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Chapter 10 The Past

Cheng Xu had a dream.

In the dream, someone held his face and kissed his lips.

"Cheng Xu, you're so pretty." The man said infatuatedly.

Cheng Xu felt his face was burning hot, he couldn't see that person's face clearly, but he could clearly feel his love for him, he kissed back passionately, and the two kissed inseparably.

……

"Wow, that's him, he's gay."

"It's disgusting, how dare he come here?"

The moment the tenderness dissipated, sharp discussions pierced his eardrums.

Cheng Xu stood in the corridor with his head bowed, like a poor wretch abandoned by the whole world. Some vague-faced people, like beasts smelling of meat, crowded over one after another, surrounded him, and talked a lot.

Cheng Xu trembled a little. He raised his hand to cover his face, but his palm was wet. He didn't know when he started crying.

……

"He seduced me on purpose." A familiar voice said indifferently, "I'm not gay."

"You shameless idiot!" A slap was slapped on Cheng Xu's face, and the angry male voice yelled, "Go home! Don't come out again to embarrass yourself!"

The closed door, the small space, the hard anti-theft bar outside the window, and the sobbing of a woman outside the door.

Cheng Xu heard the woman say, "Then send him to Yuren Academy, this disease must be cured, otherwise Ah Xu's life will be ruined, woooo—"

Cheng Xu felt cold all over.

The door was suddenly opened, and he looked up, but he couldn't see the face of the person who came, only a fat body, which almost blocked the light from the door.

"Eat." The man put down a bowl full of rice on the ground.

boom.

The door closed again.

"I'll look for a way tomorrow, and I must send him in."

Cheng Xu heard the man swear.

He hugged his knees and sat on the ground, infinitely silent in the darkness.

……

After an unknown amount of time, the door was opened again. This time, a cardamom girl with long black hair and a domineering expression appeared at the door.

Cheng Xu looked at her quietly.

Xiao Xiao held a bunch of keys and a piece of light green paper in her hand, Cheng Xu could see clearly that it was his household registration page.

"You go." Xiao Xiao put the household registration page into his hand, "Hurry up, when my dad sobers up, you won't be able to leave."

……

Cheng Xu was carrying a schoolbag, which contained his clothes, identity certificates, and a small amount of change. He stood at the exit of the bustling Rongcheng Railway Station.

The cold wind whizzed past, and it was very cold in December in Rongcheng.

In the darkness, Cheng Xu opened his eyes.

On a hot summer night in July, the fan was rustling.

Cheng Xu picked up the water glass, went to the living room to get a glass of water, gulped down the glass, and finally suppressed the restlessness in his heart.

Compared to Xu Qiuhua, the person he didn't want to contact was of course Xiao Jiancheng.

Xiao Jiancheng is a person who lives in the opinions of others. He can only hear praise and reject any criticism.

Therefore, when news of Cheng Xu's homosexuality spread in the county, Xiao Jiancheng felt ashamed and forced him to be locked up at home, intending to send him to a school that was said to treat homosexual mental illness.

Xiao Jiancheng's plan was not blocked by anyone, the only person who could stop him was Xu Qiuhua, but Xu Qiuhua did not dare to disobey him, she even persuaded Cheng Xu to treat him as soon as possible, "Son, this is a disease, it can be cured."

The night before being sent away, Xiao Xiao stole the key and let Cheng Xu go.

If it wasn't for her, Cheng Xu didn't know what he would be facing now.

Although Xiao Jiancheng's attitude caused him a lot of secondary damage, but to be honest, he doesn't hate Xiao Jiancheng, nor does he hate Xu Qiuhua.

He knew that his choice was incomprehensible to the well-behaved generations in the county. Xiao Jiancheng and Xu Qiuhua were just poor people living in the public opinion. The only thing he could do was to escape from the place that bound him.

In the past five years in Rongcheng, he felt that he had found a shelter from the rain.

Compared with the county town, Rongcheng is very tolerant of homosexuality. He has seen many men and women walking hand in hand on the street. They are bold and frank, which is what he most yearns for.

Falling in love with a man or a woman is just a matter of choice, but there are always people who have to rise to the ethical level and use morality to condemn those who choose not to meet their standards.

Before Cheng Xu left the county, Xiao Xiao, who was only 14 years old, said to him, "They think it's shameful that you like men, but in fact, their ignorance is the most shameful thing."

For some reason, Xiao Xiao matured precociously compared to other children of the same age. At the age of 13, she was already the leader of the small group, wandering around in various places, she was also the legendary little sister.

She didn't know where she learned this principle, and it just soothed Cheng Xu's messy emotions. Cheng Xu has been remembering it until now.

After Xiao Xiao came to Rongcheng, she found Cheng Xu directly, and unceremoniously occupied Cheng Xu's bedroom, her domineering appearance was like her father's, Cheng Xu didn't care about it, and let her live like this.

To a certain extent, his current freedom was given by Xiao Xiao.

"Your father didn't do anything to you, did he?" After the reunion, Cheng Xu became concerned about the past.

Xiao Xiao let him go privately. According to Xiao Jiancheng's temperament, I'm afraid he won't forgive Xiao Xiao easily.

"It's nothing." Xiao Xiao said, "It was just a beating, and then lay in the hospital for a week and was alive and kicking again."

Cheng Xu: "..."

"And you, have you found your other half?"

"No."

