[Tutor] Lick the dog until nothing is left

Nearly half a year has passed since then, and Tsunayoshi and Kyoko have gradually found a way to get along without embarrassing each other. Everything seems to be back to the original point. No one knows what happened between them, and no one will take the initiative to ask.That short year can be called a dream-like relationship time, just like this, it was submerged in the peaceful life day after day, and could never go back.

Although on the surface he put on an appearance that I'm fine and you don't need to worry, in fact only Tsunayoshi knows that what happened that day not only had a profound impact on Kyoko, but even himself.He would often return to that dark room in his dreams. He dreamed that he was pinned to the ground by an invisible force. Although he struggled hard, he still couldn't get rid of it. He watched the pistol aimed at Kyoko pull the trigger.

With a bang, blood spattered on the snow-white wall, and the dazzling scarlet was like a red plum blooming in the sky, reflected in his eyes and turned into bits of broken light.The fear rushing through his veins almost made him unable to breathe, and Kyoko's name overflowed from his throat in pain, but when he woke up from this nightmare scene, he gasped heavily, and suddenly felt that cold sweat had permeated the skin beneath his body. bed sheet.

The icy air penetrated the barrier between the bedding and clothing and flowed on the skin, and the eyes were filled with the thick night that could not be melted away. Gang Ji sat in place for a long time, until Li Baoen, who was on the opposite hammock, opened his mouth and finally lifted him from this place. Saved from the boundless darkness and fear.

"Tomorrow is the important New Year's Day, Gang."

Accompanied by these words, the lighting above the head suddenly turned on with a "stab" sound, and Tsuna raised his hand subconsciously to cover it, and felt a weight in front of him, and Li Baoen had jumped in front of him, wearing a ridiculous pink Pajamas, looking up at him intently.

Gang Ji slowly put down his hand, and for some reason, he remembered that this pajamas seemed to be given to Li Baoen by Xia Li in the third year of junior high school, and the reason was to thank him for letting her pass the examination.Thinking of this, his attention was slightly distracted, and his whole body was no longer as tense as when he just woke up. After a pause, he realized what Li Baowen had just said, and his voice, somewhat hoarse due to lack of water, was quiet. There was a sound in the room: "I'm going to sleep now... Li Baoen is the same, don't worry about me, I will be fine soon."

It's a pity that these words failed to persuade his usually shrewd tutor, Li Baoen stood motionless and stared at him for a while, his dark eyes reflected Gang Ji's pale face, after a while Then he said: "It's really shameful, such a useless look."

The hand holding the quilt tightened suddenly, Gang Ji pursed the corners of his mouth and said nothing, only heard Li Baoen's immature but cold voice without any emotional fluctuations and continued: "Are you afraid, or are you regretting it? Do you think it would have been better if I hadn’t gone to the street with Kyoko that day? Or should I have kept everything a secret from the beginning and told her everything without making my own decisions?”

"It's a pity that no matter what you think now, what should have happened has already happened. What you should think about is not how to escape, but to face it all with a correct attitude."

"Letting yourself step back step by step is the thinking of the weak. I have taught you for so many years, not to make you go back to the good-for-nothing gangster who always talked about what to do when things happen."

The critical words came out of the other party's mouth word by word, and the cold voice penetrated into Gang Ji's mind, more and more like laughing at his embarrassment at the moment, but he had no way to refute, because what Li Baoen said Every sentence used to be something he thought of all the time during the past six months.As if being stabbed, Tsuna raised his head abruptly, raised his voice and shouted unbearably: "Enough-stop talking!"

The heartbeat that had finally eased became restless again. Gang Ji took a deep breath, trying to calm down, but facing Li Baoen's eyes that seemed to see through everything, he unconsciously turned a corner when he said it. Clenching his fists, the hair on his forehead was stuck together with sweat, which was far from the clean and tidy look in the past.

All the emotions during this period of time found an outlet at this moment. He tried hard to suppress it, but failed in the end. He sat on the bed with red eyes, like a loser who gave up on himself, and even his voice was trembling.

"I know, I've always known, it's not okay to go on like this, I can't let myself be immersed in the past memories and I can't get out, but I don't know why, but I can't control myself, I always dream again and again What happened that day..."

