walk through spring with you

Yan Ran is a relatively healthy person. Although he works a lot of overtime, he rarely stays up late.

Compared with those who always go to bed at one or two o'clock in the evening, his living habit of going to bed at ten o'clock or eleven o'clock can be said to be simply not in line with the habits of young people.

Staying up late like this and chatting with Xiao Zichong all night, Yan Ran thought that he would fall asleep when he went to work that day, but he didn't expect that to be the case at all, he just had a little bad spirit, and his work efficiency couldn't be as high as before, but It didn't affect his work very much.

Yan Ran has been busy all morning, and at noon, when he is sitting in the company cafeteria for dinner, he has time to play with his mobile phone.

Click on WeChat, after a whole morning, there is a lot of new information.

In the group of relatives on my father’s side, I was discussing the travel plan for the Spring Festival. I asked him several times, and Yan Ran went up to reply; My second aunt did not remarry after that. My second uncle’s son, that is, his cousin, later entered the military system and worked because he seldom went home and never got married. After my second aunt retired, she was very free and spent almost every day in the group. I sent a lot of useless messages, Yan Ran flipped through them for a few seconds, replied to two pictures and liked her, then quickly cut them out, and then looked at the messages in other groups, one by one, and then turned to and Three groups of parents.

His mother posted a picture, which was the birthday of all relatives in the family, including young people of his generation. The next day was the birthday of his uncle's daughter, his cousin, who was already in country a Settled down, but his mother still asked Yan Ran to bless his cousin on the day of the accident, and said, "Don't forget."

Yan Ran went to send birthday wishes to his cousin again, and sent a red envelope, and transferred the screenshot of this page to the family group for his parents to take a look.

Some friends or classmates asked him about the latest tax declaration policy, some asked him if he had time to travel and take photos, some asked him to retouch pictures, and some friends who were traveling abroad asked him if he needed to bring tax-free products...

Yan Ran originally opened WeChat to see if Xiao Zichong had left a message for him after he returned to the company, so he reviewed WeChat while eating. He was busy for a whole noon, and after the meal, he basically forgot the original intention of opening WeChat.

When he returned to the office, Yan Ran thought about it, and remembered what he had forgotten. He opened WeChat again, searched for "Xiao Zichong", clicked on it, and found that the chat page between the two was still the one he gave to Xiao Zichong last night. Xiao Zichong sent him the location, Xiao Zichong replied him with an "ok", today, Xiao Zichong did not send him any information.

Yan Ran was a little depressed, but also a little angry, thinking what was going on with this person, he was seriously ill, did he go back to City G, if he did, could he just send a message "arrived" on WeChat?

Yan Ran originally wanted to care about Xiao Zichong enthusiastically, but when he got angry, he didn't want to ask Xiao Zichong anymore.

After a day's work, Yan Ran returned home, and the more he thought about it, the more he felt something was wrong.

Why did Xiao Zichong come to his house yesterday?

It seems that they didn't come to S City for work, just to catch up with him by the way, but specifically to catch up with him, but do the two of them need such a special time to catch up with each other?

Xiao Zichong is in trouble at work, so he needs to relax and come to me to talk about the past?

Yan Ran made this guess.

But when he thought about it, he felt that something was wrong. When Xiao Zichong left in the morning, he said, "Yan Ran, you haven't fallen in love yet, have you?"

He seemed to come to see me specifically for dating and getting married.

Yan Ran didn't sleep last night, and this night she washed up early and lay on the bed, but her mind was in chaos, she couldn't sleep, and she couldn't think clearly.

In fact, Yan Ran had a guess, or it was not a guess, but a beautiful imagination buried in his heart, and it could even be said to be an illusion—could Xiao Zichong have indescribable feelings for me? !

When thinking this way, Yan Ran couldn't help showing a silly smile under the quilt, and then he put away the smile again, sighed in his heart, and educated himself earnestly in his heart——I'm such a wise man. Sickness, YY is on my good buddy, if Xiao Zichong knows that I miss him so much, he will probably roll his eyes at me, and then say in his characteristic mocking tone, "Are you sick?"

