i see your calling

Even Yan couldn't study hard at school. The teacher was giving lectures, and Pang Nian was chatting with him. I feel that their happiness has nothing to do with me, it is gray and white happiness.

After class in the evening, Lian Yan rushed to the hospital again.

The situation still hasn't improved, and everything seems to be going downhill, but Lian Yan firmly believes in Shen Pingge's "nothing" and puts her heart on the "nothing" rusty pallet precariously.

Shen Pingge finished signing the critical illness notice, didn't eat, just sat there without saying anything, Shen Yiming's car accident hadn't been revealed to the outside world, but many people had come to see it, Shen Pingge sat there alone, Drenched in the silver-white light, it seemed as if it was about to melt into it. When I saw Lian Yan, I smiled rarely, and stretched out my hand to him, and they sat together as if there was no one else around.

"Did you listen to the class well?" Shen Pingge asked him, his voice hoarse.

Lian Yan nodded and pinched his fingers, it was very cold, so she pressed the back of his hand to her cheek to keep warm, and looked straight at him with a pair of dark eyes.It doesn't matter if you are dumb, speech can fade, as long as you can see with your eyes, Shen Pingge's eyes moved, and he whispered to him: "I'm so tired."

Lian Yan grabbed his hand with lowered eyes, then put her arms around his neck, let Shen Pingge lean on her, and listened to him.

"I found out at three o'clock last night. I came by plane. I didn't fall asleep on the plane. I was very sleepy, but I can't sleep now. I don't know what happened." Shen Pingge's voice was not loud, and he could hear it very closely Clearly, with deep weariness, "How can he not wear a seat belt?"

Lian Yan turned her head to see the tips of his ears, then looked at the ICU ward, Shen Pingge just hugged him, as if he was the only support in the vast void.

"Call me if you have anything to do." Shen Pingge closed his eyes, his voice was almost inaudible, "Let me hug you and sleep for a while..."

He was really tired, and soon fell asleep, his breathing was long, and his thick eyelashes cast shadows. Lian Yan carefully let him lie down, with his head resting on his legs, and when he raised his eyes, he met Xiao Li's dumbfounded expression. Peep was noticed, and smiled awkwardly: "The two brothers have a good relationship."

Lian Yan put his index finger in front of his lips, and Xiao Li kept silent. He lowered his eyes, ran his fingers through his hair, and slowly stroked Shen Pingge's hair. He just wanted Shen Pingge to have a good sleep, and he didn't think about anything else. up.

Signed the critical illness notice, it should be very serious.Lian Yan thought of that chicken soup saying, explaining that tomorrow or accident, I don't know which will come first.It appears that chicken broth is also correct.Lian Yan absently touched Shen Pingge's eyelashes and lips, and suddenly thought - what if Shen Yiming died?

Lian Yan was frightened by that possibility, and panickedly wanted to get rid of that thought, leaning back in the chair blankly, her mind was in a mess.He began to think of how kind Shen Yiming was to him. Shen Yiming rescued him from the dirty home, gave him steak, and took him to cut his hair.But he still didn't listen to Shen Yiming's words, Shen Yiming even begged him!Begging him to separate from Shen Pingge, many thoughts came to his mind, crazy and sad.

She even thought that if Shen Yiming was fine and let him separate from Shen Pingge, then he would agree... Lian Yan just thought about it, and then began to feel uncomfortable again, and even couldn't breathe.

Shen Pingge didn't sleep for too long, after waking up, Lian Yan stubbornly dragged him to eat again, Shen Pingge couldn't resist him, so he had to go along, it was a bit late, only one restaurant was still open, even Yan was extraordinarily willing to spend money on Shen Pingge. He added a chicken leg and a duck leg to a bowl of ban mian, but Shen Pingge stopped him when he wanted to add an egg.

"I can't eat any more," Shen Pingge felt helpless, "This is enough."

