Pilot

"Where do you care about me?"

Shi Ye impatiently said to the phone, "I would like to ask you, Shen Zui, do you memorize the words for the tour right away? Is it time for you to come and talk to me about going to a variety show? Do you think our band Is it suitable to participate in that kind of program? I didn't speak badly enough before I left, right?"

"Famousness? How famous do you want to be? Want to sprint into the global market? Have you grown all hair?"

After hearing the answer, Shi Ye laughed, "I restricted you? That's right, I restricted you. I told you clearly before that Zhong Zhengxiao wanted to add that I am a person who only sings and only knows how to sing. Playing musical instruments and singing, you can't get those stupid things, if you are intoxicated, don't be coaxed by Tan'er."

"Don't fucking make yourself uncomfortable again."

After knocking on the door of the small attic, this was the first sentence Sheng Xia heard.

Shi Ye saw Sheng Xia nodded his chin to signal him to enter the room, and then cut off the phone.

"What mask are you wearing at night?" Shi Ye probably didn't come out of the previous emotion, his brows were frowned, and his tone was not very good.

The midsummer in front of him was wearing bear pajamas and a denim jacket over it.The face could not be seen clearly, only a pair of eyes could be seen.

Midsummer paused.Only then said: "Sunburned, it doesn't look good."

Shi Ye wanted him to take it off at first, but his hands were quicker than his mouth. After he realized it, he had already stretched out his hand and tore off Sheng Xia's mask, "You should also take care of yourself. Wearing it all day is not good for the wound. You can't wear it on such a hot day. Aren’t you afraid of pus coming out? You wear it when you sleep?”

"...It doesn't look good." Sheng Xia still said, "I will take it off when I sleep."

"Who is looking at you? Isn't it just me looking at you now?" Shi Ye still frowned, "Why are you lowering your head? Are you listening to me? Look up——"

Sheng Xia thought in his heart that it's because only you look at me now, so I feel ashamed.

He reluctantly raised his scarred face: "...I heard it."

"I heard it, so forget it after listening." Shi Ye looked very much like a parent educating a child at the moment, "I have to tell you several times a day in the past few days, telling you not to smoke, it is not good for your voice It's not good for your health either. It's pretty serious during the day, but you just hide from smoking at night, right?"

Sheng Xia kept an awkward smile: "Teacher Shi Ye, I..."

Shi Ye interrupted him: "Do you have any?"

"……what?"

"Do you have any cigarettes on you?"

Shi Ye was actually a little dizzy from drinking.

He used to drink some wine when he couldn't fall asleep, and tried to fall asleep when he was a little dizzy.It's just that sometimes the more you drink, the more sleepy you become, and sometimes the more you drink, the more awake you become. Depending on the situation, today is a state where the more you drink, the more awake you become.

He turned the wine bottle on the qin platform and looked at the midsummer in front of him.But inside the head is something else.A lot of fragments of memories, pictures of the tour, the faces of strangers during the journey, the appearance of Shen Zui kissing his fruit.

very messy.

Sheng Xia took a long time to take out a pack of soft treasures and a pack of matches from his pocket, and handed them to Shi Ye.

"I don't think smoking is bad anymore." Sheng Xia obviously lacked confidence, but still tried to refute, "I think smoking is my friend, it makes me feel safe. I need it, and it needs me."

This incomprehensible nonsense is actually exactly the same as Shen Zui's dama theory.

Shi Ye took out a cigarette, lit the match, lit a cigarette, and half leaned in front of the piano.

Sheng Xia was stunned for a moment, because Shi Ye's posture of lighting cigarettes was very skillful, and his movements were also very smooth and beautiful.Before he could come to his senses, Shi Ye had already blown out a beautiful smoke ring.

The circle of smoke rings floated over.When he was about to get close to Sheng Xia's face, Shi Ye let out another breath and blew the circle away.

The smoke scattered in front of Midsummer.The smell of smoke and Shi Ye's breath blown over his face.

"I smoked for the first time when I was 12 years old. In the toilet of the school at that time, a classmate handed it to me." Shi Ye's voice was a little hoarse. "I used to smoke a lot. When I was annoying, I took one or two packs a day. It’s nothing, I also thought that smoking is my friend, anyway, I can live every day...but the body is not clear, last year I couldn’t sing because of smoking.”

