[Zhongyingmei] Who is my father?

1.

It started at the moment when Deadpool proposed to celebrate Children's Day.

Although the age of each of them is far away from that of children, their psychology is completely worthy of this national holiday, so that many times, Joyce can't help but have the illusion that he is in kindergarten.And since this day is so suitable for them, with the intention of recreating childhood memories for a poor little boy who grew up in the laboratory, he did not express any clear objection, and gave Wade the ability to pretend Confidence.

Joyce's fathers also attached great importance to this festival.After all, except for Magneto, almost everyone firmly believes that Joyce and Zero are still babies, not only to celebrate Children's Day, but also to celebrate Children's Day in a grand and lively way to satisfy their rare opportunity to experience the thrill of being fathers.

"I think these people are extremely distorted psychologically and need intervention."

Having lost his temper, Joyce held the life-sized teddy bear presented by Captain America in his arms, sat on the long table in the laboratory, and said this to Zero in front of him.

"I feel so too."

After staring at each other silently for a while, Zero agreed.The cat ears that Joyce forcibly pressed on his head and sent by some father kept shaking with his movements, which formed a perfect contrast with Zero's loveless expression, and even had a weird cuteness , It's hard to take your eyes off.

Joyce felt that if Zero tilted his head any more, he would have a heart attack.

It's just unbearably cute.

"Hey, how can you say that about your dad."

Hearing their conversation, Tony, who was trying to put together the model of Asgard sent by Thor, was a little dissatisfied: "This clearly shows the deep love for you, a little sympathy for the old and the young, okay?"

...Then do you have any?

With his chin resting on the huge bear's head, Joyce sighed silently, not knowing what to say.And Zero's face was already livid, and he expressed his vague dissatisfaction with the cat ears on his head many times, but he didn't know that his actions had been recorded by Friday, and the group sent them out, almost making everyone shiver at the same time.

"So what exactly are you calling us here for?"

He glanced at his phone, and set a high-definition uncensored photo of Zero's cat ears on the front as a screen saver.Joyce put down the tools of the crime extremely calmly, pretending that he did not see the resentful eyes of the other party, and said to the president's father like this:

"To tell us everyone but you got us Children's Day presents?"

"You guys are so lacking in love when you're too old to celebrate this kind of festival?"

Trying to plug a roof over a palace that doesn't match it, but can't because of the magic attached to it.Tony threw down the model angrily, staring at the little Asgard in front of him, he couldn't believe that his clever brain would be defeated by mere magic: "...Friday, check how much Sol is worth, I'm going to buy his home."

"I suggest you not, Sir." Friday refused solemnly.

And Joyce: "..."

Is the world of rich people so capricious?

"Forget it, this unlucky thing, maybe it's something Loki made to make me feel better."

Straightening up under the strange eyes of the two sons, the president's father finally looked up at each other, and made a statement that made Joyce's stomach ache: "Where did we just talk... Oh yes, although I think it's Children's Day It's really boring, but since all the wild fathers outside of you have given you gifts, if I don't give it, will it appear that Dad and I have no face—"

"..."

"So, I have wrapped up Disney for you."

Raising his hands, he stood on the chair and made a concave shape.Tony raised his chin and announced to the two with the pride of a local tyrant:

"The ultimate dream of all children and absolutely the best gift you can ever receive."

"..."

It's hard to say which part of the logic in this passage shocked me.Joyce and Zero were silent for a long time amidst the sudden bad news, they looked at each other, and finally the latter asked sincerely:

"What's wrong with your brain?"

2.

Furious, Iron Man eventually sends his Warframe Legion to drop the two directly into the playground.After landing, Joyce was surprised to find that the two of them were not the only ones preparing for this kind of sand sculpture festival.

"If there is such a fun place, of course you should call me not."

Bouncing and rolling over from a distance.Deadpool enthusiastically opened his arms towards Joyce, but before he could feel Hani's soul-striking kick, the cat ears on Zero's head gave him a strong visual shock.

"Fuck hahahahaha!!!!" Deadpool felt like laughing his head off: "What kind of sand sculpture are you?!"

"..."

Only then did he remember that he hadn't taken off his ears yet, Zero's face turned from blue to white, from white to blue, and finally completely black.

"I think it looks pretty." Captain America came over and expressed his opinion with a smile: "Bucky thinks so too."

"Yeah." The Winter Soldier kicked away Wade, who was rolling all over the floor, and nodded.

