Super Detective in the Fictional World

The two team members smiled bitterly and were about to say something, when someone howled from inside a bungalow not far away.

“I have a gun. Give me ten Shake Shack mushroom burgers, ten chicken hot dogs, and ten bacon cheese fries right now! Right, I want a dozen Corona beers and cigarettes too…” yelled a man from the window of the bungalow with a double-barreled shotgun.

Everybody looked at each other in bewilderment.

After a brief silence, Harrison asked suspiciously, “This guy wants to kill himself?”

His two team members nodded in silence.

“Does he look suicidal?” cursed Harrison in a low voice.

Luke pondered for two seconds. “Maybe he’s trying to eat himself to death?”.

Everybody: … That sounds possible.

Harrison cursed and then asked without thinking, “Didn’t you buy him the damn food so that he could eat himself to death?” His team members smiled bitterly. “Captain, it’s Shake Shack, not IN N OUT. Where can we get that for him?”

Harrison: “What’s that? Isn’t it just burgers?”

Luke coughed and added, “Shake Shack is based in New York.”

“What the f*ck?” Harrison immediately yelled. “This son of a b*tch wants burgers from the east coast when he’s on the west coast? Why doesn’t this traitor just go die?”

Everybody: …He’s already trying to die, he’s just not dead yet!

After Harrison was done swearing, it was back to business as usual. “Where are the negotiators?”

The team members: “That won’t help. According to his neighbors, he might have forgotten to take his meds today.”

Harrison: “Is he an addict?”

The team members: “No, he may have depression or bipolar disorder.”

Harrison rolled his eyes. “Then did you try a tear gas grenade?”

The team members: “We did, but… it only made the guy even more energetic. He even lit himself a cigarette.”

Luke couldn’t help but look at the guy at the window; even though his eyes were bloodshot, he seemed very lively.

Did he puff the tear gas like it was tobacco?

Harrison: “Then just break down the door!”

The team members: “He said that he planted bombs at the door and windows.”

Harrison: “Bullsh*t! You believe that?”

The team members, “Boss, you’re the one who wrote the operation guidelines.”

Harrison was rendered speechless.

He himself had added to the SWAT guidelines the rule that in the event of suspected explosives, absolutely no one was allowed to charge in recklessly.

Harrison thought for a moment, then said, “Buy ten random burgers and give them to him.”

Everybody raised their eyebrows, and Jim was astonished. “Captain, what if he really does kill himself?”

Harrison: “Do you want to fly to New York to buy him Shake Shack?”

Jim: “…Fine. I saw a McDonald’s on the corner on the way here.”

When Jim went off to buy the burgers, Harrison asked his team members, “Is ‘Smiley’ here yet?”

“Yes, but do we really want to use it?” his team members said uncertainly.

Harrison: “When we deliver the burgers, you’ll do this and this…”

Listening on the side, Luke couldn’t help smiling. Is this how you SWAT people solve cases?

But the middle-aged man who was planning to eat himself to death had yet another demand: the burgers couldn’t have any pickles, and he wanted two bottles of chili oil.

Luke suddenly felt that Harrison’s plan was great; if it was him, he would’ve just watched this guy kill himself.

Several minutes later, Jim returned with the burgers.

Harrison instructed Jim, “You’ll deliver the burgers. Later, we’ll use that contraption of yours to break in. Heads up, everyone, prepare to move out.”

“Captain Harrison, can I deliver the burgers?” Luke’s heart itched to be part of the fun too.

Harrison was stumped for a moment. “About that…”

Luke chuckled. “I’m wearing a double-layered bulletproof vest, and I’ll put on a bulletproof helmet as well. Nobody will know who I am if I cover my face.”

Harrison hesitated for a moment before he nodded.

Not only did Luke have immense combat ability, he also wasn’t one to steal credit

In the earlier robbery, he hadn’t taken credit when he said he was the driver.

Credit was only a secondary issue; Harrison just didn’t like dealing with people who were too petty in their calculations.

He pointed randomly. “You, give your helmet to Luke.”

Jim, who had just returned with the burgers, said with a bitter face, “Um, this…”

Harrison: “Only you know how to use that thing. You’ll be the first to enter the house later.”

Jim was finally relieved. He chuckled and said, “I can accept that.”

Luke asked with a smile, “Do you have the receipt for the burgers? Can you give it to me?” Jim was puzzled, but still gave him the receipt. “Here. I was going to submit it as a work expense later.”

Luke patted Jim’s shoulder and smiled. “Don’t worry about it.”

Taking a look at the receipt, he nodded. “Hm, five bucks each, fifty bucks for ten. That’s very straightforward.”

“I picked them randomly,” Jim said offhandedly.

Shortly afterward, Luke approached the bungalow with a walkie-talkie and the burgers. The middle-aged man shouted again, “Why is it just burgers? What about the rest?”

Luke thought for a moment before he said, “These burgers were made on the spot for you. The rest of the stuff you asked for will be delivered later.”

The middle-aged man gave an “oh,” as if acknowledging the explanation. “Leave it at the door, and step on it.” Luke sweated. There’s something wrong with your thinking, right? Don’t people usually demand that the police not make any hasty moves, to avoid sudden attacks?

But considering that the guy was using his “suicide” to extort burgers, hot dogs, fries and beer from the police force, Luke thought that this request made sense.

But Luke’s movements didn’t really quicken.

If he suddenly changed his pace, he might disrupt Harrison’s instructions, so he maintained the same pace.

Hearing Harrison’s order in his earpiece, Luke got ready.

“Smiley, go!” Harrison gave the order.

An armored car stealthily moved to one side of the bungalow. It had been specially modified by SWAT. On the front was something that looked like horns on a battering ram for breaking down walls.

A yellow smiley face had been stuck on the front of the ram, so the armored car’s codename was Smiley.

At the order, Smiley sped up and charged over the lawn, and the horns crashed into the wall.

A metal cylinder that had been jury rigged to the horns launched a metal rod, and four long steel bars unfolded to grip the wall.

“Smiley, pull!” roared Jim.

With a loud rumble, the armored car reversed, and the four steel bars pulled out a chunk of the wall that was two meters in diameter to create a hole.

The middle-aged man who was watching Luke from the window was so frightened by the loud noise that he dropped his gun.

The SWAT members that had long been on standby swiftly charged through the hole and subdued the dumbfounded middle-aged man.

Turning his head to observe everything through the window, Luke was lost for words. It’s over already? This… isn’t fun at all!