The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Translator: imperfectluck  Editor: Pranav

“…You’re not following Holy Light, but Holy Light still takes care of you. No—it should be said that the Source of Order is taking care of you. This isn’t necessarily a good thing…”

I was surprised at Harloys’ final comment. However, no matter how much I asked her about it, she would only respond vaguely.

“…I still need to think more on this matter. Now’s not the time for you to know. If you trust me, then don’t force me to tell you with the magical pet contract. Otherwise, many things will become far more troublesome.”

Since she said so, I decided to give up asking her despite my curiosity… Even my typically not-so-sharp senses told me that Harloys was telling the truth—that continuing to ask might cause me great amounts of trouble.

“Fine—fine—tell me when you’re finished thinking about it. I’m not such a stickler that I’ll force you.”

I waved my hand to dispel my feelings of helplessness and being stuck in a quagmire as I could sense that I was potentially playing with fire. I then focused on the notepad in my hand, which listed the goals I had made for myself to complete in Dragon World. However, my accomplishment rate was rather worrisome.

1: Obtain the Foundational Elemental Items of Dragon World. Obtain a minimum of one, but the more the better. (Absolutely necessary.)

2: Obtain one absolutely top-level item of each element. The higher quality the better. The best would be the four God Equipment of the Elements. (Absolutely necessary.)

3: Establish a stable base in Dragon World so that the young warriors can train and quickly improve in power level. (Low priority. Can be done in my free time.)

4: Improve my power level to at least Myth rank. (Absolutely necessary.)

5: Have the devils enter Dragon World. (Originally absolutely necessary, but considering the devils’ terrible reputation, I suppose that this should be optional, although it will be difficult to explain to Ayer if I don’t have the devils arrive here.)

6: Final step: Notify Orloss to activate the ‘grand scheme.’ There’s no more turning back after this step.

As for making Dragon City send reinforcements to the combat situation in Bardi? That was never in my goals to begin with. It would be nice if I could have the dragons send aid, but if I couldn’t, I didn’t need to worry about a thing at all. With my deep understanding of Orloss, I refused to believe that a sly old fox like him would roll over and die so easily.

After spending all this time in Dragon World, my other goals were either completed or in progress. Things seemed to be going well, but one of my absolutely necessary goals was now in a quagmire. I couldn’t be happy due to this.

“It’s impossible to speed up the process of progressing in power level. But if I really have no other choice, I suppose I could take a shortcut through my System. Although taking shortcuts will most likely result in me not having a stable foundation, it can’t be helped if that’s the case.”

The System informed me that I only needed to give her Fate Points to improve my power level. However, she also told me that her type of leveling up wouldn’t be as effective as me achieving the understanding I needed on my own to level up. My energy level had already reached the standard necessary to breakthrough. My Law and Holy Light Soul Imprints had already been fixed thanks to the Source of Order watching over me. My undead magic Soul Imprint had been restored as well. My ice magic Soul Imprint was the only one I was stuck on, but it shouldn’t take me much longer. Using my System to make a breakthrough here would bring me too many disadvantages.

“As for the Foundational Elemental Items of Dragon World, the dragons must have obtained all four after ruling this place for so many years. It’s quite possible that they’ll give me one, but it’ll be far more difficult for them to give me two as that represents equally sharing the right to rule this dimension with me. But it’ll be a great help to me if I can obtain two. Perhaps it’s time to have a good discussion with my new allies…”

It was far too difficult to be a proper major antagonist these days. The major antagonist would have to spend so much effort creating an excellent villainous scheme with no flaws as well as find loyal, reliable and hard-working subordinates that wouldn’t be easily converted to the hero’s side with a simple talk of some sort. The major antagonist would also have to show up early to kill off some mooks to let people know of his existence. In the middle of the story, the major antagonist would always send out subordinates equal to the hero’s strength almost as if he was helping the hero level up…

Right, there were also antagonists that told the heroes classical lines such as “I am your father” or “You’re actually the legendary ______” all in order to show off how special the hero was. At the critical moment, the antagonist would naturally expose their greatest weakness, such as telling the hero or their daughter about the location of a divine weapon capable of killing themself… And why was it that the antagonist always had a daughter? Why was it that a demon king’s daughter would forever become the hero’s girlfriend in these types of stories?

The antagonist would work hard for so many years, but their scheme would always fail at the last step. The final boss always died because they liked to talk too much… and would even leave behind some top-level equipment after their death, supporting the heroes in their journey.