"I agree with the captain." Dr. Banner pushed his glasses.

"It's okay." Tony put away the armor: "Why don't you bring the cat tail together?"

"..."

It took a lot of strength for Joyce to hold Zero down and keep him from kicking up.After all, he was the one who encouraged the other party to try the new gift, and he was half responsible for this situation. In order not to let the person who was finally strangled by Zero become himself, Joyce turned his pleading eyes to the last two The one who speaks.

"I'm passing by." The black widow shrugged and said indifferently if she had received the other party's brainwaves.

"I'm passing by too." Hawkeye also followed.

"Where's Wanda and Vision?" After a mysterious silence, Tony found that the head was wrong, and looked around: "Aren't they the ones who should celebrate this Children's Day?"

"Wanda is going to celebrate Quicksilver, and Vision is with her." Natasha replied.

"Then there's no problem." The president's father snapped his fingers at everyone: "Come on, the party can start."

Almost everyone raised their arms and cheered.

"...Wait, are you just ignoring my existence?"

Speaking unhappily, Falcon's voice was drowned in the sudden music.Only Joyce heard his complaints.

He glanced back at him.

"Who are you?" the ex-killer asked politely, "The staff here? Sorry, are they too noisy?"

Sam: "..."

3.

In America, there is an unwritten law: When the Avengers are together somewhere, something will happen there.If it's okay, don't worry, they will definitely figure it out on their own.

He didn't know that this group of people had a stronger physique than himself.After everyone scattered like wild dogs, Joyce and Zero each had an ice cream and started hanging out in the playground.The former looked curiously at every fairy tale character he was not familiar with, while the latter silently followed behind each other, staring at Joyce's back in a daze, occasionally answering a few words, and having a good time for a while.

They quickly come to the subject of Snow White.

"I remember this was the first fairy tale I read."

With a look of nostalgia on his face, Joyce licked the cream, and said to Zero: "Steve told me."

At that time, he had just escaped from Hydra and broke into Captain America's house in a daze.Steve found that he sometimes couldn't fall asleep at night, so he deliberately came to tell him bedtime stories every day, as if this would allow a killer to overcome his instincts and fall asleep obediently in a strange place.

Until now, Joyce still feels that the other party's brain is simply a hole.

"But you like it."

The staff who played Snow White came up to give them a small gift, an apple with two colors. Zero watched as Joyce reached out to take it for him, thanked him politely, and revealed the other's little secret without hesitation.

And Joyce didn't deny it.

"I like it very much." He nodded, with a little smile in his eyes: "Sometimes I think you are like the princess who ate the poisoned apple, sleeping peacefully, and me, the prince, running around looking for something that can make you happy." How you survived."

"The prince woke up the princess with a kiss, and you saved me." Zero followed his words, "So you owe me a kiss."

"..."

It's hard to tell whether Joyce was struck by Zero's wit or his brazenness.He opened his mouth and was about to say something when he suddenly felt something was wrong with the surrounding scenery.Snow White, who gave them apples, raised her head and showed a weird smile. Her bright red lips opened and closed, as if she were a monster who wanted to swallow them in one gulp.

"Happy Children's Day."

She giggled and said:

"I will help you fulfill this wish, and I will treat it as a holiday gift for you."

Then, the surroundings completely changed into another look.It's like fairy tales that only exist in fiction finally come to life, smiling mysteriously at them.

4.

"So," being forcibly summoned on the merry-go-round, Iron Man looked at the Avengers with the same unkind expressions around him, and said word by word: "This is a prank."

"No, it's a spell." Loki corrected him patiently: "I just mispronounced a spell."

"So it's a prank, the kind that failed."

Tony insisted politely, paused for a moment, then turned to the others and started yelling:

"Why is this Bambi here, hasn't any of you screened people here?!!!!"

"We don't have the money to book this place, Stark." Black Widow calmly choked him back, stopping a predictable mutual blame: "The question now is, how do we get out of this magic?" go out?"

"..."

Everyone turned their gazes to the Cthulhu, who was still wearing Snow White's long dress.

"This is my gift to those two ants over there, to satisfy their wishes."

Stared at by more than a dozen pairs of unfriendly eyes, Loki had no choice but to point to Joyce, who was still in a daze, and Zero, who stood in front of him vigilantly, and tried to explain:

"Now that the magic is in effect, everyone has to play the role of Snow White in order to break the magic... The good news is that we have enough people to play all the roles."

The Avengers sneered at the same time.

