Pretending to be nice today

It was the evening rush hour, the subway was crowded with people, and the traffic on the road moved forward slowly. After stepping on the accelerator, one had to apply the brakes.

If you take a taxi, you may not be able to reach the hospital until dark.It just so happened that Lu Qingzhe drove here today, avoiding the crowded main road, and made a quick detour to the outer ring.

However, the school was a long way from the hospital, and there was a traffic jam near the hospital, which still took a lot of time.He received several calls from Fang Huiheng, urging him to hurry up.

Fang Yin had just started to get enlightened, and now he knew what happened.He had had a few near misses before, but this time he couldn't help but be lucky, so he said cautiously, "Is grandma okay?"

He couldn't help holding his breath, but Fang Huiheng's voice was noisy, and many people were talking.After a while, he heard Fang Huiheng say: "I've been rescued, and I'm in good spirits now. Are you on the way? Then just come and see, she hasn't seen you for a long time."

He breathed a sigh of relief, looked at the traffic lights, and then at Lu Qingzhe.Lu Qingzhe said, "We'll be there in twenty minutes."

Fang Yin stared at the phone anxiously, turned on the screen and then turned it off, repeating this several times.

He said: "My parents divorced. When talking about my whereabouts, my mother deliberately made things difficult for them, saying that if I was with her, she would raise me, but if they wanted me, she would not give me a penny of child support. Let them Choose yourself."

"Hmm." Lu Qing responded in awe.

Fang Yindao: "My grandma thinks very simply. She thinks that my mother won't care about me. She and her son want to care about me, so they take me away. In fact, she doesn't have that ability. Although she is very hardworking, in many respects, in fact No. For example, food, clothing, housing, transportation, and school, my mother can provide me with better conditions."

And only the old man is working hard, Fang Huiheng is not responsible. In this case, it is expected that Fang Yin, who has stomach problems, will return to Fang's mother.

He said: "She has reached retirement age early, but she has no pension and no savings. She has to go out to work. The salary is very low, and she can only barely survive. She has to support me, but she has always been very good to me. I have time to meet on weekends. Come and cook for me, and take me to buy toys."

Lu Qing said: "You are also very kind to her."

"Many people feel that they are overreaching and that I should hate them," Fang Yin said.

Lu Qing moved forward: "Don't care about what other people say. There is no clear right or wrong about these things. You can think of what they want. The important thing is your own feelings. You can feel at ease by doing this. Then Just do it."

Dealing with the sophistication of the world is not a test paper, and there is no need to rush towards the full score defined by most people. Your own actual feelings are the measure.

Lu Qingzhe knew that Fang Yin must have struggled and couldn't let go, so he continued to communicate with that side despite the disapproving eyes of others.

When my father was forced to call to borrow money, and when my grandma was in need of hospital expenses, if the same situation were really placed on the spectators, they might not be indifferent.

He paid attention to Xia Yin's expression, and said: "Don't worry too much, there should always be an order in dealing with problems. I think these problems should be taken into account first, and then consider other things."

Fang Yin was curious: "What is in front of you?"

"Well, of course it's your current mood." Lu Qing said, "Thanks to your help, grandma has received good care and treatment in her later years, aren't you happy?

Fang Yin said: "I'm glad I was able to help her."

"Will you regret it before? Will you suddenly feel annoyed later?" Lu Qingzhe got two negative answers and said, "Then congratulations, you didn't miss it from the beginning to the end."

Fang Yin couldn't laugh at this time, and reluctantly replied: "I thought you would analyze some gains and losses objectively."

"Here with you, I'm not a bystander eating melon seeds, I can't be objective, and I don't want to be objective." Lu Qing said, "I believe that you have your own sense of proportion, so I just want to try my best to empathize with you, so that You know you're not alone, and maybe that makes it easier."

This is not a stage for expressive ability and desire to perform, it is Fang Yin's weakness, stepping on this place to express his views, seemingly persuading with earnest words, but actually commanding from above, is very wicked.

"It's easier." Fang Yin said.

Although he hadn't been shaken by outside discussions, he felt at ease being comforted by Lu Qingzhe.

The atmosphere in the car was always tense, and it didn't ease up because of Fang Huiheng's safety announcement.Both of them were secretly worried, and then Lu Qingzhe asked, "Do you want to play music?"

Fang Yin shook his head: "I can't listen."

"Turn your attention away, doesn't it mean that grandma is in good spirits now? Don't scare yourself." Lu Qingzhe raised his hand and turned on the car music.

The sound of the waltz played slowly, with a fresh and elegant style. Listening to the touching tune, Fang Yin's nervous and irritable mood calmed down a little, and he took a few deep breaths.

