The Grey Wizard of Hogwarts

Spider End Alley, Kirkworth, at night in 1970.

The town by the sewage river is full of dilapidated houses, and along the streets of abandoned factories are the street lamps in disrepair and the dirty garbage bags blown by the night wind.

"Yo, yo, look who I saw, wacky Severus in his wacky clothes." A little boy in a three-piece suit pointed at Snape and made a fuss with the kids beside him laugh it out.

Snape pursed his lips, carried his schoolbag, and walked silently across the street corner.

"Hey, hey, don't go." The group of children rushed out.

"Just kidding, Severus, we're joking." The little boy said sincerely, "Would you like to be friends?"

Snape froze for a moment, his eyes lit up, and he looked up at him.

"Listen, although you're not good at studying and your character is not good, but you're cool enough, we need a friend like you." The little boy put his hand on his companion's shoulder and looked at Snape with a smile." There is a party tomorrow night, how about you come too."

Snape was moved, and he looked at this group of people with some hope, "I..."

"Hahahaha." The little boy laughed suddenly, "The premise is..."

"The premise is that you have to wear a normal dress, hahaha."

"…"

Is this humiliation? But they look very enthusiastic. Is this sarcasm? But they seem to really want to invite themselves.

Snape looked down at his clothes, and finally, after being silent for a long time, walked past him with pursed lips.

His head was cluttering, and he didn't know what he was thinking.

Finally, he came to the deepest corner of the alley, a house with a strange attic.

Looking up, the attic made of all kinds of broken wood is really weird, it looks like a witch's crooked hat. Such a house will not look abrupt in this alley, because there are traces of random construction everywhere.

It's so broken here that no one wants to come over and take care of it.

Pushing open the door, he walked from the cramped pile of groceries to the stairs leading upstairs. Snape was about to go upstairs when he heard his parents arguing.

He was silent for a long time, then pulled out a delicate-looking chair from the grocery pile and curled up on it.

These chairs not only witnessed the glory of the city decades ago, but also the peak of his father's career, the famous Tobias Snape home businessman.

"Magic! Magic! You only know magic all day!" The father's roar was filled with drunkenness, "The business was just a little bit worse back then, why didn't you see you use magic to help me!"

Then came the sob of my mother, "No, no, Tobias, I didn't learn magic for that. You're talking about black magic, and that's not allowed."

"Haha." Father sneered, "If you're not allowed, you'll be good, you'll just follow the rules, then you deserve to live in such a crappy place and endure this crappy life!"

"You're better off not being able to use magic! Just kidding, you're the only witch! What kind of magic did you learn!"

"No!" screamed the mother. "Don't tear up my magic book, Tobia, I know, you're drunk, don't do this."

wow.

I don't know what happened again, it was the sound of glass breaking.

His father's roar, his mother's sobbing, and the dim light from the stairs made Snape, who was curled up in the chair, feel that he was plunged into darkness.

Unconsciously, he fell asleep like this.

No one has time for him, there are only quarrels, quarrels, and quarrels in the adult world.

Finally, as a ray of sunlight came in from the window, through the gaps in the haphazardly piled groceries, it reflected on Snape's face.

He woke up.

He held his legs blankly, his head blank.

Soon there was a sound from upstairs, the stairs creaking, and my father came down with a heavy carpenter's box on his back.

"Hey boy, do you like magic?"

Snape shook his head.

"very good."

…

Having eaten the bread that his mother hastily made with magic, Snape looked at his mother's red eyes and was silent for a long time.

He can't understand the world of adults, obviously people with such a big difference in world views, yes, witches and Muggles seem to be people from two worlds. In the quarrel tomorrow, either the father smashed the mother's Gobstone chessboard, or the mother was excited to release magic and hurt the father.

In this way, he was barely able to maintain a family.

They were so unsuitable and so in love with each other that one day they were discussing whether to have another child while they were still young.

Snape couldn't understand the brain circuits of adults.

It was the weekend, and he came to the park a little glum.

"Did they quarrel again?" a cute little girl asked.

Snape raised his head in amazement and smiled. This was the only time he smiled in the past two days, and his smile was extraordinarily bright, "Lily."

Lily Yinwansi, a little girl from the same town, has a good family background, but she never despised herself because of her background.

Getting along with Lily was a light in his dark childhood, so relaxed and happy.

