Grandpa doesn't eat your shit

Gu Jianghe couldn't help frowning when he heard Zhou Ya say that he was going to drop out of school.

He was silent for a while, and asked Zhou Ya why.

Zhou Ya talked a lot, such as poor grades, the old man's physical inconvenience, and the theory that reading is useless, and finally said that being ordinary is rare and contentment is always happy.

When it comes to the back, the more I talk, the less confident I am.

Gu Jianghe looked at him harshly, which made him cowardly.

These thoughts have turned in his mind many times, and he has been thinking this way, convincing himself.

When I really said it to Gu Jianghe, I realized that I was very pale and weak.

Gu Jianghe asked him: "Then what are you going to do to support yourself in the future?"

"Growing the fields," Zhou Ya smiled, reluctantly, and couldn't hold back the smile after pulling the corner of her mouth.So he quickly lowered his head again, not wanting Gu Jianghe to see his expression, and pretending to be calm, "I think I'm quite talented, you see, my water spinach is not very juicy."

"How much money can I make growing vegetables?" Gu Jianghe asked again.

Zhou Ya has considered this. Although he can't earn much money, he can support himself and be self-sufficient. He thinks it's okay.

"Oh," Gu Jianghe replied after listening to him, "Then what should I do if I need money when I'm sick?"

Without waiting for Zhou Ya to answer, he continued to ask: "If you are sick, you just wait to die? How do you bury him? Your grandfather is old, what if he dies? Burials are not allowed now. Can you afford the money for cremation?" Can you afford a cemetery? What if he's sick and alive? Will you serve people, can you afford to die?"

Zhou Ya's face became more and more stiff when he said it, but he ignored it and said aggressively: "Ordinary is precious? If you are old enough, you have gone through the wind and rain, and you have an epiphany when you are old, I think you are open-minded. More than ten You are ordinary and precious here? This life has just begun, and you have come to an end?"

"But I have indeed reached the end!" Zhou Ya growled, her eyes flushed, "Where can I go? Where can I go? I consider myself unlucky and willing to resign myself to fate. What do you want me to do?" manage?"

Gu Jianghe also realized that his tone of voice was a bit too much, so he took a deep breath, slowed down, and tried to reason with Zhou Ya.

"You're only 17 years old. You haven't started your life yet. Where did you end? Just because of where you are now?" Gu Jianghe asked him, "Zhou Shuran grew up in this place. At the beginning, no one thought of him Will be replaced, he hasn’t felt that he has stopped here for more than ten years, you have only been here for a month and you feel that you have taken root here?”

As he spoke, he became angry again: "Don't read the book, want to stay at home and farm? Are you making a choice? You are simply escaping!"

"What's wrong with me escaping? Did I break the law!" Zhou Ya couldn't help crying after being told by him, wiped away her tears, and choked up, shouting, "Zhou Shuran is awesome! Can I be trash?!"

Gu Jianghe didn't mean that, and his brows furrowed even more upon hearing this.

He was about to say something, Zhou Ya slapped away his hand that was about to hand him a tissue, and said, "Don't touch me!"

After speaking, he stood up and rushed out.

He ran so fast that Gu Jianghe didn't even realize it. When he wanted to catch him, he had already run out.

Gu Jianghe followed, he had already stepped on his bicycle and ran away.

Gu Jianghe shouted at him: "Zhou Ya!"

Zhou Ya turned a deaf ear.

Zhou Ya didn't know where she was going, she just knew that she didn't want to watch Gu Jianghe here anymore.

He pedaled the wheels very fast, and he ran a long distance in a short while.

He rode to the pond where Gu Jianghe was riding, and then he slowed down, thinking in his heart that what if Gu Jianghe drove over.

He didn't want to see Gu Jianghe now, so he turned his head and went up the mountain.

As I walked, I began to think in my heart.

Zhou Shuran, Zhou Shuran, Zhou Shuran is everywhere.

Zhou Ya couldn't help but hate him a little bit.

When he heard Gu Jianghe say that Zhou Shuran was fine, he couldn't help feeling resentful in his heart. Zhou Shuran's appearance took away everything from him at once.

