The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Translator: imperfectluck  Editor: Pranav

Ladvioka, Lord of Putrefaction, was one of the oldest Demon Lords and one of the most powerful existences in the Chaos Faction—no—in the entire universe. Throughout the many generations, he had steadfastly carried out the demons’ most basic tasks of conquering and slaughtering more times than he could count.

As a top-level existence in the demon food chain, he rarely got chances to personally take action. Unless a dimensional will was blind, it would reject the arrival of a mega-dangerous existence like the Lord of Putrefaction. And any time he did get to personally take action, the demons’ conquest of that plane would be upgraded into complete and utter destruction. The demons’ slaughter of that plane’s residents would become the extinction of all species and lifeforms in that plane.

Ladvioka himself no longer remembered how many of the myriad planes he had conquered and destroyed. Now, he treated his destruction of dimensions as an artform—well, an artform only demons would admire.

“Although it’s fun to directly tear apart those little worms and I admit I do enjoy slaughtering and fresh blood, plagues and infectious diseases can also help us achieve our goal. The former requires an entire demon army, while the latter only requires a single small mouse infected with a virus or plague. The only regret I have is that I’ll be unable to personally listen to those pathetic worms howling in despair. Hah! That’s why I always take a few souls back with me and toy with them slowly, asking them how they enjoyed their slow and inevitable deaths.”

This rather unknown Demon Lord was actually far more effective than his brethren at spreading death and despair. Once the dimension was near death, writhing in agony, its laws would be unable to stop Ladvioka’s arrival. He would then gleefully harvest the souls that died in utmost despair. Ladvioka even considered himself a humble farmer who had obtained a great harvest after a year’s worth of hard work.

“Hey don’t look at me like that. I’m just a nice demon who happened to pass by. It would be a pity to waste so many delicious souls. I’m simply a hard-working, kind farmer. You’re blaming me for spreading the plague and infectious diseases? Did any of you personally witness that? I’m simply sensitive to planes nearing their dooms. Yep, not only am I a good farmer, but I’m also a hard-working janitor who loves to help clean up the dimensions.”

Not a single individual would dare blame him, but Ladvioka loved to give such excuses and lie even though a powerful existence like himself had no need to. This was simply his way of having fun.

Now, however, this ‘destroyer-of-countless-planes’ Ladvioka was shocked—truly shocked—for the first time in millennia. With his abilities, he wouldn’t think that this black mist was a mere toxic fog. Nor was this the first time that dimensional laws had viewed him with enmity and tried to get rid of him. Yet…

“…Only the dead are allowed to exist? This is the first time I’ve seen such an unfriendly dimensional law. The Undead Emperors’ Undead Planes have environments that aren’t suitable for the living, but even they don’t outright reject the existence of the living. If this plane directly transforms all lives into the dead, how is the plane supposed to exist? What value does it have for existing?”

Unlike what people would assume of a Chaos Main God-level existence, Ladvioka’s mind wasn’t only filled with thoughts of destruction and slaughter. He was very interested in philosophies on the meaning of life. In fact, he had earned actual titles in philosophy and history in the mortal plane. His personal Divine Kingdom in the Chaos Abyss, which was rather different from other demons’ territories, was his most successful experimental field.

If that was his most successful, then were there experiments that weren’t successes? Of course. Demons weren’t exactly known for being creators. Ladvioka’s favorite hobby was to insert new dimensional laws after destroying an entire dimension’s resistance and lifeforms. Some dimensional laws he inserted were stolen from other dimensions, some were from the twisted and distorted Chaos Abyss and some were even his wondrous and weird inventions. He would then allow these dimensional laws to naturally spread and evolve on their own, watching to see what types of living creatures and results would appear in the end.

The world believed he was a Chaos Main God who possessed merely four dimensions—he was an unbelievably low-profile demon for a Main God-level existence. However, he actually possessed several hundred dimensions he used for experiments. He was truly a “farmer” who worked hard every day.