He was exaggerating.In fact, not being able to sing has nothing to do with smoking.But after the throat is crippled, I really can't smoke too much.

Shi Ye's vocal cord damage was diagnosed mainly because of excessive pressure and psychological reasons.Shi Ye himself thought it was funny when he heard it.

"Before you accept something, you have to know and understand what it is, and what consequences that thing will bring to you." Shi Ye smiled lazily, "It's like when I took the first cigarette in my life. At the time, I never thought that one day I would start to resent nicotine."

Sheng Xia didn't know if he had listened, but just looked at Shi Ye in a daze.After the other party looked over, he said slowly: "Mr. Ye stopped smoking then."

Shi Ye was amused by his reaction, and asked Sheng Xia: "Can you blow smoke rings?"

Midsummer shook his head.

"I'll teach you." When he finished speaking, Ye handed him a cigarette, lit another match, and moved the fire to Sheng Xia, "Light it."

Sheng Xia wore a lot of clothes, and now the medicine was probably taking effect. He felt his body was a little limp and his head was hot.

He moved closer and lit the cigarette he was biting.

In addition to the smell of cigarettes, he also seemed to smell something faint about Shi Ye.It has a bitter taste, but it seems to be sweet again, like licorice.

Or maybe it was an illusion, after all he wasn't supposed to smell it.

"Take a breath." Shi Ye said while demonstrating, "Breathing with a sigh, keep your mouth in an O shape...don't puff your mouth like that, just be natural."

"Half a breath and half a breath, spit out the smoke, and slowly 'ha' in the way you breathe out in winter, slow down..." Shi Ye watched Sheng Xia's movements, "Try a few more times."

Sheng Xia's face is really ugly at the moment, it's quite funny.In addition to the sunburn redness, his ears were also red.

The first study failed.Shi Ye patiently taught Sheng Xia a few times, seeing that his mouth was always in the wrong shape, he simply circled his fingers, leaving a space in the middle, and put them on Sheng Xia's lips.

"Open your mouth according to the size circled by my hand, and try to spit it out." Shi Ye thought this was too stupid, "What do you think I'm doing? Spit up."

Sheng Xia only felt that his mouth was trembling, and then he was choked by the smoke he inhaled.In the end, he didn't follow Shi Ye's instructions to spit out the smoke ring that Shi Ye wanted to see, but choked himself to death.

Seeing him blushing from choking, Shi Ye thought that he should cure this adolescent boy. While covering his face and coughing in midsummer, he took a glass and poured the whiskey he bought from Xie Hong's shop before, and handed it to him. Sheng Xia said, "Drink some, take your time."

Sheng Xia had no doubts at all, he coughed so hard that his throat was sore, he took it and drank most of it.

After he swallowed it, he felt like his throat was on fire, and the choking became even more uncomfortable. When he looked up at Shi Ye again, his eyes were full of complaints.

"It's hard." Shi Ye reached for the cup in Sheng Xia's hand, "Don't drink after you know it's hard, you shouldn't touch alcohol and tobacco, you're still young, let's talk about it later."

As a result, the cup couldn't be held.Sheng Xia clenched the wine glass tightly in his hand, preventing Shi Ye from taking it back, "I'm not young anymore, I can drink it."

Shi Ye looked at him for a while, then smiled lazily, and his hand loosened.

"Teacher Shi Ye, I have something to tell you."

"I didn't gag you."

Sheng Xia drank the wine in the glass in one gulp, "Do you think I can become a good singer like you?"

"No."

"..." Sheng Xia was silenced by Shi Ye's straightforwardness, lowered his head a little, and poured himself another glass, "...so I never thought about forming a band and releasing records, just because I knew I'll never be as good a singer-songwriter as you are, so I think it's better not to humiliate myself."

"That's a childish thing to say." Shi Ye smiled, "There are so many great bands in this world, and I have been influenced by many excellent musicians. Do I feel inferior because of their excellence?"

