Pseudo-white lotus survival diary

Lin Qingye trembled, recovering from that state of excitement.He shook his hand calmly, trying to shake off Dou Yang's hand, but the hand that Dou Yang grabbed him was very strong and he couldn't shake it off.

Lin Qingye was a little surprised, because he had been with Dou Yang for so long, he knew that Dou Yang was a very gentle person, he would never force others to do anything, if he insisted, he would obey his will.And Dou Yang himself is very shy, although they claim to be a couple, so far, neither of them has done any intimate things.What can be called the most intimate thing is just a hug, even if there is a hug, as long as Lin Qingye expresses a reluctant attitude, Dou Yang will stop immediately.

Because of this, Dou Yang suddenly grabbed Lin Qingye's hand, and despite Lin Qingye's unwilling attitude, he still insisted on interlocking his fingers, which was particularly surprising.

"Dou Yang." Lin Qingye couldn't help but speak.

Since it is not implied, it can only be changed to express.

Dou Yang also seemed to know that he couldn't pretend to be stupid, so he turned his head and stared at Lin Qingye silently.He didn't say a word, but there was a look of expectation and tenderness in those pale eyes.

It was an irresistible, wet look similar to that of a large dog. If one knew his personality, no one could resist such a look.

Lin Qingye's heart skipped a beat.

The sun on the mountains in the distance has already exposed its entire face from the clouds, bright red like a ruby ​​hanging in the blue sky, and the orange sunlight warms everything in the world.

This scene is infinitely beautiful.

Lin Qingye took a deep breath, and said cautiously, "Dou Yang, I have something to tell you."

"Hush..." Dou Yang suddenly put his index finger on his lips, signaling Lin Qingye not to speak, "Wait a little longer, wait a little longer..."

As soon as he interrupted, the courage that had gathered with great difficulty dissipated again.

Then wait a little longer.

About 10 minutes later, the sun has come out completely, red and bright.

The tourists on the top of the mountain cheered bursts.

Lin Qingye was thinking about picking an appropriate time to speak, but suddenly heard a voice from the side, so soft that only those standing beside him could hear it.

"Qing Ye, I like you very much, very, very much, do you... like me?"

Lin Qingye felt the hand holding her tighten slightly, and the strength made her fingers ache slightly.

Such an unconscious reaction made Lin Qingye realize that Dou Yang was nervous, and very nervous.

Saying I like it, but nervous...

Just like an adolescent child, facing the person he likes, muster up the courage to confess, his heart is beating wildly, and his nerves are tense.

It's cute and touching.

At this moment, Lin Qingye's heart suddenly softened, and he began to hesitate whether to tell him the truth.

"I..." Lin Qingye paused, thinking about how to speak.

He wanted to lie like before and say that I like you very much, but looking at those clear eyes that reflected the sunrise and the blue sky, he couldn't say anything.

Lying to Dou Yang is like committing a crime.

Dou Yang is such a good person, he should not be treated like this.

For a moment, Lin Qingye was caught in a dilemma. On the one hand, he was afraid of hurting Dou Yang, and on the other hand, he couldn't bear to deceive him.No matter which choice he makes, he will hurt the person in front of him, which makes him feel very guilty.

Probably after being silent for too long, Dou Yang's originally expectant expression gradually dimmed. He turned his head and said softly, "Why don't you answer? Even if you lie to me, it's fine."

"I..." Lin Qingye opened his mouth, but his throat felt dry and astringent.

what?

Why did Dou Yang say that?

Dou Yang suddenly laughed at himself, stared at the red sun in the distance, and said, "Aren't you even willing to lie to me now?"

"Dou Yang..."

The conversation was beyond Lin Qingye's expectation, and even the most nervous people could feel the disappointment in Dou Yang's heart.But this is very strange, because before Lin Qingye and Dou Yang got along very happily, they were full of trust and comfort, no matter how you looked at it, they were full of love, why did Dou Yang say such words, as if he had Did you know that Lin Qingye didn't like him?

"I can tell that you don't like me." Dou Yang seemed to read something from his expression, and explained, "Since you were scared by me and ran out of my house that time, the relationship between us I can feel that you don't like me..."

"No, I wasn't frightened by you... Well, I was frightened before, but after I knew the reason, I wasn't frightened at all." Lin Qingye quickly explained, "I actually like you a lot. ,only……"

What Dou Yang was talking about was the time he chased Lin Qingye with a kitchen knife, but Lin Qingye really didn't dislike him because of this...

"I know." Dou Yang smiled, "It's just that you have no feelings for me. What you like about me is not what my lover likes me."

This cannot be denied, Lin Qingye remained silent.

He struggled for so long before, what method should be used to say the three words "dislike", but in the end he found that it was Dou Yang who proposed it on his own initiative.

Dou Yang is a painter. The painter survives with his sixth sense. He may not know that he is a person who has time-traveled at the beginning, but his intuition and inspiration let him feel that his feelings for him are different from before. up.

Having said all this, Lin Qingye let out a sigh of relief and nodded, "I'm sorry."

"Don't say I'm sorry, there is no right or wrong in the world of feelings." Dou Yang was very calm, "I have already found out that something is wrong with you, but many times I am afraid that I guessed wrong. Don't ask you personally, a lot of things happened later, and I changed my mind again."