"I dreamed that I didn't protect Kyoko ちゃん, and caused her to lose her life in such a fearful mood. Although I woke up and knew that it was all fake, it was just a dream, but that incident really made Kyoko ちゃん suffer. Hurt, if I hadn't ignited the fire of death that day, wouldn't the ending that awaited us be like a dream?"

He hugged his head to avoid Li Baowen's sight, and felt the tears gradually filling his eyes in the dark, but he gritted his teeth and didn't let it fall, as if this was his last insistence.

Whether it's Vengley or the Mafia, he still has no way to accept it all.Just like what Kyoko said, he himself couldn't imagine what it would be like to become a mafia, so could he still be called the current Tsunayoshi Sawada at that time?

But at the same time, he also knew that he could not turn back now. From the moment Li Baoen came to him, his fate was already doomed, and Pengo Lie would become a burden and responsibility that he could not shake off. Even if you are reluctant, you must force yourself to accept it for the sake of the partners who are here.Even though he clearly understood in his heart, from the very beginning, he had no choice.

It would be nice if I were an ordinary person, then all the pain would disappear, and I would no longer have to face this future that I don't know the way forward, and at the same time I don't want to face it.

But if he was really an ordinary person, then he would never meet Gokuji, nor would he get to know Yamamoto, Ryohei, and Rambo, and he might even be unable to talk to Kyoko, whom he longed for and liked, for the rest of his life, let alone because of this. Change step by step, and gradually grow towards a better look, which is also what everyone expects.

He was grateful for everything Li Baoen had brought him, but at the same time he was afraid of the responsibility of being the leader that came with it, especially after breaking up with Jingzi, this feeling of struggle became more intense.

Unspeakable feelings lingered in his heart, making him almost breathless, but he didn't know who to tell.

Now, Li Baoen stood in front of him, listened to all his words quietly, and took into his eyes the embarrassed posture that seemed to be crushed, a complex stream of light flashed in the dark eyes, but his face Always calm.

"Finished?" Li Baoen stretched out his hand and dragged back the paper that had been randomly thrown at the foot of the bed, and threw it in front of him with a little force. He didn't say any more words of criticism or accusation, but said indifferently, "If you have vented enough, just wipe away your tears, don't act like a child who is acting like a baby with an adult."

Perhaps this calmness affected him, and Tsuna's mood gradually became calmer. He stretched out his hand and hugged the paper into his arms, and randomly tore the paper to wipe the wet corners of his eyes. At this moment, he also felt This look is really useless, obviously at the age of a high school student, but when he was bullied like when he was a child, he would just run home and cry, so it's no wonder that Li Baoen couldn't bear it.

Before this self-deprecating thought started to dissipate, Li Baoen's voice sounded again in the quiet room. This time his tone finally began to change, and a faint smile was tinged in his immature voice.

"Well, I finally let you speak out what's in your heart, and it's not in vain that I wasted this night."

Gang Ji was taken aback, felt the shadow projected in front of him move twice, subconsciously looked up, only to find that it was Li Baoen who sat down on his knees cross-legged.

Sensing his gaze, those round eyes looked over without avoiding it, and Li Baoen asked him back with a very leisurely attitude: "Why, are you surprised?"

Gang Ji hesitated and shook his head, only to see that Li Baoen smiled at him with the corners of his lips raised, obviously looking friendly, but the next words made people feel more serious than the previous indifferent tone.

"Listen well, Gang, I will only say these words once, because they are very important, so keep them firmly in my heart, no matter what happens in the future, don't forget what I said today."

"Being Mafia's BOSS may be an unacceptable thing for you, but you have no way to retreat. If this is the case, then muster up the courage to face it. Whether you are happy or not, It doesn’t matter if you are sad, they will eventually pass and will become part of your memory in your future life, including the pain you are enduring now.”

"Escaping will never solve any problems. If you want from the bottom of your heart to prevent Jingzi from encountering what happened that day, all you can do is to change yourself and make yourself stronger, because only in this way can you protect The person you want to protect. At that time, no matter whether it is Kyoko, or Yamamoto, Guji, Ryohei, or even Xiali, no one can hurt them, because you will become their barrier, just like It is like the sky that covers everything and renders everything at the same time, this is your responsibility as a BOSS."

"Don't always be so hopeless, people have to learn to grow up, whether it's family, friends, or lover, you cherish everything now, but the wish for a peaceful life is only based on praying. Unattainable."