The red light turned into a green light. Accompanied by the urging of a few car horns elsewhere, the vehicle ahead slowly moved forward as if the driver had just woken up.

The phone screen lit up, Fang Yin lowered his head to unlock it, and opened the SMS page.

[Fang Huiheng]: People left.

Very inappropriate, Fang Yin casually wore a red T-shirt today.He silently pinched the corner of his clothes, and pulled the piece of fabric as if venting his emotions.

The whole body was as hard to move as if it was rusted, and after just pulling for a while, he actually felt pain all over his body.

Lu Qingzhe looked at him suspiciously. He tried to speak, but his throat was astringent when he failed.He quickly shut his mouth and looked at the ornaments hanging down from the interior rearview mirror without moving.

It was a miniature felt five-flowered deer and a Ping An Yushou. The former was made by Fang Yin himself, and the latter was purchased by someone else. Not long after Lu Qingzhe bought the car, he quickly put these two gadgets together. Hang up.

The whole car was made childish in an instant, and Lu Qingzhe didn't dislike it. He was usually low-key and hardly moved. For these two things, he took a picture and posted it on Moments, saying he liked it.

Therefore, he gained some strength to support his mentality, he stabilized his mind, tried several times, and finally managed to stop his teeth from shaking.

He said: "Green light, go, drive."

The last few words were almost sobbing, and as soon as the voice fell, tears fell down immediately.

Before my heart could react to this fact, my body reacted first.He felt pain and kept crying. In this series of actions, he actually didn't realize the weight of this parting in his life.

Maybe one day in the future, an incident reminds me of my childhood, and I want to share it with my grandma and recall it together, and suddenly realize that I am the only one in this world who remembers it, and no one can resonate with me anymore.At this time, the boy who has never experienced a farewell like this can realize that the "goodbye" in front of him is never to be seen again for a lifetime.

He is just blaming himself now, obviously he could spend more time with the old man recently, but he failed to do so.Such a momentary negligence will never be done again.

This is probably a rare mistake in the world, no matter how you reflect on it and remedy it, it will be an irreparable mistake for life.

Immaturity can grow up, mistakes can be corrected, even if a broken mirror has more than 100 cracks, if you work harder, you may be able to reunite one day.He was lucky. The people he met grew up with him and allowed him to correct. He dropped the mirror and helped him piece it together. Let him stumble and stumble, let him seek perfection.

If I haven't seen the last side now, I will never see the last side.

Although the previous 20 years were not smooth sailing, there were also some blessings from fate, which made him not fully understand what it means to cherish the people in front of him. Today, he has to understand.

Fang Yin bent down and covered his eyes with his hands.He said, "I'm wearing the wrong clothes, red ones."

Having said that, Lu Qingzhe understood what happened, and fell into regret for a moment.Because he had to hold the steering wheel, he couldn't touch Fang Yin.

It was difficult for him to talk to Fang Yin, Fang Yin was so sad that he couldn't notice the movement of the nearby vehicles, only Fang Yin was crying intermittently.

It can be heard that Fang Yin tried his best not to show too much sadness, but it is a pity that it is difficult to restrain his emotions.Even if he strained his body to silence his crying, he was still sobbing after a while.

After pulling out a few tissues, he bent down and covered his nose and mouth tightly with the tissues.The method was more effective, and he gradually calmed down in the compulsively slowed breathing.

Obviously, when he caught a chance to pretend to be pitiful before, he would complain and let people coax him. Since the reconciliation, Lu Qingzhe found that Fang Yin has become more and more restrained in these aspects.

Especially now, the contrast is particularly stark.Obviously no matter how fragile it is, Fang Yin tries hard to be strong, and refuses to make others worry.

Lu Qingzhe tried his best to calm himself down, if he behaved at a loss again, Fang Yin would probably panic even more.He said, "I'll change with you later, okay?"

He was wearing A Dafa’s volunteer uniform, a simple white T with a school logo on it, but fortunately no fancy colors.The clothes of the two of them happened to be one size fits all today, and even if they changed them carelessly, they wouldn't look too strange in length.

Fang Yin let out an "um", with a nasal sound.

While driving into the hospital, Lu Qingzhe noticed a quick lock clothing store not far away.Later, Fang Yin will probably get into another car to go to the funeral home, where he can buy two black ones.

After parking the car, he reached out and pinched the back of Fang Yin's neck.Fang Yin didn't turn his head, and stared blankly at the scene outside the car window.

There was a minibus in front of the inpatient building, but no one was there, and the door at the back was opened, leaving a space for a small bed.

Lu Qing shook him and called his name, and he managed to come back to his senses.