Lily would tell him about the strange powers that happened to him, Snape would console her that it was a magical riot, and he would tell her about the wizarding world in exaggerated terms with the few words she had heard from her mother.

Dear, this chapter is not over, there is a next page ^0^ is beautiful.

"Do you like magic?"

"certainly!"

"Me too!" Snape laughed.

But happiness is always short-lived.

Penny appeared, this jealous and mean woman, jumped out from behind the tree.

"Are you wearing your mother's clothes?"

This woman's words were always so bitter and mean, which deeply pierced Snape's heart, and he looked at Lily with some fear, hoping that she would not think the same.

Although this is true, yes, the family is poor, and he is wearing his mother's old clothes.

Lily's eyes were full of this sister, not paying attention to Snape's pain.

She is always like this, especially caring about this sister. And this sister is always like this. As soon as she appears, she wants to say something that will hurt Snape, so many good times will end in unhappy ends.

Snape looked at the world sadly, full of resentment.

wow~

The branch fell and hit Penny on the shoulder, and she stumbled back a few steps, crying.

"Did you do it?"

"No." Snape was a little unconvinced, but he couldn't help but think, maybe this is magic to help him get revenge?

"It's you!" Lily looked angry. "It's you who hurt her!"

She chased her sister's figure and ran out of the woods, leaving Snape blankly defending, "I didn't..."

do not have it?

Snape remembered one time when his mother was angry, the scissors from the shelf flew out of their own accord and stabbed into his father's belly. Magic power really moves with your heart.

He remembered that at that time, his mother was crying and using a potion called Bai Mo to save his father, begging him not to die.

On the contrary, the father didn't look too angry, he just asked, "Didn't you just cast a spell to restore it?"

"That's an anti-curse, and it's only effective if it's used on being damaged by magic."

Snape remembered the time when his father shed a lot of blood and was the closest to death. He grabbed his hand hard and said, "I know you're going to learn magic in the future, you don't have to lie to me. .Listen, you must learn magic with anti-curse, this is a damage method with regret medicine, which is much better than firearms."

…

…

Time flies, and in a blink of an eye they're in, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Snape thought he had finally found a big family that recognized him and had a lot of his own kind, but he didn't.

The students here are worse than those in the small town. Discrimination is everywhere. Those sons and buddies look down on everything like high-ranking people, making him so ugly, poor, and withdrawn.

Even if the children in the small town know the world, why do people here become so unscrupulous when they understand magic?

The students of Gryffindor House in particular, in the name of the conflict between the two Houses, shamed themselves so without any psychological burden.

But, finally, Snape wasn't that bad boy anymore.

He is so suitable to be a wizard, he has shown enough talent in herbs, potions, spells.

Life tells us that if we can't change the world, we can change ourselves.

If the world is full of discrimination chains, the only thing we can do is to climb to the top of the discrimination chain.

Don't be the layer that gets hurt, be the layer that hurts others, even if we don't have ill intentions.

This is not just a junior school, this is the epitome of the wizarding world. After just a few years from this school, it is the wizarding world. Snape understands better than anyone that the fierce competition in life has long started from here. .

He began to show his excellence, and finally, the group at the top of the discrimination chain accepted him.

Take the initiative to recruit him.

Evan Rozier took him to a classroom belonging to the student club in the castle, where he met the prefect Lucius Malfoy.

Wilkes held a pile of documents in front of him, and Bellatrix Blake asked him with a smile, "Do you want to see more powerful black magic?"

Of course, I aspire to be strong.

…

The process of learning black magic is not very pleasant, although Snape seems to be particularly good at it, he can always easily break through the inherent theories and figure out some new and interesting magic spells.

Everyone in the small group marveled at his wisdom and was happy to bring more magic books from the family to share with him.

This kind of extremely valuable knowledge in the wizarding world can no longer be found anywhere except the forbidden area of ​​the school library that seems to be forever out of reach.

This was the best chance to change a life, Snape knew.

Finally, relying on one's own hard study, relying on hard work to bloom one's own excellence, little by little to create an appearance that is needed by others and has value in use, this is the situation that has been exchanged.

To be cherished.

Pure blood supremacy? All right, you say yes. Discrimination against Muggles? Okay, anyway, Gryffindor, who has the most Muggle wizards, bullied himself a lot.

Accept their theories, and that's the price of learning advanced magic.

Anyway, no matter how well-deserved the study club or group is, it's the same, everyone does it, and Snape can accept it.