After they finished their meal, it was time to visit the ICU. They had to put on specific sterile clothes and wrap themselves tightly. The time was only 5 minutes, and Lian Yan stepped into the white prison for the first time. , unable to smell the smell inside, Shen Yiming was lying on the white bed, the instrument was beeping, eyes half-opened, Lian Yan saw the wound on his face, and wanted to cry inexplicably.

He said, "Pingle..."

Shen Pingge's voice came out through the mask, vague and unclear, he leaned down and said, "We are all with you, you should have a good rest."

Shen Yiming shook his head in a very slight arc, almost invisible, Lian Yan wanted to touch his hand, but dared not, for fear of hurting Shen Yiming.

"Next time... I will definitely stop drinking and wear my seat belt." Shen Yiming's voice was hoarse and ethereal, as if he was about to die in the next second, "It hurts me to death..."

"You take good care of your illness. I'll wait for you to come out. I told Xiao Li to let him watch you drink. Why do you still drink so much?" Shen Pingge said, and paused. Let you drink again."

"You have to survive."

This is the highest request for him, Shen Pingge just said, let him survive.

"There are 2 minutes left." The doctor reminded.

"The will is in the company's safe, and the password is the sum of your birthdays...the sum, and your initials." Shen Yiming closed his eyes again, and the mist on the breathing mask thickened, and said, "Remember to read..."

"I don't know how to read it. You give it to me yourself." Shen Pingge straightened up and looked into his eyes. "I won't recognize this will unless you give it to me with your own hands."

When the time came, Shen Pingge walked out, walking quickly, as if fleeing from something, before Lian Yan could speak to Shen Yiming, she just looked back at each other, and the silver-white door separated them again.After taking off the sterile suit and putting it aside, Lian Yan looked up and saw Shen Pingge's red eyes, and said, "Don't come here yet."

Lian Yan stopped in place, watched Shen Pingge walk into the stairwell, and closed the door.

It used to be the holy place where he hid, the holy place where he defected from alcohol and death, Shen Pingge also went in, what would he do?Lian Yan listened to him, but didn't go over, just stood with her back to the wall, looking sideways at the viewing screen, Shen Yiming closed his eyes inside, the wound spread from his chin, and the rest was covered by the quilt, but his expression seemed to be sleep.

It's not that bad.Lian Yan felt that her life was already a mess, and she said that things must be reversed after extremes. That has happened so many times, and it was time to usher in daylight. He forced himself to maintain an optimistic attitude to prevent himself from collapsing.

Shen Pingge was much more tired than him. Lian Yan was in school, and he was doing homework with a laptop in the corridor outside the hospital, making calls, answering calls, and discussing homework with people in the same group. Lian Yan was outside Sitting on the silver chair made her butt hurt, and she even helped to massage Shen Pingge's temples. Shen Pingge smiled at him, and Lian Yan was sure it was a real smile.

It's just that eating habits are really unhealthy. Shen Pingge often forgets to eat. On the fourth day, he even forgot breakfast and lunch. If it wasn't for the sound of his stomach, Lian Yan might have believed his lie of "eating well" and made him Go to dinner and promise him to watch here and nothing will happen.

"Then I'll go to eat and I'll be back in half an hour." Shen Pingge stood up and rubbed his hair, "You do your homework well."

Lian Yan nodded obediently and watched him leave.

Almost 2 minutes after he left, Lian Yan heard the siren from the ICU. He looked over blankly and saw a bunch of doctors running in. The siren was so loud that he could hardly hear other sounds.

If—he thought again if, if he knew that something like this would happen 2 minutes after Shen Pingge left, he would not let Shen Pingge leave, and he would not just sit on the chair, confused and helpless Watching them push Shen Yiming into the emergency room again, the red light turned on, and there were still the three cold words, "rescue", each word seemed to be bleeding downwards.

When the last doctor came in, he said, "Heavy bleeding in the lungs and abdomen, please be prepared."

