gentle fall

Ji Yirou finally chose a pea green skirt, which was praised by Wen Huaiyu again.

People who are cold and introverted on weekdays only heard such a sentence, baby, their gentle and beautiful eyebrows and eyes were bent all the way, and even Wen Huaiyu became in a good mood.

They walked in the city, looking for the alleys in Wen Huaiyu's memory, one after another.

My favorite breakfast shop when I was in elementary school, the wonton stall where the grandmothers on the street sell, the dilapidated old teaching building in the elementary school, the flowery skirts hanging on the wire... time seems to slow down, Wen Huaiyu hasn’t felt so peaceful in his heart for a long time, I saw a grandpa selling cotton candy on the street corner, and I ran up to buy two. The two of them walked a long, long way holding a big cotton candy.

Ji Yirou doesn't like sweet things, just when she was about to tell Wen Huaiyu that it was too sweet, she was stunned, her eyes filled with tears, she looked extremely embarrassed for a moment, turned around and left.

Ji Yirou chased after her and grabbed her elbow: "What's wrong?"

Wen Huaiyu breathed a sigh of relief, and suppressed his emotions in such a short period of time: "It's okay. I saw the neighbor I knew before, and I don't want to see her, I don't want to be seen."

Ji Yirou didn't know what she was sad about, so she could only say hello and follow her away.

The two of them stayed for another day, and the trip was coming to an end, but Wen Huaiyu looked a little blank, as if he had been like this since he hurried back yesterday, as if he was thinking about something, but he didn't want to say it.

When Ji Yirou packed her luggage, she remained silent, dragged her luggage and left, stood on the side of the road, reached out to stop a taxi, and said she was going to the airport, but Ji Yirou pulled her clothes behind her, Wen Sheng said, "Go and see them."

Wen Huaiyu was stunned.

Ji Yirou reached out to take the suitcase, said sorry to the master, took her back, deposited the suitcase, and took her out again, without asking her if she wanted to go, just asking her: "Where is the cemetery?"

Wen Huaiyu reacted a little slowly, pointed to the southwest corner, subconsciously listened to her words, and was taken outside the cemetery, she took a deep breath: "I don't want to go in."

Why don't you want to.

Obviously dare not.

Ji Yirou stretched out her hand and rubbed her cheek, the temperature in her palm was hot and comfortable, her voice was also soft, coaxing patiently: "It's okay, just go in for a while, just accompany me to see them, okay? good?"

Wen Huaiyu pursed his lips, said hello softly, and followed her in, with a still expression on his face.

The cemetery is quiet and solemn, but there are not many people buried here. The custom in this small town is water burial. People who grew up by the sea seem to have a particularly deep affection for water.

Ji Yirou was originally walking in front, pulling her away, but Wen Huaiyu suddenly broke free from her hand, and ran forward in a hurry, almost tripping over several times, but when standing up, she was always faster , looking anxious and bewildered, ran to a certain place.

She ran wildly, her hair was blown by the wind, and she didn't know when she started to choke, until she stood in front of a tombstone, she stopped timidly, and after a short two seconds, her knees softened, and she knelt down, her cheeks were like All buried in dust and fallen leaves.

Ji Yirou caught up a few seconds later, only to hear her choked up and said:

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have answered the phone."

"I was wrong. I don't blame you for sending me away anymore."

"I don't get angry anymore, I don't lose my temper, I don't play around anymore."

"You...you don't want me anymore, okay?"

She was crying so hard that Ji Yirou's heart was crushed, and she wanted to step forward to hug her, but she knew in her heart that at this moment, it was enough to leave her alone.

Wen Huaiyu was crying, and she watched her cry from the sidelines. Tears welled up in her eyes at some point, but she couldn't bear it anymore, and stepped forward to hug her: "Okay, we're going back."

Wen Huaiyu didn't struggle, and leaned limply in her arms, sobbing and repeating: "I'm sorry. I was wrong..."

Ji Yirou wiped the broken grass leaves and dust on her forehead with her hand, and kissed her cheek very gently: "Nan Nan, we're going back."

Wen Huaiyu bit his lip, did not speak, his whole body began to tremble uncontrollably.Her gaze was fixed on the tombstone. There was a picture of a man on it. When he smiled, he was a little shy and gentle, and he looked like an extremely gentle person.

Ji Yirou sighed softly, stretched out her hand, covered her eyes with the palm of her hand, held her in her arms, and wanted to take her away.

Wen Huaiyu couldn't calm down at all, pushed her hand away, and threw herself in front of the tombstone again. The crying that she had been holding back turned into a loud cry, which scared the birds away. Her voice was broken into sentences, intermittent, repeated speak.

She was wrong.

Don't want her.

Ji Yirou stood aside and watched, seeing such a proud and strong person like her crying like this, her heart was crushed to pieces, but she was so powerless, she almost hated herself for this.

As the dusk fell, the tired birds returned to their nests, and Wen Huaiyu finally got tired of crying, as if she had shed all the tears she hadn't shed in the past 20 years, then she stood up weakly and walked back in a daze.