But as soon as this thought came out, he remembered again, it wasn't Zhou Shuran who robbed him of his things, but he took over everything that belonged to Zhou Shuran.

So more resentment.

Blaming himself for being incompetent, being humble everywhere, and blaming himself for being narrow-minded, acting good when he got a bargain.

Gu Jianghe said that he gave up on himself after coming here, but it was not true, he has never had a direction in life.

I don't know what I want to do, what I can do.

Living in a daze.

When I was there before, I always thought, whatever, just go with the flow, you can always survive.

Of course there is some resentment, more of a hesitation.

I feel like a rickety boat in the sea, I can't see the lighthouse, I can't find the direction, I don't know where I came from, and I don't know where I'm going.Where is the shore?can not see.

I can only tell myself, just muddle through, there is always a way out of life.

Originally, I thought that I would spend my whole life in such a daze, but in the end, something unexpected happened.

First, before taking the exam, his adoptive father suddenly discovered his sexual orientation.

The adoptive father didn't understand this, and he didn't have the idea of ​​understanding it.

After finding out, Zhou Ya was beaten up directly.

Maybe it's the idea of ​​"if the child is disobedient, he will be honest after a beating", right?

While beating, I asked him, should I change it?

How to change it?

Can't change it.

Zhou Ya was also stubborn at first, when his father beat him, he yelled at his father.

The louder he yelled, the harder his father beat him.

Zhou Ya burst into tears of pain, and said to him there: "You can beat me to death if you have the ability!"

His father couldn't help being excited, he dared to threaten me when he heard about this baby?So it was even more ruthless.

Zhou's father said it was a pervert, so Zhou Ya replied to him, saying that a perverted father gave birth to a perverted son, and that I am a perverted you are no fun.

Then he was beaten until his nose was bruised and his face was swollen, and he was locked in the bedroom, saying when he figured it out and when he would let you out.

Can Zhou Ya figure it out?

Of course I can't figure it out.

Sexuality is innate, and it's not his fault.

So he stubbornly climbed the window to escape, and was caught by Zhou's father as soon as he ran to the gate of the community.

Furious, Father Zhou picked up a stick next to him and whipped it at Zhou Ya.

The stick was a rusty iron pipe next to the trash can, and the surface was still damaged. He pulled the stick down, and the sharp part protruding from the damaged place directly pierced Zhou Ya's arm.

Zhou's father lost all his strength, and directly pushed Zhou Ya to the ground.

Seeing Zhou Ya lying on the ground, he rushed forward and was about to hit him again. When Zhou Ya cried out for pain and said that he was bleeding, he realized that Zhou Ya's arm was punctured, and then he realized that what he was holding was wrong.

He was always very strict with Zhou Ya, but this was the first time he did it.

It was neither serious nor serious, Father Zhou himself was startled, as soon as he threw the stick, he hugged Zhou Ya's arm in a panic.

So he was rushed to the hospital, where he received a wound injection and a blood test.

Zhou's mother rushed over, crying anxiously, and asked what happened and who hit it.

Zhou Ya lay on the hospital bed without saying a word.

Father Zhou admitted it himself, saying that he did it.

So the two couples had a quarrel in front of his hospital bed.

Lying on the bed, Zhou Ya thought she was deaf and blind, since she didn't see, hear or speak anyway.

Zhou Ya's father's discovery of his sexual orientation was beyond Zhou Ya's expectation, and it happened suddenly, so it became a farce.

When he finally rested, he began to think about what to do?

He never thought about coming out of the closet before, but the closet has already been out, and he can't go back, so what should he do?Is it possible to convince Father Zhou?

Before he could come up with a solution, he learned that he and his parents were not biological.

Zhou's father found out that it was a wrong hug, so he sneered at Zhou Ya, which meant that I knew I couldn't give birth to a pervert like you.

Under the eaves, Zhou Ya could only accept those words.

He was beaten up to look scary and scared the teacher when he went to school.

It also aroused discussion among classmates.

It's not a nice thing to say anyway.

