my high math teacher

One day in May, we started military training.According to common sense, military training should be held in the first two weeks of freshmen's school, but who told us to catch up with the special period?

Zheng X spent 150 yuan to buy a two-month-old puppy from the flower, bird and fish market. It is white, a very ordinary grass dog, but it is very cute.Especially for people like me who like all cute things, it is even more overwhelming.

As for Zheng X, she always dislikes dirty dogs, and is only willing to hug her when she is wearing military training uniforms.Therefore, Er Pang spends most of the time with me.

Speaking of Erpang, Zheng X actually named it Tangtang, but Brother Rui in the dormitory saw him and kept calling him Erpang.I didn't like the name very much at first, I thought it was too vulgar.However, I called it more times, and I think this name is very cute, so Zheng X often looks at me with a displeased face.

One day, because of the rain, we happily returned to the dormitory after standing in military posture for half an hour.And Erpang was carried to Jia Ge's bedroom by me to play again, and then I learned that Yang JJ broke up with her boyfriend.

The photo of me hugging Erpang was sent to Yang JJ by Jia Ge, which immediately attracted her attention and insisted that I carry the dog to her to play with.

After all, Erpang is not mine, and she is only two months old, and it is relatively cold outside.However, I really couldn't refuse her.

I took out a thicker dress and wrapped Erpang well, and then I set off to find her in the dormitory on the mountain.

She was very surprised when I suddenly appeared with my dog ​​in my arms, and no one would dislike such a cute dog.

After staying for a while, she and another roommate were going to take a shower, and then I followed them down the hill to the dormitory.Er Fatty was also brought back intact by me.

While eating, I was startled by the sudden sound of rain outside.Because, they don't seem to bring an umbrella when they go to the shower!The first thought that flashed in my mind was to give her an umbrella, but I don't know how long it will take for them to take a bath, have they already left?

After contacting her roommate, I basically learned that she probably hasn't finished washing yet.Well, it is necessary to send an umbrella, but it is not enough.

Hastily cut up a few pieces of melon and went to the bath to find her.Then received her reply, they are eating in the cafeteria.

As soon as I stepped into the cafeteria, I saw them. They ordered a dish and ate steamed buns.

After bathing, she is even more beautiful.While she was eating, I enjoyed admiring her perfect profile.And my melons no doubt please her.

It's been a long time since we talked together like this.Her breakup this time undoubtedly ignited my fighting spirit again, yes, I want to chase her back.

Walking side by side under umbrellas in the rain is definitely the closest we've ever been.

Very satisfying, even dreaming will wake up with a smile.

Since then, during military training, my eyes will always glance towards their phalanx on the left.The color of her camouflage uniform is relatively bright, and it is easy to identify it in the crowd.

I will also go to her when I am resting and talk to her.I will go out of my way to buy ice cream for her to eat.

I don't know if all I do will bring me closer to her, I only know that all of this is what I do voluntarily.I like her and I want to be with her.

However, at noon on the day the military training ended, I saw a scene I least wanted to see.She and her boyfriend walked in front of me holding hands, completely unaware of what kind of mood I was walking behind.

The first thing I do when I go back to bed is to delete her QQ, I want to cry, but I can't cry.I don't know why, I never seem to shed tears because of emotional matters, and I am indeed a person with a relatively low tear point.Because, on May 5th, Er Fatty died, and I buried him with my own hands.At noon that day, my eyes were swollen from crying, and the tears couldn't stop at all.

Lele, who lives next door, said that they had been reunited for several days, and it was at the singer competition that day.He sang "Goodbye, Miss Meow" to her, and they got back together.

Heh, such a touching drama would actually happen in real life.

So, Yang JJ, we finally completely became strangers.This time, I really gave up.I won't say a word to her again, even if she breaks up a thousand times or ten thousand times, it doesn't matter to me anymore.

Saying goodbye to Yang JJ, my emotional focus has completely shifted to Min Min.The love for Minmin has always been there, but the enthusiasm for Yang JJ overshadowed her.

Minmin's birthday is in the winter vacation, so last Christmas I gave her birthday presents, a picture, a pillow with Fan Bingbing on it, and chocolates.

Now, she often prepares some fruit for her in class.As for Minmin, occasionally she would give me some snacks in return.Maybe that way she won't feel indebted to me.

I'll buy her medicine for her cold, and I don't care if it's expensive or not, I only buy good ones.

But my feelings have never been answered.Minmin is so smart, if we get closer a little bit, she will take a step back and open the distance between us again.Such a woman makes me feel very tired and hard.

Unlike Yang JJ, she and I are not in the same major after all, and we have almost no chance to meet except for the public classes that are arranged together.But with Minmin, I don't see her at all.Whenever I see her inadvertently, I still have a sweet feeling of elation.It's just that I'm trying to suppress this feeling.

Before I knew it, it was June 6th, and I saw the news that homosexuality was legal across the United States.I am happy with such things.But think about it, even if homosexuality is legal in China one day, but I don’t have a girlfriend to marry, what’s the difference?After all, it's not that I'm not good enough.

Exams are over and summer vacation is coming.I haven't finished my driver's license test yet, and I'm busy again this summer vacation.

Dad's sudden return to China disrupted my originally peaceful vacation.Because of the lack of communication, we would quarrel if we couldn't say three words.I'm not a person who likes to fight, but he is.

This holiday was very unhappy, and my dad also said that I would limit my living expenses from the next semester.

Thoughts of suicide came flooding back.

I still remember that the first time I had such an idea was in the third grade of junior high school.At that time, my grades were falling all the way. Although I worked harder and harder, these efforts were not reflected in the grades.Just after I failed a mock exam one after another, I received a call from my mother. Her words were extremely cruel...

My hard work was not rewarded, and I, who was already lost, would be stabbed with a knife by my close relatives.And what my mother said, every sentence poked at the apex of my heart.

It was after that phone call that I had suicidal thoughts.

The scary thing is that this idea has never stopped until now.

One night, I was taking a bath.The body was immersed in warm water, and my heart was full of grievances.Just now, Dad humiliated me again.My parents were not around since I was a child, and I was originally a strong person.However, he destroyed my self-confidence and my strength time and time again.My tears are worthless in his eyes, on the contrary it will make him look down on me even more.

However, apart from crying, I have no other way to vent.Or, is to die.

Wrapped in warm water, I still feel cold.Cold to the bone.

For so many years, no one has really understood the pain in my heart.All of them, I am fighting alone.But in their eyes, I am still a disobedient child.

Unconsciously, I fantasized about suicide again.This time, instead of jumping off a building as in the past, he cut his wrists.

With that beautiful white diamond knife I just got, I slashed down hard on the wrist of my left hand.

Blood gushes like a fountain...

My tears flow like a fountain...

It's like, I really took that beautiful knife and slashed across my wrist...

Such a real picture... so real that I burst into tears and couldn't restrain myself...

Over the years, I have always been thinking about a question, if I die, will the world be better?And can I really feel happy?