hold this little monk

Xiaoxuan not only fell into a coma, but also fell into a nightmare, which was the illusion of his all-time demons.

He is back in modern times.

He saw a woman, a woman with a big belly pushing a stroller.She has a pretty face and an indifferent expression, with flaming red lips and a noble and alienated temperament. Even when she looks at her own child in the stroller, her eyes are only cold, and the Arctic iceberg is nothing more than that.

When Xiaoxuan saw the woman, he had an indescribable urge to get closer, but he couldn't move, he could only stand there and watch the woman push the stroller out and hand it to another middle-aged woman.

This woman is probably his biological mother. He never expected to see this woman again in this way, to see this woman whom he had fantasized about for countless years and counted until the sky would fall apart.

The woman receiving the woman asked cautiously: "Although this child is small, he is very energetic. Madame, have you really thought about it?"

There was an indescribable charm in the woman's voice, and she lazily leaned on the sofa: "Well, it's useless for me to want him, there's another one in my stomach, and the father of this one insists on keeping this one in his stomach, then I can only give this as a gift. Having two children is not in my plan."

The woman's expression became a little unhappy, so she nodded submissively, and took a thick red envelope and a baby stroller from the woman.

"Even if he grows up and is promising, don't let him know that I'm his mother." The woman turned her head before leaving.

"This sentence is for nothing, I was useless in my life." Xiaoxuan said in his heart.

Seeing him go, the woman sighed. She knelt down and pinched the face of the little one-year-old child. The child didn't cry or fuss. He looked at the woman with a smirk. The courtyard seemed to be illuminated by the sun.

"What a heartless one."

Yu Xiaoxuan and the staff of the orphanage blurted out at the same time, but the child smiled at him as if he could see him, and the smile became even happier.

Xiaoxuan twitched the corner of his mouth and gave him a smile too.While he hinted in his heart that these were all stories that had nothing to do with him at all, it would be fine to watch them as people in TV dramas, while at the same time he felt unavoidable melancholy.

"I'll just be hypocritical this time." Xiaoxuan, who finally lost his rationality to his sensibility, said decisively, as if he was afraid that he would regret it.

Time flies by, and when the pictures are broken and rejoined, he is already in elementary school.

There is never a shortage of talents in the orphanage, especially in art, because most of the children are delicate and sensitive. As long as they are given more technical guidance, they can create works that surprise adults.

However, Xiaoxuan was not favored by the adults at first, and he almost didn't take the road of painting - he was too careless and careless on weekdays, and a crying child could circle the world three times. The adults intended to let him In the future, he will be a sports student instead of an art student. At that time, he was already relatively tall among his peers.

But by mistake, Xiaoxuan still studied art, as if destined, he did not study sports, which is the most popular among girls, but went on a rampage until his death on the road of art where loneliness is the highest feeling.

To become a sunny, generous, sensitive and inferior person, and never let anyone peep into the secrets of his heart, this is what Yu Xiaoxuan regarded as his lifelong mission in his youth.

He knew at that time that he was a strange person, at least no teenager in the orphanage had the same firm belief that he would be alone for the rest of his life as he was in his teens—it wasn’t a chubby second disease in other people’s ears While talking about his unmarried life, there is a voice hidden in his heart, which will come out from time to time and tell him: Don't harm anyone who might like you.

Yu Xiaoxuan watched his 16-year-old self sharpen a pencil while listening to the young confession of the girl next to him. After listening, he raised his digging face, showing a bewildered expression for the first time in history.

Youthful age and blushing face.

"I……"

Xiaoxuan listened to himself, even though he knew what he would say next.

Seeing them like this, the people around thought they were having fun, and booed as if they had been rehearsed.

The girl simply let go and said: "I have paid attention to you since the first year of high school. I know that you are excellent, and I will not hold you back. As long as you are willing, we will work together to become a model for the future design industry."

Xiaoxuan actually doesn't quite remember what the girl said, but after so many years, she was still amused by this positive and professional confession, looked at her 16-year-old self and sighed: "Girl, you are in the wrong position to confess, you brat Unprofessional."