After changing clothes, Fang Yin was still in a dream.He had already wiped off the tear stains with a tissue, and his cheeks, where the bruises had subsided, were flushed at the moment, and it could be seen that he must have rubbed so hard that it hurt.

He should be eager to run upstairs quickly, but he looked at the elevator continuously displaying new numbers in a daze, until it froze on a very high floor, and then the elevator door opened.

His leg was as if it had been filled with lead. Lu Qingzhe grabbed his arm and pushed him down. When he got out of the elevator, he saw nurses and doctors at the door of the ward at the end of the corridor, and people he didn't know coming in and out.Fang Huiheng handed someone a cigarette, but someone took it and didn't light it right away, stuck it between his fingers, and made a gesture.

Looking at tidying up, it seems to be describing a certain place.Lu Qingzhe thought about it and guessed that he was describing to Fang Huiheng exactly where the funeral home was and which mourning hall was still empty.

Fang Yin beside him didn't move forward, he still couldn't believe the scene in front of him.

Lu Qing didn't urge him, but listened to his sniffing, thinking that he was touched too much and had to cry again. Before he could comfort him, Fang Yin raised his hand, wiped his eyes hastily, and ran to the to the ward.

Fang Yin felt that he was late, not only because of the 10-[-] minutes of traffic jams, but also because of the time and time again opportunities to meet that were delayed a few days ago.

"I was also in the inpatient department." He looked at the old man wrapped in a quilt and murmured.

But he never came to visit once, and there are many reasons for this.

For example, if you are weak after surgery, try not to go to the room; for example, if you come here to see your aging relatives, you will definitely feel sad, which is not conducive to his recovery. The surgeon and doctor have told him to pay attention to his mood...

There are many reasons, you can convince others, but you can't make yourself let go.When he regrets, he thinks that he really didn't do it well.

Fang Huiheng noticed that Fang Yin's eyes were red, and he couldn't help enlightening him: "I didn't tell you, I don't blame you, it's my fault."

Fang Yin didn't know if he listened or not, seeing his grandma being lifted up slowly by two people, his heart twitched.Fang Huiheng looked at his pale face, and went forward to pat him on the shoulder, but he didn't look at his father who was closest to him, and looked back subconsciously, looking for something.

After Lu Qing asked him which mourning hall was held, he lightly patted him on the shoulder.Lu Qingzhe said: "Follow me, I'll find you later. Okay?"

Fang Yin stood where he was, looking at the three people in front of him.In the dim corridor, Fang Huiheng was wearing a whitewashed T-shirt, bowing his head forward.The two strangers next to him carried the quilt one after the other, with their grandmother wrapped inside, and walked straight to the elevator.

Lu Qing said: "Go and accompany your grandma. I was arguing that I would be discharged from the hospital no matter what. Now my wish has come true."

The implication is that this is not a relief, the boring cycle of day after day has a focus, and the body without freedom finally leaves the bed lightly.

After finishing speaking, he rubbed Fang Yin's hair. Fang Yin looked at him seriously, nodded slightly, opened his mouth, and finally pursed it again.

Lu Qingzhe said: "I will arrive as soon as possible."

Then Fang Yin was not so scared and confused, and chased the three people in front to catch up with the elevator.It was his first time to take a minibus. Except for the first row of driver's and passenger seats, there was a row of seats in the middle, and all the rear seats were removed.

As a result, an open space was vacated, and the old man slept in the back, just as Fang Yin imagined before entering the building.

This car is old, and the cloth on the seat is crooked by the previous people. It has been used for too long, and the color is gray.Fang Yin sat inside with a blank expression, while Fang Huiheng sat outside.

Such facilities are not enough for Fang Yin to care about. If he is hit hard at this moment, who cares so much.But after the car started, the road passed a few uneven roads, and every time it would be bumpy like falling apart, which could make people tremble.

Fang Yin was numb and could bear it. After a few more visits, Fang Huiheng didn't understand what was going on with his son, so he lowered his head and began to cry quietly.

This time Fang Yin was able to suppress the tears very quickly, and spoke out the restlessness in his heart.At first, he spoke in such a low voice that even Fang Huiheng couldn't hear clearly, it was only as if he was sobbing. Later, he almost squeezed out words from his throat, and finally conveyed them to others.

As if it took a lot of effort to speak, he spoke slowly, and said, "Slow down, you'll shock her."

When the driver heard this, he didn't say much, and complied with his wish, and then drove a little slower.Even so, it was still unavoidably wobbly in the middle.

Staring at the frustrated Fang Yin, Fang Huiheng sighed: "I've said it all, it's my fault, don't blame yourself, it's all dad's fault."

