The autobiography I wrote cannot be a tragedy

On March 22, 2018, we faced the first round of trade offensive.

On the surface, everything is business as usual in the country. Except for taxi drivers who, as always, analyze the direction, consequences and impact of today's hot headlines at a high level of amateur 9-paragraph analysis, most citizens are doing what they are supposed to do and are not affected at all.

Talking about house prices and games, singing and dancing in Shichahai and drinking coffee.

However, the economy is a political mirror, and panic spread to the stock market almost without delay.

On March 23, global stock markets opened with a general decline.

As of the close, the Dow Jones Index fell by nearly 3%, the Shanghai Composite Index fell by 3.27%, the Hang Seng Index fell by 2.81%, the Nikkei Index fell by more than 3%, and the Korean stock index fell by more than 2%...

"What happened? Why did my eyes suddenly turn green?"

"Sudden chlorogenic color blindness. There is no cure for this disease except short positions. The possible sequelae include crying, chest beating, vomiting three liters of blood, fainting on the spot, and in severe cases, it may even lead to sudden death by jumping off a building."

"Where is the scout? Detective!"

"Haha! Even the gods can't save you, I said so!"

"I woke up so early in the morning that I was caught off guard! I quickly looked at my stock positions. It's okay, okay, it's full. Woohoo~"

"Calm down, calm down, this is just daily eye drops between big countries. In the end, it will be raised high and put down gently. Everyone, hurry up and buy the bottom!"

"You want to trick me into taking over again..."

"I had a premonition in January, and sure enough, I predicted it again! Please pay attention to my next issue of God's Prophecy!"

"It's over, it's over, I'm trapped, please let me go!"

"Is it promised that the stock market this year will be a welfare for capitalism?"

"Don't you know that the stock market is not mainly for providing welfare, but mainly for adjusting the population..."

"Cherish life and stay away from the stock market, Amen~"

"..."

The stock market exploded, and jokers began to add fuel to the flames.

However, they can take the time to tell jokes simply because the subsequent development between the two countries is still unclear.

According to the usual routine of big gangsters fighting each other in the past, it is not unheard of for them to curse each other with their front legs and hold their backs with their back legs.

It's nothing more than asking for a high price and paying back the money on arrival.

If there are more wolves, no one will believe them.

However, many business giants who are well-informed and have a keen sense of smell have already smelled the smoke, and have begun to make intensive preparations to reduce losses...or make a huge fortune!

…

“Condemn anti-globalization actions…”

He couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief... This is a serious matter!

I knew there would be a stock market crash, but I didn’t expect that it would be a worldwide turmoil caused by the strife between two major countries!

Although those who are complaining have jumped out one by one, vowing to ensure that the possibility of further escalation of conflicts is extremely low, and they are optimistic about the future economic situation.

But Meng Lang analyzed from his own profit curve... I am afraid that this fight will get bigger and bigger...

He was a little worried, but also found it funny that he, an insurance salesman, should care about the competition between big countries on the world stage.

"When a grain of ashes of the times falls on an individual's head, it is like a mountain..."

As if he had seen a hill of soft girl coins waving to him, Meng Lang was so happy that he ate an extra tea egg for breakfast.

After breakfast, Meng Lang walked briskly and went to the supermarket humming the tune "I'm rich today".

Induction cooker, pots and pans, oil, salt, sauce and vinegar...

Millet, red beans, flour, eight-treasure porridge, preserved eggs, lean meat, eggs, noodles in clear soup, carrots, cucumbers, tomatoes...

According to the "Healthy People Plan Shopping List" that he had been busy with all night yesterday, Meng Lang pushed a shopping cart and started a sweep.

In the end, I was extravagant and bought two kilograms of prawns and a grouper.

joke! The trade war has started and the economic situation is so grim, why should I use buckles to save a few bucks?

"Hello, the total is 3650. Do you have a membership card?"

"No."

"Members get 20% off. Can I apply for a membership card?"

"manage!"

…

"Huhu~"

Meng Lang returned to the rental house and put down several huge shopping bags in his hands out of breath.

"Huh~ It looks like I really need to exercise..."

Meng Lang sat on the sofa to catch his breath, then took out his mobile phone and opened Xiaohongshu, and started "cooking by himself" for the first time in his life besides the college hotpot...

“Cut the lean meat, preserved eggs and green onions into mince, and use a small amount of starch to mix the lean meat evenly.

Wash the rice, put it into a casserole, add an appropriate amount of water, bring to a boil over high heat, then simmer over low heat for 40 minutes to make porridge.

Add lean meat, add preserved eggs, mix well.

Add an appropriate amount of salt and some chopped green onions, drizzle with sesame oil and serve..."

While watching the instructional video, he was busy chopping vegetables, washing rice and putting it into the pot.

More than half an hour later...

Looking at the pot of indescribable black paste in front of him, Meng Lang fell into deep thinking about life...

The promised “entry-level” minimalist recipe that “all you need is enough”, is this it?

A small amount? Appropriate amount? How many?

Who knows how much this is? Can there be some quantitative nouns that are accurate to the decimal point?

There must be something wrong with the video I clicked on!

Immediately, it was half an hour later...

Looking at the same mysterious paste that exuded an unspeakable smell, Meng Lang finally began to doubt himself.

However, he did not give up. He felt that he had chosen the wrong dish, so he decided to change to a simpler dish of scrambled eggs with tomatoes.

Another half hour...

Meng Lang slumped quietly on the sofa, staring blankly at the ceiling.

Some people are destined not to enter the kitchen. With the same process and the same materials, they can turn delicious ingredients into dark dishes.

No matter how colorful you give it, what it produces will always be a matte black...

The first step of the health care plan encountered unprecedented severe challenges!

…

"Crack!" Meng Lang nibbled on the cucumber in his hand and reluctantly gave up his extravagant hope of "reliable by himself" for the time being.

What if I got food poisoning and received the lunch box in advance? I might not even have time to write today's "autobiography"?

He took out "Alive", and it was time for updates that he loved to see every day.

"Well……"

As soon as he opened the book, half of the cucumber in Meng Lang's hand fell to the ground.

Because he was shocked to find that... the book he opened was completely blank!