serious: "Also, don't question the professionalism of the game, these ladies behind me have done this themselves!"

"Yes, yes, if you each give me a red envelope, I can consider giving you some tips~"

"Give!"

"Know your signs! This is the right thing! Listen carefully, although there is only one line of these handprints and footprints, it is impossible to walk directly. It is impossible to step on them all. You have to advance and retreat!"

The first brother Qi Xingzhong who had evolved to the point where he was facing up, kicking the golden rooster independently, and holding the arch bridge backwards with one hand, fell to the ground with a bang: "Sisters, have you ever considered a problem when thinking about this game? We are a group of straight men. Ah, the body and brain circuits may be harder than steel bars!”

"Then we don't care, just say you can't do it!"

The second brother worked silently and had already started drinking the first barrel of wine. Lao Wang was still trying hard: "Sisters, tell me how many red envelopes it takes to buy you. Let us set an example!"

The girls were very calm: "That's not okay. This game was thought up by everyone together. You have to get everyone's consent!"

An honest brother: "They are not here, how can we obtain consent?"

"We don't need this kind of stupidity!" Lao Wang kicked this guy out of the team with a flying kick, and his big face was full of flattery: "Tell me, sisters, how many people do you have?"

The young lady spread her fingers and blinked seriously: "Eight hundred!"

Even if you count the amount of meat, you can't fit eight hundred people into the room upstairs!

Lao Wang ordered the backpack brother: "Here! Give it to them!"

With eight hundred red envelopes to buy the way, the ladies immediately became active, and their apples and waistcoat lines looked particularly plump: "Then you should be careful, we will only demonstrate once!"

Even with the demonstration, the living room was still filled with the sound of bones snapping and the tragic howling of the male compatriots. And there were not only movements, but also wine. With the blessing of various weird movements, the former wine barrels have now become gluttons, and they have turned into three-eyed fountains and foamed on the ground.

"Duoshun! Too insidious! We gave the red envelopes without bargaining, and you actually shook the wine in advance?"

"Go, go, go, go, go, the troops have not moved yet, the food has come first, brothers, come on, come on, come on~"

There were corpses everywhere in front, just a small game of rushing around, and only one-third of the entire company was left.

The groomsmen who were eliminated after selflessly dedicating themselves to the cause were not only straightened and pregnant, but also suffered personal insults. Lao Wang and a group of groomsmen behind them were arrogant: "A bunch of useless things, that's it? Let's go, brothers, this road is open, follow me to continue!"

Rushing up the stairs, Wu Yisong was stunned again.

It's not that he's still at a loss. After a warm-up game, he's already in the right state. The main reason for his daze is that the corridor on the stairs has changed. It was originally supposed to be a "string"-shaped small living room with an enlarged living room structure. Now the small living room, which has been turned into a study, has been decorated like a casino with lights and colors. At the end of the corridor, there is a double heart-shaped custom-made bed. You can directly see the huge bridesmaids group behind them. Two brides in phoenix crowns and bridal robes are sitting on it and waving round fans calmly, just like Zhuge Liang sitting in an empty city.

Wu Yisong was confused and his heart was about to rise to his throat. What's going on? Didn't we agree to pick you two up in turn? You didn't even discuss it with me and changed your mind at the last minute?

Where's the plan?

Why don't you play by the rules?

"Hmm! Now is not the time to look at the bride, you still have to pass the level!" Pei Qian smiled and pointed at the three bridesmaids sitting at the mahjong table in the middle of the "casino" and waiting for battle. "Blocking the door mahjong, three against one, if you lose, you have to drink, but as long as you win one round, just one round, you will pass the level!"

The groomsmen were shocked: "Huh?"

"Is there such a good thing?"

"I'll do it!"

"This guy must be good at it!"

Pei Qian shook her head slowly and meaningfully, so under the scrutinizing and questioning eyes of the bridesmaids, the groomsmen were gradually smoothed out and flattened, decentralized and backgrounded, and began to look back and search after realizing it belatedly.

"Teacher Cang, stop hiding~"

"Hey? Where's the person?"

"He was here just now! How come such a big person disappeared?"

A minute later, six bridesmaids with great martial virtues politely grabbed Li Cang's collar and carried him from the bookcase to the mahjong table. They even tied him up, bah, fixed him, and then turned on the seat heating and served him hot eight-treasure boiled beer.

Pei Qian said: "The seat is customized, and the heating function heats up one degree every 15 seconds. If you feel hot, Teacher Cang, you can drink tea or take off your clothes~"

Bridesmaids: "Oh~"

The light in the eyes can sting.

Li Cang, a potential social phobia patient who was tied to the chair alive, shivered like sitting on pins and needles, with mess and despair written all over his face. Who the hell figured out this torture? You have done so many bad things and lost your conscience. Aren't you afraid of being struck by lightning? !

As we all know, Teacher Cang has two weaknesses:

Luck and mahjong.

What's more unfortunate is that these two can be superimposed. As for alcohol tolerance, that thing can't be completely regarded as a weakness in a general sense.

Amid the shuffling sound of cards, a long-planned unilateral humiliation against Li Cang, a potential social phobia patient, began openly.

You don't even need to think about it to know which loser woman came up with this trick. Even Brother Corpse can beat him in mahjong, not to mention that three carefully selected veterans are chasing and blocking him. Comrade Qiao Jiaojiao, Comrade Song Qiang, I think you really don't want to get married today, right?

"No, you wait a moment first."

