Forced to pretend to be a scum in the text

Chen Yu didn't want to live, and thought he was really dead.

He never thought that he could still open his eyes, see things, and hear voices.

—he is still alive.

Staring blankly at one position, he emptied himself, and many memories that did not belong to him flooded his mind. He knew that these memories belonged to another Chen Yu.

The Chen Yu who took his place and lived in another world.

So, did he also live in this world instead of that Chen Yu?

Chen Yu sat up slowly, hugged his legs, and looked out of the window, quietly looking at the blue sky, motionless, lost in thought.

Suddenly, he felt someone tug on his sleeve.

He came back to his senses and bowed his head.

A seven or eight-year-old girl with ponytails looked at him, holding a thousand paper cranes in her palm, "For you."

Chen Yu took the paper crane and asked her suspiciously, "Why did you give it to me?"

"You're sick and unhappy."

The little girl shook her head and flicked her ponytail, "Mom said that the paper crane can take away the illness and make people happy, so I'll give it to you."

After finishing speaking, she bounced and ran away, sat down in front of the first hospital bed after entering the door, and continued to origami cranes.

There was a woman lying on that hospital bed. The woman was wearing a wool cap, her face was pale and bloodless, but she still looked at the girl tenderly.

Noticing Chen Yu's gaze, the woman raised her head and smiled at Chen Yu.

Holding the paper crane, Chen Yu was stunned for a few seconds before nodding to the other party.

After a while, a woman whose eyes were red and swollen from crying came in. Seeing that Chen Yu had woken up, she was surprised and delighted, and walked quickly to the bed, "Little Yu, are you awake?"

Chen Yu didn't speak, just looked at her.

He recognized that the woman was Li Si, Chen Yu's mother in this world.

She cried again, tears falling like money, "You're blaming mom, aren't you? But little Yu, why don't you understand me, I—"

"I understand."

After interrupting her, Chen Yu looked away and repeated, "I understand."

"I know that the failed marriage with your father made you very scared, and you were afraid of being abandoned again, so you have catered to your stepfather and the others for so many years, kept a low profile, and even ignored me.

I'm in pain and you make me understand you, I'm sick and you make me understand you, and now, I'm almost dying and you make me understand you too.

Well, then I understand you, and I understand you, so be it, there is nothing to say. "

Li Si was stunned, all words were blocked, she raised her eyes in a panic, but met a pair of indifferent eyes without any emotion.

"you……"

Chen Yu had no expression on his face, and his tone was very light, "It's time for you to pick up your brother, he's about to leave school."

He is not the Chen Yu of this world.

I don't want to continue to be trapped in this illusory, meaningless family relationship.

Li Si bit her lip with a pale face. She didn't leave, but she subconsciously looked at the watch on her wrist.

Chen Yu saw this action.

With a mocking smile, he touched the paper crane, put the paper crane on the bedside, lay down again, and ignored Li Si again.

Chen Yu spent two weeks in the hospital.

The day before he was discharged from the hospital, Xiao Shiqi appeared in his dream and told him the reason for his rebirth, and also told him about Fang Shuzhi's punishment, Ji Juan's rediscovery of happiness, and her remarriage.

Finally, Xiao Shiqi expressed Jiang Yuan's gratitude.

After Chen Yu woke up, he was very quiet.

He lay on his back, didn't move for a long time, and changed his position, as if he fell asleep again.

Suddenly, "What are you thinking?"

It's a female voice.

Chen Yu took away the arm covering his eyes, followed the sound to look for it, and saw the mother of the little girl who gave him the paper crane standing by the window, looking sideways at him.

Thinking of the other party's physical condition, Chen Yu frowned, and immediately got off the bed to push the wheelchair.

"Sit down."

After being in the same ward for two weeks, he already knew that the woman was called Shen Li. She had terminal cancer, and even chemotherapy would not cure her.

"Thank you." She sat down without refusing.

Just sit in the sun.

Lifting her face and enjoying the sunshine for a while, Shen Li turned to Chen Yu again, with a gentle expression on her pale face, "Your eyes are empty, there is nothing, I have seen a person who has the same eyes as yours.

Then, not long after, he committed suicide by jumping from the sixth floor and died instantly. "

Chen Yu sat on the edge of the bed, the hospital gown was wide and covered him, making him even thinner, the wrist exposed from the cuff, the skin was white and transparent, "What do you want to say?"

"When I saw you, it was as if I saw the child I couldn't save back then." She laughed again, "And my daughter likes you very much, she said you were very unhappy, so she secretly folded a lot of paper cranes for you, Ready to give it to you."

Thinking of that little girl, Chen Yu finally had a smile on his face.

"Would you like to tell me, if you can?"

Shen Li has an aura that can make people relax. She looks at you quietly, with a warm smile just right on the corner of her mouth, and she will think of someone close to her, whom she can trust and want to talk to.

Chen Yu will be discharged from the hospital today.

But he is at a loss for the future, and he doesn't know how to live in the future.

It doesn't mean that in life, he has all the memories of Chen Yu in this world, so even his worst study is not a problem.

The reason for his confusion lies in himself.

So far, he has not found the motivation and direction to live.

He used to walk alone in the dark, unable to see the light, let alone the future, but now, he has left that time and space.

Those who hurt him have also been punished.