Immediately, Yan Ran became sad again, covered her eyes with the quilt, and said in her heart, yes, I am really sick, if I am not sick, would I like you for so many years?You are the one who is sick. You suddenly came to my house and made me sleepless all night. When I got back, I didn’t hear from you. You didn’t even send me a WeChat message. Don’t you think I’m worried about you?

Yan Ran turned over melancholy, feeling that this was the only way she could live in this life.

In fact, Yan Ran doesn't think he is an out-and-out gay.

In this rotten city, there are so many small zeros, beyond Yan Ran's imagination.

When he first entered college, he didn't know what was the reason. The most likely reason was that he felt that his family had offended Xiao Zichong's family, and Xiao Zichong would never talk to him again. He hated him in his heart, and felt that Yan Ran had many problems and was not worthy of being a friend, so while feeling sad, he wanted to divert his attention from Xiao Zichong by expanding his horizons, so he contacted a The group I want to know about.

In the school he was in, because there were more girls than boys, he found out that there were also a lot of rotten girls and gays in the school, and the wide range of knowledge of the students really opened his eyes.

He was taken by his high school classmates who were studying in public health at the medical school to join a group that protects same-sex rights and promotes same-sex safe sex. He had to participate in activities in this area every week. At that time, he actually didn’t treat anyone at all Came out, but I don't know why, everyone assumes that he is a little 0.

Speaking of this, Yan Ran also felt like vomiting.

First, he, Yan Ran, is 180 centimeters tall, the tallest among the classmates in the class, and he is considered tall in their public welfare organizations and among the comrades they come into contact with, but probably because he is very Thin, it is actually a small 0 by default, he is very concerned about this, why can't he be 1, or 05?Of course, this was a silly and innocent thought of his freshman year.

Second, there are more girls than boys in the class, to what extent are there so few boys?There are only three boys.Among the remaining two boys, there was a boy who was short and effeminate, and was chased by girls as soon as he left. He soon had a girlfriend, and even changed several beautiful and capable girlfriends during the four years of college. , Every time he was still his scumbag girlfriend, yet someone still chased him.As for him, Yan Ran, the girls only treated him as a best friend, let him go shopping with him, let him take pictures, and asked him to help chase male idols, but no one gave him a thumbs up for his boyfriend.Yan Ran was very unconvinced by this, and had to ask the female classmates directly why no girls liked him.The female classmate was very honest, and told him directly that she didn't know, and when they were together, she would naturally treat him as a best friend, and she couldn't think about that.Yan Ran couldn't understand this, so he had to give up.

Thirdly, Yan Ran, as an abstinent person who loves to learn, likes nerds, brain supplements, and reading novels. After half a year in a charity organization, he feels that his identification with the gay group has been shaken to a certain extent.Yan Ran, who was still young at the time, gave people the impression that he was very obedient and rich, and he was kind to everyone, so as soon as he joined the group, he was quickly positioned as a little fat sheep.First, he was borrowed money, and after lending it to one person, many people soon asked him to borrow money. Yan Ran was embarrassed to refuse at first, so he had to borrow. Later, he found that it was all borrowed but not repaid, not only money, but even clothes. He was so dumbfounded that he lent out his clothes and shoes to others, and then he had to accept the fact that some people are like that.In addition to borrowing money, there are also people who often ask him out, because there are more than 1 people in this circle. At the beginning, there were not many people who asked him directly to ask him out. Basically, they asked him to help catch the winner. Yan Ran helped someone for the first time. Busy, there is a cute little 0 who fell in love with a rich man, asked Yan Ran to help, and brought this little 0 into his dormitory, saying that this little 0 is his classmate, that is, borrowing Yan Ran's school Act as a top student in 0.Yan Ran has always felt that his grades are quite poor, and his school is not very good. It is also an eye-opener for someone to take advantage of this situation, but for this little 211 to be able to catch up with this true love, he still wants to help others. up.After this kind of thing happened several times, he met someone who directly asked him to make an appointment. Yan Ran was quite frightened, and since then, he has left that social group.It is undeniable that he also met some pretty good people, wise, mature, elegant, sexy, glamorous, and some people taught Yan Ran and gave him a lot of useful experience, for example, who is infected, Tell him not to get too close to the other party; whoever is a liar will have nothing else to do except find someone to borrow money, tell him not to lend money to the other party; someone educates him not to agree to any group, etc...

