Remembering Me

Then I came back.

"...I think she just can't."

"What?" I realized that I had missed the first half of Jessica's sentence just now.

"It's okay," she seemed to hesitate, "What were you thinking just now?"

I had only told a few friends about the specifics of that morbid and fanatical family, but thinking there was nothing to hide, I told her the whole story.The theme is fixed but the specific content has been unable to remember the lengthy "tutor", meaningless roars, banquets full of fuzzy faces, punishment after trouble, and the occasional flashes of tender moments in between.

The drool screaming maniac on the wall used to smile and touch my hair, why?I forgot.

"Do you remember anything about your mother?" I asked Jessica.

"Well...every time it appears on weekends or holidays, my father will set aside time for us to be alone. She will ask questions that relatives would ask when they visit, such as where to go to school and how the grades are. After getting the answer She just hugged and kissed me, said good night to me, and left the next morning. It was basically the same routine. What was really impressive was that after she said goodbye, she turned and walked away, and I looked at her back, Never saw her look back."

As she spoke, she seemed to think of something again, "And in retrospect, every time she appeared was when my life was about to change drastically. The last time was the Easter before I was about to approach a group of dark wizards for the first time. "

I was stunned for a moment, not delving into the meaning of this.

"Do you think she loves your father?" I asked.

I was a little worried about the abruptness of this question, but Jessica answered calmly and decisively, as if she had thought it through.

"Yes, and she loves me too, if you want to ask."

I don't know how to answer this question.

"Even if I didn't understand it when I was young, the last time I saw her, I had been a reporter for two years. The way she looked at me and my father was enough to explain everything." Jessica paused, reaching for the medicine bottle next to her Three drops were poured into the mouth. "I've thought of many possibilities as to why she left. Gypsies don't usually marry foreigners, my father's family didn't allow him to marry nonbelievers, her special status in the group - these are some of the words I got from her I figured it out here — asking her not to marry, etc. Then I came to a simpler conclusion, she just couldn't."

"Can't what?" I remembered the first half of her sentence that I hadn't heard before.

"Looking into the eyes of a loved one saying vows, settling down, having children, she doesn't belong in this life. She can't change her nature, and my father and I combined are not as important as she is." Jessica turned her head and looked at me, "Now I understand."

Those black eyes inherited from a woman who also called herself Jessica were clear and blazing, surging with the brightness and madness of a whole summer.

I think I get it too, and I get up and leave.

The legs took me back to the only bedroom covered in gold and red, the door slammed behind me, I threw myself on the bed, and fell into the quilt with my arms and legs spread out.Perhaps it was the effect of alcohol, I fell into a dream as soon as I closed my eyes.The world in the dream was upside down and chaotic, with flashes of various colors passing through the lifeless bodies of James and Lily, and Jessica's still childish face was sometimes blurred and sometimes clear.

The next day, the old house welcomed two Aurors for the first time since September.

After a night of intermittent light sleep, I walked out of the room, and when I went down to the living room, I found that the dishes on the coffee table and the wine bottles on the floor were gone, and the newspapers were neatly piled up in a stack.Tonks dozed off where I sat last night, nodding his head rhythmically.

Jessica was still lying in place wrapped in a blanket, and the medicine on the coffee table was about a third missing.She looked tired from the blood loss and the night, but seemed to be doing fine.

"She heard about my injury from Howlett and came over as soon as the mission was over. I tried to persuade her, but she refused to find a place to lie down to sleep." She answered my doubts.

My head was throbbing with a familiar frequency. I pressed the sides of my forehead and simply responded and walked to the basement without meeting Jessica's eyes.

Bob is making a peanut butter sandwich, and in the bowl next to him are eggs, presumably for an omelet.Kitchen toast with peanut butter and his monolithic face, a scene that I would have found absurd if I had been in the mood to pay attention.Thinking of the unprecedented cleanliness of the living room in the past few months, I guess that as a bachelor, he should have a better life than me.

He nodded at me as a greeting.And I gratefully smell the aroma in the kitchen, God knows, I really need coffee right now.

A few minutes later, Tonks, Bob and I sat in different corners of the couch enjoying Bob's handiwork.A bleary-eyed Tonks shows off his sandwich to Jessica, who can't eat yet, nearly dropping it into a coffee mug.Jessica could already sit up, rolling her eyes in protest at Tonks' bullying of the patient.

Bob had work to do, ate his share quickly, said goodbye to us briefly, and went into the fireplace.With a hangover and a diet that hasn't been normal for some days, the sudden entry of food made my stomach queasy, but I managed to get the whole breakfast down my throat before Tonks.

In the middle of the cleaning, Tonks squeezed in beside me, and she was holding half a sandwich in her mouth, helping to move and smash the dishes.

"So, how are you and Jessie?" she asked, swallowing hard.

"That's it." I looked down to fix her broken plate.

"You guys quarreled." There was no doubt in the tone.

"Whatever you want." The plate flew into the cupboard, clanging against its contents.

"I can't believe you!" she yelled, lowering her voice. "Sickness and injury are the best time to impress a girl, but you use it to quarrel with her? My God, are you out of your mind?"

"That's right!" I stared at Tonks, who was obviously frightened, "My brain has been ruined by Azkaban! But I don't need a brain to know that your skull must be filled with those perfumes." Full enough to feel like I'm going to need to 'impress' anybody. Now step aside, I think Buckbeak is better for my IQ."

She froze for a few seconds, and didn't realize it until I rushed up the steps.

"Don't blame me for your emotional setbacks! I'm not your punching bag!"

Tonks' voice was so loud that I was sure Jessica in the living room heard it too, and I didn't pay attention to her expression as I rushed up the steps.It wasn't until I reached the attic that I remembered that I had forgotten to feed Buckbeak, so I had to turn back.When I passed by the sofa for the third time, I finally couldn't help but turn around and look. Tonks folded his arms and glared at me angrily. Jessica next to her seemed to announce yesterday that she would return to the Dark Wizard within three days. It is generally calm when going in, but the black pupils are deep and unpredictable.

I passed them and went straight to Buckbeak's garret.After wolfing down the chicken breast I gave him, he raised his head high and refused to look at me, flapping his wings.It's a sign of anger, which he does whenever I forget to feed him because I'm drunk.But today I was not in the mood to appease him, and I sat in the corner where I always stayed, and I was in a daze.

After a while, a paw appeared in my sight.I looked up and almost thought I was going to be dessert when I met those orange eyes that were still dark and prey.Buckbeak looked at me with his head straight for a moment, then on one side, bent his front knee, sank, and lowered his head.

I watched this bow inexplicably for a while before I realized it, and patted his beak gratefully.

"Thanks, old chap."

Many times I feel that this monster is much smarter than me—even most people.