After the global recovery I crossed

"You don't resist," Gaspard said.

The fallen little angels slowly opened their eyes, while Zhao Lue slowly closed them, falling into the darkness that he didn't know whether he could see like the angels.

Zhao Lue had a dream.

It's hard to tell if it's a nightmare or not.

One day, a few days after Zhao Lue came back from abroad, he felt that his mother was preoccupied.

Finally Zhao Yanjia stopped Zhao Lue, and moved a small stool by himself to sit by the pond in the yard.

Zhao Yanjia's face was very serious, and she said to Zhao Lue: "You have been abroad for two years, and you have grown up."

Zhao Lue was surprised: "Mom, you don't want to give me a blind date, do you?"

Zhao Yanjia didn't even smile at all, she looked at Zhao Lue's gradually retracting smile, and took a deep breath.

She said that there was one thing, one very important thing, to tell Zhao Lue. She had thought about it for a long time, and she would not say it until one of them dared to say it and the other dared to accept it.

Zhao Lue thought for a while and asked, "You mean... Dad?"

Zhao Yanjia was startled, and after a while, nodded and shook his head.

However, Zhao Lue's words seemed to give her an idea, and she began to slowly tell the story of herself and a man.

Zhao Lue threw the bait for the koi into the pond and watched the sun shine into the pond.

The tone of the mother's story also changed from the radiance of the rising sun to the brokenness of being bitten by a fish's mouth.

This story is just a foreshadowing, and my mother used a paragraph to connect the past and the future.

She said: "When a woman falls in love with a man, the first half of her life becomes a mirror in the mirror. No matter how proud she was before, she loses a heart full of pride for herself in the second half of her life."

The second half sentence is: "When a woman has a child, she is not just a woman anymore, she is the mother of the child."

Zhao Lue paused and asked, "And then?"

Mom didn't speak, looking at the pond that was as calm as a mirror because Zhao Lue stopped throwing bait.

A mother and a child are reflected there.

Zhao Lue has always been a smart person, he keenly felt her meaning from Zhao Yanjia's words.

He felt that the tip of his tongue had been sliced ​​off, the pain was so sharp, and the words he blurted out were like a knife: "You regret falling in love with that man, and also regret giving birth to me?!"

Zhao Yanjia was silent for a while.

Will parents regret giving birth to themselves-this is actually a question that every child will have.

For children from single-parent families like Zhao Lue, if they see one parent suffering hard, they will doubt the pressure that their own existence brings to the family.

Zhao Lue felt wrong, because his mother didn't work hard, Zhao Yanjia didn't bear heavy suffering because of giving birth to Zhao Lue, and Zhao Lue himself never felt so bad because he didn't have a father, he was loved by many people, he was countless The young master of the Zhao family that everyone admires, his mother is also the former eldest daughter of the Zhao family who has not suffered in life.

But he suddenly felt uncomfortable breathing, and with each breath, he seemed to feel another emotion of himself.

——He only has his mother as a family member. He has no grandfather, uncle, or other family members. He has no wealth, no friends, and no envy of the world.

All the time, he—that he only had his mother.

His questioning didn't seem to be for himself.

Maybe it was his expression that made my mother feel distressed and heartbroken. My mother's tears flowed down, and she refused to say any more. She only said that she had never regretted giving birth to Zhao Lue, and that she just felt the responsibility to tell Zhao Lue why He has no father.

Zhao Lue hugged her, deliberately showing a relieved smile.After his mother left, he made several phone calls to relatives, asked some seemingly irrelevant questions, and pieced together a truth from these questions——

Mom wanted to go to have an abortion.

Just like some women who are pregnant with scumbag boys, they will go to abortion.Before they got pregnant, they didn't know that men were scumbags, so they couldn't scold them for not being aware of contraception. It would be harsh to say that they got pregnant before marriage.

They didn't know that man was a scumbag until after they got pregnant, so they shouldn't be judged by outsiders for their behavior as a child of a scumbag boy.If an outsider said the last sentence "the child is innocent" calmly, it would put a heavy shackle on the woman's body.

People should know what it's like to be a single mother with children in society.

Zhao Lue also knows that a mother's life should not be tied down by a child.

After all, many of these women couldn't bear to kill their flesh and blood children. Many of them went to the hospital, heard the child's heartbeat, and heard the doctor's horrific description of the abortion, and fled.

Regardless of whether it was because Zhao Yanjia couldn't bear it, was reluctant, or because he wanted to be strong and mature, or because he didn't have as much pressure as ordinary women, in short, Zhao Lue was born safely, and he felt the depth of maternal love in the past 20 years It can make him accept the fact that his mother thought about abortion without any grudges.

He held the bait between his fingers and dipped it into the water.