Yan Ran is really not a person who likes to be stimulated. He is sensitive and slender, and he likes stable and pure feelings. He prefers to secretly read a passionate novel in the dormitory than to actually agree to an appointment with a stranger.

Yan Ran feels that although he has never dated a girl, he actually likes girls very much. Among the girls he knows, there are particularly good people and good people, who have excellent grades, have strong organizational and leadership skills, and are very down-to-earth and willing. Those who work, are gentle and kind, love to help others, are careful, are good at cooking, are in an extremely patriarchal family and rely on student loans to go to school, and are still sunny and cheerful... Everyone works hard to study hard and live positively. Yan Ran feels that these women Any combination of friends can live happily together.But as time went by, Yan Ran did not develop any relationship other than "girlfriends" with any of his female friends. Up to now, these female friends either have their own good spouses, get married and have children, or focus on their own development and personal development. Live, don't want to get married...

When Yan Ran wanted to completely forget his special feelings for Xiao Zichong and just treat him as an ordinary friend, it was when he was in the second year of graduate school.

After Yan Ran's undergraduate degree, he was guaranteed a graduate student in his school. His major in his school is good, so there is nothing wrong with guaranteeing a graduate student in his school.

Xiao Zichong had already gone abroad to study for a master's degree when Yan Ran was in his senior year, and Xiao Zichong did not tell Yan Ran about Xiao Zichong's study abroad. Yan Ran knew about it from his classmates. I checked Xiao Zichong's various social accounts, and found that Xiao Zichong really went to school in country a.

Yan Ran’s family also wanted Yan Ran to go abroad to study as a graduate student, which would help him to stay in school as a teacher, but Yan Ran’s English was not enough to support him to apply for foreign schools. Besides, it was difficult for him to apply for a scholarship abroad for his major. If he had to pay by himself, it would cost hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. Even Yan Ran’s family would feel pain when he went out. In addition, Yan Ran didn’t want to go abroad, so his family didn’t force him to prepare for exams and applications to go abroad.

Although he didn't make any preparations for graduate studies abroad, he had read a lot of materials and was taught a lot about studying abroad by his brothers and sisters at home, so he knew that even if Xiao Zichong was a b college student, he could apply from his major. It is still very difficult to study abroad with a full scholarship in country a.

Xiao Zichong's excellence put more pressure on Yan Ran.Yan Ran kept denying himself, feeling that the distance between himself and Xiao Zichong was the distance between heaven and earth, and it was impossible for them to be together.

Now Yan Ran is in the second year of graduate school, and Xiao Zichong has graduated with a master's degree. Through the words of his classmates, Yan Ran knows that Xiao Zichong is still working in country a, and he is in a well-known company.Everyone said that Xiao Zichong would settle down in country a, marry a foreign girl, and not return to his country.Many relatives of Yan Ran’s family have settled in country A. Of course he knows that as a Chinese, it is extremely difficult to marry a foreign girl because of cultural differences and racial issues, and Xiao Zichong does not necessarily like foreign girls, but Yan Ran Knowing that he is settling down in country a, this may be a very certain thing for Xiao Zichong.

Yan Ran thought that his thoughts on Xiao Zichong must stop here.It was at this time that his grandma passed away, which made Yan Ran very sad.

Yan Ran has long accepted the fact that her grandma will die, but when it really happened, Yan Ran still had difficulty controlling her painful emotions.The death of her grandma and the decision to cut off her feelings for Xiao Zichong made Yan Ran not want to face the world for a while.

At this time, as a graduate student, an undergraduate junior in the project he led began to pursue him enthusiastically.

Junior sister is a very good girl, beautiful, generous, cheerful and lively, which probably fits any senior brother's imagination of a beautiful partner, but after Yan Ran thought about it seriously, he found that he could marry her and fully fulfill the family responsibilities of a qualified partner. But it is difficult for him to really fall in love with each other.Can't love each other, but promise to be with each other, even if you spend money on her and love her, but you don't have love, don't like to agree with each other, if you think about it, it will be a kind of harm to the other party, how to spend the long time of your life.

Yan Ran now understands that he may really not be able to fall in love with anyone other than Xiao Zichong.