"It's not... I just think that if I form a band, I don't want to casually recruit a few people I don't know very well. I think at least we need to understand each other." After Sheng Xia finished speaking, she touched the piano next to her and said very Suddenly, "Teacher Shi Ye, let's sing, you promised to teach me."

"It's late now, it will disturb others."

"The sound insulation in the room is very good, Teacher Shi Ye."

"But the teacher is drinking a little too much now."

"That's good too, the song I sang must be drunk."

Said it was to 'teach' Sheng Xia, but after starting, Shi Ye discovered that Sheng Xia didn't need anyone to teach him at all.

A sense of music and talent are things that cannot be obtained through hard work. As soon as Sheng Xia put his hands on the piano and improvised for a short time, Shi Ye knew that Sheng Xia was the type that God rewarded with food.

It was an amazing scene.Sheng Xia played a prelude, Ye felt familiar at the beginning, a bit like a placebo song, after he let go, it became his own taste.The charm of music can't be explained, anyway, when Shi Ye realized it, he had already picked up Sheng Xia's acoustic guitar next to him and started to play with Sheng Xia.

Every time you meet your opponent, you will feel a bit of showing off your skills and competing with each other.Sheng Xia played a little jerky at first, but then it became smoother and smoother. First, she was taken away by Shi Ye, and then she played very calmly.

Improvisation is the most test of kung fu, and ensemble is also the most important of tacit understanding.Apart from his own band, Shi Ye has collaborated with many people, but this is the first time he has such a smooth touch.

Sheng Xia even knew where he wanted to change the tone, where to accentuate, and where to gradually change.

With the sound of the piano, Shengxia slowly entered the state.Shi Ye could feel him start to stretch, he lost his usual meekness, as if he had been awakened... He began to hum along with the music, there were no lyrics, but it was really nice.

Shi Ye admitted that Sheng Xia was very charming when she sang.He is not the same as Shen Zui. Shen Zui has a natural timbre and a performance personality. When singing, he pursues the beauty of the camera too much.But Sheng Xia was different. When he sang, he was very engrossed, as if he had entered another world, and even forgot his own existence. He was very focused, as if he didn't realize that he was singing to others.

Their sense of harmony made Shi Ye feel incredible.

When the music stopped, they were all quiet for a while, and no one spoke.

He touched the strings and said, "You sing very well, and you play the piano very well."

Sheng Xia was touching her fingertips, and her eyes lit up instantly after hearing this: "Really?"

"Really, but it can be better." Shi Ye thought for a while, "As a singer, if you go to the stage to face the public, you have to remember that you are a performer. Singing is both 'acting' and 'singing'. You said before that you have a favorite band, think about it, do the lead singers of different bands have their own characteristics when they sing? That characteristic will be amplified on stage, and will be The audience perceives and remembers, and what you want to be remembered by the audience depends on your self-will. I think you lack this and are a bit empty."

Sheng Xia didn't quite agree after listening to it: "I've always felt that it's enough to sing a good song on stage, and there's no need for too many movements."

"I used to be the same as you. I thought it was enough to sing well, but singing is not just as simple as opening your mouth and making a sound." Shi Ye hated it when people confronted him, and began to get a little impatient. "You think about those legendary singers, Go down and see more of their scenes, see how they interact with the audience, how they show their little habits and charms between performances... Those are all part of the performance, you don't just sing, you want to convey yourself to the audience look."

"But I don't have anything to convey." Sheng Xia spoke casually through the wine, but it was also true, "When I sing, I am myself, and the audience can perceive me as a predestined person. If they can't perceive me, they can only say that we are There is no fate. I have always felt that the feelings that music brings to people cannot be captured, just like time. Teacher Shi Ye, can you see time? It exists, but we cannot see it. I think there is always something in this world It's mysterious and beautiful, and so is the music."

Shi Ye was a little dazed when he heard that.

Invisible, intangible, uncapturable in the three-dimensional world, unmeasured.

"There's a lot to talk about. I don't know what to talk about. You can even talk to the audience about what color socks you're wearing today, what color you are today." Shi Ye knew he was persuaded, but he continued in an educational tone, "Don't deny what you want to convey. What you find boring, others may find interesting."

After listening to Sheng Xia, she smiled and said that she understood.

