Pilot

They took the bus to Xiaguan City.

Shi Ye hadn't taken a bus for a long time.Before being brought into the car by Sheng Xia, he was still a little blindly confident. Anyway, it's been so long, so he shouldn't be disgusted anymore, it's been so many years.

But he still overestimated himself.As the car staggered forward, Shi Ye felt more and more sick and dizzy, cold sweat broke out on his forehead and back, and his consciousness seemed to be brought back to him when he was seventeen or eighteen years old. that year.

He had just dropped out of school that year, his mother remarried and gave birth to a younger sister, and his father went to a research institute in Austria. No one cared about him, even when he dropped out of school, his mother was busy breastfeeding his younger sister and building a new family.And his dad, his dad's phone will never get through.

That was the time when Shi Ye was most rebellious.Once he didn’t go home for a whole month, so he slept in the bar opened by Xie Hong in Beijing at that time.

Her mother came here before going abroad with the family, and gave Shi Ye 2 yuan, telling him to either go to a cram school, retake the college entrance examination, or go out to work, so he can't just waste it like this.

Shi Ye didn't ask for the 2 yuan, but only left a key to the old house at home, and said, let's go, don't worry about me.

After his mother left, Shi Ye stared at the key in the bar for a long time in a daze before going out the door in a daze.

He didn't know where he was going, and finally got on a bus by accident.He stood at first, was pushed around, and then sat down, but there were fewer and fewer people in the car.

In fact, Shi Ye didn't know why he got on a bus, but he sat all the way in such a daze.

Shi Ye remembered that when he was a child, his mother carried him to squeeze the bus, buy vegetables and go shopping in the market.During the time waiting in the car, Shi Ye would keep asking: "Mom, can you buy me canned food today?"

At that time, the bus was also rickety, but the wobble was expected.

When Shi Ye was a child, he ate canned fruit when he was happy, but when he grew up, he only wanted to eat canned fruit when he was sad.

When his mother left, she said to him: "No matter what, mother loves you."

Shi Ye's family seldom talked about this kind of love coming and going, and it was even more ironic to say love in that situation.Although her mother's face was gentle in Shi Ye's eyes, she said love to say goodbye.

After getting off at the terminal that day, Shi Ye called Gao Ce and said, "Brother Ce, I want to record a record."

Not long after, he wrote the famous song of the pilot, "Cosmos".

"Teacher Shi Ye—"

He came back to his senses and saw Sheng Xia hesitantly pulled off his sleeve, "Teacher Shi Ye, are you feeling well?"

After Shengxia gradually became clear in his sight and saw the anxious expression on the other party's face, Shi Ye actually felt like he was alive after a catastrophe.

Shi Ye felt a little dizzy and a little nauseous.

"No, I just..."

He paused for a rare moment, a little at a loss for words, and didn't know what to say.

Sheng Xia thought for a while, "Is Teacher Shi Ye motion sick? In fact, I also got motion sickness when I was in junior high school. I would get sick in any car, even in the elevator... But there was nothing I could do at that time, and my family didn't have time to send me to school. I just I can take the bus by myself, get sick several times a day, and get used to it slowly.”

Just get used to it.

"Yes, just get used to it." Shi Ye repeated his words, "It's just that I haven't taken the bus for a long time, I'm not used to it, it's nothing."

After listening to it, Sheng Xia thought for a while, took out a bag of Huamei from her bag, and handed it to Shi Ye: "My mother gave it to me in the morning, Teacher Shi Ye, eat some? It should make me feel better."

Shi Ye wanted to refuse at first, but he looked at Sheng Xia's hands more.When he realized that he had already picked up the thing, he simply took it apart and ate one.

Because they were talking just now, they were very close, and they were still leaning on each other's shoulders.

Sheng Xia has a smell on her body.

It was also the smell of the attic where Shi Ye lived, and Shi Ye could smell it every time he got closer to Midsummer.It's not easy to describe. Shi Ye always felt that the taste changed. It became moist at night and dry in the scorching sun... Shi Ye thought of many descriptions for the taste. After the comparison, Shi Ye found that he was actually using sunlight He can't describe the smell with things like water and water that have no smell at all, because he can't think of anything else.

The smell was vague and there was no way to catch it, but it smelled clean and made him relax involuntarily.

Shi Ye held his breath slightly, and stepped back a little.A little too close, he thought.

Sheng Xia was a nervous person, she didn't notice that she was leaning on others all the time.He even moved a little closer, pointed out the window and said, "Teacher Shi Ye, look, this bridge... my family used to live near here, and I had to pass by here when I was in a bad mood. Listening to songs. When I was in junior high school, I especially liked Paganini. Once I was walking on a bridge, and I was so absorbed in listening to it that my soul went out of my body and I was almost hit by a car."