“Although he’s a demon, he’s actually trying to act like the Goddess of Creation? Is he insane?”

“All demons are insane, and the more powerful a Demon Lord is, the more insane they’ll be. You actually want to try using logic and common sense to understand their way of thinking?”

There was no way he would be a kind creator. His distorted dimensional laws only created the most distorted of creatures. They breathed toxins and ate the plague itself; even if they possessed kind hearts and beautiful appearances, they were the bringers of death.

And so the powerful Demon Earl’s favorite hobby was to be a “zookeeper”. Although he would usually destroy his creations and dimensions in the end, he had gained many beloved “pets” over an untold number of years’ worth of accumulation. In the ninth through thirteenth layers of the Chaos Abyss where he resided, at least, distorted lifeforms could be found everywhere. Even demons wouldn’t dare tread in these layers, which were considered the most dangerous in the Chaos Abyss.

At the current moment, Ladvioka was astonished to discover that this newly forming dimension had a dimensional law which only brought about death.

He thought and thought about why this new dimension had such a strange law. Why was death the most foundational building block for souls here? Could it be that this dimension only allowed the dead to exist? But could this dimension establish a stable cycle, then? And the other dimensional laws were complex as well, more so than other dimensions, why…?

“…Mine! All mine!”

Fine then. He only thought about it for two seconds before his demon nature overcame him. No matter if he understood it or not, he wanted to first obtain it for himself. And if he was truly unable to understand it, then he would just destroy it!

“Get out of the way, idiots!”

When he decided to obtain this dimension at all possible costs, he began emitting an astonishingly rancid stench. The retreating demons didn’t even have time to react before they clutched at their mouths and collapsed on the ground. Even demons far away suddenly had toxins within their bodies, causing them to directly collapse as well.

“Come out and play, my children! It’s time to enjoy a feast.”

After casually dealing with the cannon fodder demons, which cleared some space and provided a sacrifice, several hundred Dimensional Doors opened.

*Wu! Wu!*[1]

Headless war elephant monsters walked out of the Dimensional Doors. Twisted whiskers sprouted from where their heads should have been, and their bodies were as large as mountains and covered with black dragonscales. An Inferno Giant that didn’t dodge in time was directly stomped to death… More than three hundred such war elephant monsters rushed out of the Dimensional Doors.

A rotting Dimensional Door brought another angel squadron into this world. Although these angels weren’t as ice-cold as their heavenly relatives, their decaying appearances, exposed internal organs and wings with hordes of magical insects biting upon them were frightening to behold. When these angels suddenly opened their eyes, it could be seen that they had compound eyes, like insects. Even their eyes and ears were filled with crawling distorted magical insects. Some of these angels directly ignored their tiny “companions,” while other angels tossed magical insects into their mouths.

Through a Dimensional Door so tiny that only a gnome would be able to pass through it a seemingly pure white-haired girl emerged. Her entire body was tightly chained up, her eyelids sewn permanently shut and her bright red lips gagged. When the other distorted magical monsters witnessed her appearance, even the largest among them ran at top speed for their lives. Those who ran even slightly slow started exploding mysteriously before their corpses were enveloped by strange mushrooms and plants. Countless “honeybees” emerged from these plants and then started seeking new nutrition for their “mother”.

Yet another Dimensional Door opened, with some even more fearsome magical monster appearing…

Many Dimensional Doors opened as utterly unreasonable existences walked out. A mysterious sense of fear enveloped the entire field. This was the full power of a Chaos Main God. And this was the most troublesome part about fighting against a demon—nobody would know when this guy would start going crazy and suddenly going all-out!

Such a powerful existence would naturally be capable of distorting the dimensional laws around him. Ladvioka was more than capable of resisting the still immature dimensional law of death. Once these distorted monsters from other planes filled their entire field of vision, all lives felt as if they were gazing at their own personal Armageddon.

“…This is a Chaos Main God?”

I took a deep breath at the sight before me. I had many inferences and plans made against these highest-level existences, but only when I truly faced one did I learn that just their very existences were incomprehensible for any mortal.