"Singing so well, it's a pity to only play it to myself in the room." Shi Ye didn't know what to think of, feeling a little emotional, "Your age is the best time, in this small place, no one sees you. Playing the piano and singing somewhere, I always feel that it is a bit of a waste, time is so precious.”

"But you heard me sing, Mr. Shi Ye," Sheng Xia's tone was very happy, with a drunkenness, "I never dreamed that I could sing with you. This is a waste of time. I always feel that I am with you." Time is more like time when we are together."

Shi Ye's fingers pressing the strings paused, and his brows unconsciously frowned.

He looked at Sheng Xia's side face, a little confused...whether the kid did it on purpose or not.

tease me?

It seems, and it seems not.

Many people have said to Shi Ye that you are my idol, I like your songs very much, and I admire you very much, but few people have looked at him devoutly and said that you are my dream.

The word dream sounds childish at first glance, like a bubble, but also as naive as Sheng Xia.After all, dreams are cheap these days.But Shi Ye couldn't deny that he was poked into a soft place in his heart by these childish and dreamy words, and it also hurt his current situation.

Seems to be triggering something else as well.Like some vanity, and some sense of predation.

From Shi Ye's position, that scene was actually very beautiful.Expensive pianos, warm lighting.Surrounded by musical instruments that make Shi Ye feel familiar, every touch of a finger is a movement.It was night, there was a bed opposite, and in front of him was a boy who said he liked him for many years.The boy was good-looking, with a devotion-like expression on his face, as if saying that I would die for this moment.

Midsummer here was still immersed in the smoothness of the ensemble just now, and asked again: "Mr. Shi Ye, are you still here?"

At this moment, he really looks like his teacher. After living for more than 20 years, Ye feels that he still has the talent to teach for the first time, which is really touching.

The strange thing is that he seems to have found what he was missing in Sheng Xia.But what exactly was missing, he couldn't tell.

"Don't come yet." Shi Ye propped his chin and leaned half on the piano, "I feel so strange, it's the first time I feel like I'm playing with myself. I'm not proud, but people who can keep up with me are really good. many."

His tone was calm, even a little probing.

Midsummer was actually a little flustered.He knew that Shi Ye could feel it, why he could keep up with Shi Ye's rhythm effortlessly...

It's because he knows Shi Ye's style too well.During midsummer's long and dull adolescence, he repeatedly studied every note written by Shi Ye as his own pleasure. He may not know Shi Ye, but through the songs written by Shi Ye, he can completely She clearly understood Shi Ye's point about creation.

Shi Ye asked again: "Are you imitating me on purpose?"

Sheng Xia's heart raised and lowered, he wanted to smoke.

"Well," Sheng Xia thought, you are right if you don't understand, and I don't need you to understand, "I said, I started to like rock and sing because of listening to your songs. I have no direction, so I just I will always watch you work hard."

It's not imitation, it's just because Shi Ye is too unique in his heart, so Sheng Xia even knows Shi Ye's music better than he knows himself.

"But you won't be me, you are yourself." Shi Ye looked a bit annoyed, "It is impossible to succeed in imitating others, you have to remember this."

What Shengxia thinks is, I don't want to succeed, wouldn't it be good to be you.

He was a little disappointed, so he touched the keys and said, "Teacher Shi Ye, I really like you."

Shi Ye's heart skipped a beat when he heard this, and he even confirmed it once, "What did you say?"

"I said I like you very much." Sheng Xia said firmly, "It's been a long time."

Shi Ye frowned, then smiled: "You're drunk."

Sheng Xia just muttered and retorted: "I don't."

Sadly, what they feel at this moment is not like in the same sense.

They drank the bottle of whiskey, and no one could tell whether they were drunk or not.

After a while, Midsummer spread out the mat standing by the bed to the foot of the piano, and they sat on it, drinking the second bottle of plum wine one after another.

The more Shi Ye drank, the brighter his eyes became, and his blood gradually heated up.

Late night, alcohol, tobacco.

He lay on the mat, listening to his own heartbeat.

Sometimes Shi Ye hopes that he can be understood, but sometimes he feels that it is unnecessary.Music sometimes fills him, sometimes it murders him, sometimes it comforts, sometimes it poisons.