If it was mentioned that grandma was in poor condition, even if Fang Yin had just stepped off the operating table, he would still bite the bullet and come here to take a look.But no, he was unconsciously deprived of the right to know.

Fang Yin was so bored that he wanted to shout out, wanting to scold Fang Huiheng.However, when he got to the point of speaking, he felt that it was unnecessary, that he was irreparably powerless, and also had an indescribable entanglement.

Fang Huiheng's doing this was really a helpless choice in a dilemma.In the current situation, no matter how casual he was in the past, he is now under no less pressure than himself.

After a pause, Fang Yin shrank in the corner and looked at Fang Huiheng without saying a word for a moment. He didn't look back until the car honked a few times.

The memory of the next half hour is vague. He sat on the chair in a daze, watched Fang Huiheng fill out the form, bargained with a middle-aged woman, discussed the makeup and funeral arrangements, and left for a few minutes.When he came back, Fang Huiheng brought over two wreaths.

Fang Yin got up in a trance and put up his hand, carefully holding the object that he had only seen on TV before.The elegiac couplet fluttered in the wind, and he looked at the inscription written with a brush on it. One was himself and the other was Fang Huiheng, firmly fixed by a stapler.

He felt it with his fingertips and leaned the wreath against the wall.

The mourning hall is divided into two parts. The front door is open, and the posthumous photos are hung. Under the posthumous photos, there are small tables for storing things. The front is covered with soft cushions. Several long tables are placed around and outside the door.

In the back is a burning stove for paper money, an ever-burning lamp, a simple bench, and a long cabinet surrounded by fake flowers, where grandma is placed.Fang Yin sat alone on the bench, and Fang Huiheng not far away was calling his relatives one by one.

Fang Yin didn't know exactly who they were looking for and what they said.When he focused again, Lu Qing turned around.

Lu Qingzhe was wearing black short-sleeved sleeves, and brought a wreath as well. When passing by Fang Huiheng, he nodded his greetings to the person who was on the phone, quietly placed the things beside Fang Yin in the name of a junior, and respectfully lit the incense sticks. .

After he finished all this, he looked to the side, and Fang Yin was standing at the door connecting the front and the back. Under the light, Fang Yin's eyes were a little swollen, and his eyelashes were wet.

Lu Qingzhe said: "There is a sink at the door, do you want to wash your face?"

Due to custom, the small room behind cannot be left unattended.Fang Huiheng came in to replace Fang Yin, and let Fang Yin take a breath to adjust his mentality.

In the room, Fang Yin didn't pay attention, his left hand rubbed against the wall blackened by smoke, and the back of his hand was dirty a lot.He washed in the sink for a long time without washing off the stain, so he got on the bar sullenly, and rubbed it hard, as if he didn't hesitate to rub a layer of skin off.

"Take it easy." Lu Qingzhe put the paper bag out of the car on the ground, and hurriedly stopped Fang Yin.

He: "Why are you so hard on yourself?"

Fang Yin looked at the light-colored mark on his hand that was not completely cleaned, and felt a little disgusted with himself, even for such a simple little thing.

Lu Qingzhe said, "Wait for me for 2 minutes."

He went to a nearby grocery store and asked, and there happened to be soap.After buying a piece, he unpacked it, wet the soap under the faucet, and then gently rubbed the back of Fang Yin's hand.

The dense foam exudes a fragrance, which is not suitable for this place full of burning objects.

Lu Qingzhe was so careful that he almost cherished it. He carefully washed Fang Yin's hands. Fang Yin was holding one hand and looked at him intently.

He is so handsome that no matter what kind of aesthetic preference he has, he will really appreciate it.Being too outstanding will lead to a sense of distance, which makes him always associated with words like cold and cold. Now that he has lowered his long eyelashes, he is extraordinarily gentle under the starlight of the summer night.

Every time I describe Lu Qingzhe secretly, I seem to be moved again, in a more intense way.

Lu Qing breathed a sigh of relief, and cleaned the stains on Fang Yin's hands.He warned: "Be careful when walking, it will be easier to get dirty here."

Fang Yin said: "Okay."

Although Lu Qingzhe was very careful just now, Fang Yin's hands still turned abnormally red.Lu Qingzhe held his hands together and asked, "Does it hurt? Why didn't you make any noise when you washed it?"

Fang Yin shook his head: "I don't feel much."

Afraid that Lu Qing might not believe it, he added: "It doesn't hurt."

He didn't slow down for a long time, his reaction was still a little slow, and his speech was soft.Lu Qing folded Fang Yin's hand together, and let out a sigh of relief.

He said: "If the baby doesn't hurt, then I will."