How, in any possible way, was this what a major antagonist was supposed to be like? They all treated the heroes so well, as if they were the heroes’ parents!

“I never understood how antagonists, who are so skilled at scheming, always mysteriously get killed off by simple-minded heroes in the end. My scheme is perfect. I have countless subordinates, and I’ve been scheming from behind the scenes for so long. I, Roland, shall never be defeated so easily and incomprehensibly!”

“…Emperor Yongye and Adam.”

Alright then, when Harloys mentioned this, I instantly recalled the past and all my passion vanished. In fact, I now recalled that I had raised more than one disciple who had personally killed me.

“That was an accident; there are reasons for that…”

“Still, it happened. And it was all your fault, wasn’t it?”

I found myself unable to counter what the silly cat said. I only wanted to be alone by myself; don’t ask me why…

Cough—cough—getting back on topic, although I always had countless plans in motion, this particular grand scheme of mine was quite thorough. I chose the best people to carry out my scheme, so it definitely wouldn’t fail.

“…Your Highness Roland, bad news. Lady Elisa has returned from the Fire Elemental Plane. She failed to retrieve the God Equipment of Water!”

“What? She’s the Fire Sea Marchioness, and she was the fire elemental demon who had acquired her position by walking on top of the previous Fire Elemental God. She actually failed in the Fire Elemental Plane? Could this be the legendary 2% failure when the obsidian treasure chest is supposed to have a 98% success rate? Is our luck that terrible?”

“…I think it’s the curse of you being a jinxer.”

“It’s not my fault!”

But once I read the detailed report, I understood what happened. This really wasn’t at all Elisa’s fault.

Any lifeform that chose to embrace Chaos was capable of becoming a demon—even elemental creatures. However, if an Elemental God became fallen and transformed into a demon, that Elemental God would naturally be rejected by their Elemental Plane. Even an Elemental God would lose the favor of the Elemental Throne and their Godhood if they became a demon.

After the original Fire Elemental God had perished, the Fire Elemental Lords became busy fighting each other to determine who was the strongest. But if the “original successor to the Fire Elemental God” arrived, the situation would be… to use an analogy, it was as if the previous emperor died, so all the domain lords started fighting over who would be the next ruler. But suddenly a prince appeared and said that he was the rightful successor. This would naturally make all the domain lords band together to deal with this prince.

Actually, the Fire Elemental Lords already knew about Elisa. They noticed her presence the moment that she had arrived in the Fire Elemental Plane. And so all the Fire Elemental Lords came looking for her together. In fact, even the dimensional will suppressed this former Fire Elemental Lord that had “fallen to become a demon.” When faced with the enmity of an entire dimension, it would be impossible for even a Demon Prince to deal with, much less a Demon Marchioness. All Elisa could do was turn and run away.

“It would seem that I chose the wrong person for the job? Should I contact her and soothe her emotions?”

“…I feel that you’re the person she wants to see least right now.”

Thinking about her forceful personality, I could only silently nod in agreement. But then I felt that I should contact her soon regardless. This was such a rare chance for me to laugh at her! Elisa always made fun of me, and this was my opportunity to have some revenge!

I obtained much information about top-level elemental items from the Great Stone Sculptor. However, the highest-quality items would be the God Equipment of the Elements or the Elemental Thrones themselves, so those would naturally be the best choices. However, obtaining an Elemental Throne would be far too difficult as I would have to face off against both an Elemental God and the entire Elemental Plane’s dimensional will. So of course I focused instead on obtaining the God Equipment of the Elements. After all, very few even knew of their existence, so this should have been the most likely part of my plan to succeed. Instead, this part directly failed together with Elisa failing to obtain the God Equipment of Water.

The God Equipment of Fire was stuck in the Water Elemental Plane. The Water Elemental Plane was a completely water-based world with no land, so almost no land-based species would be able to enter and survive in that environment. The few strong enough to survive permanently underwater would also have their power levels seriously reduced. I didn’t even bother sending anyone to the Water Elemental Plane because of this.

The God Equipment of Wind… was currently in Camdian’s possession, given to him for his assistance with the God Equipment of Earth. Borrow it from Camdian? This was something related to his very life. If I even mentioned the topic of borrowing it from him, he would be on guard and perhaps even directly form a grudge against me.