Every time Ye has a sense of disorientation when drinking, he will feel at a loss when he talks to himself at night... Shi Ye seems to be just a role, a symbol, and a story he plays, which is not the real himself.

"Why do you like rock and roll?"

At this moment, he felt that it was good for someone to listen to him.

Midsummer sat cross-legged next to Shi Ye, and answered a little slowly: "The reason why I like something is not that complicated, it's just that I think it's good. When I was young, I didn't fit in very well, and there were few things to play in small places, so I played musical instruments. I still remember that my mother bought me a cucurbit silk at the beginning, when I was in kindergarten, other children were playing marbles beside me, and I was learning to play Caiyunzhinan beside me.”

Midsummer is hot all over.It was not known whether it was the booze that made the body hot, or the fever, or the weather, or something else.

dizziness.

"You don't look rock." Shi Ye said, "You are actually more suitable for singing pop."

Sheng Xia pouted: "Oh, because I don't have pierced ears, tattoos, or leather pants, so I don't look rock and roll, so I can't like rock and roll?"

"I mean the feeling of rock and roll." Shi Ye shook his head, "You're a bit soft."

"It's the first time someone says that about me." Sheng Xia was a little surprised, "My classmates say I'm very cold."

Shi Ye twisted his wrist, and Sheng Xia saw the shape of Shi Ye's shoulder blades protruding.The body full of mature masculinity is different from that of a boy. Shi Ye's random movements make Sheng Xia feel very good-looking and powerful, like a wild leopard that will pounce on you at any time and tear you apart.

It seamlessly overlaps with the Shi Ye that Shengxia saw on his phone in the past.His expression is always icy, with bursting disdain.He is handsome, tall, with a height of 1.9 meters. He is one of the best guitarists in the mainland, a genius who came out of the underground, and the most dazzling star of the band.

"I don't feel it, I think you love to laugh." Shi Ye said in a lazy, casual tone, "You have a very temperament when you sing, but when you don't sing and talk to me, you are... a little silly."

"Really." Sheng Xia watched Shi Ye raise his head to drink water, his Adam's apple twitched, "I usually don't like to laugh, and I don't like to talk to people I don't know well either."

Isn't it always like this when young people are young, Shi Ye thought to himself.He smiled: "You said that you didn't take the piano test, and you didn't find a teacher. You just played by yourself. If you practice alone, many people probably won't be able to persist."

"Actually, it shouldn't be called 'playing', but they accompany me. My piano is my friend." Sheng Xia closed his eyes, only feeling dizzy in his brain, "But it seems to be playing too. Being with friends is to Play and have fun."

"Play." Shi Ye repeated the word with his eyes closed, "Happy. Since playing is for fun, why do you like pilots? I don't seem to have written many happy songs."

Sheng Xia was stunned for a long time, but he didn't answer this question, and he started to be in a daze again.In the past few days, Shi Ye found that sometimes when he was talking to Sheng Xia, the child would start to think out of his mind, and he didn't know what he was thinking.

Shi Ye waited for a while, Sheng Xia still didn't answer, he simply closed his eyes, feeling drunk.

Then he heard a ringing above his head.When he opened his eyes, Shi Ye saw Sheng Xia holding a wooden hook and pushing open the skylight above their heads.

He didn't wear glasses, he seemed to have trouble seeing, and his movements were clumsy.Shi Ye was too lazy to move, so he didn't help, watching Sheng Xia gradually open the skylight, revealing a small piece of sky and the stars in the sky.

The wind comes in.

The weather is good and there are many stars.But Shi Ye hated looking at the stars, he hated it very much.

He took another sip of his drink, then lay down again and closed his eyes.

Midsummer also lay down.His excitement after drinking has passed, and now he is getting more and more sleepy and tired. In addition to having a fever and taking medicine, the stamina of the alcohol began to rush up, and now he just feels a little dazed.

"Teacher Shi Ye, I was still in junior high school when I heard your first song." Sheng Xia's voice was vague, "I don't have a good memory, but I remember it very clearly... It was Monday morning after the second class, during the break Rest, the school radio played your song, "Universe". When I heard it, I just hid in the equipment room and smoked... At that time, I just learned to smoke, and I was not proficient, and I would feel dizzy when I smoked. On that day, When I listened to your song, I couldn't stand up, as if I was possessed. Later, I even forgot to go back to the classroom, and stayed there for two classes, and I couldn't hear the bell."