"The even better news is that our great evil god accidentally got himself involved."

Poking the pink bubble floating next to him, the president's father rolled his eyes, resolutely despised Rocky's behavior that harms others and does not benefit himself, and taunted Joyce by the way:

"So your wish is for everyone to play cosplay with you? Snow White?? Should I also buy you two sets of Barbie dolls and bubble skirts online???"

"..."

Joyce felt that he couldn't answer this question, and no matter how he explained it, he would probably be speechless.What made him even more unacceptable was that even Wade gave him a hellish expression, as if he was a pervert even scarier than him, which hurt Joyce's self-esteem every minute.

"Do you need me to stab him to death?"

Accurately reading his thoughts from his expression, Zero asked so sweetly.

"Please." Joyce waved his hands tiredly.

And Deadpool: "..."

How fat four? !

Now I don't speak and start to pull hatred? ! ! !

5.

All in all, when Loki repeatedly stated that it was useless to stab him or Joyce, everyone could only follow the original script and perform a fairy tale to break the sand sculpture magic.

"So what are our roles?"

Only Deadpool seemed genuinely happy about the surprise.He rubbed his hands excitedly, and asked Loki this question.

"My magic, of course, will choose the most suitable person to become the most suitable role."

Trying to forcibly win a wave of respect for himself, Loki replied proudly, and again intentionally or unintentionally ignored the hostile eyes of the people around him: "Choose a narrator first, and then he will tell you who to play."

Everyone thought for a while, and voted with a show of hands. In the end, Iron Man's AI was successfully elected on Friday.

"For the integrity of the story and the purpose of the magic, it chose Mr. Zero to be Snow White," Friday said politely. "And Mr. Loki will be the stepmother and queen who framed Snow White in the story."

Zero: "..."

Loki: "..."

"I now believe that it has indeed assigned the most suitable candidate." Suppressing a smile, his face began to distort.Tony glanced at the black-faced evil god, and finally couldn't help laughing out: "What about the prince? Of course, such a handsome and rich character must be managed by the great genius Stark—"

"Please allow me to remind you, Sir," Friday interrupted him quietly: "The prince is going to kiss the princess awake in the end."

"...'s son Joyce is here to play." Tony immediately changed his words graciously.

Joyce: "..."

"Then what about me?!" Deadpool raised his hand expectantly: "What am I?"

"You are the magic mirror." Friday said: "The kind that does nothing but nagging."

Deadpool:"……"

"It's pretty similar." Tony nodded, very satisfied with the matching degree of this persona.So he confidently asked his own AI: "So what am I playing? Is it a wise and powerful character who will effectively promote the development of the plot?"

"Yes, Sir." Friday paused, and agreed with his own will: "A very important person."

"What is it?" The CEO's father was triumphant.

"Dwarf."

"..."

Hold.

6.

"A long time ago, there was a beautiful princess whose skin was as white as snow. Everyone called her Snow White. She had a stepmother, a queen, who was vain and evil. The queen was very jealous of Snow White's beauty..."

The calm voice of Friday is slowly sounding, stimulating everyone's nerves.

"...I'm not jealous of your beauty at all." Loki said dryly.

"Fuck you." Zero was equally deadpan.

"Now please start your performance." No matter how fucked up his actor was, Friday politely reminded: "The queen and the magic mirror will go on stage first."

Loki and Deadpool walked to the center of everyone's sight at the same time, and pretended that they didn't hear the vaguely suffocated laughter in the crowd.

"Mirror, mirror," Loki stammered, his face greener than the Asgardian robe on his body, "tell me, who is the most beautiful...woman in the world."

"You are too old, and you are still facing the crisis of middle-aged baldness." Deadpool, the only one among all people who intends to act well, said seriously, and has never been so sincere in his life: "The grown-up Zero is a thousand times more beautiful than you .”

"..."

Loki's face became even worse: "Then I'm going to kill him. So, where is the hunter? Go and bring Snow White into the forest to kill, and then bring her heart back... and can you take the mirror by the way?" You smashed it for me too?"

"You don't have that authority," Friday replied politely.

"It's time for me to play?" Stretching her waist, the black widow who played the hunter smiled and walked up to Zero: "I want to kill you, but I have to take out your heart?"

"You can try." Zero replied dryly, "I'll break your neck."

"Forbid Snow White to beat the hunter," said Friday.

"You're so cute." Obviously not paying attention to Zero's threat, Natasha narrowed her eyes, waved her hand symbolically, and then turned back to report to the queen.

