middle of the road

Fu Jin was having dinner with a few young teachers in their school, and halfway through he received a call from Jiang Mingyang, telling him to come over to Chi Yu's house if he could leave.

Fu Jin heard something unusual in his voice, "What's wrong? What happened?"

"Chi Yu's stomach is bleeding." Jiang Mingyang said, "He still seems to have a fever, and I have at most half an hour to go downstairs to his house."

"Are you with him?" Fu Jin asked: "Then why go to his house? Is it serious? If it's serious, go directly to the hospital."

"He refuses to go to the hospital." Jiang Mingyang felt a little helpless, "I'm feeling a little dizzy now, so come over and help me when you're free."

As soon as Fu Jin heard that Chi Yu's stomach was bleeding again, he naturally wondered if it was because of drinking last time, or because Cheng Yang's side was too bad recently, and he often went around to get drunk like that day?

In fact, if that is the case, he is not willing to take this hand at all. A person who doesn't even have this self-control, who can't listen to persuasion no matter how many times he says it, and only knows to escape reality by drinking, unless he spares his life, others That is to say, if the mouth is broken, it will always treat the symptoms but not the root cause.

But when I thought about the relationship between friends for so many years, besides him and Jiang Mingyang, who else around him would really care about him now. Mom didn't say anything, and I haven't contacted his dad since the college entrance examination. Haidong tries every means to get in touch with him, but Chi Yu refuses them all.

Thinking of it this way, I felt a little pitiful. Being lonely, Fu Jin hung up the phone, hesitated again and again, and went to say hello to his colleagues.

When a few drunken people heard his reason for leaving early, they booed and asked him who was his friend, and he had to go back to take care of him at such a late hour?

After a while, they will go to sing after eating, let Fu Jin "take care" and come back quickly. It's so boring without a handsome guy like him.

Fu Jin said, let's see when the time comes, [-]% will not be able to come back, if the problem is not serious, let alone Jiang Mingyang let him go, even Jiang Mingyang himself will not be called over, it sounds like he just brought someone back from the outside, I don't know where the wine table is from?

Just as Fu Jin left the hotel, Jiang Mingyang called him and told him not to drive after drinking.

"I know, I know, I'm about to take a taxi." Fu Jin had just had a drink inside, his face would be a little hot from the wind, and Jiang Mingyang made a special call to remind him that this call was actually quite deliberate.

Now that the drunk driving inspection is so strict, who doesn't have this awareness, he insisted on reminding him like this, the ambiguity between caring and restraint made Fu Jin feel that he was inexplicably useful and vaguely irritable.

"I'll be there in about half an hour." He added something else and said, "If you're quick, there's a cabinet opposite the door when you enter his house, and there's medicine in the second drawer on the left. Take it first." Give it to him, he knows how much to eat, if not, let’s contact the doctor when I arrive.”

"En." Jiang Mingyang hung up the phone, Fu Jin looked at the phone for a while, sighed, and got into a waiting taxi in front of the hotel.

To say that Chi Yu would have stomach bleeding, he was not surprised at all, and he didn't even think it was an exaggeration, no matter how serious it was, Chi Yu drank a lot for a while, which could be called an alcoholism.

That was probably the fourth year after he and Cheng Yang separated. Fu Jin still hasn't figured out why all the negative emotions piled up and exploded during such a period of time when he and Cheng Yang were separated.

Shouldn't the most difficult time be when Cheng Yang just left?Although it was true that Chi Yu had a very bad time during that time.

But as time goes on, and the intense pain dilutes into such a long time, it's like paint sinking into water, and the color of the drawing fades, and it should gradually fade away. You can struggle for a year or two, and then you know there is no hope. Still have to persist, how many people can really do it.

But no one thought that the fourth year, which was thought to be a calm and unspoiled year, turned out to be another climax of his emotional outburst.

