I can't live, I can't afford to die

Liang Shiwei was stunned for a moment, and opened his palm with a smile, letting Xiao Xiao's fingers wrap around his fingers one by one.

Xiao Xiao's smile deepened, and a small round scar around his mouth appeared on his cheek.

There are fewer and fewer tourists around, and many of them just stop and watch from the outside.Liang Shiwei saw that Xiao Xiao didn't have much effort, the down jacket on Xiao Xiao's outside was already covered by a layer of water mist, so he dragged Xiao Xiao out whether he wanted to or not.

Xiao Xiao looked back reluctantly all the way, and complained to Liang Shiwei: "I still want to go to the pool under the waterfall to have a look."

Liang Shiwei dragged him away faster and faster: "Do you want to swim in the pool again?"

Pulling Xiao Xiao back for a long way, until there was no more water splashing on him, Liang Shiwei took out a towel from Xiao Xiao's backpack, put it on Xiao Xiao's head and rubbed it fiercely: " If you have a headache tomorrow, don't tell me."

Xiao Xiao looked at the white towel brought out from the hotel. In the morning, he wondered why Liang Shiwei insisted on bringing it with him. It turned out to be useful.He asked Liang Shiwei: "Uncle, have you been here?"

After wiping his hair, Liang Shiwei wiped the water from his clothes: "Well, I've been here a few times. It's winter, the dry season, and the water isn't strong enough. If you like it, we'll come again in autumn."

Xiao Xiao straightly nodded happily, and he turned his head to look in the direction of the waterfall, feeling a little unsatisfied.He asked Liang Shiwei: "Uncle, what were you thinking at the foot of the waterfall just now?"

Liang Shiwei asked him back, "What about you?"

Xiao Xiao thought for a while, and then said: "I saw some water flowing into the crevices of the rocks, some flowing over the stone slabs, some caught in the stream and flowing down, and some hung on the rock wall and washed down. You see, the same water has so many shapes because of different encounters, but in the end they all flowed into the pool together." Xiao Xiao looked at Liang Shiwei, "Uncle, I used to complain that life was not good for me. Well, I have no parents since I was a child, and I have always been ignored. The moment I stood in front of the pool, I felt that this period of dissatisfaction is so what? Isn’t everyone the same in the end? "

Liang Shiwei also looked at Xiao Xiao with confusion in his eyes: "What is it like?"

Xiao Xiao stretched out his hand and drew a square frame: "Isn't it just a monument." Then, he sighed: "So what's there to care about? There's nothing you can't get through."

He smiled calmly at Liang Shiwei: "It's not my fault that Mom and Dad didn't come to see me, it's because they don't deserve it, I won't embarrass myself anymore."

Liang Shiwei was a little shocked, he asked Xiao Xiao: "Let me go?"

"Yes, let yourself go." Xiao Xiao nodded firmly, and he looked at Liang Shiwei's arm: "Uncle, it's enough to bear the guilt for so many years, even if you tattoo him into your flesh and blood, if you don't let go What's the use of living by yourself?"

Liang Shiwei stared at Xiao Xiao, looking straight into his eyes: "You know?"

"Yeah." Xiao Xiao nodded, "I checked, the pattern on your arm, is that poppy, it represents salvation?"

Liang Shiwei didn't speak, just looked at him without blinking.

"You want to be redeemed, but you never believe that your sister will forgive you, your parents will forgive you, uncle, you are in a cocoon."

Liang Shiwei bowed his head and did not speak. He reached into his pocket and touched it for a while, only to remember that Xiao Xiao didn't let him bring a cigarette when he went out today. His hand stopped in his pocket, and he remained silent.

After a while, he said: "I don't tell anyone about my family. In fact, I just heard some rumors. Everyone thought my sister committed suicide. I was depressed because I was sad. I blamed myself. But I am not."

He looked up into the distance, with a desolate look on his face: "I thought I hated my sister, but I didn't realize until the moment I saw her dead body that I've been avoiding my emotions since I was a child. I thought they ignored me , don’t care about me, so I hate them, I ignore them desperately, I thought that if I lost my feelings, I would not be disappointed or uncomfortable. Until my parents died, my sister died, I found out, even if It’s disgusting, and in the end I will feel uncomfortable.”

He paused, then said in a deep voice, "If you don't want to be hurt, don't put any emotion on anyone."