Shi Ye stepped back slightly, thinking to himself, being absent-minded about life is really not a good thing.

But he didn't judge anything, he just took out his earphones and asked Sheng Xia, "Are you listening to music?"

Sheng Xia was stunned for a moment before saying, okay.

The earphones that Shi Ye used with him were very cheap, only a few tens of dollars, just a fraction of the price of midsummer earphones.But Sheng Xia took the earphone over carefully, and stuffed the music inside into his left ear.

Oasis' early song, "Take Me".

Sheng Xia whispered to herself: "This one."

Take me when you feel I'vegone

(When you feel your soul is gone take me away)

TakemeifyoutthinkI'msweet

(If you think I'm sweet take me away)

Though my life feels incomplete

(Even though my life sucks)

Take me when I wish to live

(When I still have desire for life, take me away)

There are many strangers on the bus.There is an old man carrying a child, and the clothes seem to belong to the local ethnic minorities. Shi Ye has never seen the way of carrying a child. He wraps the child's body with a piece of cloth embroidered with flowers, and then uses a long narrow cloth to cover the buttocks. tied in front of the body.

There were several large mineral water bottles by someone's feet. He had explained to him before Midsummer that many people would go to the ancient city to fetch mountain spring water and drink it back.

There are also a few young couples, with their arms mixed together, stickily biting each other's ears.

These people who have never met are constantly getting on and off the bus, passing by, staying, and leaving.When the car drives forward, this road is straight. It also walks for a while, stops for a while, has a beginning and an end.

Shi Ye turned his head slightly to look at the people around him.

He thought that Sheng Xia was probably listening to the song in a daze, but when he looked over, he realized that Sheng Xia was looking at him.

He bumped into those eyes.Straightforward, sincere, clean, bright.

That gaze is quiet, as quiet as the current air, but when you get closer, you will find that the inside is actually hot, boiling and shaking, as if it is about to overflow and drown nothing.

The song is still playing.

Takeme when I starttocry

(When I start crying take me away)

Takeme, takeme, don't ask why

(Don't ask why take me away)

Those eyes are so beautiful, if you take a closer look, you will feel that the beauty of the whole city seems to be drowned in them.How wonderful this moment is, there is music in the ear, sunshine outside the window, the past in the head, and a clean heart that belongs to summer, young and clean.

Shi Ye heard himself say, "I kind of envy you."

Shi Ye's voice was not loud, but Sheng Xia could hear it clearly, he forgot what was singing in the earphones.

"is it?"

"Well, envy your life."

In order to ensure that the earphones would not fall off, Sheng Xia kept moving closer to Shi Ye's side, because half of his body was stiff and very nervous, and then he could feel that half of his body was numb, and his heart was still beating fast. He pounded his chest loudly.Could it be that it hit the ribs, otherwise why would it feel so painful and so strange.

"I envy you too, Teacher Shi Ye." Sheng Xia said slowly, "It's strange, I've never thought about it so much before, I just feel that life is the same, nothing special. But after seeing you, I feel that I am There are so many desires for life, and so many things to want."

Shi Ye was startled.

He smiled: "People always seem to be dissatisfied with their own lives, and always envy others."

The bus stopped for a while, a couple got off, and an old lady on crutches got on.

Midsummer didn't dare to see Shi Ye anymore.He just stared at the old lady getting into the car slowly, swiping her senior card, and with a beep, the old lady sat down tremblingly again.

Time seemed to have stopped, and many light-years had passed quickly.For a moment, Sheng Xia seemed to suddenly understand something.That feeling is both real and illusory, flickering and flickering, worrying about gains and losses, everything, all imagination about dreams.

He took off the earphones, looked at Shi Ye and said, "Teacher Shi Ye, I have liked you since I was 13 years old. You may not be able to understand...but you are my dream, and you have also enlightened what I love. I really love you." I am very envious, I envy you very much. If you are not happy in the future, just think about this world, there is someone who envies you far away in this world, and you may feel better."

Shi Ye thought to himself, isn't it.

You are my dream.

This sentence sounds light and fluffy.How ordinary a sentence sounds, there is no need for consequences or reasons, it can be so simple to connect with people, but you don't know that your dreams are about to rot.They didn't know anything, they were still innocent, they loved the self from that year, the self that even Shi Ye felt strange.

The car restarted.

Shi Ye avoided that gaze, he didn't answer, he didn't know why Sheng Xia could see that he seemed sad.

It shouldn't.

It may also be that no one has cared about his sadness for a long time.

Still singing in the earphones:

"Take me when I'm young and true"

(Take me away when I'm young and sincere.)

Shi Ye tightened his fingers slightly and closed his eyes.

At that moment, he wanted to eat canned fruit very much, like never before.