Being aggrieved at school is even more uncomfortable when I go home.

Aggrieved, helpless, at a loss, afraid, and some unspeakable resentment towards my parents.

Zhou Ya has not been able to get out of that emotion until now.

Gu Jianghe said he was running away, but what if he didn't run away?

He couldn't keep himself stuck in that mess of confusion, could he?

He also wants to solve the problem, but what is the solution?

Can reading solve problems?

Just like the old man, he doesn't look like a person who will live a long and healthy life.

To put it bluntly, maybe he hasn't graduated yet, and the old man should be gone.

And where does the money for studying come from?What else can he learn?

It's not that Zhou Ya doesn't want to work hard, hard work has to be useful, right?

As far as his academic performance is concerned, he has worked hard this year, so what can he achieve?In the end it was a waste of time and money.

He thought about it based on the reality, the most reliable thing is actually not to think too highly of himself, and just live in this ravine with peace of mind for a lifetime.

There is no way out, no future in sight.

What else can you do but compromise with reality?

Easier said than done.

Zhou Ya leaned against the big tree, looked down the mountain, and thought bitterly.

Isn't Gu Jianghe himself just dawdling in the countryside?What qualifications do you have to say about me?

Why can he choose this path by himself, and I choose to escape from reality?Just because Zhou Shuran has a bright heart, if I can't be as good as him, am I guilty?

Zhou Ya leaned against the tree until her back became stiff, so she squatted down.

He grabbed a handful of grass on the ground.

Maybe it's because I'm too unloving?That's why everyone doesn't like him.

Zhou Ya felt like a self-made sentimental ball, being kicked around by others, and everyone didn't want to keep him, and he was still planning his own future with those people's participation.

It turns out that no one wants to be with him, and he can't find his way to the future.

It's so embarrassing.

Like a clown who puts on a farce and no one watches.

The more Zhou Ya thought about it, the sadder she became, and the tears fell down uncontrollably. While scolding himself as a crybaby in his heart, he kept wiping away his tears.

At the beginning, I was full of grievances, and let myself cry presumptuously, the more I cried, the more sad I became.

After crying until his temples began to swell and ache, he opened his mouth wide, took a big breath in, and then panted heavily to calm down.

The scenes and characters in his head flowed one by one, grandpa, adoptive parents, classmates, teachers, friends on the Internet, fans, and the old man, and Gu Jianghe.

These people went back and forth in his mind, but he couldn't come up with an excuse for him to comfort himself.

Especially when I think of my grandfather, I feel very sad.

I finally stopped crying, because of this, I didn’t turn up in one breath, a desperate wail surged in my chest, and I was choked in my throat again, only a short sound was made, and then there was a hoarse and silent cry Shout and roar.

He didn't yell, but he yelled almost with all his strength, his throat made a rustling sound, as if he had wiped the wall with sandpaper, his face was flushed, and the veins on his forehead were bulging.

After screaming vigorously, he covered his face and eyes with his hands, took a long breath, and exhaled it slowly trembling.

The eyeballs were crying until they were dehydrated and dry, and even the eyelids were itchy and sore.

Zhou Ya wiped the tears from her face, whimpered and took out the toilet paper from her pocket, blew her nose hard, then closed her eyes and leaned against the big tree to calm down.

His chest heaved slowly and heavily as he breathed, he choked once in a while, and took a deep breath quickly to calm himself down.

After a long time, feeling better, I opened my eyes and looked down the mountain.

The mountain was very quiet, at noon, not a single person could be seen.

Birds sang and answered each other in the forest, the sound sounded from one side, and the other side echoed the sound, the shadows of the trees whirled, and the leaves were blown by the wind.

Zhou Ya focused her attention on hearing, listening carefully to the wind and birdsong, feeling the warm touch of Xia Feng on her face, and gradually, finally felt the tranquility.

After an unknown amount of time, Zhou Ya was about to close his eyes in this comfortable atmosphere. Suddenly, the sound of a car horn sounded, which startled him a lot. He opened his eyes in a panic, and looked down the mountain.

Gu Jianghe's pickup truck came from the direction of the village entrance.