The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Translator: imperfectluck  Editor: Kurisu

“Holy Light, do you see this evil? They’re far too strong… Why did they all collapse already?”

The scene of a heroic knight wielding a sword while charging toward an evil dragon would always be the most hot-blooded scene in any myth or story. But if the scene changed instead to become a fully armed adult bullying an animal, that would make people rather speechless.

“You’re supposed to be dragons! You’re supposed to be strong; you’re supposed to know how to fly; you’re supposed to be big lizards that can spit fire! Why are you all so weak?!”

No matter what species of dragon, they were all incredibly durable due to their thick skin. I had originally intended to use the dwarven fortress’s long-range attacks to weaken them slightly before personally going up to have a big fight against the dragons, which would help improve my standing with the dark dwarves and maybe help me obtain some resources or equipment.

“Just a single round of anti-air attacks made you all seriously injured, and then you all collapsed after two attacks from me. Are you really dragons?”

Even though the three black dragons that arrived were suddenly ambushed right when they emerged from the clouds, and even though the anti-air attacks all directly aimed for their weakest spots due to my guidance, these three black dragons had been defeated far too quickly.

They had indeed resisted, charging through all the anti-air fire and aiming for the ground (actually, they had wanted to explain that they had come to help the dark dwarves), but unfortunately for them, they picked the wrong target to charge at. Since I was standing at the very forefront in the most obvious location as a Holy Knight, I was delighted at this opportunity to improve my reputation with the dark dwarves.

But when I happily pulled out my sword, I didn’t even get to have any fun when the three black dragons were all defeated with just two swings of my sword…

“Did you use too much power in your attacks?” Harloys asked.

“Of course not. I’m such a skilled actor; of course I would know how much power to put into my attacks. I used enough force to only hurt an adult dragon for about half an hour… In my original plan, I was supposed to defeat them only after a long and difficult battle. Those dragons weren’t following the script!”

But soon, I understood why they were so weak…

“Half a tail, a single eye, and a broken wing? Just what happened to you all?”

These injuries weren’t that easy to cause to adult black dragons. The magic left on their injuries was preventing these black dragons’ natural healing powers from working. These three black dragons had already been seriously injured before coming here.

Now, the three black dragons all collapsed on top of each other. The dwarves had chained them up using specially enchanted black iron chains. These black dragons looked like a small mountain under those chains.

Their situation was rather pitiful as they lay on the ground listlessly. It was no exaggeration to say that they only had the energy to barely talk. Even I felt pity for them, seeing how they still had to come out and make a living despite their serious injuries.

“Tsk, they’ve all been scorched and cooked black all over. A really powerful dragon must have done this to them.”

“Black dragons are black to begin with, but I can smell the scent of cooked meat. They’ve been cooked to at least seventy percent well done.”

“These claw and teeth marks, along with these burns and the fire magic on their injuries… Why does it all seem so familiar?”

“Of course it would be familiar. Only an Immemorial Red Dragon and grandmaster of fire magic would be able to cook black dragons who have an astonishingly high magic resistance.”

By now, I already had a faint guess at who had done this to the three black dragons. However, I was distracted by the scent of cooked meat in front of me.

“…You don’t say. Smelling this cooked dragon meat reminds me of the black dragon tail feast I had two days ago. I really want to vomit again.”

“Actually, I’m not that picky. Dragon meat is highly nutritious and filled with mana. It doesn’t matter that much to a slime like myself about what I eat.”

Finally, the black dragons were unable to bear their captors discussing the taste of dragon meat right in front of them.

“Um, Miss Cat, black dragon meat is poisonous and inedible.”

The pitiful captive had to explain to the captor that her own meat was toxic. This was quite the comical scene.

Forget it, I decided against spreading salt on their wounds… er, chatting about such a topic right in front of three black dragon ladies. Their melancholic and hurt expressions were too much for me to handle.

Yep, black dragon ladies. These three black dragons were all female, and it seemed that they were sisters.

Perhaps outsiders would be unable to determine a dragon’s age and gender, but I had been around dragons for half my life already. It was quite easy for me to determine a dragon’s bloodline and power level from their magical aura, especially if the dragon was a black or red dragon as they were so common in the Underground… Hey, I really didn’t have the habit of dissecting dragons! Those rumors of me being the “Midnight Dragon Slaughterer” were all just lies and slander!

What? You’re asking me why I didn’t differentiate dragons by physical appearance? That would be far too difficult. Just think about it. Gorillas are one of the closest related species to humans. But, is there any normal person who can determine a gorilla individual and their gender just from physical appearance?

Hakas was a mature adult dragon who had reached adult age more than two hundred years ago. In comparison, these young female black dragons had likely just left their nest recently and just gained independence. Their magical power was quite pitiful.