He only has one request, Lily is hemp

Dear, this chapter is not over, there is another page ^0^ melon, but whoever dares to humiliate her, don't blame him for turning his face and not recognizing anyone.

In fact, extremes and compromises are never two-sided, because they contain dirty governance.

Everyone has given him enough respect, after all, he is getting better and better, and he has quietly walked ahead of these people.

We are all smart people and know what kind of judgment to make.

Pedigree? That is just a means of maintaining privileges, not a means of making enemies. The smarter you are, the dirtier your mind will be.

Snape saw it very clearly. As long as the interests were big enough, it would be a sentence to let Lucius marry a Muggle. As long as the interests were big enough, you could see if he would talk about pure-blooded pride.

It's just a big flag, so let's go.

The world is just like that, not so dark, not so bright.

Except for the naive Gryffindor.

As it happens, Lily is the innocent Gryffindor.

Snape hoped that Lily would understand herself, but it was destined to be difficult. Lily is different from him. She was born in a good grip. Even if she is not a wizard, she is a proud little princess when she goes back. She doesn't care about magic that much.

Yes, don't think that only pure blood discriminates against Muggles, and Muggles even discriminate against the entire wizarding community.

Thinking of these wizards who seem to have lived in the last century, it can be said that freaks and monsters are more polite than calling them primitive people.

ps: Penny's husband is such a person. Just a small middle-class executive, his life is better than that of the oldest pure-blood family, except that there are few elves in the family as slaves. But isn't this kind of slaves even more despised for this kind of primitive life?

And all of this makes all the difference...

It was like the beginning of all nightmares.

…

…

When that day came, a group of James surrounded Snape, hung him upside down with the fuchsia clock he invented, and took off his pants in front of countless people in the school...

An exasperated Snape called out a humiliating 'mudblood'.

Annoyed, Lily scolded a very humiliating "snotling".

Snotling, snotling, these are the words of Gryffindor's gang to humiliate him, so Lily thought so too, didn't she?

No one knows what kind of inner psychological construction Snape used to finally find Lily to apologize.

But it's useless, this is not a question of swearing, it's the completely irreconcilable position of the two behind the swearing.

It can only be said that he met the wrong person at the wrong time, and once Lily met Lily, he lost his life.

Snape was a smart man, just not good at emotional things, but it was precisely because of his smartness that he became more stubborn.

The sand that cannot be grasped in the palm of your hand...

Then you have to grasp it harder, clenching it into the flesh and blood.

Countless examples of powerful wizards tell us that our magic can be extremely powerful when we have a person in our hearts who tortures us every day.

Grindelwald is so.

Dumbledore was like that.

So did Snape.

When magic and emotion were completely merged, Snape easily entered an unprecedented level. No one knew that it only took one day for him to invent the 'Shadowless Spell'.

No one knows that the anti-curse was invented earlier than this spell.

This is the teaching of the father.

Any power with remorse is good.

Even black magic.

Although this scruffy old man was rescued by Bai Moss, he quarreled with his mother vigorously and lived like a bug in the sewer.

Of course, since the top group of the school was planning to follow in Voldemort's footsteps, Snape, who had already gained enough benefits, sent his parents out of the country very cunningly.

Given the wealthy and easy living conditions they long for, maybe in that environment, they should no longer quarrel over the hard life, maybe they will give birth to a younger brother or sister?

Who knows.

After all, Snape, who liked self-mutilation, brutally used potions to completely wash away most of his parents' memories, and no one could find their traces through himself.

Neither can Voldemort, he has this confidence.

On the magical road of becoming powerful, the price is always so shocking.

This kind of magic spell from emotions, the magic that controls everything from the mind, deeply made Snape understand a truth.

- Wizards are not gods, wizards are devils.

Muggle perception is correct.

The devil should be tied to a wooden frame and burned to death.

…

…

Mind, magic, magic, this is a terrifying set of recipes.

When all is well, we can easily use magic to manipulate everything and make everything follow our heart.

But ah...

When the flaws in our hearts are exposed, the magic will become the devil, which in turn will erode everything.

Snape sometimes envied those simple-minded people, whose stupid minds could not interfere with magic at all, but could choose the path that least affected themselves.

Brave, love, hate, protect, kill...

Only someone with complex thinking like him can easily go to the realm of magic and touch the realm of the devil.

