Tales of the Reincarnated Lord

"You're so lucky, if you don't have your wife to send you to the Second Affiliated Hospital, you won't be saved..."

"It's dangerous. Fortunately, your wife moved fast and sent you over. If you are two hours late, you will be really helpless..."

When I woke up from a coma, I found that I became a successful example of first aid among patients and nurses in the intensive care unit. In their mouths, if it weren't for my wise and brave wife, 80% of me would be waiting for the ambulance. I passed out in a coma, or I didn’t know which hospital I was taken to by the ambulance to delay the diagnosis and first aid time, maybe I was dead...

Actually, I also wanted to go to the second hospital attached to the emergency department... I really want to say that, lest my wife receives all the credit for her. You know, when I said that when I went to the hospital, she advised me to be patient. It was past ten o’clock. It’s better to go to the hospital tomorrow morning to see the chief physician...

But I can no longer care about entangled with my wife these little things, because I am facing an extremely serious decision concerning the dignity of life. I just had a cardiovascular bypass stent surgery. In order to integrate the stent with the cardiovascular system, the doctor asked me to rest, that is, I must not get out of bed. All activities within six days are on this bed that is one meter wide and two meters long. Carry on, including all eating and drinking Lazar...

I can understand eating and drinking and spreading on a bed, but pulling...I can't think of how to pull it in bed...Fortunately, I have already had a bowel movement last night, so I don't need to think about it for the time being. My wife is looking for a nursing aunt for me to take care of my next hospital stay.

Call my wife over and give her the bank password and stock market account number. By the way, let her go online to the starting point to explain the reason why I temporarily stopped. I fell into a sleepy sleep when I wake up...

It took another day for me to regain some energy, and the nursing aunt was in place, and she seemed to be loyal and honest. In the morning, the doctor asked me if I had a bowel movement during the round of the ward. I honestly said no, so the medicine I had to take at noon was an extra pack of medicine for smoothing the stomach. My wife came over at noon and saw it and said, "What's the matter with taking this medicine? It will cause diarrhea." He threw the medicine aside.

At night, when the nurse came to change the dressing, she asked the nursing aunt if I had it. The nursing aunt said no, and the nurse said that the doctor emphasized that it must be taken. Don't forget to take that packet of medicine to smooth the stomach.

So the nursing aunt found the noon bag, mixed it with the evening bag and let me pour it down...

It was the darkest night in my life. I changed the sheets three times, the quilt cover twice, the clothes and pants were stripped off, and there was a large stack of tissues in my buttocks... a small sneeze or a cough It will cause blowouts. I can’t control my stomach and intestines at all. A forty-year-old man of more than two hundred catties lay in the hospital bed and poked his buttocks so that the nursing aunt cleaned up the excrement again and again. Just like a helpless baby, this made me doubt my life...

When the doctor rounded the ward again in the morning the next day, I expressed my anger and strongly demanded the right to use the toilet. At that moment, I understood the heartbeat of the song "Toilet" and the happiness of sitting on the toilet. … It’s just that the doctor ruthlessly rejected my request, and must not get out of bed for six days, lest the stent in the cardiovascular system will shift and cause them trouble…

My stomach seemed to be upset again. My wife said that she couldn’t buy a large diaper like mine, so she bought a dozen underwear and asked me to directly pull on the underwear, and then cut both sides of the underwear and discard it. It will stain the sheets and make the whole ward and the nurses know that I am on the bed again...

My wife was very happy to tell me the good news. She said that the leave note she wrote to me was recognized by everyone, and the book friends thought her writing was better than me, and she suggested that she write it down...

I curled my lips and ignored her, letting her enjoy herself.

My wife is ten years younger than me. She graduated from Wenda University, majoring in administration. Fengzi got married when I was thirty-one. After marriage, I became a big fat man of more than two hundred catties, which can be said to have half of her credit...

