You are like a deer to the forest to me

Although Gao Tianyu intentionally made himself sick to win attention, it was naive and annoying, and the so-called confession and forgiveness was nothing but his usual way of acting like a baby and playing tricks. With a lot of helpless "You really..." bought it.

Gao Tianyu really softened Ji Lingxiao's heart. He just looked at Ji Lingxiao with his slightly red eyes from the fever and softly called Uncle Ji a few times, and Ji Lingxiao lost all temper.When the young man buried his head in his arms and muttered "I just don't want to be pushed away by Uncle Ji all the time", Ji Lingxiao even began to reflect on whether he was hesitating and forcing people to the point where he could only get close to him by virtue of illness?

This is not what Ji Lingxiao wants. No matter whether he can accept this relationship or not, he hopes that the other party will be well.Gao Tianyu should be warm, at ease, and as bright as the sun, that's what suits him, that's what he should look like.

Ji Lingxiao heard Gao Tianyu say in a slightly hoarse voice in a daze: "Uncle Ji, although I am not mature enough, I am serious about you. I am not as unreliable as you think, give me a chance, I will I will use actions and time to prove that I can be trusted."

Ji Lingxiao looked down at him, and met a pair of expectant and sincere eyes. They were so moving. Ji Lingxiao, who was used to being cautious in his words and deeds, and even restrained too much, seemed to be captive by those eyes involuntarily. In a daze, he slowly said what was in his heart: "I didn't think you were unreliable, you are fine, the problem is not with you, it is me... I am too afraid of being rejected by others, and I don't have the courage to bear the consequences."

Gao Tianyu didn't interrupt, he wrapped Ji Lingxiao's unknowingly curled hand with his warm palm, silently encouraging him to continue.

"Did you find out? Uncle Ji is actually a coward." Ji Lingxiao pulled the corners of his lips, and in a pretendingly relaxed tone, he talked about his childhood experience that he had never confided to anyone. , was suspected by others, and was sent around all the time, so there was no sense of security.”

Ji Lingxiao is the second son in the family, and he has a brother who is two years older than him. His parents are ordinary salarymen. It is not easy to raise two children who are about the same age. Ji Lingxiao was found to have mild autism when he was two years old. , the mother had to quit her job and devote more energy to take care of him.The heavy family burden fell on the shoulders of the father alone, and over time it gave birth to conflicts between husband and wife, and any trivial matter may cause quarrels.

Later, Ji's father got into the bad habit of drinking, and the man who was not easy-going at first became irritable and irritable after drinking, and even beat and scolded his wife and children. Ji Lingxiao, who was regarded as the instigator of all misfortunes, bore the brunt and became the main victim of domestic violence. By.

It's not that Ji Lingxiao has no perception of the outside world, he just has language barriers and can't express.He spent his childhood in the midst of his mother's resentful abuse, his elder brother's terrified crying, and his father's manic beating and scolding.

When Ji Lingxiao was five years old, her parents who no longer had any feelings finally ended this marriage full of quarrels and injuries.Her mother remarried with her older brother, while Ji Lingxiao was adopted by her father to a distant uncle who had been married for many years and had no children.

Ji Lingxiao's illness is not very serious at all. If he treats it carefully and guides him patiently, it is possible for him to get better as he grows older.Moreover, his appearance is exquisite and pleasing, if one does not observe carefully, he looks like a quiet and beautiful little girl.

The infertile uncles and aunts regarded him as their sustenance, took him to see a doctor, and took care of him very attentively.Unexpectedly, when he was getting better day by day and the couple were considering sending him to a regular school, his aunt who was over forty years old was pregnant.

The couple were overjoyed. One devoted himself to taking care of his elderly pregnant wife, and the other took care of raising the baby carefully, so they paid less attention to Ji Lingxiao.When the child was born, the couple felt like they had found a treasure, and they took care of Gu Ji Lingxiao flawlessly.

Watching his uncle and aunt circle around his cute little cousin every day, Ji Lingxiao couldn't help but feel a little disappointed, but he accepted it quietly, and never thought of competing with his younger brother for favor.

