The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Translator: imperfectluck  Editor: Kurisu

Bardi, the Mist Alliance, Auland, and the Mage Country. These four mega empire-level factions were carrying out a joint military operation for the first time. This would doubtlessly attract a great deal of international attention.

In a way, this alliance was now the second strongest faction in the mortal plane, so naturally its every movement would attract everyone’s attention.

That was right, only the second strongest. As long as the Holy Church didn’t do something overly foolish, and the God of Holy Light remained alive, nobody else would possibly be the strongest faction in the mortal plane.

Fairies were running around the banquet hall while carrying photography crystals. Everyone else carefully avoided these mystical paparazzi. Anyone who accidentally antagonized the fairy reporters would probably end up worse than when antagonizing a king.

A king would at most put you in jail. Meanwhile, the fairies were everywhere, and would never rest at any hour of the day. They could easily ruin your reputation.

The most famous and ridiculous such incident was about an unlucky noble who had antagonized the fairies.

The fairies had reported how a certain powerful earl in San Antonio would casually slaughter his own domain’s citizens as he pleased. This earl got angry and banned all fairy news outposts and information exchange centers from his domain. After that, news started spreading that he was having an affair with his son-in-law… that was right, son-in-law. San Antonio’s nobles felt that being bisexual was really cool.

That was only the beginning. When the earl’s furious daughter confronted him over his affair with her husband, a new report came out that the earl’s daughter wasn’t actually his at all. It turned out that the earl’s wife had been cheating on him with one of her personal guard knights.

This stunned both the earl and the daughter. They had lived for 30 years as father and daughter already without knowing that they weren’t related by blood, yet the fairies had still somehow discovered such information.

The earl didn’t even have the time to be happy (?) when even more astonishing news struck them.

The fairies then reported how the daughter’s really handsome and beardless husband was actually the earl’s illegitimate son, whose mother was a maid as well as the earl’s true love. Thus, the earl had been having an affair with his own son without realizing it.

It was said that in the end, the earl, his daughter, and her husband all decided to be together as one family without regards to how wrong things were.

This was too ridiculous to even be described by the phrase “the powerful have messy lives”. This was messy to the point where I could barely handle it. At the time, I had responded without using a single comma to pause. “These nobles have such messed up lifestyles that my eyes are being blinded so could you nobles please be a little more normal and care about basic morality because if you’re like this I’ll lose my confidence in humanity and it will affect world peace so that’s no good…”

Once this news started spreading, countless people reacted in a similar fashion to Roland, either spitting out their drink or food. Normal people had once again underestimated the lack of morals some people could have along with how messy noble lifestyles could be.

Due to this incident, the royalty of every human country all banded together to pressure the fairies. Human rulers were no saints, and every ruler had done something before which they wouldn’t want publicized.

The fairies’ actions made the human royalty start to panic.

The end result was that the fairies compromised. They didn’t have any combat strength of their own, after all. Even if the fairies would still be fine if they antagonized all human royalty everywhere, the fairies would no longer be able to continue their information trade.

The conclusion was that the fairies normally wouldn’t report on the royalty and nobles’ private affairs. The fairies would first send their news reports to the local royalty for approval first, and only report after receiving approval… Did this all seem familiar? Yes, this was indeed quite similar to how certain countries back on Earth would censor the news and information.

Of course, the fairies also received various benefits from this, such as credibility due to the local government’s support and the permission to sell their magazines and newspapers everywhere.

These mystical paparazzi were liked as well as hated and even feared.

The fairies also knew that others didn’t like them. They never cared about receiving recognition from others when gathering their information. This time, since so many powerful individuals from different countries had all gathered together, many fairies in charge of reporting on information in various countries had also gathered together.

The fairies were used to powerful individuals ignoring or disliking them. However, what the fairies didn’t expect was that this time, someone actually voluntarily invited them to report on something.

Normally, a banquet such as this would be for everyone to interact a little with each other before dispersing and preparing for the upcoming battle.

However, some people remained behind at my request after everyone else had left. Those remaining behind were the higher-ups of each country as well as powerful individuals who I felt were trustworthy enough.

Since I also saw the fairies, I naturally invited them to report on everything. I was basically holding a press conference.

“…Since everyone here knows who I am already, I won’t waste any words. Recently, I’ve been running all over the world and even had two fights against a Chaos Main God. There were reasons for this. Maybe you all still feel that life is pretty good right now, and that we’ll obtain victory in the end even if it’s a little difficult. However, I’m going to tell you that such a way of thinking is ridiculous. It’s very possible that tomorrow will be the end of the world…”

Actually, I never understood the main characters of video games and anime.

Even though they clearly went through so many life-and-death experiences, successfully unraveling the demon king’s scheme to destroy the world, the hero would decide to challenge the demon king by themselves, risking their life to stop the demon king’s final plans.

Or, the hero would attack together with only a tiny party of allies, limited by an arbitrary head count, against the demon king. This sounded quite cool and moving, but when thinking about it more carefully, it would actually be incredibly foolish.

Since the demon king wanted to destroy the world, why not publicize such information and have the military, police, and other professionals deal with things instead? Wouldn’t that be far safer than risking your own life, and also more likely to succeed?

Why try and forcibly make the final battle against the demon king a duel or fight with only a few individuals?

This world didn’t belong to only one person. Since someone was suicidal enough to try and destroy the world, then it would be far wiser to let everyone know to target the demon king and use human-wave tactics instead.

“…I don’t know what will happen if Karwenz destroys the dimensional barrier. You guys can imagine the rest by yourselves…”

I brought out my prepared speech and told them the facts for more than half an hour. I started from when the Goddesses of Order and Chaos started their conflict with each other, all the way to Karwenz’s foolishness and the clues about the Chaos Girls.

In the past, many had described calamities as the end or destruction of the world, but usually, such a situation was only about having a new ruling species and new God dominate the world. This time, however, Eich truly would be finished if Karwenz accomplished his goal.

I swore on all this in the name of the Holy Light and also provided plenty of evidence. In addition, I brought up how prophecy archmage Akama had been immediately assassinated after arranging a time to meet with me.

The more I said, the worse the kings and nobles’ expressions became. I also heaved a sigh of relief to see their expressions change.

Now that I had tossed the responsibility onto others, as long as they didn’t want to die with the world, they would begin to voluntarily help me find, stop, and kill Karwenz.

The fairies were also recording my press conference with their memory crystals. Soon, they would be spreading my information here through their channels to all over the world. At that time, Karwenz could finally experience what it would be like as the #1 public enemy of the world.

Wanting to live was the most basic instinct of life. Anyone who was still sane would want to live. It would be quite difficult for them to agree with Karwenz’s goal. Perhaps even Karwenz’s “allies” would soon be turning on him.

“Hmph, the main characters of video games and anime aren’t that smart at all. My method is the correct and proper method.”

Me, go into single combat against Karwenz? I wasn’t that bored with my life. I wasn’t Karwenz’s happy-go-lucky type of “Having fun was the most important while the end results weren’t important at all.” To me, after working so hard already, only the result was the most important. I felt that the end justified the means.

“Actually, if you change this story slightly, it really is just like a video game or anime. You see, Karwenz is the one fighting by himself against the world, which makes him the main character on the side of justice. Meanwhile, you’re the one gathering countless subordinates to impede and attack him with strength of numbers, which makes you the demon king.”

As always, Harloys’ comment was sharp and swift. It was truly difficult for me to counter her words. Every time this happened, I really missed her cat form.

“Meow? Cats are cute? You actually have a normal sense of beauty?”

“Yes, cats feel wonderful, especially when I curl a certain silly cat up into a ball and kick her away!”