But it also means

Dear, this chapter is not over, there is another page ^0^, the devil is watching him all the time.

Is black magic dangerous?

Do not!

It's magic that's dangerous!

The moment Lily fell into Potter's arms, this intense and painful emotion instantly inspired a lot of magic.

Emotions channel more magic.

Magic devours more emotion.

Before you know it, Lily, the black magic, merges into one in the magic power.

He also thought about giving up, who didn't have a first love that didn't end without a problem when he was young, but no, the magic power that has been fused together does not allow it.

The magic could not tolerate his betrayal, it quietly swallowed his heart, and quietly changed his heart.

He could only savor the emotion that gave him strength, but also pain, day after day, year after year.

The more tortured, the stronger.

Until the moment when Lily died.

Logically, losing Lily brings powerful magic power, and losing Lily completely should bring more powerful magic power, but it is not. (This sentence was not in his mind.)

His magic power completely stopped.

The torment in his heart also stopped.

his heart...

Empty with nothing left.

This seemed to be the most malicious mockery of fate.

This is magic, powerful magic, terrible magic, disgusting magic, fearful magic.

But if the father asked him again.

"Hey boy, do you like magic?"

He would nod firmly, "Yeah!"

As for why, because of magic, because of Lily.

…

Did Snape really love Lily, of course!

Is it really so heartbreaking, of course!

Are there magically affected relationships? Have!

Is it because of the magic that the love is so piercing?

Answer: I don't know!

Yes, although it's a bit cruel to say that, as if to say, oops, Snape, your love is not faithful, your love is not pure.

But ah, how can human emotions be defined only by a simple psychological activity!

Magic relies on emotions, amplifies emotions, smelts emotions, counteracts emotions, wizards, creatures that cannot be analyzed separately from magic.

After all, wizards are magical creatures.

…

The Time Transformer took Anton all the way to follow the memory, and came to the process of Snape's repeated attempts to save Lily.

Once, once, again.

After each despair, more powerful magic, more crazy plans.

But without even one success, everything seems to be doing nothing.

Except he himself became stronger.

It's hard to even call this more powerful magic powerful.

Snape's black magic has even reached a very deep realm step by step, to the realm of characters like Dumbledore and Voldemort.

But the cost is also terrible.

If a wizard is a combination of man and magic, then Snape is the degree to which magic is about to devour man.

If magic is a manifestation of the wizard's mastery of magic, then Snape is the degree to which he is completely mastered by magic.

But the practice of saving Lily is still going on.

This is even a bit like some kind of obsessive earth-bound spirit creature, but the place of binding is time.

Anton watched all this in silence.

Snape used his own experience to teach him a lesson, telling him what the price of magic is.

All the memories of the past quietly surfaced. He watched other people's stories and tasted his own way of learning magic.

A sorcerer is a **** whose will commands everything. (Old Wizard Fiennes)

Only a lunatic can become a wizard, and regret makes firmness. (Voldemort)

Desire makes everything. (Professor McGonagall)

Knowing what you want is more important than exploring magic. (Rosier)

…

These words, the first taste, that is, the wizard must understand his heart and mind, and he must firm up his beliefs.

But looking at Snape, Anton has a deeper understanding of what a wizard is.

The mood of the wizard affects magic. The wizard's magical emotions are also affecting himself. Snape's black magic started because of Lily, it was extinguished because of Lily, and now it was crazy because of Lily.

It was no longer simply because of love to describe Snape's behavior.

Anton even thought of Snape's doe, which was not only love, but also guardian, a reflection of the deepest emotions of the wizard, and especially a shackle.

Our desire for magic has created a patron saint, and magic uses this patron saint to lock us.

…

…

Anton turned to look at Dumbledore, "Is this the essence of magic?"

Dumbledore just shook his head sadly. "That's the price of having magic."

Snape in front of him, Snape who was not tortured by Lily's death, had no idea what he could imagine.

Tom always said that he saw his own shadow in him, that's why he was so wary of him. In fact, Tom can really be wrong, Dumbledore.

Dear, this chapter is not over, and there is another page ^0^ I have never felt this way, he really just doesn't like this kid.

Only Snape, the child who yearned for magic, longed to follow the devil to change the world, was finally imprisoned on death row by the beloved woman for a lifetime...

This is your true shadow.

Dear, this chapter is over, I wish you a happy reading! ^0^