But, in this new time and space, what is he going to do?What do you want to do again?

He is still very sad.

Open your eyes and close your eyes, it's just a day.

Sitting on the hospital bed with legs curled up, Chen Yu hugged his legs with his hands, rested his chin on his knees, and said slowly, "I don't know what to do."

"I thought I was going to die."

"I thought at the time, I'm finally free, and I don't have to keep trying to live."

"I'm sad and scared."

"Many people say that after dying once, they will understand many things and cherish life even more, but I am at a loss."

Chen Yu stretched out his right hand, spread his five fingers, and closed them again, only to catch a ball of air, "Just like this, I can't catch anything."

Tilting his head, Chen Yu's eyes fell on Shen Li again, like a lost child, "Say, what should I do?"

Shen Li looked at Chen Yu tenderly with loving eyes.

She stood up, walked to the bed, stroked Chen Yu's hair lightly, pulled him up, and walked out into the sun.

They were standing in front of the window, the sun was shining, and it was even a bit dazzling, but Shen Li pulled him and made him stand.

"What does it feel like to bask in the sun?"

Chen Yu didn't understand the meaning of Shen Li's question, so he replied, "It's very warm."

After a pause, he frowned again, "Summer is very hot."

Shen Li smiled, "Yes."

"Look at the people below. Do you think that each of them has goals and ideals?"

Chen Yu shook his head.

"Then what are you afraid of? In fact, many people are dazed and mediocre. When they were young, they might have dreams, just like when teachers and parents asked what they wanted to do when they grew up, they would answer that they wanted to do something. As scientists/teachers, etc., when they grow up, they will feel that they must be admitted to Peking University and Tsinghua University with top grades in the future, but in fact, most of them just want to, but fail to do so.

Then it became more and more ordinary, more and more mediocre, and disappeared from everyone.

So what do you think they should do? "

Shen Li said, "The answer is, there is nothing to do. Day by day, they live day by day, and one day, they will find what they want to do, or find someone they like."

Chen Yu pursed his lips and frowned.

Shen Li turned her head, "I don't know what is the reason why you don't want to continue living, but I know that it must be unacceptable for you and you will fall into darkness.

But people actually want to live, and you must want to too.

It's just that when you are in the most painful and uncomfortable time, you still move forward alone, and no one can give you a hand.

Tired, tired, want to escape. "

Shen Li looked at Chen Yu with kind eyes, and said word by word: "But, don't always expect others to save you, people must learn to save themselves."

Chen Yu murmured, "Save yourself?"

Shen Li said: "Let's set a small goal for a stage, and after completing one, make the next one. In order to complete these goals, you have to live, don't you?

As long as you are alive, one day you will stop being confused and find what you really want to do and the person you want to be with. "

Chen Yu remained silent, quietly watching the crowd coming and going downstairs.

For a long time, he smiled.

"Thank you, Miss Shen."

In the afternoon, Chen Yu took the little girl and gave him a box of paper cranes, bid farewell to their mother and daughter, and left the hospital.

Chen Yu always remembered Shen Li's words.

He bought a notebook and used it to formulate goals.

The first goal is to go to university.

The second goal is to make at least one friend at school.

The third goal is to play games with friends.

The fourth goal is to find a city and travel.

……

Senior three, freshman, sophomore, junior, senior.

Five years have passed, Chen Yu is alive and well, and, as far as he can see, the scenery is getting more and more beautiful.

The smile on his face grew more and more.

Around, more and more people gathered.

He has many friends.

I also have something I am interested in.

Sitting on the plane to London, Chen Yu took out a notebook full of words from his backpack, turned to one of the pages, and ticked the "study abroad" option.

Resting his chin with his left hand and turning the pen with his right, Chen Yu thought for a while, and wrote down the new goal on the paper:

I hope to meet someone and talk about a lifelong love.

The plane is about to take off.

Chen Yu put away the notebook, and when he was about to put away the pen, he failed to hold it properly and fell to the ground and rolled into the aisle.

He was just about to get up to pick it up, when he saw a pair of slender hands, picked it up first, and then, someone sat down in the empty seat beside him.

Chen Yu subconsciously turned his head.

The other party also turned around.

"Chen Yu?"

"Xie Yan?"

Hearing Chen Yu calling his name, knowing that Chen Yu still remembered him, Xie Yan was both surprised and happy, and returned the pen to Chen Yu, with a bright smile on his handsome face.

"Are you going to London to play, or to study abroad?"

"Study abroad." Chen Yu said.

"Which school? Maybe we're still alumni."

"Cambridge."

Xie Yan's smile deepened, and he stretched out his hand towards Chen Yu, "Hello, junior."

Chen Yu has long been freed from the nightmare of the past, he has reconciled with himself and the world, and no longer rejects same-sex contact.

He held Xie Yan's hand, raised the corner of his mouth, "Please teach me more, senior."

Suddenly, Xie Yan pulled Chen Yu over with the strength of the handshake, and hugged him lightly.

Caught off guard by being hugged, Chen Yu was stunned.

Xie Yan only hugged him for a moment, then quickly backed away, staring deeply at Chen Yu, his voice was soft and full of tenderness, "It's great to see you again."

After reacting, Chen Yu raised his head and bumped into a pair of eyes that seemed to be filled with stars.

After a few seconds, he laughed too.

"Well, that's good."