He has decided not to think about this matter anymore, but for some reason, some thoughts are not right.

He was thinking: If his mother had chosen to run away instead of staying in the Zhao family, would she have really abandoned herself?

A worthless presupposition, contrary to the truth, made him ecstatic.

Just as he was thinking about it, his skin itched slightly, an extremely rare white koi swam to his hand in the way of other koi, and gently bumped against his fingertips.

A light but firm word came from Zhao Lue's ear: [No, she really loves you. ]

Perhaps knowing the gods in the past and present are comforting him clumsily, Zhao Lue accepts the truth from his mother and also accepts the comfort from the gods.

He never thought about it again.

Until one day, he suddenly crossed an idea: the reason why my mother couldn't say it was because she had not only thought about abortion, but she had actually done it.

She just didn't make it...or...succeeded, but the fetus survived.

Because he, Zhao Lue, was born to be guarded by a dragon - that's what the anecdote that used to be circulated said, isn't it?Because everyone knows what she has done, when the child survives well, this kind of thing that is guarded by a dragon is so believable, isn't it?Who would really foolishly believe that there is a dragon because of the nurse's sentence "there is something next to the baby".

Zhao Lue's intuition from small to accurate made him feel that what he thought was true.

It's funny to say that he was pissed off by an intuitive guess of his own.

In the evening, he invited friends to drink, and even took his temper out on Wang Xichen, who was completely innocent.

When he told Wang Xichen about this incident, he was thinking that if Wang Xichen scolded his mother, he would scold Wang Xichen; If he takes it seriously, then he doesn't take it too seriously.

As a result, Wang Xichen's eyes were full of fear...

Even more frightened than Zhao Lue himself.

It seems that Wang Xichen was afraid that Zhao Lue was really almost not in this world, and was afraid that Zhao Lue would treat himself as a monster both inside and outside the words...

Looking at the almost pale comforting expression that emerged after his fear, Zhao Lue used a joke as a signal that this matter was over.

He laughed, and Wang Xichen had no choice but to laugh too.

Come to an end.

Only one sentence emerged from the dream, like a white koi slicing Zhao Lue's reflection when it emerged from the water, crushing the reflection and the dream.

——what am I?

…………

——I am Zhao Lue.

——I am Lin Xingtao.

Zhao Lue opened his eyes, his thoughts turned blank after a moment of clarity.

In the dazed thoughts, the sweet scent of crushed petals at the tip of the nose is particularly clear.

Rubbing his sleepy eyes, he saw himself lying on the bed, covered with a soft quilt.He stared at the vertical beams beside the glass windows for a while. The cold and gorgeous furniture and the high and layered ceiling made this room not like a bedroom for people to sleep, but like a temple for worshiping gods.

After a while, he lifted the quilt, moved his body and sat on the edge of the bed.

He faced Gaspard who was nearby, who had been waiting beside the bed for an unknown amount of time.

Gaspard was wearing a white gown, without a trace of stitching, with very few folds from head to toe.His long golden hair hangs down meticulously behind his head like this robe that is as pale as a shroud. There is actually a slight wind in the room, but this wind seems to be modifying every strand of hair.

His sitting posture was not particularly dignified, but extremely elegant. There was a book on his lap, and when Zhao Lue sat down, he was slowly turning a page.

The slight rustling of the pages of the book and the slight noise of Zhao Lue's clothes rubbing against each other made the sunlight shining through the room feel scorchingly warm.

Zhao moved his legs slightly, and his knees touched Gaspard's.

"How long have I been asleep?" he asked.

Gaspard stopped, raised his head, and replied: "Three days. You can continue to sleep, and I will be here with you."

Really win by lying down, Zhao Lue thought.

"What are you looking at?" Zhao Lue asked.

Gaspard said: "Deep Digging for Mother's Love, written by Chutian's famous educator."

He read out the passage he was reading: "Some people overestimate maternal love. The most vulnerable time of human beings is precisely when they are in the mother's body. At that time, human life and death are not protected by any law, because they are just a piece of flesh, a A mass of breathing flesh that plucks nourishment from its mother."

—a lump of meat.Gaspard looked at Zhao Lue calmly. There was no femininity on the perfect face, but there was a delicate sense of dreaminess. Under the rendering of the overhead chandelier, a kind of tenderness and love that was almost a lie.

He closed the book and said: "Some people underestimate maternal love too much. The happiest time for human beings is precisely when they are in the mother's body. At that time, human beings are not human beings, but only flesh and blood infused with love, and their only identity is the mother's child. "

Zhao Lue thought of what he said, "You are different from him, and I am also different from her." He asked, "What do you think of her?"