The God Equipment of Earth was naturally in the possession of the new Earth Elemental God, the Sand Worm King “Little Sandy.” As I recalled his mountainous size, I felt like his name was truly awkward. While I did tell a certain Beast Tamer to go and retrieve the God Equipment of Earth, I didn’t have much hope for this. Even if Little Sandy wasn’t very smart, he was still the Earth Elemental God…

“Your Highness, as you wished, the obsidian treasure chest… I’ve obtained the God Equipment of Earth!”

Alright then, it was truly as my System had called me—I was truly like Pele the jinxer. Anyone I felt would succeed ended up failing, while anyone I felt would fail would end up succeeding.

“How did you accomplish it?”

“Oh, Little Sandy is too big and can’t use the God Equipment of Earth. So I simply played with him for a while and he gave it to me.”

“…That was all it took!?”

I was smart enough not to ask what they “played” as the answer would surely be mind-scorching. Still, didn’t Little Sandy trust Beifeng a little too much? Being able to obtain the God Equipment of Earth so easily? Was Beifeng actually the main character, favored by Goddess Eich herself? Was there anything he couldn’t accomplish?

However, I understood why Little Sandy was unable to make use of the God Equipment of Earth. It was a small, exquisite, colorless mage staff. It was the perfect size for me.

“All God Equipment should have the ability to change their size. Why is Little Sandy incapable of using it?”

“…Little Sandy doesn’t have any hands.”

Alright, this reason was so logical I could only agree. And so I directly accepted the staff and tossed it into Frigidwinter Earth. The God Equipment of Earth was emanating tremendous waves of elemental energy, so I was worried that it would attract unwanted attention if I left it outside.

It would be impossible for me to obtain the God Equipment of Wind unless I wanted to kill Camdian. I had just failed in obtaining the God Equipment of Water, and the God Equipment of Fire was in the Water Elemental Plane, an environment none of us were suited for going to. In the end, I only obtained the God Equipment of Earth.

However, I needed one top-level elemental item of each element for my Frigidwinter Earth’s development. Even if the dragons gave me one of the Foundational Elemental Items of Dragon World, I would still need two more elemental items.

“Perhaps it’s time for me to contact the Water Elemental Goddess Aylos. She should be able to help me retrieve the God Equipment of Fire from the Water Elemental Plane, since I have a hostage on my hands…”

Aylos was the immemorial generation Ocean God Sidunwar’s wife. His only hope of revival, the Ocean Bottle, was in my hands. And I was the only person in the world capable of reviving him.

But if I contacted Aylos right now, I probably wouldn’t be able to accomplish anything. After helping us last time in the Earth Elemental Plane, she had left us right away, not giving me the opportunity to extort her. And if I contacted her asking for her to obtain the God Equipment of Fire for us, someone with so many millennia of experience like her would definitely never give it to us unless I revived her husband. And for that…

“Reviving Sidunwar is one of my Myth-ranked Quests. Of course I want to earn some Fate Points and do it. However, I need to hunt down powerful sea beasts and sea monsters to obtain divine power. This is truly difficult.”

I wasn’t actually worried about the sea beasts and monsters themselves. Previously, just the Borealis alone was more than sufficient to kill off several top-level sea monsters. Now that I had three large aerial battleships, why would I have to worry about sea monsters? I was worried about…

“The moment I enter the ocean, that crazy lady will surely start a rampage because of me.”

Actually, not only myself, but even the Borealis didn’t dare anymore to travel over the deep sea. Otherwise, powerful sea monsters would surely show up together with thunderstorms and tornados, followed by a certain Goddess’s personal incarnation.

“As expected of the Goddess who possesses the Divine Concept of Revenge. She really knows how to hold a grudge… wait a moment, one of her Divine Concepts is Revenge. Isn’t that one of my goals for my grand scheme?”

I hesitated for a moment but finally picked up my notepad, adding one more goal to the end.

7: Kill off that crazy Queen of Storms and steal her Divine Concept of Revenge and divine power over the ocean, reviving Sidunwar along the way. (High priority.)

Of course, considering that she was a newly-rising star in the Chaos Faction along with being a powerful Goddess, it would be nigh impossible for me to do this. And so I quietly started writing a letter.

“Boss Ayer, I think there’s something that only you can do. There’s an idiot in our way; you understand how it is. I’m talking about the crazy woman who rules over the blue depths—yep—I’m talking about the woman with the strange hairstyle who even colored her body ridiculously blue. Boss, I should tell you that she’s absurdly arrogant…”

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