During that time, Chi Yu hardly went out, locked himself in an apartment near the school he was renting all day long, and refused to answer his calls. Something happened, so I bought a plane ticket and flew here.

Looking for his former dormitory classmate to find the address, he knocked for a long time and no one answered, and called the property management to come over and smash the door open. The moment he entered, Fu Jin's legs were so frightened that he went limp.

The whole house reeked of alcohol as if it had been fermented. There were empty wine bottles lying on the floor, and the Chiyu man was lying in the narrow gap in front of the sofa and coffee table, his clothes disheveled and his body covered. blood and vomit.

Fortunately, the air conditioner was always on at that time, otherwise the temperature would have been so bad for hundreds of years.

He didn't wake up from the loud noise of the door being smashed. Fu Jin almost thought he was dead, so he rushed over. After touching his hot body, he realized that he had passed out due to a fever. He picked it up and sent him to the hospital.

He doesn't even want to recall the mental journey of that half hour at that time.

After the examination in the hospital, the doctor said that it was acute gastric mucosal erosion caused by alcohol, which is commonly referred to as acute gastric bleeding, and this symptom did not last for a day or two. After the gastroscopy, the ulcer was found to be very large. It should be during this time Long-term irregular work, rest and diet, as well as extreme mental stress and anxiety, accompanied by a lot of drinking, the situation is a bit serious and has caused blood vessel rupture.

In the end, it was completely cured after a blood transfusion and staying in the hospital for more than half a month.

On the day he was discharged from the hospital, the doctor repeatedly told him to maintain a regular schedule and strictly control alcohol and other irritating foods. He also gently reminded young people that if they feel too much pressure, they can see a psychiatrist for relief. Feelings of excessive anxiety.

At that time, Chi Yu had already applied for a school abroad, and he was going to go abroad after the semester was over and got his graduation certificate. Fu Jin guessed that he might be leaving here for two years suddenly, and Cheng Yang hadn't heard from him, so he thought about it. I couldn't resist, which led to some depression.

He persuaded him for a while at that time, and it’s not like he won’t come back after leaving. Now that communication is so developed, you can still inquire about domestic news when you are abroad. Besides, some of the tracing agencies he entrusted signed long-term contracts, which made no sense. Leave it alone when others are not there.

Taking a step back, you have been in the country for so many years, and you have not found any clues. There is no difference between two years or two years, and the hope is just as slim. Staying here and not leaving is nothing more than a psychological comfort.

In the vast sea of ​​people, it is not so easy to find someone.

Graduation is approaching, and all the courses that should be finished are over. Fu Jin took care of him in the hospital for half a month. After he was discharged from the hospital, he asked Chi Yu to follow him to City S. He rented a house outside and lived with him for a while. It was from that time that the relationship between the two people was completely warmed up.

Fu Jin really couldn't stand it any longer. Apart from not drinking anymore, Chi Yu hardly went out during that time, staying in the room every day, or sitting by the window, staring at the outside in a daze, sometimes sitting for a few minutes Even the posture does not change for hours.

Either he lowered his head to play the Rubik's Cube, and broke it up after he put it together, and then broke it up again, the Rubik's Cube was faded by his playing, and he refused to change it.

Fu Jin almost wondered if he was stupid when he vomited blood. He said to see a psychiatrist, but he kept procrastinating. In a dream, he would suddenly hear him calling Cheng Yang's name.

Maybe it’s because I really missed him, anyway, even Fu Jin had a bad time during that time, so please scold him, after scolding for so many years, there are no new words, if you scold too many people, you still cry, and after crying, he has to comfort you, In the end, he didn't have the energy to argue with him anymore.

Comfort him, no one has touched him so deeply over the years, no matter how well the chicken soup is stewed, people will feel sick if they drink too much, and I don’t know what else to stew, so keep looking?Fu Jin himself felt that there was not much hope, so he gave up if he didn't look for it?Chi Yu would definitely not agree.

Anyway, it's an endless loop.

