[Net King] Take away my heart

If I have everything, if I lose everything, then who am I? ——Erich Fromm

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I can't remember when my father stopped coming home.

Unlike the family, which is decorated with large and small photo frames and filled with photos carrying warm memories, there is no trace of any family portraits in my home.

There seemed to be vague traces of those things that meant family when I was very young.But one day, my mother suddenly broke all the photo frames in the house and burned the photos like crazy. While lighting the fire with a lighter, she kept cursing "Go to hell, go to hell".

Father did not come home that day.

That is to say, since then, there are no such things as photos in my family.

"Why doesn't Dad come home?" I asked my mother this question when I was young and ignorant.

As soon as I heard the word father from my mouth, my mother would start crying without saying a word.When my mother cried, I had to cry too, because I didn't understand why she was crying. I just felt insecure when my father was not around. Maybe my mother was as afraid of this feeling as I was, so I cried.

I was very afraid of my mother crying, because she would cry endlessly. She would cry until I was hungry, cry until I forgot to make dinner for me, and cry until I went to bed hungry.

I felt very sorry for my mother, because I broke her heart by mentioning my father, so I gradually learned not to mention my father in front of my mother.In order to make my mother happy, I often folded colored paper into small flowers in the kindergarten and took them back to her.

"Birus, you are my mother's good boy, and my mother likes you the most in this world..."

The mother who received the paper flowers smiled more beautifully than ever, but there was always a emptiness in her smile that I could not understand at that time.

When I entered elementary school, I had my own bedroom. My bedroom was on the first floor, and my parents' bedroom was on the second floor.

One night, after taking a shower, I got into bed and was going to sleep, I heard the sound of someone running up the stairs.The footsteps were heavy and slow. As soon as I heard it, I knew that the voice was not from my mother, but from my father who hadn't been back for a long time.

Sure enough, my father had a quarrel with my mother not long after he went upstairs.

I huddled under the quilt and covered my head with the quilt, but even so, I could clearly hear the violent quarrel upstairs.Mom cried again because Dad yelled at her.But then my mother cried and cursed, even louder and harsher than my father.

I plugged my ears with my hands and stayed that way for a while.However, soon there was a loud sound passing through the hands and breaking into the ears, and there were constant "bang, bang" noises across the ceiling. I knew it was my mother who started smashing things.

There was the sound of impatient footsteps on the stairs, and just a few seconds later, I heard the sound of a car starting outside the window.

Dad is gone again.I was driven away by my mother.

Sometimes I don't understand why my mother must smash things. She smashed all the photo frames at home, because my mother said she didn't want to see my father's face.Later, when my mother was upset, she started smashing the bowls again, and she smashed the porcelain bowls at home like the photo frames, but there was no father's face engraved on the bowls.

"Your father is a beast, a beast, something worse than a pig or a dog!"

My mother always yelled these words at me, it seems that my mother hates my father.But isn't it right to hate someone because you don't want to see him?That's why Mom had to burn all of Dad's photos.But whenever my father didn't come back, whenever my mother threw the bowl all over the floor, she would sit in the debris and cover her face and cry, looking very sad.

Mom actually wanted to see Dad.She went crazy because she wanted to see her father so much, and became weird because she couldn't see her father. Over time, even when her father was really standing in front of her, she couldn't return to her normal appearance.

In the first grade of elementary school, my mother unexpectedly became pregnant.

I couldn't have been more thrilled when she gave birth to little Erina.I have my own younger sister, and my parents have a new child. Erina is so cute and innocent, just like an angel sent by heaven to save our family.

I was finally no longer facing my mother alone. This deserted home became lively because of the crying of the baby.I carefully held Erina's soft little hand, bent down to listen to her small but powerful heartbeat, smelled the rich milky smell on her body, and felt a force of hope permeating my whole body.

Thank you, thank you for being born, thank you for being in this home.

I want to protect my sister, I want to protect this lovely angel, I want to save this miserable family together with Erina, we want to live happily together... We will definitely live happily.

"Why did you produce such useless waste..."

But Dad didn't come back to me and Mom because of Hui Rina's birth.

—Whether it's my child or not I can't figure it out.Anyway, when I'm not at home, I can take anyone back with me.How do you think she looks like me?

Dad didn't even give Erina a hug.

Faced with Dad's ruthless words, Mom collapsed again.Like me, my mother must have hoped for salvation in the birth of Erina.As long as she is there, Dad's heart can be restored, as long as she is there, everything can go back to the past, as long as she is there, we will get rid of the pain and become happy...

But Erina doesn't have that power.

Erina is just a baby, a baby who doesn't know anything about my parents, me, or this family.

"Trash, trash, you trash...! Why did you have to be born, why did you have to be born...!"

Mom suffered from severe postpartum depression.

I can't eat, I can't sleep well, and my expression is free and lax all day long.In the past, whenever Erina cried, she would run over to feed her, coax her to pat her, or change her diaper.But ever since hearing what my father said, my mother has regarded Hui Rina as air. She sat there and watched Hui Rina cry, seeing her crying hoarsely and out of breath, and her mother would not move her hands or move. Take a step.

Hui Rina's crying seemed to be unable to reach her mother's ears, and her mother would not breastfeed her, change her diaper, or hug her.

Mom hated Erina.

He hated his own daughter who was pregnant in October.

When hope turns into despair, when kinship fades into cruelty, when humanity loses its brilliance.

Since then, the world has started to rot little by little, emitting a poisonous stench that paralyzes people's hearts invisibly.

And I, stuck in it.

Inextricable.

The author has something to say: —[Reasoning Time]—

(Avatar Conan-kun briefly explains the clues about mobile phones from Nioh’s perspective XD)

Nioh (Jiayin)'s mobile phone:

Inbox (2) - Confession email from Yagyu, email from Nioh

outbox (empty)

E-mail not sent successfully (1) - Reply to Yagyu's confession email

Liu Yu's mobile phone:

Inbox (2) - Unsuccessful emails from Jiayin, emails from Nioh

Outbox (full) - emails to mom and sister, confession emails to Jiayin

Email not sent successfully (empty)

Before the car accident, Yagyu sent a confession email to Jiayin. Jiayin had a car accident while replying, and the email was not sent successfully.

Yagyu came to the scene of the accident and took away Jiayin's bag and mobile phone

Yagyu mistook Jiayin's mobile phone for Nioh's mobile phone and returned it

Nioh uses Jiayin's mobile phone (number) to send an email to Liu Sheng to invite him to meet

Nioh sent the unsuccessful emails and the emails he once sent to Yagyu to Yagyu

-THAN-

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A blizzard that hasn't been seen in decades fell in Tokyo today~

The snow is so thick that you can jump from upstairs to roll around and immediately stand up and pat your ass and leave←

But for people like me who have no skiing experience, is it better to take a shovel out tomorrow...

Toru, who was troubled by the blizzard, decided to postpone the announcement of the new news until the next chapter~(←What does it matter

In fact, everyone should already know what it is~ XD

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