How did you wear it!

Qiao Yiqiao is calling his mother in a posture of ○|￣|_.

"Mom, mom, my new movie is on the air! "The Secret History of Princess Xiaoyao"! It's so good! If you don't watch it, you will lose a hundred million yuan! This time, I will never lie to you to believe me!"

Qiao's mother was very cold: "Oh? Really? It doesn't matter. Our family is not short of money."

"..." Qiao Yiqiao slowed down for five seconds, and then let go of the choked breath in his throat, and continued to say enthusiastically, "Mom, do you know what I'm doing this time? It's a breakthrough! The praise is rave! The fans are going crazy!"

"What do you play?"

"Playing a eunuch!" Qiao Yiqiao's full pride was definitely not pretending, "Strong martial arts! Versatility! Second male lead! He is very infatuated with the female lead! In the end, he died for the male lead!"

"Wait a minute..." Qiao's mother was rarely aroused by her stupid son, "You are a eunuch, and you are so infatuated with the heroine...and you died for the hero in the end? Isn't the hostess a couple?"

Qiao Yiqiao scratched his head: "It's a couple!"

"Oh," Qiao's mother hung up the phone neatly, "don't watch, goodbye."

Qiao Yiqiao rolled down on the bed sadly, with a bright belly, deeply felt that human beings are really superficial, and his own mother didn't know how to appreciate him, obviously he played well!The fans were all screaming, saying that the little eunuch in red was so tender and juicy, they couldn't watch it any more!Because I'm afraid my body will be hollowed out if I watch too much...

Of course, except for these unscrupulous Yangou fans, his performance in "The Secret History of the Happy Princess" was almost sprayed to death by righteous passers-by.

Because of too many tricks, Qiao Yiqiao's manager, Brother Afei, has recently banned Qiao Yiqiao from surfing the Internet, for fear that he will be over-stimulated and then bite his tongue and commit suicide.

Qiao Yiqiao didn't intend to bite his tongue and kill himself, wouldn't that make loved ones hurt their enemies?As a "well-known" actor, he can't resist being scolded as a third grandson, and he has to apologize and say that he will work hard to improve... As the saying goes, a Bodhisattva will be angry with King Kong after being aggrieved for a long time. He has really scratched his head these days Make trouble!Make trouble!Make trouble!

The blackening has been achieved, and the only thing left is to take revenge on the society.

Speaking of Qiao Yiqiao, it's really not bragging.He looked like a little angel when he was a child, and he is even more beautiful when he grows up. With his lovable personality, he has always been loved by thousands of people, and he is a standard template for a winner in life.

Not to mention any difficulties...

The name must count as one.Qiao Yiqiao, take a look, listen.This kid was stupid at the beginning, he didn't understand. He went to kindergarten and was ridiculed before he went to protest with his parents. Can't you give me a personal name?His parents are very stubborn: no.He also hid his household registration book, extinguishing his ambition to secretly go to the police station to change his name.

So from childhood to adulthood, when Qiao Yiqiao introduces himself to others, he always avoids the important and lightly says: "... Just call me Xiao Qiao."

Xiao Qiao is a well-known beauty in history. Many people who don't know the inside story will be in awe when they hear that his name is Xiao Qiao--their parents are really amazing!At that time, he foresaw his son's heaven-defying appearance, and gave him such an appropriate name!

Countless Wang Meili and Zhang Jiaren fainted in the toilet.

But as the saying goes, if God gave you such beauty, he would definitely cut corners on your IQ...

The second big hole in Qiao Yiqiao's life was discovered when he was in the third year of high school, Ma Dan's head was hanging from the beam and his buttocks were stabbed every day, and his test scores were still so disappointing!One must know that his father is a self-made old fox and his mother is a famous beauty doctor tutor. Even if the two of them gave their son a fraction of their IQ, it wouldn't be so tragic!It made Qiao Yiqiao think that he was picked up under the flyover.

At that time, he started to inquire about how to sign up for the New Oriental Chef Technical School, otherwise going to Lanxiang to drive an excavator would be a way out.

Yes, despite Qiao Yiqiao's suspected low IQ, he is serious and self-motivated. Even if his parents don't mind him cheating on the old, he doesn't want to just be a parasite for the rest of his life.

He didn't make it to New Oriental Lanxiang, thanks to the idea that he took aim at the group of art candidates in school who were elusive.

It is said that as long as you pass the art test, you can go to university with a score of [-] or [-] in the college entrance examination!

