middle of the road

For dinner, Cheng Yang took Cheng Ying and Cheng Le to the restaurant downstairs. They ordered a bowl of big wontons to share between them, and they ordered a bowl of plain noodles for themselves.

From sitting down until finishing eating, no one spoke, the atmosphere was a bit depressed, I could tell what Cheng Le wanted to say, poking his chopsticks at his face, looking at him from time to time, but he hesitated to say anything, Cheng Le Afraid that they might be thinking wildly, Yang said a few words of comfort.

Cheng Yunsheng and Zhang Cuiping didn't leave until tomorrow morning. After eating, Cheng Yang didn't want to bother Aunt Qiu anymore, and now that he had a room, he took them to bed. He and Cheng Yunsheng were testing each other's bottom line now, so I didn't worry that he would follow him. What did Cheng Ying and Cheng Le say.

After they all fell asleep at night, Cheng Yunsheng took an IOU and signed it for him, but the amount was not [-], but [-], and the time was not after he worked, but from the day he became an adult.

Thinking about it, there is still a bit of humanity in it, and I didn't ask him to give it now.

Cheng Yang asked if he could move out of here after the college entrance examination. Cheng Yunsheng told him not to push forward. It was supposed to be next week, which was enough to give him some leeway. at the end of the month.

Cheng Yang didn't say anything. He didn't expect Cheng Yunsheng to agree. He found a pen and wrote his name on the IOU.

The matter was settled in this way, no one was implicated, Cheng Yunsheng and his goals were achieved.

Cheng Yang was a little glad that he didn't talk to Chi Yu at the beginning. Although he might not really borrow [-] yuan, any amount of money would be difficult for him to overcome. He couldn't owe him any more, but in this way, he didn't More effort to get closer to him.

Cheng Yang didn't sleep at night, standing alone on the balcony, smoking one cigarette after another, all the parts of his body that had collapsed during the day were tearing at this moment, like a chain reaction of cells exploding in rows, inch by inch It hurts like poking the meridian with a needle.

He felt very unreasonable.

He has been leading Cheng Ying and Cheng Le since he was eleven or twelve years old. He has experienced all kinds of difficulties. He even survived Cheng Guangde paralyzed in bed for more than a year. But on such a matter that he has successfully solved, Feel powerless like never before.

It's like a person who is extremely sleep-deprived, and will fall to the ground if he lasts for another second.

What is the reason?Is it because he thinks everything too well, and because he hopes too much, it gives him a big gap in his heart?

For the first time in his life, he put aside the idea of ​​just being alive, and wanted to reach out for something he fancyed. Was he too much?

Yes, a voice from the bottom of my heart answered him so bluntly, what qualifications do you have to talk about hobbies for a person whose life is already difficult.

The door creaked, Cheng Yang turned around and saw Cheng Le standing at the door, he pinched his cigarette on the cement, "Why aren't you sleeping?"

"Can't sleep." Cheng Le whispered.

Cheng Yang smiled, "Did you imitate other people's insomnia at such a young age?"

Cheng Le didn't speak, and stood with his hand on the door frame. Cheng Yang beckoned him to pass.

Cheng Le walked up to him, hugged his waist, and buried his small face on his stomach. Ever since he became sensible, he had never been so coquettish with him. Cheng Yang patted his head and listened to Cheng Le Le was a little hesitant, but called him brother with a pleading tone.

Chi Yu didn't go to school for a whole week, and later that day he really had a fever, which kept coming back and forth for three or four days.

He asked for leave to stay at home. In order to take care of him, Chi Haidong took all the work home to do. Even if he was sick, he didn't let go of educating him. Instead, Chi Yu stopped barking at him and gave him I think it is a better opportunity for in-depth communication.

And no matter if it's stern voice or sincere words, it's nothing more than that, let him think clearly about what he's doing, don't treat feelings as a joke, this path is not the right one, he should think more about his own future and so on.

Chi Yu felt annoyed, being stared at and talking about it every day almost gave him the illusion that he had deep feelings for Cheng Yang, not to mention that he was also tired of it. When people get sick, they tend to become vulnerable, and then doubt life. Chi Haidong's fighting for so many years is actually quite meaningless, he has not gained anything from it, and even now, his anger has not been vented.

Hitting the cotton with his fist probably feels like this, no, the cotton still reverberates, and he can't reach anything, he's just competing with the air, like a lunatic who directs and plays by himself.

Later, he couldn't take it anymore, so he simply followed his previous speculation and said that there was nothing between him and Cheng Yang, and that he deliberately acted for him purely to annoy him.