The aunt's mother reminded the couple to be wary of Ji Lingxiao. She told the prejudiced old lady that not all children are pure-minded. Ji Lingxiao is also an abnormal child. He is gloomy all day long. It was as if he was secretly planning something, if he became jealous of the baby in his infancy, there was no guarantee that he would do something.

Ji Lingxiao, who overheard these words by accident, was still a child of seven or eight years old, and he couldn't understand the hidden meaning behind the words. He only knew that "abnormality" was his fault, and it would cause disgust, beatings, scolding and abandonment, but I don't know if this is his destiny.

At the centennial banquet not long ago, a drunk relative teased Ji Lingxiao.The young Ji Lingxiao was terrified of coming into contact with a drunk, so he waved away the other's hand without thinking. Because the gesture was too big, he accidentally knocked over the soup bowl on the table and splashed himself with soup.

The person at the same table hurriedly found something to wipe him. Ji Lingxiao became more and more nervous and flustered, her little face flushed, and she dodged like a threatened beast and screamed: "Don't come over!"

Everyone present was taken aback by him, and it was the first time for uncle and aunt to see him so agitated.His fear is seen as an unstable personality in the eyes of others, and the occasions when he "explodes" are easy to be thought-provoking.

Not long after the centenary banquet, Ji Lingxiao was sent by his uncle to his aunt's house in the countryside.Before his uncle left, he told him to listen to his aunt and study hard. He thought that as long as he was obedient and studied well, his uncle would take him home.Only later did he realize that that family no longer had a place for him because of the arrival of his younger brother.

My aunt was worried that he would resent his uncle and aunt, so she often whispered in his ear, no wonder they were cruel, if his uncle and aunt hadn't taken him in, he might have been beaten to death by his father long ago, how could he still be studying here?

Mentioning his biological father, my aunt couldn't help sighing again, and said with great regret that his father had good conduct when he was young, he respected his elders, loved his wife and children, although he couldn't give them a prosperous life, he was famous among the younger generation Gu Jia.

Although my aunt didn't say clearly that his father became the bastard he became later and separated his wife and children because they gave birth to Ji Lingxiao, an unhealthy child.But Ji Lingxiao could see and hear the way she looked at Ji Lingxiao every time she talked about these things, and every hesitant sigh.As he gets older and more sensible, Ji Lingxiao also understands that he has no right to blame anyone, but he can only blame himself for being abnormal.

Ji Lingxiao once hated being abnormal very much, and tried hard to make herself normal.But after spending a childhood full of beatings and scolding, a childhood spent under the fence, and being treated coldly and alienated as a monster, a normal person is probably abnormal, not to mention that he himself is abnormal.

Inferiority and timidity have taken root in Ji Lingxiao's heart since he was a child. The more he was afraid of being disgusted by others and being abandoned because of this, the deeper the roots took root, the more difficult it was to pull out, and eventually grew into an intricate cage.

"I can't make myself normal, and I don't have the ability to make others not dislike me. I can only be a coward who won't be disappointed if I don't desire." Ji Lingxiao laughed at himself, "If you have nothing, don't worry about losing it. , You probably won’t understand the coward’s logic.”

"You are not a monster. They despise you because they don't understand how good you are. I can give you what they are stingy with." Gao Tianyu took his hand and clasped it on his chest, looking at the pair of hands that were obviously smiling. But he could not hide his sad eyes, and said softly and firmly, "I will give you whatever you want, home, peace, security, I can give you everything. I will give myself to you. From now on, I will be yours. Private property, only you throw me away, I don't abandon you."

Ji Lingxiao suppressed her self-deprecating smile and looked at him in a daze.If this is a declaration of courtship, it is more touching than liking you and I love you, but people's hearts will change, and no matter how warm the relationship is, it will fade with the passage of time. When he no longer likes himself so much, he still Willing to be the "private property" of a cowardly monster?Will I be abandoned again by then?