After that, he explicitly rejected his junior sister.

The junior sister is the daughter of a leader who has a relationship with the uncle. Yan Ran thought that the matter was over if she refused, but she didn't expect that it was not the case. In the end, the incident made the uncle, aunt, and parents know about it.

His parents came to him specifically and asked him why he rejected his junior sister. At first, Yan Ran just said that he didn't like his junior sister. His parents had many reasons to persuade him not to be so childish.

For example, the junior sister is so good and good in all aspects, there is no reason not to like it, Yan Ran said that liking has nothing to do with excellence and family background, but his parents said that he is young and ignorant, and that as long as he gets along more, he will always like it...

Yan Ran kept tussling with his family, but to no avail.

Yan Ran has always felt that he is very ordinary, and no one has ever seriously pursued him. Why is the junior sister so lame that she fell in love with him? After he refused, she did not give up. He often called him and blocked him in the teaching and research office and his dormitory, making him look like a heartless guy. The male and female students around him thought that Yan Ran was not a good person, and that Yan Ran had no reason to say that he was playing with the feelings of his juniors and sisters.

Junior Sister is a good Junior Sister, but now Yan Ran feels resentment towards Junior Sister.

After Yan Ran entered the third year of graduate school, she was busier with her studies than before.

He doesn't want to discuss with his family about "junior sister is very good, you shouldn't like her"; besides, he feels that his mathematics ability is limited, and it is really painful to continue to study for a Ph. D; He had led the project, so he was tired of being a university teacher; moreover, he was bored with the personnel strife of "Chiqian Wangbaduo" in colleges and universities that he had contacted from his uncle, so he decided not to study for a Ph. work done.

Yan Ran had an internship experience in a large company when he was a graduate student. He likes the atmosphere in the company where work comes before being a person, and he can leave at any time if he is unhappy.After his resume was sent out, each one entered the interview process, and he got offers from several companies, all of which were very good.

But when he just mentioned to his family his intention of wanting to work and not to study for a Ph. D., his parents were like explosives. They didn’t support his wish at all, let alone try to understand it, and because his junior sister finally had a clear mind. No longer grabbing his pearl and throwing it secretly, his parents hated Yan Ran even more.I don't have a Ph. D., and I don't know how to be a good daughter-in-law. Isn't it going to piss them off?

Yan Ran was also pissed off by her parents, and she was so angry that she didn't pay for her life. She directly said that she likes men, but doesn't like women at all, and it will not end well with her junior sister, so they should stop talking about it sooner or later.

This is good, Li Mei and Yan Tianhua entered a state of rage after being dumbfounded, beating and scolding Yan Ran, feeling that full of anticipation and enthusiasm raised a useless white-eyed wolf, but the two went to check Yan Ran's friends According to the situation, it was found that there were no male vixens around Yan Ran, but there were many female goblins. The two of them were not sure whether Yan Ran said that he was gay. But he was restless.

Yan Ran and his family got into a quarrel, so he simply chose the job he received that could send him to work in a remote prefecture-level city, and Yan Ran just ran away.

Li Mei and Yan Tianhua realized for the first time that they couldn't compete with their son, who was young and energetic, and could do whatever he wanted. Good job development is not good, especially if Yan Ran is really a gay man, going to mess with men in a remote place, and Yan Tianhua checked the place where Yan Ran is, and the HIV infection rate is not low, and the two are even more affected. Can't live.

Li Mei was worried and worried. In addition, she was in menopause, her hormones were not adjusted, and she fainted frequently. After further investigation, the uterine fibroids also grew very large in a short period of time, and it was even dangerous, so she decided to undergo surgery.

This operation is actually not considered a major operation, but Li Mei really missed her son, so she asked her husband to contact her son, pretending that she was going to the gate of hell. Feeling overwhelmed, he hurriedly asked for leave to go home to take care of Li Mei who was admitted to the hospital, and then transferred his work back to S City.

This time, both sides stopped, and they barely coexisted peacefully until now.

Yan Ran couldn't sleep, his feelings for Xiao Zichong, after more than ten years, still tormented him.