Maybe all simple-minded people have well-developed limbs and a kind of self-confidence.Qiao Yiqiao crammed his feet temporarily, took a surprise look at several dances and musical instruments, and went to the art test with full confidence.He also passed the art exams for many schools in one breath, thinking that if he cast the net everywhere, he would always catch a few big fish and small fish, right?

He didn't even let go of the top universities in the industry such as Chinese opera.

Qiao Yiqiao has attracted the attention of everyone since he was a child. When he stood under the camera, he really didn't have the slightest bit of stage fright!When it was his turn in the queue, he went in and danced a mechanical dance. This mechanical dance was very amateurish. He even missed a few beats. If he made a mistake, he was not in a hurry. Xi Hehe laughed, bowed heartlessly and went to call the next one.

Just because his smile was so bright, the unlucky guys behind him thought that his performance might not be amazing, and suddenly they were under a lot of psychological pressure, fighting with each other, performing abnormally, and unconsciously acting as a sad control group to foil him.

It never occurred to me that he was admitted to the Chinese opera just like that. It is said that several invigilators and judges at the time agreed that although the child's basic skills were a bit poor, but the patriarch enjoyed the food, his little face is really photogenic!She is also very recognizable, her expression and movements are graceful and unflinching, and she can stand out from so many handsome men and beauties...

In short, this is a piece of rough jade, compared to the martial arts novels, it is the grandpa who sweeps the floor, crying and shouting at the young man, I think your bones are not as good as the one I have passed on to you for a hundred years, so the basic skills I'm almost afraid of nothing, the school is a place to preach and teach, the main thing is that this child has a star image, he only needs a little polishing, and he will definitely become famous!

Don't look at Zhongxi as the leader in the industry, it looks very noble.But in fact, in order to maintain its influence, how many students are popular in each session are all watching!In short, they are all people in the world of mortals, so don't worry about being vulgar.

Qiao Yiqiao entered the school in such a daft way.

Now that he has been in school for almost two years, the teachers who thought he was uncut jade at the beginning were completely desperate, and they all admitted that they were blind and mistook fish eyes for pearls.Nima Qiao Yiqiao is an embroidered pillow!He is indestructible!Bai has a good face, and he doesn't know how to live or die!What kind of shit is that show coming!

Qiao Yiqiao is by no means the kind of scumbag who dawdles around. In fact, he has worked hard, never misses class, and often chases after the teacher to ask questions. According to the reports of his classmates, he also practiced privately every day and devoted himself to his acting career. With full enthusiasm...

So even the excuse of "he is a scumbag because he doesn't work hard, and he has to work hard to become a master" can't be used?

This world is too cruel to people with low IQ...

But when God closes the door for people, he usually opens a window. Qiao Yiqiao's acting skills are terrible, but he has a good figure!He looks so handsome and has a great voice.He is also handy, such as attending a few film and television makeup classes in the next class, and now he doesn't have to trouble the makeup artist when he goes to the film crew to apply makeup.

Qiao Yiqiao was very planning in his work. He thought that his talent was not good enough, but as long as he worked hard, he might be able to become a powerful faction in a few years... Before that, in order not to starve to death, he first relied on face to eat.Then the makeup skills have to be refined, because in case he can't become a powerful group, when he can't rely on his face to make a living, he may be able to switch to a makeup artist or something.

Such a curve to save the country, a heart...

That's right, Qiao Yiqiao fell in love with acting deeply after he entered Chinese opera!He has already planned to dedicate his life to acting!

So far, Qiao Yiqiao has three dramas in hand.

They were all filmed during the winter and summer vacations, and the first film was the male lead, playing a romantic scholar who has always abandoned the fox demon heroine.This romantic scholar is really a joke in the play. He almost killed the fox demon hostess, but the fox demon hostess couldn't bear to retaliate against him several times. She just watched him get the first prize in the exam, marry a beautiful wife, and then do all kinds of evil. presumptuous.In the end, she killed herself, and the fox demon hostess took the male host to collect his body and shed tears for him.

This character is even better than the hero!

The director took a fancy to such a young rookie, because he felt that Qiao Yiqiao's face made him play such a scumbag villain, which was really convincing!

The marketing of this drama was overwhelming, and as a result, Qiao Yiqiao became an instant hit. He opened Weibo with more than a million fans, but the comment section was full of complaints about his horrible acting skills—if it wasn’t for that face, I would They have already gone to escape by tapping X in the upper right corner.

There are also conspiracy theories, saying that Qiao Yiqiao's shitty acting skills, he actually acted as the second male lead when he debuted. There must be a dirty py transaction behind this.

Then someone found out that he was actually a student of Chinese opera, which immediately attracted the astonishment of countless friends, and many people swore: Qiao Yiqiao's Shame of Chinese opera is scheduled!Not convinced!

