Remembering Me

I fought myself not to collapse in the ecstasy and relief that everyone else had, which was quite a feat given the amount of whiskey I'd downed the day before.Usually I don't and don't need to force myself to stay awake, but Harry's almost collapsed expression after the good news made me realize that it is quite necessary.

When it was just the two of us in sight, he poured out all the words he had left in his stomach—about how he saw the world slithering around him through the eyes of the snake, how he watched himself attack Aya. Se, how to feel the elasticity of the human body between the teeth and the warmth of the blood.

Yes, that's why he was so terrified.Worse than death is living in a world where someone important to you has been lost, and what is even more terrifying than that is doing it yourself.For someone like Harry, imagining the harm of family and friends was far more difficult than imagining his own death.

"Sires, I—I think I might be going crazy. In Dumbledore's office, before we touched the portkey, I felt like a snake for a second or two, I felt like a snake—when I looked My scar hurts so much when I look at Dumbledore - Sirius, I want to bite him -"

The information contained in Harry's incoherent description is enough to make someone like me feel the chills on the tip of his toes, but he doesn't need to know this.Those green eyes looked at me, almost beseeching in them.

"You need to sleep," I said firmly, "have some breakfast, go upstairs and rest, and see Arthur with them after lunch. You're stimulated, Harry, and you're worrying about what you just saw And blame yourself. It's a good thing you saw it, otherwise Arthur might be finished. Don't think about it."

The last thing I could do was to leave Harry alone in the dark pantry so he wouldn't see my hesitant and evasive look.Some feelings will not be numb by repeated tasting, and the pain caused by powerlessness is still as sharp as a knife after 14 years.

At noon - except for me - everyone went to St. Mungo's to see Arthur, and after writing Dumbledore I didn't pass the time before dinner in my usual way.Because someone was worrying about more important things, some information that I had ignored before floated up like removing the barrier above the bubbles.

The Weasleys are spending Christmas here, and maybe a good portion of the core members of the Order of the Phoenix!That's what Arthur almost killed, but I'm in no mood to feel guilty about my happiness right now - only happiness.The old house was filled with lively laughter again, and it was hard to keep my mouth from grinning just imagining how beautiful it might be.God, I thought Molly was annoying before?

After returning from the hospital, Remus and Tonks went to buy everything needed for Christmas. He was almost dumbfounded when he saw the list. This rare moment added to my mood.Mundungus was active in helping, I guess because he hoped he would still have stolen cauldrons in his basement for New Years.

With the Christmas Eve cleaning and decorating mostly done, the old house was so unrecognizable that my mother would have screamed if she walked in with her eyes closed.The cobwebs hung from the rusty chandeliers were replaced by holly and gold and silver ribbons, and unmelting snowflakes glistened on the ragged carpet, and the family tree was blocked by a big Christmas tree that Mundungus had brought, decorated with living things. sprites.Even the elf heads on the foyer wall have Santa hats and beards on them.

I thought about getting Kreacher a Santa hat or something, that would at least make him look as unobtrusive as the heads on the plaque.But this is probably also in the category of "giving clothes", and there is really no need to spoil a good hat, so let it go.But the thought reminded me that the little monster hadn't come out of a closet in a long time without tears and snot on its face, although I would never complain about it.

"Come to think of it, who's seen Kreacher lately?" I pull out a huge turkey from the pantry - it turns out how wise I was to order it earlier, and wait until the whole thing is settled before deciding on this size The turkeys are long gone - just ask Hermione, by the way.

Hermione, the only person in the house who was paying attention to Kreacher's whereabouts, was walking away from the kitchen cupboard.If she had been stuffing Christmas presents into Kreacher's nest, thank goodness he wasn't there.

"I haven't seen him since that night," said Harry. "You threw him out of the kitchen."

The question was answered by Halliday's friend, who stood by Hermione's side, but clearly dismissed the idea of ​​a gift.He had fully recovered from the shock of witnessing Arthur's attack in his dream, which in fact only seemed to bring him down for a day or so.That's why I care more about what Dumbledore does about it than he does, like James, whose troubles never stay overnight unless Lily has a new boyfriend.

After spending too much wasted time on the subject of Kreacher discussing its whereabouts, I promised the boys that I would look for him and left the turkey plate on the kitchen table with a clatter for Molly to attend to.

Then I took the new batch of dead rats I cleared out from cleaning and last night's leftover sandwiches and stuff to the attic and fed Buckbeak all the way humming my own tune "God bless you, happy hippogriff "—I haven't done that in years.

People who plan to come here for Christmas have been familiar with it for a few days, just sideways to avoid the bag of dead rats.But I didn't miss the dark look in Remus' eyes when I passed by—the pity that was obvious and unspoken.

yeah i know.After today is over, Christmas is over.In a few days the crowd will all clear up, leaving me and Kreacher to stuff the tapestry Christmas tree into some storage room that still has space or simply burn it down.Enthusiasts such as Molly Remus Tonks will definitely take the initiative to help with the aftermath, and I would suggest that they focus on adjusting the "vacation mode" to "work mode" first, and leave the chores to idlers.

That way at least I'll have something to do while living in Order headquarters.

Dropping the bags on the dirty floor of the attic, where I'd left myself, sat in a comfortable corner and watched Buckbeak take his time taking the stuff down.He first lowered his head and fiddled with the food in the bag, picked out the most satisfying one, picked it up, opened and closed his beak a few times, and then quickly swallowed and spit out hard parts such as skulls, the whole set of movements was rough but revealed a strange elegance.

I never forgot that no one could approach Piccolo under any pretense while he was eating, to whom bestial stubbornness was as ingrained as bestial sharpness.Even the owner - I prefer to call myself his friend - must never show the slightest threat to his food, no matter how long he has been together, he must bow before every approach, seriously, this is What annoys me the most about this monster is also my favorite.