rubbish wake up

The traffic is busy, the lights are glazed, the city is very noisy, but the connections and bonds between people are fragile.

Have you ever encountered such a situation: a group of people are having a carnival, but you can’t get into it alone; a group of people are chatting enthusiastically, but you have nothing to do with them; Can't move.Cities are developing rapidly, and human beings are also polarized. More and more people are too lazy to talk, don't want to bother others, and don't want to have too much contact with others. They don't have their own interests and hobbies. In the safe shell, I watched the world cold and warm with cold eyes.However, under your increasingly indifferent appearance and body, your heart will also become more and more desolate. You spend your days in such a desolate way, without knowing the meaning of existence.You have no best friends, no family, no friends, and no one in this world remembers you, or even knows that you ever existed.

Is this loneliness?

My name is Xu Minqi, and my name was randomly filled in by my parents looking through the dictionary. They don't have much education, but they have placed high hopes on me since they were young, hoping that I can become their pride and the hope of the whole village.

When I was very young, I carried a backpack that was heavier than me, and walked three miles to the town to go to school. I had no friends, and I always walked to and from school on the mountain road by myself.It was a somewhat unpleasant memory, so I don't want to recall too much.

After I went to middle school, I was even more afraid of contacting people. I devoted myself to my studies and often read books under the dim light. It was late at night when I saw it. Soon, I found that I had a problem with my eyesight. Arranged in the last row, I can't see the blackboard more and more clearly, so I can only lower my head and try to record what the teacher said in the notebook.But the teacher seems to be very disgusted with my behavior. She often throws chalk at my head and criticizes me for not paying attention in class.Therefore, I am often called by the teacher to stand in front of the blackboard as punishment.It's actually good, I can see the blackboard, although I don't dare to look up, but my bangs are very long, which allows me to peek at the blackboard through the forked bangs.

My grades were neither bad nor bad, and I barely got into a key university.My parents were very happy for me. I remember they saved so much money from nowhere, and invited many people in the village to dinner on that hot summer day.

That year was the 20-year-old I passed ahead of schedule, and it was also my college entrance examination.

After I went to college, I tried my best to blend in with the crowd, but I found that I couldn't communicate with people, and I couldn't even say a complete sentence. In the eyes of others, I must be dull.

In a blink of an eye, I will be graduating. As I approach graduation, I realize that I don't know where I should go after graduation, and what can I do?

The luck I had been accumulating for 24 years finally came in handy. I received an offer from a large electronics manufacturing company. I don’t even remember what I said during the interview.

My parents were very happy for me. They kept praising me on the phone. I was the only college student in our village, and I was a key university student. Now, I stayed in the most prosperous city and entered the best unit in the country. They thought To die without regret.

My heart tightened for no reason.

The author has something to say:

The protagonist has been withdrawn since he was a child, and has social phobia