Chi Yu doesn't care whether he believes it or not, he just has this attitude anyway, he can think whatever he likes, and he can't really let him sign and draw a pledge, but after that Chi Haidong really didn't mention this matter again.

In the past few days when he was sick, Chi Yu never went to school once. Cheng Yang didn't even make a phone call when such a living person was away. Thinking about it now, the only time he called him three times The purpose of making a phone call is to borrow money from him, which is quite ironic.

Fu Jin knew that he had seen him twice later, both after evening self-study, Chi Yu deliberately didn't ask him about Cheng Yang's affairs at school, and Fu Jin didn't say anything, he thought until now that the two of them were sitting close to each other So the relationship is good, and I didn't think about it at all.

From the very beginning, Chi Yu's stamp on him was straight, and Fu Jin never doubted this.

But it's really not easy to see what's going on. First, it hasn't been made public, and second, there is nothing too outrageous in school. Normal people don't think about it.

And Fu Jin, as the only one who is abnormal, has always been too busy to take care of himself, and he has to deliberately avoid suspicion. In addition, the mountains are high and the road is far away, so naturally he didn't notice anything, but very occasionally, Fu Jin would feel that there was something strange between the two of them. It seems that the relationship is good, but sometimes it feels alienated. He thinks it is a personality relationship. After all, Cheng Yang is like that, and Chi Yu is like that. It seems normal to be a little abnormal.

After the fever subsided completely, Chi Yu still had some coughing. Chi Yu rested at home for another day. It happened to be the weekend. Since Cheng Yang came to him last week to borrow money and failed to borrow money, and had a quarrel until now, it has been a whole week. There is no personal connection.

Looking back now, Chi Yu thinks that Cheng Yang's state at that time was a bit strange, maybe he should ask a few more questions, ask him what he wants to do, whether his sudden change of mind has anything to do with his attitude at that time, or is it really like what he said , he has enough on hand.

This reason is far-fetched no matter how you look at it, Cheng Yang is not a reckless person.

In the evening of that day, Chi Yu took 2 yuan from his card and put it in his bag. He went to buy a la carte and fruit, and added two bags of snacks for Cheng Ying and Cheng Le. Home.

When I got downstairs, I saw Cheng Ying drying clothes on the balcony on the second floor. Chi Yu got off the car and waved at her. Cheng Ying also waved at him from the balcony, but she didn't look very interested.

Chi Yu went upstairs with his things, and Cheng Ying came to watch the door for him, "Where's your brother?" Chi Yu went in and saw that Cheng Yang was not there.

"I went grocery shopping." Cheng Ying spoke with a nasal voice, Chi Yu looked carefully and found that the corners of her eyes were red, as if she had cried.

"What's wrong?" He asked, "Did your brother tell you?"

Cheng Ying shook her head and asked if he was having dinner here.

Chi Yu said it was food, and he brought the vegetables over. After a while, he came to cook, Cheng Ying nodded, and ran to wash the rice.

Chi Yu carried everything into the kitchen. He bought some pork ribs and a crucian carp. The pork ribs were braised in brown sauce. Cheng Ying and Cheng Le liked to eat them. He prepared crucian carp and tofu cubes for stewing soup, and Cheng Yang could cook half a pot by himself. , and a few vegetables, it is definitely enough for four people.

Chi Yu washed the fish in the pool. After washing for a while, he felt something was wrong. He straightened up, looked around, and asked, "Where's Cheng Le?"

Cheng Ying didn't speak, and Chi Yu thought she didn't hear, so she asked again, as if she hadn't seen the two of them separate since they met.

Cheng Ying, who was washing the rice with her head down, suddenly sobbed, her shoulders trembled, she could see that she was holding back, Chi Yu hurriedly wiped her hands, and turned around with her shoulders, he suddenly had a bad feeling, "Why? Is it? Is something wrong?"

Cheng Ying's tears fell down big and big, crying very sadly, but no matter what Chi Yu asked, she just refused to say, Chi Yu took out his mobile phone and wanted to call Cheng Yang, at this moment , There was the sound of a key opening the door, and he stood up.

Cheng Yang came in from the door with a bag of noodles in his hand. Seeing Chi Yu's surprised face and Cheng Ying's red eyes from crying, he didn't speak, turned his head slightly, and closed the door.

He locked the door with his back to them. He buckled the obviously simple chain buckle repeatedly for a long time. When he turned around, his expression became the same as usual, as if he had hidden his emotions for just a short moment.