"So, get really strong, Gang. Whether it's physically or spiritually. The you on that day were actually well protected by Kyoko, so you don't need to be afraid of anything. As The successor of Vongola’s will, your ring is not only lit with flames, but also the awareness of wanting to become stronger in order to protect others.”

The powerful words were like bells ringing in the mist of the morning light, breaking away the layers of fog that covered the bottom of my heart, and made Gang Ji sober up a lot in vain.

Perhaps it was because he had become accustomed to relying on Li Baoen, but after hearing these words, he was actually calmed down.He began to repeat these words in his mind, and the shackles that weighed on his heart that made him feel overwhelmed gradually broke, and new confusion and confusion followed.

If it's just about gaining strength, then it doesn't seem to be a difficult task, but the meaning revealed from Li Baoen's words is not only that.What is truly powerful, and when will he become what Li Baoen said he wanted him to grow up to, there is no answer.

Keeping this doubt in my heart, the New Year's banquet on the second day will soon arrive.

As in previous years, everyone gathered at Tsunaki's house by coincidence, but Tsunaki was affected by the conversation the night before, and he was a little mentally ill throughout the day, although he tried his best to look similar to the past, But without Li Baoen stirring up the atmosphere, the meeting seemed much quieter after all.

After Xia Li left the table, someone suggested one after another that he wanted to go home early, so he pulled himself together and got up to see her off.Standing in front of the fork in the road, Kyoko smiled at him and said Happy New Year to Agang-kun.With her carefulness, she should have discovered that he was wrong today, but she didn't ask why.What is he still looking forward to?Tsuna tried his best to ignore the sadness and sourness that always appeared when facing her, and smiled back.Seeing this, Liao Ping patted his shoulder, and quickly left with his sister.

"Judaimu..." Seeing this scene in his eyes, Guiji opened his mouth, looking at his expression as if he wanted to say something to comfort him, but when he spoke, his style changed, accompanied by an exaggerated 90-degree bow, Just like usual, I said loudly to him, "Happy Chinese New Year, Judaime! Next year I will continue to work hard to become an excellent left and right hand!"

"Haha, you seem to be saying this every day." Yamamoto straightened him as he spoke, stretched out his hand and waved at Tsunayoshi, and laughed heartily, "Let's go back first, see you at the beginning of school! You too, Tsuna, just be happy during the rare holidays, don’t always look sad, I see Sasakawa huh huh—”

Before he finished speaking, Prison Temple covered his mouth and dragged him away.

Gang Ji looked at the backs of them who were noisy and going away, stood there for a while, and then showed a helpless smile.

So it turns out that his mood has been so obvious for a while?Fortunately, he thought he hid it well.

He closed his eyes and felt the biting winter wind blowing over his cheeks, and even his whole skin was numb, with a tingling feeling.

Everyone could see that he was holding on...

It can't go on like this, he has to pull himself together, he can't continue to worry everyone like this.

With such thoughts in mind, Gangji let out a deep breath, opened his eyes and glanced at the way home, the warm yellow light illuminated the ground.But for some reason, he didn't want to leave. He paused for a while, and turned to the direction of Nanchome, which is the location of the Nishimori Shrine. In the past few years, everyone will go there together. Make a wish for the new year, but this year he is alone.

Ahhh, if I knew that I should call the Prison Temple and the others, wouldn't it be too strange for me to be alone?

But it doesn't seem to matter, after all, everyone has their own things to do, and they can't be called to accompany him just because of his whim, that's really a child, right?

He was thinking about something wildly in his mind, and when Tsunaji came back to his senses, he was already standing in front of the steps of the shrine, and unexpectedly met Xia Li who had left early before, and both of them were stunned for a moment.

It was also at this time that he suddenly realized that he hadn't had any private contact with her for a long time. Even after Xia Li released him from the blacklist, the contact times between the two were very few. Most of the time, he was always surrounded by a group of people, while Xia Li stood quietly in the girls' group, and her sense of existence became very low.

Perhaps to commemorate this long-lost encounter, snowflakes fluttered in the sky, and Gangji couldn't help thinking: So on the last day of this year, he was not alone.

The wind chimes were ringing above her head, and Xia Li, who was making a wish with her eyes closed, looked soft and sincere from the side, and there was a sense of tranquility between her brows and eyes. reality.After all, she is standing here now, no longer just a picture in her mind, but a warm person who can be touched by reaching out her hand.