Yan Ran felt that he deserved it, that he couldn't fall asleep, that he deserved to be tortured by his feelings for Xiao Zichong and had a nervous breakdown.Obviously, as long as there is no love other than friendship for Xiao Zichong, the problem can be completely solved, and Xiao Zichong is not obliged to bear his Xiao Zichong's wish, but he can't do it.

You can't do it yourself, so you deserve the pain.

Yan Ran sighed in his heart.

If in the past, Yan Ran could only bear this pain alone, no one could tell, the advantage of getting older is that at a certain point in time, he can always meet friends who have everything to talk about.

Yan Ran has a lot of girlfriends who can talk about life, since they are girlfriends, they are all girls.

In fact, Yan Ran also has a lot of male friends, not to mention Jiang Kun, who still maintains a friendship that can "put a knife in both sides" for each other, but other classmates or fellow students in college or graduate school, the relationship is also very good , but these friends are basically all married, and most of them have children. These people run around every day to earn money and take care of their families. If they chat with their boyfriends for a while, the probability of being scolded by their wives is not small; Most of the brains and Yan Ran's way of thinking are also different, so Yan Ran has no intention of talking to them. If they do, almost none of these people can understand Yan Ran's delicate and sensitive mind, thinking that he is "unmarried and free".

Therefore, Yan Ran almost only talks to his girlfriends about emotional matters.

Yan Ran's apprentice, Xiao Yu, whose name is Li Tianyu, is especially like a boy's name. Her usual demeanor is indeed more like a boy than a girl. You can also carry a large bag of baby supplies when you hold a baby, and you are very manly in everything you do.But Yan Ran knew that she was a careful and steady girl, who possessed the outstanding qualities and charms that men rarely possess.

Xiaoyu is a graduate of the Sanben School of Yan Ran's university. Yan Ran called her "Student Girl". When he went to college to recruit people, Yan Ran was the team leader of their team. Xiaoyu was hard-working and careful, so she was recruited into the company, but the company stipulated that all new employees must go to the branch for training, and then choose the best to enter the headquarters.

Xiaoyu lived up to Yan Ran's expectations. After working in the branch for a year, he was successfully admitted to the headquarters, and became Yan Ran's apprentice under Yan Ran's subordinates.

In fact, Yan Ran only took Xiao Yu with him for a month, and Xiao Yu was able to work independently, and only asked Yan Ran when he encountered problems.

Probably Yan Ran's "very suitable for living together" trait attracted Xiao Yu, and Xiao Yu began to pursue Yan Ran.

Yan Ran is quite accurate in seeing people. Xiao Yu has been working beside him for half a year, and he basically has a clear understanding of Xiao Yu's situation.

Xiao Yu is not the only child in the family, besides her, there is also a younger brother.Xiao Yu has taken care of his younger brother since he was a child, so he is full of boyfriend power.Probably the family is too patriarchal, and Xiaoyu has never felt much family care since she was a child, so she especially yearns for a good life, and also has a belief in a serious life.This is also the reason why she is careful and always empathizes with others, and does not like to joke too much.

As soon as Yan Ran received Xiao Yu's pursuit, she was immediately dumbfounded, and then knew that she must not deceive Xiao Yu a little bit, otherwise the blow to Xiao Yu would be huge.

Yan Ran asked Xiao Yu out for dinner.

At that time, Xiao Yu was still called Senior Brother Yan Ran. She probably realized that Yan Ran was too serious in inviting her to dinner. This time, she either agreed to her pursuit or refused her pursuit, so she also seemed very serious.

Yan Ran told her directly that he likes men and has someone he always likes, which is why he always only pays attention to work and never talks about relationships.

Xiao Yu was hit hard, but she immediately realized that Yan Ran told her the truth, which was a great trust in her, a responsibility to her, and a friendship with her. Xiao Yu has since become Yan Ran's "Girlfriend".

In the company, and in the same department, having this kind of best friend, I have to say, is both dangerous and rare.

If it was Xiao Zichong, he was the kind of person who would never have any personal trust in the company's subordinates.

As long as you "want to get married and live", it is easy to achieve your wish, and Xiao Yu is such a person.

One year after Yan Ran rejected her, she married a simple and down-to-earth man who had pursued her before, and soon gave birth to a child.