In human terms, Hakas could be considered an adult who had already learned how to play around with some small magic tricks and natural talents. These three black dragons were just like hot-blooded delinquent teenagers who relied purely on instinct when fighting.

However, younger dragons also had their advantages. They were smaller, so they were more agile. Their reflexes would also be faster. Plus, no dragon would be weak at melee with their sharp fangs, claws, and dragonbreath. However, since they had still come to a battlefield with such serious injuries, and even voluntarily started a fight against a high-level Holy Knight like myself, it was quite evident that they were basically the equivalent of feeders in video games.

And when I asked them what they were doing here, they wouldn’t tell me. All they talked about were other topics. It was quite obvious that they were someone else’s subordinates and that they couldn’t make their own decisions.

But even though they weren’t telling me anything, I could guess their goal. Still, now that they had been defeated and captured, and said that they were here to help the dark dwarves, that was no different from them finding an excuse to surrender with zero pride.

“Save me, Boss! There’s such a vicious dragon after me!”

Just as I was thinking about Hakas, I heard him screaming for help in midair.

I looked up and saw him speedily flying through the sky towards me. Behind him was a rather familiar red figure…

“Hey, that’s Little R—”

I unhesitatingly covered Harloys’ mouth before she could finish. The dark dwarves were still right next to me. While they already knew that I had enslaved Hakas, it would be impossible for me to explain my connection to Little Red. Not to mention, for the sake of my plan, I had to…

“A big red dragon! That’s an evil red dragon, one of my main goals in the Chaos Abyss!”

I unhesitatingly transformed into my War Angel form and flew right up into the sky while summoning Holy Light, making me seem like a meteor of Holy Light streaking through the sky.

The dark dwarves below me were all excited as they probably thought I was about to use some ultimate ability. However, my real goal was to prevent anyone else from seeing what I was about to do.

Little Red unhesitatingly greeted me with a tremendous amount of dragonbreath that covered me completely. Many screams could be heard from the dwarves below, but her dragonbreath had zero heat or attack power to it.

“Hey, what do you have your eyes on?” Little Red asked me.

“What treasures do the lizardmen have that you would make such a scheme?”

We asked each other basically the same thing simultaneously, making us both feel rather helpless. Were we truly such excellent robber partners with great tacit cooperation? And, we two robbers had both set our sights on the same goal?

“The lizardmen possess a mystical treasure that’s connected to dragon bloodlines. Their treasure is capable of summoning and enslaving high-level dragons. I suspect that it’s a God Equipment. It’s surely a SemiGod Equipment at minimum. I want it. It’s mine!”

“The dwarves have many accumulated magic metals from all their years of mining here. I need some top-quality resources to make my magic swords, and there’s also a fixed point and safe teleportation portal in their fortress.”

We swiftly exchanged our goals and information with each other. However, what everyone else saw was that the angel form Holy Knight was having a major battle against an angry red dragon.

As we were supposed to be “mortal enemies”, we naturally started fighting each other without need for communication. Holy Light illuminated half the sky, while the red dragon’s roars shook the entire land. Just the shock waves and flying dragonbreath managed to melt an entire nearby mountain!

The dark dwarves below were running for their lives. Such a powerful existence was far beyond their ability to handle. They’d already known that an Immemorial Red Dragon would be so powerful, but they’d never expected that this Holy Knight who seemed like such a nice idiot was actually this strong!

“Those three black dragons are your subordinates now?”

“That idiotic black dragon was under your command?”

Alright, we had adventured together for so many years already that no extra words were needed. We already perfectly understood what each other intended. It was quite obvious that we had both intended to obtain all the treasures from both the dark dwarves and the lizardmen.

“Let’s split things 50-50?”

“Deal! The lizardmen’s God Equipment belongs to me. I’ll give you some extra to make up for it.”

We instantly came to an accord. The next instant, I opened up my wings and gathered Holy Light while roaring angrily.

“Ahhhhh!!! Evil must be judged! Take my… my great holy sword!”

Glorious Holy Light transformed into a mega-sword that sliced right at Little Red’s wings. Although this appeared like a tremendously powerful attack, the Holy Light I summoned was actually at the weakest level with zero attack power.

However, Little Red acted perfectly and fell out of the sky. She even lit some own smoke and flames on herself where she was “sliced” by the Holy Light as if it had actually burned her.

“Damned Holy Light insect! How many times can you use such a powerful attack? Just you wait, insect, be careful for your head! I shall take my revenge! I will return!”

Little Red left behind those classical villain lines. She didn’t even glance at the young black dragons who were hopefully looking teary-eyed in her direction as she crookedly flew away.

And when I landed on the ground, what greeted me was the dark dwarves’ tremendous delight which made me feel rather embarrassed.

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