System vs Rebirth
358 Dissapointed
Just like the spirit said, Noel had treated his spirits differently. He always asked about their opinions, making sure that whenever he utilized their power, it didn't harm them.
The spirits could feel Noel's feelings and helped him as well. In his past life, the spirits took a softer approach so that Noel didn't go into a very dangerous place just for an opportunity. Ardagan didn't give him an impossible mission. All the missions that looked impossible had been considered thoroughly, so before giving him any mission, he knew that Noel would be able to complete it.
That was why when Anna was here to change everything, the spirits gave him a more dangerous mission and a bigger reward. They took care of his Spiritual Energy Reserve and so on.
Noel created a mutual relationship with both Ardagan and Heisk.
Meanwhile, Anna was different. Back when she tried to control her berserk instinct, she tried everything from killing numerous people to satisfy the need for blood or even using herbs to weaken the spirit, which caused the instinct to be weakened as well.
She never asked her spirit how to control this berserk nature and what's function of this berserk nature was except for power amplification.
When the spirit revealed everything to her, she couldn't say anything. There was nothing she could say to appease the spirit. Although indirectly, he had played a role in her reincarnation, allowing her to make everything right.
She wasn't aware of this case, but she also never asked the spirit about it. She didn't have extensive knowledge about her own spirit. All the information she had was coming from outsiders like her teacher and other experts.
"…" Anna bit her lips. She might have changed Noel a bit, but she had overlooked everything else.
She lowered her head while regretting her action. "I'm sorry…"
The spirit glared at her while asking, "Do you know that the berserk nature has two sides?"
The spirit formed the same dragon as earlier and shot forth the dragon. The lightning didn't spark at all and the dragon swallowed the boulder he sat on earlier. After that, the dragon returned back, carrying the whole boulder.
"The gentle rage instinct. Unlike an explosive storm, this rage is like a calm deep sea before the storm."
After that, the dragon spat out the boulder before ramming its head to the boulder.
"And the second instinct is the explosive rage."
The dragon suddenly let out a thunderclap as if showing its rage and exerted two times of its original strength, crushing the boulder into pieces.
"Meanwhile, what you're trying to control is completely in between these two, the completely unrefined rage. It might be able to give you some power amplification, but in exchange, your instinct will try to take over you. Do you know any of these? No, right? You never asked."
The spirit's voice felt like he was hurt, sad, and disappointed.
Anna couldn't help but remember all their conversation from past life. Even though she always demanded more power from him, the spirit had been trying to warn her about this potential. But she never listened to him. She didn't care about his opinion, thinking she had done everything right.
But it turned out everything was a mistake. If she had learned these two instincts, she would have been able to defeat Noel in her past life.
"Do you know my instinct has no weakness? It's not trying to make you berserk or anything. It's not even trying to take over your mind. My instinct is simply telling you the state of your current power. It measures the power in your ability, allowing you to change its approach according to what you want.
"What? Are you going to say the word 'kill' disturbs you? That's not even my instinct telling you, it's yours. My instinct is simply amplifying that thought. When you awakened me in the past and experienced my instinct for the first time, have you ever heard that word?"
"!!!" Anna's body trembled. She awakened her spirit at the age of ten. At that time, the instinct was still pure and all it did was increase her fighting intent. She felt like she wanted to keep challenging people to get stronger. That was all it did.
Everything changed slowly after she met her teacher. That word began ringing in her head, telling her to kill everyone.
In other words, she was the culprit of her own berserk state, not him. She took her teacher's words seriously and murdered everyone she didn't like.
Anna was tongue-tied.
The Thunder Berserker Spirit let out a long sigh, filled with disappointment. He asked one last question. "My instinct is just your typical fighting intent. But have you tried to see all the effects the instinct gives you? Have you tried finding the difference whenever the instinct kicks in?
"You should be aware that my instinct sometimes warns you, sometimes excites you, and sometimes calm you down. It's because my instinct can measure the strength of the opponent, remember their strength, and even recognize them from afar. Sadly, you have never utilized it to the fullest."
The Thunder Berserker Spirit sighed and waved his hand. "Whatever. I've told you everything I wanted to say."
Suddenly, Anna's consciousness faded away, returning to her original body.
"This…" Anna looked left and right, realizing she had returned. She hurriedly meditated to meet her spirit again to apologize, but no matter how hard she tried to do it, she couldn't enter her consciousness anymore.
"I…" Anna panicked. She didn't know what to do in this situation. But her instinct told her once more, reminding her of the last thing the spirit said.
'It's because my instinct can measure the strength of the opponent, remember their strength, and even recognize them from afar.'
Her body trembled as she remembered what had happened today. Her instinct started going berserk when she found the enemy. She couldn't find the person's identity back then, but with this information, she realized something.
"I felt my instinct kicked in like this in the past. It came from the Devil Bishop from the Supreme Devil Organization, known as Blood Berserker. Don't tell me all this time, it's been telling me their identity? But I never…"
Anna's body felt weak as she started clutching her head.
"Aaaaahhh…" Anna bit her lips, regretting her action. If she had taken her time to know her spirit, if she didn't be too complacent and listened to her spirit, if she had cared for her spirit like Noel… everything would have been different. She didn't care about it and took everything for granted.
Her only thought was changing Noel, even though she swore that she wanted to correct all her mistakes.
Despite her actions, the spirit still tried to help her. Tears started forming in the corner of her eyes. She regretted everything. She thought she had gone in the right direction, she didn't realize that she never questioned if all the things she did whether to Noel, to her spirits, and to all the people she had met were correct or not.
"I… I… I'm sorry…"
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