"The hunter couldn't do anything to Snow White, so he killed a wild boar and gave its heart to the queen. But Snow White was abandoned in the forest, lost her way, and finally fainted on the ground."

Flirting out a script that is shameful for grown-ups, Friday is dutifully present for its narrator.In any case, it was relatively smooth to advance to the second act.

"The small animals in the forest found the fainted Snow White, and cautiously surrounded her...Snow White, please cooperate."

Zero pursed his lips and sat down reluctantly on the ground.Everyone swears they actually saw him roll his eyes.

"It's our turn?" After receiving Friday's reminder, Steve, who was watching with relish, came back to his senses, and walked forward with the Winter Soldier, Falcon, and Dr. Banner.

"Look, this is my beautiful son... Snow White." Captain Squirrel said lovingly.

"Why did she faint here?" Bucky the Deer continued, darting his eyes to his own lines.

"I don't know." Sam Bird shook his head, and at the same time felt that he was mentally retarded more deeply than now.

"Then let's wake him up and ask." Dr. Rabbit pushed his glasses and finally concluded.

The cutscenes go quickly, given the cooperation of several real adults.The little animals sympathized with Snow White's experience, and led the hungry and cold princess to the dwarfs' cabin, allowing her to find a way to survive, and finally even reaped love.From here the story begins to change.

"...I think the plot is a bit familiar."

Touching his chin, only Joyce, who played the main role at the end, was silent for a while, and commented: "Zero really fits this character."

"The one who fits is obviously you."

Glancing at him sideways, Iron Man snorted from his nose:

"Dwarfs can't make you survive a genetic breakdown, princess. It's an insult to cast my genius in such a role."

"Yes."

Having been holding back a smile for a long time, Hawkeye nodded again and again at Joyce's complicated gaze, and patted the CEO's father on the shoulder gloatingly: "In order for us to get out of here, you sacrifice yourself, little man... ...But to be honest, at least your image really fits!"

"..."

Tony was so choked up that he couldn't say a word.And when he was thinking about whether he needed to give the other party a palm shot, Friday had already reminded them that the dwarf scene was about to begin.

"Please go to Snow White, Sir." AI said clearly: "And Mr. Button, you are also the player of the dwarf, please be prepared."

Hawkeye: "...fuck."

Tony: "Hahahahaha!!"

7.

The next scene is divided into two parts.

The dwarves took in Snow White and let her stay in their wooden house, but she had to be paid for her work, and she was not allowed to give it to strangers when they went out, in case her stepmother continued to harm her.

"Did you hear that, you will continue to work for me in the future. The nano-bomb that Joyce made last time hasn't been successfully developed yet."

Looking up, Tony put his hands on his hips, and said to Zero sitting on the bench like this:

"As long as you come to my laboratory, he will definitely come. We can discuss this."

"...Go away."

Zero answered him with a blank stare.

On the other side, the queen, who thought she had solved Snow White, came to the magic mirror again and asked it who is the most beautiful woman in the world.

"Anyway, it can't be you." Deadpool said categorically, "My Hani is a hundred times prettier than you... At least he hasn't suffered from hair loss so far."

"..." Loki said blankly, "Can I smash the magic mirror?"

"Please act according to the script."

Friday politely declined him.

After two failed assassinations.The wicked queen made an apple, half of which was poisonous and half of which was not.And disguised herself as an old woman and knocked on the dwarf's cabin.Loki had no choice but to use spells to change his appearance and figure, and walked up to Zero with an apple in his hand.

"I'll give you an apple, it's not poisonous." He said concisely.

"..."

Showing a mentally retarded look, Zero turned his head silently, perfectly interpreting the word "don't eat".

"It's really not poisonous, don't believe we are half of us. Look——"

Take out a knife and cut the apple in half.Loki handed over the poisonous half, took the non-poisonous half himself, and was about to give it to his mouth, but was stopped by the other party halfway.

"Let's change." Zero said coldly, "I want to eat the other half."

Loki: "..."

Can you act according to the script? ! !

He began to deeply suspect that he was sick, why he couldn't think about coming to Disney to trouble Joyce.Can't you chase after me when you play with Thor?Although that mentally handicapped brain doesn't work very well, he is normal after all! ! !

And when the evil god was about to go crazy, Joyce stood up at the right time to appease his protagonist.

"Be obedient, Zero." He encouraged, "After acting this part, it will be over soon."

"..."