“Yep. That’s one of the strongest demons among demons, a Chaos Main God-level demon, an existence loathed by the countless dimensions. Although I don’t know why he suddenly brought out the full extent of his true power, allow me to go have some fun with this old friend of mine.”

The Lord of Lies then nodded as he took off his hat and bowed in a polite fashion. He intended to directly enter the battlefield. To him, this despairing situation was nothing more than a cup of afternoon tea. After all, he too was a Chaos Main God existence, and his power level exceeded that of the insane Lord of Putrefaction!

“Wait a moment, let me deal with the Lord of Putrefaction.”

As the overall commander for our side in this battle, I overruled Kamiltias and made the decision to take this opponent for myself. I would be dealing with this demon vanguard who had suddenly gone crazy and brought out his full strength.

“…Will that really be alright?”

Kamiltias obviously doubted my capabilities to face Ladvioka, a Chaos Main God. This was understandable. No matter how you looked at it, I was only a bit over three hundred years old, yet I intended to challenge a Chaos Main God whose age could be calculated in eons. This did appear rather suicidal. But it was indeed the best choice for my overall strategy.

“Of course. I’ll leave the Chaos War God up to you. He’ll be even harder for me to deal with. No, I should say that he’s the number one existence I don’t want to face here.”

Indeed. Karwenz, who had unknown powers and motives, could be set aside for the time being. The God of Holy Light also obviously intended to sit on the sidelines to reap an advantage while we fought. However, according to records of Chaos War God Donatis’s previous achievements, he was an incredibly skilled warrior who excelled at singlehandedly piercing through enemy formations and directly taking the head of the overall commander. His direct confrontation strength was said to be ranked foremost throughout all the planes in existence. It would be the worst for me if I had to face him directly since I was more of a tactical commander who focused on the big picture.

I had zero intentions of personally learning just why Donatis was ranked the first. And his fallen heroic spirit army was judged to be dead by my dimensional law, so that wouldn’t work against him at all. All death magic had extremely low effectiveness against heroic spirits to begin with. If Donatis and his army directly made a beeline for me or tried to destroy my ceremony to create a new dimension, I wouldn’t be able to do much.

So I requested the strongest individual on our side, the Lord of Lies, to stall this troublesome opponent. Although Ladvioka, the Lord of Putrefaction, would also be inconceivably powerful, his strongest abilities were poison and plague, which would be rather ineffective against my undead armies. I was used to large-scale military battles, so I would never be afraid of an enemy who also relied on large numbers of underlings. I would have much more of an advantage in this type of battle… especially compared to fighting against Donatis. I already had more than enough of all sorts of unreasonable heroes and War Gods.

Kamiltias was more than intelligent enough to realize all this without me telling him. He also knew that this would be the best tactical choice. However, he was still worried that Ladvioka would kill me like swatting a fly, which would ruin the entire situation. But when he saw how insistent I was, he simply nodded and disappeared into the void.

“Long time no see. I believe that the last time we met was three thousand and two hundred years ago. Is that right, my dear ‘War God’ who loves acting as a loyal dog?”

The Devil King blocked the Chaos War God. Angels swirled in the air, choosing the immemorial devil army as their opponents. The difference in numbers made the God of Holy Light’s incarnation choose to wait and observe. On a certain corner of the battlefield, a certain younger twin of mine was happily cooking his fish soup. He ignored everything going around him and was in turn ignored by everyone as well.

And now, as the horns of death trumpeted, my armies had gathered. My undead armies were about to clash against the most venomous of magical monsters. It was time for an all-out battle between me and Ladvioka.

“Ha! A large-scale military battle? You want to see who’s better at creating new species? Do you really want to know whose children are stronger? Ahahaha that’s an easy question to answer.”

[1] ED/N: I thought long and hard about an onomatopoeia for the sounds headless giant elephant monsters make and drew a blank. And when in doubt, stick to the raws xD

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