"Old Wang, don't talk, otherwise this round will be judged as Teacher Cang's loss. You are the most dishonest!"

"Speak some sense, we civilized people don't do bad things. What I mean is, if we can't give him advice, then it's okay for us to send someone to drink for him, right?"

"Of course, it's okay, but only one person is allowed, that's him!"

The thin and bespectacled best man who was dragged out had a heroic face: "Teacher Cang, let me make it clear first, I'll only drink 4 taels, God knows what they boiled in this beer, so I'm in your care, and if I fall, you have to drink the rest of the beer yourself!"

Li Cang: "."

Let's not talk too much, we brothers in trouble, let's pray for our own good fortune, condolences.

You can always trust Teacher Cang, after all, Teacher Cang's luck is as strong as his drinking habits, compared to this, this gentleman's mahjong level seems insignificant and dispensable.

"Teacher Cang, let's roll the dice."

"Eight o'clock, what are you doing, Teacher Cang? You're grabbing cards from this side, the direction is wrong!"

"."

Looking at the obvious color, Wu Yisong was like a mouse standing on a pancake griddle, with a pan under his feet and fire outside, anxious and running around.

The three carefully selected bridesmaids are experienced brick kings who can handle the game on their own. They are very good at turning cards and communicating with their eyes, but they don't even look at the cards during the whole process. They are like a pig slaughtering game, and the pig they slaughter is the New Year pig.

"Sixty thousand."

"Eat."

"Five cakes."

"Touch and listen!"

Master Wang: "Aren't you waiting for me to hold the grass? There are only three cards here, why did you just listen?"

Bird Saints: "Why, I don't let you talk and I don't let you look at the cards. If you don't believe me, look at it yourself!"

This situation made Lao Wang feel numb.

As the bridesmaids continued to jeer and jeer, Lao Wang patted Li Cang's shoulder sympathetically. Li Cang shook his arm, thinking he had received a hint, and immediately retracted the big cake he was about to hit. After hesitating again and again, he threw out a piece of 80,000 yuan. .

"To! And! Drink!"

"Thirty seconds for a draw? Teacher Cang is really a quick shooter! Even the actors I hired wouldn't dare to act like this!"

"Hahaha~"

Li Cang looked at Lao Wang with a faint look: "You are a pig teammate!"

Lao Wang gritted his teeth and said, "You're going to get a cake and I'll fight you straight away. Believe it or not, this kid has to drink 16 cups!"

Eight consecutive games, each game lasted no longer than five minutes. There was plenty of time left for Teacher Cang, but not much time left for Brother Glasses.

The spectacled brother narrowed his eyes precariously and said incoherently: "Teacher Cangcang, please. I don't want to be carried to the mat for a while. I thought that even though we are both from Yanchuan, there is no big grudge. I beg you, please let me know. At least catch a pair and make a dragon, right?"

The situation was so tragic that even the bridesmaids couldn't stand it. A large group of bridesmaids rushed up and surrounded Li Cang and acted as a dog-headed strategist. Let's just say that these negative teaching materials were indeed very careful. As for whether they took the opportunity to deal with It’s unclear whether Teacher Cang’s secret poking at the waist, shoulders, chest, back, and buttocks had some evil intentions. Anyway, no one could see him because he was surrounded by people.

The groomsmen didn't know whether to be envious or jealous for a moment, and they said sourly: "No wonder Old Wu let Teacher Cang do it whether he lives or not."

"This target, this density of firepower, is incredible!"

"Come on, the lemon smell on you is suffocating me!"

"Ha~"

After all, the Bird Saint is a Bird Saint. If he can still lose to Li Cang in a three-on-one situation, he doesn't have to hang out anymore. Li Cang thought about this, and glanced at Da Leizi who was looking at the fun with his feet up, and then gave him Lao Wang winked: I thought of a way to ban Da Lei Zi, you block it!

Lao Wang understood: You are good!

Lao Wang immediately ran around the whole room on the pretext of looking for shoes, and issued a death threat: "Teacher Cang asked me to ask you, was it your kid who leaked the information to the enemy?"

Comrade Dalei Zi, who was photographed by Yamei in "Silence of the Lambs" and took out the double insurance in the silent field, was discouraged and stopped trying to expose Li Cang's fraud. Ever since, a ghost, a ghost, was born except for Li Cang and Li Cang. Lace's ghost, which no one could see, began to hover over the card table.

Immediately, Li Cang seemed to have divine help, blocking the way to kill the gods and Buddhas. Finally, after two games, he slapped the mahjong into the table and scolded Fang Qiu: "Get it!"

Although the bridesmaids were still not satisfied, they still cheered as if they had won.

On the contrary, the groomsmen and the onlookers behind asked: "What is this?"

"Good guy, does Pihu count as peace?"

“Appearance can indeed make people tolerant.”

"Don't embarrass Teacher Cang. It's not easy for him to know that he's messed up!"

The three bird saints felt offended, but after receiving the red envelope that Li Cang took out from his pocket, they subconsciously squeezed it, and then squeezed it again. It was round, and it was a coin, not a card. They immediately smiled. Li Cang Then he flatters me at the right time: "Thank you for not killing me, I accept it, I accept it!"

Glasses Brother: "Thank you. No."

Plop!

Lao Wang waved his hand and said, "Come on, give me this thing!"

I was submissive to the bridesmaids and showed my virtue to my own people. A group of groomsmen suddenly responded and took out the forks they got from nowhere and stabbed the poor glasses brother out.