Later, they waited until school was about to start abroad, they went there together, settled down separately, and the accumulated schoolwork was tense and busy, and people were overwhelmed, so Chi Yu slowed down a little bit, as if things were going against each other. Slowly, I also have friends around me.

Fu Jin went to visit him a few times, and found that there were quite a few girls around him who liked him. Since Chi Yu was still straight in nature, he advised him to let go of things that couldn't pass, didn't they all say to forget the old love? The best way is to try to start a new relationship.

People always want to move forward, blindly dwelling on the past, as far as his current situation is concerned, it has no meaning except to prolong the pain.

But in those few years, Chi Yu never had a relationship, and even in these matters, many times, those who refused did not give any kindness at all. It seemed that he never thought of leaving any escape for himself.

After two years, he returned to China. He first worked in a big company, and then he started his own business. He has worked hard with Jiang Mingyang until now.

After finding Cheng Yang, Fu Jin would not be surprised at the current result. Apart from comforting him with hope, he actually didn't know whether it was the torment of longing that he couldn't find, or Cheng Yang's alienation and despair. Unforgiveness can destroy a person's mind even more.

Fu Jin couldn't help sighing what kind of unrequited fate it was.

Looking back, thinking about meeting Jiang Mingyang later, I found that this sentence was equally suitable for me, and I immediately felt like crossing the river.

His current situation may indeed not be as miserable as Chi Yu's, but he has a clear understanding of how tortured those secret thoughts are.

After Fu Jin arrived, Jiang Mingyang came to open the door for him. It seemed that they had just come back. Chi Yu was lying on the bed with no time to take off his clothes. Jiang Mingyang said that he was going to cook a bowl of porridge. It seemed that Chi Yu hadn't eaten for a long time. At hand, the water had just boiled, so Fu Jinxian was asked to take care of it.

Fu Jin found a set of pajamas for him to change into, and wrung out a hot towel to wipe his face and hands. Let's just make do with the rest.

Chi Yu probably suffered from severe stomach pains, she was curled up all the time, her brows were furrowed tightly, and half of her face was buried in the pillow.

Although his appearance looked weak, especially his pale face like a ghost, it was still much better than that time five years ago. If he really refused to go to the hospital, he should be able to pass by taking medicine and resting for two days.

After finishing all this, Fu Jin sat down opposite him, and divided the medicines according to the instructions. The water temperature is about the same, and you should be able to take it after a while.

During the few minutes of waiting, the two of them didn't speak, Fu Jin didn't ask him where he came back after drinking this virtue, and Chi Yu didn't have the energy to explain to him.

After a while, I heard Fu Jin's almost inaudible sigh, "If it's really not possible, you should give up and find someone to marry and live in. Otherwise, look around, there is no one to take care of you."

Chi Yu turned her back to him, a habit developed in the past few years, usually as long as Fu Jin said something he didn't want to hear, he would refuse in this posture.

He coughed twice and shook his head.

Cheng Yang had already forgotten him, how dare he let himself forget him now.

"Then how long are you going to do this?" Fu Jin asked, "What if he never forgives you, will you keep waiting?"

Fu Jin knew that his persuasion was in vain. It was useless before, but now that he has found someone, it is even more impossible. Moreover, he has no doubt that even if there are mountains of swords and seas of fire in front of him, as long as Cheng Yang is on the other side, Chi Yu will be able to die. Go on without going back.

Although it is said that people know the temperature and temperature of drinking water, but everything must have a head, should the two of them be allowed to waste like this?

Chi Yu remained silent and did not answer him again. Because of the fever caused by the inflammation, the sound of breathing fluctuated from light to heavy, and the listeners felt a little uncomfortable.

After a long time, Fu Jin thought he was asleep, and the blanket on his body pulled him up, and just as he put down his hand, he heard Chi Yu's soft "um".

Yes, he will continue to wait like this for a long, long time.