He also thought of the days when he dropped out of college and lived in the basement eating instant noodles in the last few years and was diagnosed with cancer.

Facts have proved that the better the mentality is, the better the fate will be. Like Yu Xiaoxuan, who looks happy on the outside and is depressed in his heart, the little fist of fate can be said to hit his chest mercilessly.

"Do you want me to help you with your homework? Do you want to act like this?" 16-year-old Yu Xiaoxuan was stunned for a long time, and finally came to his senses. He smiled and refused, "The last time I helped a fat man with his homework was already done. After being scolded, a good girl like you wouldn't want to cause me to be scolded a second time, right? I don't think so."

The girl's face was flushed, and she was annoyed by his "I know but I just pretend not to understand" look. Tears of grievance rolled in her eyes, she turned around and ran out crying.The onlookers didn't expect this development, and they were confused. One of the girl's girlfriends was also mad. She threw a sketchbook at him, scolded "scumbag" and ran out to comfort her friend.

The juvenile version of Yu Xiaoxuan flinched from being hit, and looked extremely cowardly. He spread his hands at the others with a dry smile, and said, "What's the matter, do you have something important to say? If not, I will retreat."

Everyone dispersed after being teased by him.

Xiao Xuan, who was leaning on the table to watch the play, smiled and shook his head: "It seems that I am really old, how could I be so cheap before."

He watched his training camp, college entrance examination, failure... and then he watched himself go to college without caring, insisted on following his own school, was dropped out of school by the orthodox school, and was sent to the hospital to be diagnosed with cancer because of headaches.

In the hospital, Xiaoxuan, who had just dropped out of school and cut off contact with the orphanage, looked at each other with the nurse who gave him the medical form.

The nurse was puzzled but still comforted: "The rain will pass and the sky will clear. If you treat well, we will definitely overcome the disease! Man will conquer nature!"

Yu Xiaoxuan nodded thoughtfully, "How much will it cost?"

The nurse made a number.

Yu Xiaoxuan nodded understandingly, and said with a smirk: "Oh, then it's better for me to be overwhelmed."

Just kidding, he can't afford that price as a duck.

The nurse nodded and left, not taking a cloud with her.

Before he died, Xiaoxuan's gang of friends came to watch over him, with tears in their eyes, and sang a lullaby for him in the moldy basement. The scene was touching and funny. If he was lying on the bed, he would have lost his mind , I'm afraid he would have jumped out of bed long ago and hammered those people's heads.

Life is like a play, like a life, when he lied to Bi Kong that he would dream about these things in his dreams, it was a prophecy, and now he really dreamed about the bits and pieces of his previous life in his dream, and let him see the things he had fantasized about countless times in his previous life. Mother's face.

If he was asked to define his past life, he would proudly say without hesitation: useless but wonderful!

Come here once, live up to this life.

Xiaoxuan smiled and watched the wretch on the bed stop breathing, and finally realized that his legs could move, he approached unconsciously, looking at him and himself from the perspective of God.

"Sleep with peace of mind, you will meet him in the next life, a person who is warm enough to make you give up your hypocrisy." Xiaoxuan stroked his hair in emptiness, and thought melancholy, but when will I be able to meet him again? Get out of this ghost dream. I had such a damned dream. When I wake up and see Bi Kong, I must act like a baby seriously, otherwise I will feel sorry for the injured little heart.

As he thought about it, the heaven seemed to hear his voice, the scene in front of him suddenly collapsed into darkness, his body no longer felt like floating, and finally returned to the real body, his throat was too dry.

A strange feeling prompted him to suddenly open his eyes, and he was stung by the strong light so that his eyes were filled with tears, and he squinted under the halo, only to see clearly that there was a young boy with an unhappy face sitting next to him.

"Damn it, why didn't God be so responsive to my requests in my previous life?" Yu Xiaoxuan murmured hoarsely.

The author has something to say:

I double updated again oh yeah!