Ji Yirou followed her, but didn't dare to hold her hand. The two of them returned to the homestay, which shocked the proprietress. Ji Yirou hurriedly said something to stay another night, and followed Wen Huaiyu back to the room.

Wen Huaiyu's tears had dried up, and his expression looked extraordinarily empty, and he said to himself, "It's all because of me."

Ji Yirou saw that her expression was not right, put her hands on her shoulders, and met her eyes: "It's not because of you. Don't blame yourself."

The corners of Wen Huaiyu's lips curled up slowly, and he laughed at himself, "It's because of me."

"You don't know... When grandpa asked someone to pick me up, I didn't want to go back."

"This is my home. I have my parents, why should I go?"

Ji Yirou held her hand: "I know, you did nothing wrong."

I don't know which sentence suddenly touched her emotions. Wen Huaiyu struggled to break away from her hand, and tears came down: "No. It was my fault. They didn't want me at that time and sent me away. Others said that they took me away. A lot of money. I thought to myself, I don’t want me anymore, and I don’t want them anymore. Later, my father lay on the hospital bed and called before he passed away. I was still sneering and asked him if he had money. Much better."

She stood up and lost control of her emotions: "He kept calling me by my nickname, calling me Nannan, saying that Dad missed you, and asking if I could come back... But I said no, that you are not worthy, and said In this life, even if you die, don't even think about seeing me again!"

Ji Yirou couldn't let her break down like this anymore, she stepped forward and took her into his arms, ignoring her struggle, and said softly: "Okay, don't talk about it."

But Wen Huaiyu wanted to say it.

The things that have been accumulated in her heart for more than ten years, she has been silent for so long that even she herself thought she had forgotten it, and she didn't know it at this moment.

Those regrets and mistakes, those remorse and guilt, accumulated over time, forming a volcano of insomnia. The moment it was ignited, those memories surged up like magma, burning away her remaining sanity.

"Later my mother was also sick. She was lying on the hospital bed alone and wanted to see me. She couldn't wait for me, so she went to find me... But I was not there at that time, and they didn't let her see me... She could only go back At home, she passed away on the way, on the way. I didn’t know until I returned to China... When she went to the hospital, her hands were already so cold.”

She paused for a moment, with a smile on her lips: "Until I died, I never got to see me."

Ji Yirou knew early on that Wen Huaiyu's adoptive father and adoptive mother passed away early, and the two had no children. At that time, she only felt a little regretful, and didn't know that there were many hidden secrets in it. Now that Wen Huaiyu said it one by one, she felt infinitely disappointed Yes, hug her: "It's not your fault. You were so young then."

Wen Huaiyu was still trembling slightly, the tears in the corners of his eyes hadn't dried up, and he was leaning against her arms, feeling unprecedentedly weak: "When I saw her, I wanted to hold her hand, but her hand... was so cold gone."

That was the nightmare of her life, how many times she dreamed back at midnight, she thought she was still in the hospital, still the teenage girl, running crazily, but she still couldn't catch up after all, only holding one Cold hands.

Ji Yirou tried every means to comfort her, coaxed her to sit down, and stopped crying.

Wen Huaiyu was stunned, his eyes wide open, his expression was a little empty, and he really stopped making trouble, and went into the bathroom to take a shower with his pajamas in his arms.

Ji Yirou coaxed her to sleep, but she held the quilt tightly with both hands, without blinking her eyes, and kept repeating: "I know I was wrong, I know..."

She just opened her eyes and repeated her words, like a doll with empty eyes, which made people feel distressed.

Ji Yirou tried her best to coax her, hugged her, kissed her, whispered in her ear, but it was of no avail.

She was probably trapped in her own dream, thinking that she was still that teenage girl who was lonely, helpless, and full of shame, who couldn't stop shaking, shrunk into a small ball, and after a long time Can't sleep.

Ji Yirou knew that she couldn't let her go on like this any longer, and thought of a thought that made her blush...it was really shameful, but she had no choice but to think of this way to comfort her... thinking about it made her tired , Sleepy, the whole person has no energy to think about this matter, and should be able to settle down.

So she kissed Wen Huaiyu's cheek in the quilt, said softly not to be afraid, then got into the quilt, lowered her body little by little, and stopped after a while.

When she kissed there, Wen Huaiyu trembled a little helplessly, and said blankly: "What are you doing?"

Ji Yirou held her waist and pressed her legs, probably because she had something in her mouth, her voice was vague: "Don't be afraid."

Wen Huaiyu was no longer afraid. She had been crying for a long time, and her mind was dull, but instinctively, a little moan overflowed from her throat, and her voice was filled with warmth: "What are you doing!"

That person stopped talking, just inch by inch, extremely pious and gentle, soothing her with his lips and tongue in the gentlest way she could think of.

That time when I was drunk, I didn't remember many things clearly, but this time the feeling came quickly and violently... Wen Huaiyu was frightened, couldn't help crying, and said that she didn't want it anymore.

But some things, once started, are out of control.

Until she was tired from crying and had no strength to cry anymore, so she fell asleep.