"Even though you don't like me, and you don't know why you came to me, but you really helped me and gave me a chance to be reborn. I will never forget it in my life. Sometimes I think , are you an angel sent by heaven to save me? You came to me and pretended to like me, but you actually did it to save me. If that’s the case, don’t worry about those previous things.”

He showed a bright smile and turned his head, "Qing Ye, let the past things go with the wind, let it go, it doesn't matter if you didn't like me before, from today..."

He paused, his face slowly turned red, "Can you try to like me?"

It was the first time Lin Qingye heard Dou Yang express his heart so clearly, every word he said was like a small hammer, gently hitting his heart.

Dou Yang is really nice...

I really can't lie to him anymore.

Lin Qingye's heart was filled with warmth and sorrow that was about to be full.

Say it.

Say it all.

He said to himself in his heart, made up his mind.

"Dou Yang, you may not know that I approached you for money." Lin Qingye took a deep breath and said, "I have been lying to you since the beginning, and I am not the person you are looking for at all."

Hearing this sentence, Dou Yang was really stunned, "What?"

"I said..." The most important sentence has been said, and the rest will be smoother, "I am not the person you want to find, the person who saved you when you were young, and someone else..."

Lin Qingye said it very clearly, clearly, and beyond doubt.

A breeze blows.

Slowly let go of Lin Qingye's hand.

Dou Yang took a step back with an unbelievable expression on his face, "Qing Ye, are you joking?"

Seeing the shock in his eyes, Lin Qingye's heart twisted into a ball, and it was difficult to breathe.

"I don't make jokes about this kind of thing." Lin Qingye said with a hoarse voice, "When you issued a notice saying that you were going to find the person who rescued you from the elementary school, I became ill when I saw the notice. At that time, my family owed a huge amount of money. Debt, desperate, I pretended to be that person to lie to you, I have only one purpose, I want to borrow money from you... This is the truth. I am not an angel, let alone come to you to save you, I am A hypocrite who impersonates others for money!"

Lin Qingye said a lot in one breath, a little out of breath.

After a pause, he tremblingly asked Dou Yang: "Will you still like me now? Do you like such a person who pretends to be someone else for money?"

"Qing Ye..." Dou Yang murmured.

"You still don't believe it, do you?" Lin Qingye's eyes were red. "Actually, it's very simple to confirm the truth. You just need to ask someone, which elementary school I went to when I was young."

He spread his hands helplessly, "Every time you let me sit in the studio wearing that school uniform and draw, I always say in my heart, ah, sorry, I'm not from this elementary school..."

"Qing Ye..." The expression on Dou Yang's face changed from shock to surprise, and then to something similar to sadness.

He came over and hugged Lin Qingye, "Don't cry, don't cry... I know you are sad, you didn't mean it."

don't cry?

Lin Qingye thought, did I cry?

He reached out to wipe the corners of his eyes, and the warm liquid dripped onto the back of his hand.

Strange, I actually cried...

Lin Qingye felt incredible.

"Don't be sad, I know you are not that kind of person..." Dou Yang said.

Feeling the warmth of the people around him, Lin Qingye suddenly became very angry, pushed Dou Yang away, and said loudly: "I am that kind of person! You have to tell me several times before you believe me, I came to you for money. Beside!"

He wiped away his tears fiercely, "Come on, scold me, hit me!"

This is not the result he wanted.

If Dou Yang scolded him for beating him, he would feel better, but he actually comforted himself.

Why should he comfort himself?

Simply incomprehensible!

"You're not like that, I know."

The morning wind, passing through the mountains, raised Dou Yang's hair.

The sunlight from the sky cast a warm orange halo on his face, just like the angels in those church paintings.

Lin Qingye stared at him blankly.

"Qing Ye, don't get excited." Dou Yang comforted softly, "I know what you said."

Lin Qingye was speechless.

Things are a little weird right now.Before going up the mountain, what Lin Qingye was most worried about was that after telling the truth, he would stimulate Dou Yang and make Dou Yang sick.He thought of a hundred possible situations, each of which was about how he would respond if Dou Yang was stimulated and reacted violently, but he never thought that he was the one who was excited, and Dou Yang was the calm one.

The world is impermanent, it is so unexpected.

Probably the sound was a bit loud just now, and some people on the mountain heard the movement and turned their heads to look at the two of them curiously.

Lin Qingye realized that he had lost his composure, so he stood still and adjusted his breathing.

The inexplicable intense emotion quickly subsided, he took a deep breath, and said calmly, "Dou Yang, since it was fake from the beginning, then our relationship will end here."

Dou Yang was startled, "Do you want to break up?"

Lin Qingye smiled wryly, "Our relationship was fake from the very beginning, the person you really want hasn't appeared yet, maybe he's waiting for you somewhere in this city..."

"What if I say I don't mind?"

Lin Qingye was stunned.

He said he doesn't mind?

Why don't you mind?

The heart seemed to be held by something, twitching and curling up.

The eye sockets are a little hot again.

"You actually mind." Lin Qingye said, "With such a thing, even if we are together in the future, there will always be a bone stuck in your throat. Once there is a conflict between us, this matter will make you feel uncomfortable. You can't breathe."

"I said I wouldn't mind if I didn't mind." Dou Yang still insisted, with a gentle voice.

The attitude is also very firm.

Lin Qingye closed her eyes.

After a while, he said: "Okay, even if you don't mind this, let me tell you, during the time I was dating you, I actually dated other people, do you mind?"