Gaspard bent down, took slippers from the side, and said: "A woman who spoils her children so much that she can only make compromises, devotes herself wholeheartedly to the identity of mother, can't live without children, twisted, pathetic, crazy .”

Zhao Lue put on his shoes and heard him add: "... There are also things that I envy."

He put away his shoes and was about to get up. At this time, Zhao Lue stood up one step ahead of him, holding his shoulders to prevent him from getting up.

Zhao Lue looked down at those quiet eyes of green light and mist, and said something that became very profound after dreaming:

"I often feel that a woman is not a slave to the three obediences and four virtues, female virtues and female commandments, a rib dug out from a man, a wife in a monogamous relationship, a working woman who holds up half the sky, a mother who is strong She is not synonymous with any identity that society attaches to her to make her better or worse."

Gaspard evoked a beautiful smile that was enough to make people kneel down: "Then what is she?"

"She is my whole world." Zhao Lue saw himself in Gaspard's eyes, he was a little surprised by his current appearance, and continued, "You are yourself, as you said, you are The center of the world, you should also have time to be yourself. You are Gaspard, the person who has never been in contact with evil gods and has never been crazy, you don’t have to give everything for your child, and you don’t have to compromise.”

Zhao Lue withdrew his hand and touched the skin of Gaspard's neck, which was as cold as a snake.

He walked towards the window, and he saw Chen Kele sitting on the steps in armor, looking at the clouds in the distance, and after a sideways glance at Zhao Lue, Chen Kele laughed.

"You look too..." Chen Ke hesitated to speak.

"What?" Zhao Lue pushed back his silver hair.

"Forget it, I'm a straight man." Chen Kele stopped talking.

Looking into the distance, Zhao Lue said to Gaspard behind him, "I am myself too—I want to go to Chutian myself."

Gaspard couldn't help whispering softly. He gritted his teeth and said the child's name slowly, his voice suddenly laughing: "I'll go with you-my dear."

-

In these three days, the world is not what it used to be.

When Chutian was stunned by the sudden death of their emperor and the attack on the palace, Lorraine was also at a loss for the recovery of the dark forces and the awakening of the pope.

The news is broadcast in the streets and alleys of Chutian.

"At four o'clock in the morning yesterday, a private armed force of more than 1 people appeared in the Heihe area at the junction of Dongling area and Xiling area. It seriously disturbed public order in the name of 'summoning the army'. At five o'clock, the army dispatched, The leader of the private armed forces was shot dead on the spot, and the armed forces then strangled them."

"Yesterday at three o'clock in the afternoon, all the organizations and forces that openly declared the independence of humans and orcs, headed by the Orc organization, were bombed by our army on a large scale, and they collapsed within 10 minutes. flee."

"Today at twelve o'clock at noon, under the order of the Crown Prince and the approval of the central alliance, all six armies will enter the border defense area to block any hostile armed forces that may endanger the national territorial security and the lives and health of the people, and a world announcement will be issued at one o'clock in the afternoon."

"We don't want to attribute this matter to the Lorraine Kingdom, which has always been in harmony with us, but we need Lorraine to give us a serious confession. All humans and orcs in the Chutian Alliance state are deeply saddened to express to everyone in Lorraine: At this point, if there is no reasonable explanation, our country will definitely dispatch armed forces, blood for blood, tooth for tooth. Righteous force is vigorous, and those who jump the beam will be stabbed even if they are strong. I hope Lorraine is ready."

"The situation is urgent, the royal family is urgently preparing for the enthronement ceremony, can the crown prince ascend the throne smoothly?" "

"Lorraine dispatched a large-scale armed bombardment of its own people, what is the picture? "

"Is the identity of Lu Rong, a student of the national defense army true, and why is his star similar to Ziwei Dixing?" "

Analysis of the Mysterious Prophecy About the First Emperor! ! ! "

"It is reported that the Pope of Lorraine has promised to visit Chutian in the near future, and he promised to make a public statement on all events."

The author has something to say: I saw it from the Internet about Three Confucianism and Four Virtues. It’s been a long time and I don’t really remember it. I changed and added it based on my impression.

The first half of the news was inspired by a passage in "Starting from Guhuo Bird" (a book I like very much, and the update speed is about the same as mine...)

Chen Kele's straight male aesthetics is that Zhao Lue's son is too beautiful, like a demon.

Zhao Yanjia thought about having an abortion, but she didn't, so I'll talk about it later.

False lie wins: Zhao Lue lies on the bed, Gaspard hits the world.

The real lie win: One day, Zhao Lue, Fang Chao, and Chen Kele were playing black in the Holy Land, and Ji Shun connected remotely. When one person was missing, Gaspard was obliged to join, and led others to lie win, and sprayed him q .Others: 666.Gaspard: Just a little bit.