After getting married and having children, Xiaoyu became more feminine. The relationship between her and Yan Ran has always been very good. Everyone knows that the two are brothers and sisters, minus the word "teacher", they are brothers and sisters.Xiaoyu's husband is not jealous of Yan Ran, so Xiaoyu and Yan Ran become best friends who talk about everything.

Yan Ran didn't know whether he wanted to make a decision in his heart, or he was just evasively making trouble, so he told Xiao Yu about his troubles.

Xiaoyu knows that Yan Ran likes his deskmate in high school, who is also his neighbor, a god of learning, a college student in b, a person who has received a full scholarship from a well-known university in country a to study abroad, and works in a company that people look up to.

In Yan Ran's heart, Xiao Zichong is naturally good at everything, so when he told Xiaoyu when he was depressed before, Xiaoyu learned from Yan Ran that Xiao Zichong was a perfect god, except Looking up, can't do anything else.At least Xiao Yu never thought that this kind of person would appear in his life, so for his senior brother to have always loved this kind of person, Xiao Yu felt that Yan Ran was really awesome, after all, most people would never fall in love with this kind of person secretly. For several years, I have been sticking to myself and not looking for another life match.If there are such people, they are either sick or out of their minds.

Xiaoyu has never been in the mood for joking, and took Yan Ran’s troubles seriously, and immediately replied to him, “Senior brother, you said that the Great God came to your house to chat with you all night, and when he left, he said that you sent me to you. I have a circle of friends who cook at home, so I suspected that you were going to get married, so I came to your house to see you, and he left when he found out that you were not married, right?"

Although Yan Ran told Xiao Yu about his feelings, he didn't tell Xiao Yu Xiao Zichong's name, so Xiao Yu only called Xiao Zichong "Great God".

Yan Ran replied with a "hmm" in a sluggish spirit.

Xiaoyu is indeed a person who does accounts well and does it quickly. He analyzed the matter in an orderly manner, and continued, "You just posted this circle of friends, and he came to your house immediately. This is really fast. Actually Well, if you fall in love and you get married, it has nothing to do with your god. Why did he come to your house to see? This is very strange. Even if he is afraid that you will get married first, he will not be able to explain it in front of his parents at home for fear of being urged If you are married, he can just call you or send you a WeChat message to ask you, but he actually flies to your house in person, and it is even more important to fly to your house when he has to go to work the next day. Strange, isn't it?"

"Yes." Yan Ran has always thought so, but he needs someone to cheer him up.

Xiao Yu: "Brother, I've been hearing you say that your family is a great god. I think he is a person with a strong purpose in both study and work. This kind of person should also be a person with a strong purpose in life. This kind of person with a strong purpose must have a purpose when he suddenly ran to your house to chat with you when he was about to go to work. And the purpose is not pure."

"Yes." Yan Ran continued to sigh, and thought, Xiao Yu is indeed his apprentice, and he said everything from his heart.

Xiao Yu: "He has a purpose, and it is impossible to deliberately waste time to chat with you. No matter what it is for, it must be because you have an unusual weight in his heart. Besides this, he is so good, you said He is very handsome, so there must be many women chasing him, but he has not dated or married so far, so maybe he is gay! Since he is gay, there is a high possibility that he likes you."

Yan Ran suppressed the word "yes" that he wanted to say in his heart, and said, "Based on what I know about him, he has been enthusiastic about doing things since he was a child. He has never been in love or married. It is more likely that he Too busy with work, no time to fall in love and get married. Maybe he wants to find a young girl to marry after he becomes famous, like Jay Chou and Kun Ling, it is also a good story."

Xiao Yu felt that it was not good for Yan Ran to continue to torture himself for his crush, and said, "Brother, I think you should actually test the Great God, no matter whether he is real or not, you can't keep shrinking in your shell like this. I will give You come up with an idea, you ask for leave to live with the Great God for a while, didn’t you say that the Great God is in City G, you say to travel, live in his house for a few days, you observe him every day to see if he is gay, if he is Yes, then you've liked him for so many years, and you won't suffer from just confessing like this, if not, then you come back, it's just a matter of mind, what do you think?"

In fact, Yan Ran thought so in his heart, but he was too timid, so encouraged by Xiao Yu, he thought it was a good idea, so he agreed.