Shi Ye opened his eyes.

"You do," he heard himself say, "you like the universe."

He stared at the starry sky, speaking in a declarative tone.

Together with him, Sheng Xia looked at the stars in that small window.

He couldn't see clearly, but the stars seemed to have faint light in his eyes.So fine, you can see the outline if you squint your eyes.

"I like it, I think the universe sounds like Teacher Shi Ye." Sheng Xia's voice began to sound hazy, "I like the universe because it has no feelings, is cold, operates according to its own orbit, and is so vast that it can accommodate everything , orderly and disorderly... Broad, vast, far-reaching, ruthless and lonely. It sounds cold, it seems that they are all cold colors, without temperature."

Shi Ye answered quickly: "When the universe has a temperature, it is probably the Big Bang."

"Ah..." Sheng Xia said drunkenly, "If it explodes, we will die."

Shi Ye took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"Yes, dead."

"The stars also explode." Sheng Xia answered the words in a serious manner, "Each one explodes and one star is missing. The moment of explosion, the moment of disappearing... is also the most brilliant time."

Shi Ye stared at the small patch of stars, and curled the corner of his mouth in self-deprecating manner.

"Do you know why the band is called The Aviators?"

Sheng Xia shook her head on the mat, there was a rustling sound between her movements.

He was about to fall asleep, so sleepy.

"I have a...a good friend, a very good friend, who inspired me to do bands and music."

At night, Shi Ye seemed a little tired, his voice was hoarse, and he sounded a little old.

"His father studies astronomy. When he was a child, he always took him to watch the stars and the moon, talk about constellations, and tell stories about the universe."

"His father treated him very well. At that time, my friend's dream was to be an astronaut, or to be an astronomer like his father. Either fly in the sky, or study the stars and the universe on the ground."

Midsummer is getting more and more sleepy.He tried his best to listen to Shi Ye's words, but his consciousness was as heavy as lead, and it kept pulling him down. He was hot and sleepy, and Shi Ye's words could not be heard clearly at all.

"Later his father and his mother divorced. His father went abroad and called him three times in more than ten years. His mother didn't care about him anymore. She probably thought that seeing him would remind her of that unfortunate period. Feelings." Shi Ye's voice was quiet, but the more he spoke, the faster he said, "Later he became very strange, lived a miserable life, and didn't let people get close to him, and he didn't get close to others."

"But later he formed a band, which was still related to his father, and it was actually called Pilot." Shi Ye seemed to sigh, "And he never told anyone. He thought he didn't care, he was very strong and capable. But when life started to get worse, he realized that the world might abandon you in an instant, no one would want you, and anyone could have nothing in an instant.”

The room was quiet.

For some reason, Shi Ye remembered all kinds of people he met during the journeys he had traveled in the past.He was drunk, tomorrow, the future, applause, honor, love and hate, he told an underage child lightly in a midsummer night.It's like that sentence says: quarrel with the one you love, and speak your mind to strangers.

No, he has no love.

Invisible, unknowable, unmeasurable.

"Are you listening?"

He asked softly, and when he turned his head to look, he found that Sheng Xia had already closed his eyes, his cheeks were flushed, and he seemed to have fallen asleep for a long time.

Shi Ye stared at that face for a long time.

He heard the beating and throbbing of his own heart, the cry of something, the longing of something.

The moonlight shone on them, and at this moment he felt more scorching than the sun.

I'm drunk, Shi Ye said to himself in the sound of his heartbeat.

Then he quickly leaned over and gently kissed Midsummer who was drunk in the night.

——That feeling is like coming.

You seem to be acquainted with this world for the first time, and you seem to be leaving soon.It's the first thing you see when you open your eyes and see the brightest place, and you land from there.All the good things around are calling you and embracing you... It turns out that love and desire are like this, that's how it is.Why are you crying, why are you laughing, there is an answer to all this.

After being hit by this dizzying force suddenly, Shi Ye suddenly understood that he saw this coming.