"Where's Cheng Le?" Chi Yu asked, staring at him.

Cheng Yang came over and asked Cheng Ying to go out first. He closed the kitchen door, poured out the water in the rice, and said without looking at him, "Let's go."

Chi Yu couldn't help being taken aback, "...What do you mean? Where did you go?"

If Cheng Yang hadn't explained to him that leaving meant leaving the house, he would almost have thought that something had happened to Cheng Le.

Cheng Yang washed the rice, put it in the rice cooker, and said, "I have an uncle who has never had children since he got married. He has come to see me several times..."

Chi Yu immediately understood what he wanted to say, "You sent him away to be raised by others?!"

Cheng Yang looked at the front and could see that he was trying to endure something. Chi Yu thought he would cry and be like Cheng Ying, but after waiting for a while, he didn't respond at all, just softly "hmm" He said, "The parents over there are nice and the conditions are good. It's much better than following me through hardships and hardships. I have nothing to worry about."

Chi Yu suddenly thought of something, and grabbed the collar of his shirt, "What conditions did they promise you?"

Cheng Yang shook his hand slightly, he stopped and looked at him, "What do you think the conditions are?"

Behind Chi Yu's reaction is that he is regarded as a mercenary who can sell blood relatives at will. He should be angry, but he is not. In his eyes, he can even sell himself, can't he? In fact, Cheng Yang thinks he is not There should be such a big surprise.

Cheng Zong had promised him some conditions, and everything seemed very attractive, but he didn't want anything else except being nice to Cheng Le. The reason why he sent him away was not to exchange any benefits for himself, but because now Such a home, what is it worth for him to stay when there are better options.

"What happened to you that day?" Chi Yu looked straight into his eyes, and easily connected this incident with the anomaly that day, "Why didn't you borrow money from me when you were short of money, didn't I give it to you? What's the trouble, he's your real brother?!"

"I'm not short of money." Cheng Yang didn't avoid his gaze, "I'm just burdened too much. Someday you can really stand in my position and think about the problem, maybe you will understand me."

"No, I don't understand!" Chi Yu shook his head, he suddenly couldn't understand him, "You are short of money, and I can give you money, but you don't want it, you want to prove yourself in this way, what are you proving , to prove that you are independent and that you are capable?"

"You are moving forward, but if every step you take is in exchange for losing your weight, have you really won?"

"Then what are you doing like this?" Cheng Yang turned on him, "You got a better tire than me, so you have the right to blame me?"

"Did I blame you, I just wanted to help you!"

"How can you help me?" Cheng Yang sneered, "Fuck on the bed & I'll count as helping me?"

Chi Yu was speechless because of what he said, and it was true that he and Cheng Yang made a mistake, "What about that day, did I make a condition? Did I say I would fuck you? I have already handed over the card to you." I have it in my hand, what else do you want from me, kneel down and beg you to borrow it?!"

"I've said it before." Cheng Yang lowered his volume, not wanting to quarrel with him, "I won't ask you to borrow money again."

"What are the consequences of not borrowing money? If you send Cheng Le away, then if you encounter problems next time, who do you plan to send to, Cheng Ying?"

Cheng Yang's face turned pale all of a sudden, and it was only then that he showed a look of pain. He staggered back a step and leaned against the edge of the sink behind him.

He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, his eye sockets were a little red. He just looked at Chi Yu like this, and the despair in his eyes was so deep.

"Cheng Yang, what are you trying to do?" Chi Yu looked at his figure reflected in his pupils, "You are like this... I don't understand."

Cheng Yang took a deep breath, took two steps forward, and stood facing him, then slowly lowered his head and leaned on his shoulder.

"Chi Yu." His voice was choked with sobs, and he could hear depression, "I... I'm actually very sad, very sad, don't make me regret this decision." He said that he didn't exchange him for sending him away. What kind of benefits, in fact, he lied, why didn't he have any.

Chi Yu didn't understand what he meant, "In this case, I'll give you the money, and you go and bring him back."

Cheng Yang shook his head lightly, "It's too late."

That's the end of the topic.Chi Yu wanted to hug him and say something to comfort him, but at this moment his heart was not controlled by him, and he was a little bit resistant. He couldn't understand this person, he didn't understand why Cheng Yang was like this, and his intuition told him that he This time he chose to throw away Cheng Le to lighten the burden. He had his own purpose, but Chi Yu didn't know what the purpose was, but no matter what it was, he couldn't understand it.

He raised his hand, but the palm still didn't rest on his shoulder in the end, and he suddenly felt a little... afraid of him.