What's the meaning?Before Lian Yan could understand, the door was closed, his hands and feet were stiff, and he was anxious to think of Shen Pingge calling, but the phone rang on the chair behind him, Shen Pingge forgot to bring the phone and put it beside him, the phone rang It's actually the same as Lian Yan's, it's Leslie Cheung's "Red".

"The heat never fades

You are the most beautiful wound perhaps

Red like the arrogance of the blooming youth

Red is like a commemoration of the setting sun fading away

It's the smiling face of you flying with me

Like the line of life between you and my palm

It's as bright as the world of mortals."

"I'm going to find Pinger," Xiao Li said quickly, "you wait here, we'll be back soon."

Why leave him here alone and leave him here to face Hong, Lian Yan nodded in confusion, the whole person was terrified to death.He is a cotton ball soaked in petrol, whether or not the flame falls on his head is entirely up to Shen Yiming to decide.

The operation didn't last too long, it was over in about ten minutes. Lian Yan watched them come out and didn't push Shen Yiming out. She opened her mouth and saw the doctor take off the mask and shook her head.

There was a "boom" in her head, and Lian Yan felt weak all over.

"We tried our best, but we still couldn't save him," the doctor saw that Lian Yan was in tears, her eyes were so red, and she was shaking all over, she couldn't bear to continue, "Go in and talk to him."

How can this kind of plot that should be in TV dramas be staged in reality?The doctor said it was impossible, and the relatives wailed loudly, but the person lying on the bed didn't have a single tear, saying his last words, and the drama was tragic.Besides, he is the only one, what is he doing here?Lian Yan walked over slowly, the operating table was covered with blood, densely packed with blood, he saw Shen Yiming's eyes, the pupils had already started to dilate.

Lian Yan's tears fell on his face, Shen Yiming's voice was weak: "Pingge..."

He grabbed Shen Yiming's extended hand, choked up and couldn't speak a single syllable, Shen Yiming recognized him, and smiled: "Xiaoyan...Pingge, don't you want to come see me..."

Lian Yan shook her head desperately, looked out the door with tears in her eyes, hoping that Shen Pingge would come back soon, complained why Xiao Li hadn't found Shen Pingge yet, and listened to Shen Yiming.

"I want to see Pinger again..."

Immediately!Immediately!Shen Pingge will be back soon!Lian Yan yelled "ahhh", and looked at the door again, but she still didn't come!He wanted to write in the palm of Shen Yiming's hand, but he was trembling and couldn't even write a single word!

"Help me tell Pinger that I've been the one who's not good...I'm not a good father," he patted Lian Yan's hand slowly, "I'm not a good uncle either...don't cry... "

Lian Yan couldn't stop crying, her heart was throbbing, he really wanted to hide, he didn't want to face all this, but he still had to listen, listening to Shen Yiming say: "You... all take care of yourselves..." His voice gradually died down It's like I've run out of energy.

Shen Yiming's face was the same as before, except that the fundus of the eyes was black and blue, the eyes were cloudy, and the emotions he could express were clear. Lian Yan suddenly remembered that the first time they met was also in winter. Shen Yiming stretched out his hand to him and said: "Uncle invites you to eat noodles, do you want to go?"

The flame was finally willing to ignite the cotton ball soaked in gasoline, and when it burned, the flames were fierce. After Shen Yiming finished speaking, he seemed to want to say something more, but in the end he only said "you", his dry lips moved, But he closed his eyes, and his hand fell from his palm, and he put it aside.

At the same time, hurried footsteps came from outside. Lian Yan knew that Shen Pingge had come back, but he lost his strength and fell to his knees on the ground with a ringing sound in his head. Breathing violently, before the coma, everything was far away from them, the smell of alcohol, the smell of blood, the bed where Shen Yiming was sleeping, Didi's equipment.

·

In a winter, a winter before it snowed, on November [-]th, an ordinary man stopped breathing.

Before death, there were no relatives around him, only a high school student who was neither relative nor relative, weeping left him, and he stayed away from death forever.

The author says:

uh, go.