What he meant was that as long as he didn't put down the stall, the farce would come to an end soon, and they could be liberated.And Zero didn't know what to imagine, his eyes turned around on his lips, and he became silent miraculously.And nodded, reached out and took the poisonous half of the apple, took a bite, then pretended to be poisoned, and lay down on the ground.

"So I want to know how an apple can be half poisonous and half not poisonous. It's not scientific."

The dwarf who came back found Snow White lying on the ground, walked around him a few times, touched his chin and fell into deep thought: "And this involves a problem in probability, why can the queen be sure that Snow White will really eat it?" The poisonous half..."

"I do not want to hear."

Another dwarf moved the princess who was heavier than him to the bed with a bitter face, and held back for a long time under Friday's urging, barely howling a few times:

"My son! You died so badly!!"

Zero: "..."

Nima's mental retardation? This is it.

Hawkeye's voice attracted the passing prince, Joyce coughed lightly, and finally stepped onto the stage as the curtain ended.Following Friday's guidance, he walked to Zero with his eyes closed, with a bewildered expression on his face.

"Can I help you with something?" he asked.

"Of course there is."

Sitting on the chair with legs crossed, Tony casually pointed to the lying princess: "Kiss him to wake him up, and then I will be free from this sand sculpture script."

"Yes, kiss him to wake him up." Touching the folded bow in his arms, Hawkeye also echoed: "I have wanted to beat up the queen over there for a long time."

Loki: "..."

All eyes were on the prince, but Joyce himself felt a little embarrassed now.He stared at Zero who was resting with his eyes closed and waiting for his secondary personality to throw himself into his arms for a long time, but in the end he was too embarrassed to speak, so he could only speak softly in the other's ear.

"Do I have to be kissed to wake me up?" His voice sounded very embarrassed: "Can I borrow a seat?"

"No." Said one step faster than Friday, Zero pursed his lips, with an aggrieved expression on his face: "Is that why you don't like me?"

"I...not...my..."

Almost shocked by his hurt tone, Joyce stuttered for a long time, trying to explain but didn't know what to say.In the end, he could only sigh and raise his hands in surrender.

"Okay, don't hit me," he said dejectedly.

Then he turned his head slightly, and lightly touched Zero's cool lips.

...It's too soft.

I just felt like my heart was about to jump out of my chest, and fireworks exploded in all directions.The moment Joyce, the innocent little virgin, kissed the other party, his mind was blown to the point where only this thought was left.

And as the lips of the two of them touched, everyone could clearly feel that the burden on Shuo's body had disappeared.The magic is lifted, everything is back to normal, and the world starts to work again.

"It feels great."

Everyone except Joyce and Zero moved their necks and wrists, and then all stared at the evil god who hadn't had time to escape.

Loki: "..."

Wait, what are you going to do to me who is helpless? ! ! !

8.

Zero opened his eyes.Looking at the face that was exactly the same as his own, a dull light flickered in his eyes.

Joyce's kiss was like a superficial touch, but it touched his lips lightly.This feeling is like the clear spring flowing from the fingers in the mountains. Although it is clear and shallow, it is really beautiful and fascinating.

However, Zero wanted more.

A kiss on the lips is not enough.No body clinging together, not enough.The feeling of emptiness in my arms is not enough.He wanted to taste every inch of Joyce's body, to turn into a storm, to absorb the nutrients for his survival, to fuse him with his own blood and bones.Joyce gave him the power to do whatever he wanted from the very beginning, and Zero knows that this power is still valid today, and it can even make him expect more.

"you owe me."

Finally unable to bear it, he stretched out his arm, encircled Joyce's unexpectedly slender waist with one hand, inserted it into his hair with the other, and opened his mouth between the other's lips.

"?"

Joyce's puzzled eyes were like a catalyst, clean and pure like a cub, completely tearing away his last bit of restraint. Zero smiled suddenly, and pressed Joyce into his arms with great force, then turned over and pressed Joyce under him.

"Z……"

Without giving him any chance to speak, Zero kissed deeply, far more aggressively than Joyce.Even the tip of the tongue opened the lips and teeth, swept every inch it could reach, and greedily snatched the other person's breath.

So attached, so pressed, so crazy.

The sky full of fireworks bloomed in the night sky, like a galaxy in full bloom.They hugged each other tightly, as if they wanted to erase the whole world from their minds, and only each other was the only reality they had.

9.

Snow White finally lived happily with the prince.

So do they.