"..." Xiao Xiao said, "Why do you eat? There are so many good-looking boys in Rongcheng, but you are still single until now?"

"This circle is quite messy, and I don't want to mess around."

"Tell me, can you really find someone who will live with you for the rest of your life?" Xiao Xiao wondered, "You can't get a certificate, and you can't have children. What can you guarantee in the future?"

Xiao Xiao understands his choice, but the real problem is right in front of him. Apart from the love for each other, there is indeed no other strong restraint between homosexuals. Just the fact that the law does not recognize this rule is enough to make people breathless.

"There will always be."

Cheng Xu still wanted to wait.

Rather lack rather than abuse.

This is his most honest thought.

The memory ends.

It's almost dawn.

Cheng Xu woke up in the middle of the night and never fell back asleep. He rubbed his sore eyes, turned on his phone and checked the time. It was only ten past six in the morning.He woke up four and ten minutes earlier than usual on weekdays.

Cheng Xu still got up.

He puts on his sportswear, goes for a morning run, sweats, shakes off these messy thoughts, and lives in the moment.

After running back, Cheng Xu took another shower, made breakfast porridge and kimchi, and left a portion for Xiao Xiao.

Seven thirty.

go to work.

nine o'clock.

To start working.

Cheng Xu sat in the office, read books when he was free, occasionally chatted with colleagues, and kept his head buried when he had work. The working hours passed quickly, and it was noon in a blink of an eye.

At twelve noon, the students of University C finished their classes and went to the cafeteria and snack street one after another.

The young man's face was full of youthful vitality, and Cheng Xu's eyes were full of envy. He was about the same age as them, even younger than some of them, but he had long been struggling in the torrent of society.

"Come out of Xiaobeimen and eat the rabbit noodles here." On the phone, a colleague reported the location.

Cheng Xu and another colleague went there as soon as they left the office.

"Xiao Cheng, are you really planning to continue studying? Are you considering enrolling in a class?" Li Xu, a colleague, asked while eating noodles. I said that I have the willingness to test myself.

Cheng Xu came to Rongcheng to work hard without graduating from high school. This is always a little regret in his heart. He plans to save some money and take the self-examination.

The cost of self-examination is very high, and he is under great pressure to save money. He has to send money to Xu Qiuhua every month. Judging from the current situation, he will have to wait another year or two no matter what.

Thinking of this, Cheng Xu felt a little heavy.

Two years is enough to change a lot. He is afraid that before two years, he will be swept away by the torrent of the times, and his mother will die on the beach.

"If you want to take the test, you should take the test quickly. Now you are still young and can learn. When you reach our age, I am afraid that your head will hurt when you read the book." Zhang Yuan said, "If you have any difficulties, tell me. , brother can help you."

"Thank you, Brother Yuan."

"There's me too." Li Xu said, "I'll help you too. When you pass the exam, just don't forget brother."

Cheng Xu smiled.

The three of them had a quick meal, then returned to the office, turned on the air conditioner, and took a nap.As soon as Cheng Xu woke up, the landline rang, saying that the multimedia computer in a classroom seemed to be broken, and asked them to send someone to take a look.

Cheng Xu hung up his work badge and left.

After Cheng Xu got off work, he went to the vegetable market to buy vegetables as usual. On the way home, he met his landlord, Ji Yuan, a female college student in her twenties who lived in the neighborhood opposite Cheng Xu.

There are four or five communities in this area, all of which are resettlement houses. Ji Yuan has her own house in the three communities, and the house Cheng Xu lives in is entirely under her name, so Ji Yuan was very straightforward when setting the rent, "I I think you are quite eye-catching, let's be friends? A friend will give you a friendship price, how about 800 a month?"

In an area where the rent is generally upwards of [-] yuan, the price she gave is undoubtedly a big sale, not to mention that this is a two-bedroom apartment.

At Cheng Xu's request, Ji Yuan still insisted on not raising the rent. Cheng Xu was almost ashamed to live in it, but Ji Yuan had a vicious eye. He saw his true nature at a glance and planned to introduce him to a boyfriend.

When meeting this kind of person, most people would think she was sick, and Cheng Xu was no exception.

But it turns out that Ji Yuan is just getting acquainted with her, and she has such a good personality that there is nothing to say. He often invites Cheng Xu to hang out with her. Cheng Xu almost started two romances under her help.

"What do you like exactly?" Ji Yuan finished introducing the suitable boys around her, but she didn't see Cheng Xu being tempted, so she was very curious about Cheng Xu's criteria for choosing a mate.

"They are all good, but we are not suitable."

"Drip, good card."

"..."

Ji Yuan dragged his suitcase and walked on the road. When he saw Cheng Xu, he smiled and waved, "Get off work?"

"Hmm." Cheng Xu said, "Is today a holiday?"

"Skipped class."

Cheng Xu: "..."

Ji Yuan: "Long time no see, handsome guy, do you have a date?"

Cheng Xu smiled bitterly: "Stop teasing me."

Ji Yuan blinked, "Xiao Xu, I suddenly want to understand a question."

"what?"

"You don't like the truth of my friends, it's actually—" Ji Yuan poked his chest, raised his eyebrows and smiled strangely, "You're a zero, aren't you?"

Cheng Xu: "..."

"Did I guess it?" Ji Yuan was proud and melancholy, "This city of Rong is full of wandering land, and there is nothing to rely on. It's not that I talk too much, but Xiao Xu, you want the unwell to survive and be a one for love? "

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