When saying goodbye, Xia Li took a deep breath before smiling at him.The lights on both sides of the road fell on her clear eyes, and the black pupils reflected the color of amber, which carried expectations that maybe even she didn't know, but she could see the outline of this feeling. Ji was stunned for a moment, his original plan to just watch her leave suddenly changed for some reason.

Maybe it was because he couldn't bear it, or maybe it was because he felt empathy for such unconsciously revealed emotions, or maybe he didn't want her to be alone on this day like him, but at that moment he suddenly felt that being treated like this Looking forward to what I should do.

Walking side by side on the long street with flickering lights and shadows, Tsuna looked at the snowflakes falling in front of her eyes, and for some reason, her heart also became peaceful.The fragments of those memories turned into a series of frozen pictures, which flashed through his mind one by one, but his eyes were always fixed on the road in front of him, which stretched all the way forward, as if there was no end, like He is in the same situation now, he can only move forward, and can no longer turn back.

It was at this time that Xia Li, who had been quiet for a long time, suddenly spoke, finally breaking the overly quiet atmosphere between the two of them, and also made Gang Ji break free from her own world, subconsciously looking at her.

"Actually, before 'disappearing', Jingzi once sent me a text message. At that time, she asked me three questions."

"Is it true that if you like someone, you will become less like yourself. Do you have to make changes for that person in order to truly like that person? Why is there nothing in this world that cannot be changed?"

"I don't know what she went through to suddenly have such doubts. Maybe for her, if one day she becomes someone she doesn't even know, it will be a very scary thing. But, I am different .”

"Before this, I thought about it many times. I couldn't understand why I was like this, and I also thought about whether I was wrong. But when I saw you, I realized that this is what I did in accordance with my heart. choice, so no matter what the final result will be, I will not regret it."

I don't want to make things difficult for you.

I still like you.

So I am willing to change.

When Xia Li said these words, her eyes did not flicker or avoid, and there was a bright light in her eyes.Just like when he saw her for the first time, the so-called sharp color in the black eyes turned out to be unwavering and unflinching determination.

Facing such a pair of eyes, for some reason, Gangji suddenly remembered what Li Baoen once said to her, "It is because she is not recognized that she works hard", that is, because of such a tough character, That's why I can carry out my thoughts, no matter what kind of things I encounter, I can finally find the way forward.

And this perseverance and strength beyond ordinary people is exactly what Tsuna needs most at this moment.

Xia Li's words of expressing her heart suddenly woke him up, and let him know in time and just right that there is such a person in this world who will stay by his side even if she changes herself, with firm eyes It seems to tell him that even if the future is uncertain and full of thorns, he will never give up on him.

Although he didn't need her to really change anything for this, just this intention was enough.

Like Jingzi, he is also afraid of everything about the Mafia, the unknown road in front of him, and the unpredictable future.But at this moment, he suddenly had the motivation to move forward, and Xia Li's bright eyes gave him great courage in a trance.

Since you can't go back, then keep going forward.

With this unwavering companionship, he will definitely not get lost in the journey ahead. From now on, no matter how deep the darkness is, he will not be afraid anymore, because he has enough strength by his side. Something that keeps him going.

He wants to protect Xia Li and all the partners who stepped into this world for him, that's why he will inherit Pengo Lie.In addition, he is still Sawada Tsunayoshi, and this simple desire to be with everyone will never change.

He still can't figure out what is the so-called strong and how to determine the standard of being strong, and maybe he won't understand in the future, but it doesn't matter anymore.Because he has found a belief that he can stick to, for this belief, even if he feels pain, he will not give up lightly.

Whether it is now or in the future, he is never alone.

The author has something to say: In fact, many things really happened in places that Xia Li could not see. Everyone has their own growth path, and Xia Li has been unwaveringly accompanying her for a long time, which is actually a great experience for 27. This kind of invisible support allows him to remember his original intention all the time.

There may not be many emotional descriptions (scratching head) because in my opinion, 27 is not a person who puts love first no matter what age he is. What he thinks and sees is far more than that of a little girl like Xia Li. Much more, this is also the main reason why the two of them are not in the same world in Chapter 1, but Xia Li saw this clearly later, so she tried her best to catch up with 27.

All in all, I am really bald... If there is no accident, there will be extra episodes ([-])...

Thank you Xiaotong and SUGAR for the two cute mines, and also thank Xiaotong for the rocket launcher, so heartfelt!