Qiao Yiqiao was beaten to death, and then he realized his shame and was brave. After working hard for half a year, he took over the second film. This time he played the male lead, an arrogant and awkward young master of the Republic of China. On the surface, he didn't learn A dude who knows no skills and only knows how to prodigal, but in fact he is good at martial arts. He often hides his face to teach bad guys, robs the rich and helps the poor, and collects information for our party to deal with little devils. In short, he is very Jack Su.

Military uniforms, black cloaks, retro white suits...every style can make people look handsome!

Don't mention how hard he acted, he is confident that this time he will definitely impress the black fans!

As a result, after the broadcast started, a large wave of black fans flooded in on Weibo, complaining about him from head to toe. Qiao Yiqiao, as long as he has a glass heart, he must be hit and quit the circle immediately.

"The Secret History of Princess Xiaoyao" is his third play.

As the saying goes, there are no more than three bad things, and more than three is shameless.

Qiao Yiqiao was sad for a long time with his little belly bright, until his stomach growled, he realized that he didn't seem to have had dinner yet, he was so hungry...

Yaozi turned over and dug out a bag of Haokoufu brand pistachios bought a few days ago from his snack box. A black glazed pottery bowl on the Bogu shelf was quite suitable as a container. He took it down and poured half a bag into it.Considering that his throat was uncomfortable after eating too much dried fruit, Qiao Yiqiao went to the refrigerator outside to get old yogurt.

The old yogurt was brought back, just about to plug in the straw, when the corner of his eye glanced at the pottery bowl——

Fuck?What about the half bowl of pistachios that just poured in!

If it wasn't for the fact that there was only half of the bag left, Qiao Yiqiao would have suspected that he had amnesia.He lived alone, raised a fat cat and boarded with his mother forever, so there is no other creature in this house except him. Who can steal his pistachios?

Besides, he didn't even leave for half a minute, even if there were mice in the house, they wouldn't be wiped out so quickly, right?

Qiao Yiqiao picked up the pottery bowl and shook it foolishly, then turned it over again.

It's not a leak...

Puzzled, Qiao Yiqiao simply poured in the remaining pistachios in the bag, sucked on the old yogurt, stared at the half bowl of pistachios, and kept his ears fixed on the movement around him. Be prepared for any uninvited guests to come out of nowhere.

Five seconds later, all the pistachios in the pottery bowl disappeared instantly under Qiao Yiqiao's gaze.

!!!

Qiao Yiqiao spat out a mouthful of old yogurt in shock, and even the ends of his hair were stained with annoying white spots.

……

In the spring of Yihai, all things sprout.

Ye Wuqing's body was stained with blood. He was kneeling on one knee. In front of him was a barren grave that had been sprinkled with new soil. He could vaguely see the traces of someone offering sacrifices. There were so many sacrifices that the soil in front of the grave was covered with blood. Burnt black.

He looked solemn, even kneeling there, his body was straight, like a sharp sword with a newly tempered edge!

"Father..."

The wooden box more than one foot square at hand snapped open, a burst of white powder rose up, and when the dust settled, two unrecognizable heads that had been pickled with quicklime were revealed inside the box!

Ye Wuqing picked two human heads and placed them in front of the grave with the tip of a knife, and took out a clean black pottery bowl from his bosom. After a moment of silence, he slapped a good bamboo leaf green from the altar, raised it with one hand, and prepared to Pour into clay bowls.

But before the sacrificial wine was poured, he put down the wine jar again.

It was because dozens of light green dried fruits the size of a little finger popped out of the black pottery bowl that was empty just now!

No one is around, and he is confident that no one in the world can play tricks under his nose without being noticed

Ye Wuqing was silent for a moment, Fang raised his right hand, separated his thumb and index finger, reached into the pottery bowl and twisted one of them lightly, only heard a crackling sound, the light green nuts shattered, and there was a stream of fresh air. The sweet and fragrant oily smell then escaped and hit his nose.

Driven by the already numb stomach, it began to ache faintly.

Ye Wuqing took the pottery bowl in his hand and observed it carefully.

Before I could see why, the light green fruit in the pottery bowl doubled out of thin air.

He has always disrespected ghosts and gods, so he didn't panic at all when he saw this miraculous event in front of the grave today. He just poured the bowl full of dried fruits on the furoshiki beside him, and took out a pile of dried yellow fruit from the furoshiki. Throw all the paper money into a pottery bowl and ignite it with a fire pocket.

As soon as the paper money ignited, it suddenly disappeared.