There is no need to talk about married life. My only feeling is that I am tired. I take care of three children, two children and a large baby. His wife is a casual person, she doesn't know how to do housework, she doesn't know how to buy vegetables and cooks, and she won't even do housework. When I gave birth to my son and stayed at home for half a year, I was clamoring to go out to work. I had to quit my job and go home to take care of the children and became a housewife.

After waiting for eight years, my son can go to school. I think I should be liberated. My wife said that one was unsafe, so I gave birth to another daughter...

I... another eight years...

In this way, I went from being a high-spirited engineering director to a fat mansion. The seventh floor was too high without an elevator, and I became more and more lazy to move. Apart from going to the vegetable market to buy vegetables and some necessary outings, I don't really want to go downstairs.

Why would I become a big fat man of more than two hundred catties? This is due to my wife and two children, who have exactly the same problems and are picky eaters. And you have to eat fresh ones. Don’t eat them overnight, sometimes you don’t even eat leftovers at noon at night...

So I have to consider what they like to eat every day when I go shopping for vegetables, two dishes for my wife, two dishes for my son, and one dish for my daughter and me. The dinner table is full of six or seven dishes. Their appetite is not big. After eating, there are most of the leftovers, which are all cooked by myself. It’s a pity, so when I cleaned up at night, I used it as a supper. I mixed up the leftovers and ate it all, and the figure was inevitable. Horizontal development...

My wife said that her writing style is better than mine, and I laughed. There is no way to compare. The age difference is ten years, and we have very little common language, except for our children. She is a sentimental person, I am a rational person, the two of us are interested in the same thing very rarely...

My wife loves to compare, compare with those female netizens in WeChat circle, compare with female colleagues, compare with female classmates. But I think the only thing she can overpower others is to have a heavyweight husband, no one can compare in tonnage.

Take the question of children’s enrollment. I once insisted that my son study half a year late instead of a year earlier. For this reason, fierce quarrel broke out with his wife. My wife always feels inferior, and our son has just entered school when the children of other families are two years old. Why? My son is not much stupid than others... In order to convince me, she also came up with some expert predictions, saying that if her son went to school a year earlier, it would be able to avoid the most competitive year of the college entrance examination in the future...

I ignored her and insisted on letting my son go to school half a year late. I have personally experienced this. When I was a child, I went to school when I was six and a half years old. As a result, I couldn't keep up with the courses. Elementary school was okay. My mother taught me and my grades were among the best. But when I arrived in junior high school, I couldn't understand what the teacher said in class, and my grades plummeted, becoming a hindrance representative of the class...

My son is half a year older than other classmates. After school, he never has to worry about us. His grades have been in the top three. And because he is a little older, his body becomes stronger and he avoids being bullied by his classmates instead of being bullied by his classmates. Because I am so small and fight with people at both ends...

My wife loves those Korean dramas ~www.wuxiaspot.com~ who loves to death. She doesn't like reading books, especially those foreign classics, because she has foreign name cognitive confusion. She insisted that Watson was the protagonist, and the name was easy to remember... She hadn't read a copy of "Gone with the Wind" in three years in college. She always read the back and forgot the front, and even the protagonist within three days No one can tell...

So my wife likes to read those chicken soup articles in magazines, and the jokes on WeChat. I admit that her article written in about two thousand words is more appealing than mine, but if it exceeds two thousand words, then the preface does not follow, and it is not even clear what the subject is. This is the main reason why she once wanted to be a female writer but finally gave up.

I once said to my wife that what you record is only a period of life, and what I describe is the whole world. I like to tell the story in a straightforward way, like a line drawing technique to outline the overall structure of the world, and make it gradually fuller. I will not be prejudiced against the stories I tell, and strive to maintain a fair attitude. As for the opinions of good and bad, they will naturally gradually form in the book friends’ own observation. I do not need me as an author. What educational influence will be exerted on them...

An author who writes quietly, a group of book friends who read quietly, this is all I have ever hoped for, my satisfied life...