light adaptation

"Qiannian." Zhou Jian called him to stop, "I want to chat with you."

After the meal, the group wanted to continue playing, but Bi Qiannian and Ning Zhanmei declined and planned to go home.Ning Zhuo has returned to Zhiqiong City these few days, Ning Zhan frowned for half a month and asked Bi Qiannian to come and stay at home for a few days, and finally agreed.

The two were waiting for the bus, and Zhou Jianzhu stopped him at the end of the crowd.

Ning Zhanmei was still on one side, and he asked with a smile, "Is there anything inconvenient to say?" Zhou Jian also found him unpleasant, and already had a guess in his heart, but Ning Zhanmei preempted him when he wanted to answer, "Oh, just now It's not convenient to say who you liked in junior high school, and now you are pulling someone to confess affectionately?"

"It's none of your business." Zhou Jian was a little annoyed.

Ning Zhanmei wanted to reply, but Bi Qiannian stopped him, "Just talk here."

"he--"

"He is my lover. He will be jealous when the two of us talk alone. We have to coax him then, so save yourself some trouble." Bi Qiannian had no expression on his face.

Ning Zhan's eyebrows calmed down, and he stopped looking at Zhou Jian coldly. He held Bi Qiannian's hand without letting go, and was so proud that he almost hummed a song.

Zhou Jian seemed to be relieved, and said dejectedly, "Are you still refusing to forgive me? Qiannian."

Bi Qiannian felt very tired, "Those things are completely unimportant to me, do you understand? They are in the past."

"Then why do you keep avoiding me?"

"Because you did hurt me, and I don't want to forgive you. This does not conflict with the past." Bi Qiannian said, "They made me have a bad impression of you. I don't like you. So I want to stay away from you, which should not be difficult to understand."

Ning Zhanmei was actually a little surprised that Bi Qiannian said such calm and decisive words, which was very inconsistent with his usual gentle appearance.

Zhou Jian's complexion was very gray and defeated, like a child who had been hit, but it was difficult for people to feel sympathy or tolerance for him.

"Okay, I won't look for you again in the future." He still looked at the hands they held together unwillingly, as if he would never repent, "But I still really like you very much." Zhou Jian finally said.

Bi Qiannian and Ning Zhanmei got on the bus, and there was no need to say the words of refusal. Zhou Jian's only advantage might be long-lasting love, but if he didn't understand that continuing to entangle after being rejected would only appear stubborn and troublesome.

"He seems to like you quite a bit." Ning Zhanmei said aside, the car was passing the Yunjiang River, the sky was getting dark, and there was no joy or anger on his face, Bi Qiannian hummed, saying it was possible.

Absently.

The street lights were flickering in the night, but there was no light in the car, Ning Zhanmei squeezed Bi Qiannian's hand with some strength, Bi Qiannian turned to look at him, "What's wrong?"

"What do you think, tell me."

"I miss Zhou Jian."

"Come on, I'll be so sad."

Bi Qiannian smiled, "You said he likes me, but I don't think so." Ning Zhanmei indicated that he was listening.

"He had a good relationship with me when he was in junior high school. We ate together, did homework, and asked me to watch the game—" Ning Zhanmei interrupted him, "There's no need to elaborate, right? You're heartless."

Bi Qiannian squeezed his hand reassuringly, "I mean, he was very cheerful in junior high school, not only played well with me, he had many friends, and he was a bit competitive, but boys, like this On the contrary, he is popular. But today, you see, I think he is very depressed, even a little gloomy."

Bi Qiannian was silent for a few seconds, "Does he still like me? I don't think so, I think he regards me as a "failure". He is not as energetic as before, and he is very...depressed when facing me , and a little unwilling." It was really uncomfortable to watch.

Bi Qiannian concluded his statement, "He actually refused to admit that he failed with me."

Ning Zhanmei thought about it after listening, "Maybe, but it's inevitable to feel depressed when facing someone you like but rejects you? It's actually quite normal."

"Of course it's possible." Bi Qiannian nodded, and he added, "But it's still not the same. The way he looked at me made me very uncomfortable, as if he was begging me, and seemed to hold resentment."

Bi Qiannian lowered his head, he had also been friends with Zhou Jian for a year, this is a healthy and outgoing boy, he doesn't talk much, but people can always feel his vitality and vigor.It's just that after falling in love with Bi Qiannian, she gradually exposed her selfishness and cowardice.

Is Zhou Jian always like this or is it because of his puberty that he likes to sprout and become timid?

Like to make people impulsive, but also teach people to be careful and patient.It's hard to hide her liking, and she's shy about keeping secrets.There are countless ways to express love, it makes roses grow in the desert, and love poems are read by the mute, but is it selfish or selfless?

It's hard to answer, Bi Qiannian thought, but liking shouldn't be a failure no matter what.Why does Zhou Jian feel that this is a failure?

On the way to Ning Zhanmei's house, Bi Qiannian didn't say much, Ning Zhanmei only pretended that he was still thinking about it, and didn't make a sound to bother him, and was going to kiss him enough to admit his mistake at night.

The door closed, Bi Qiannian changed into his slippers, and finally came to his senses, "Ning Zhanmei, what would you think if I didn't like you?" He asked.

"What do you think?" Ning Zhanmei looked at him, and went into the kitchen to make a cup of milk tea for Bi Qiannian, "I will probably be disappointed for a while."

"and then?"

"If there is no more, we won't start. Maybe we will be friends."

But Bi Qiannian seemed to become uneasy because of this possibility, "Won't you try again? Something like that."

Why doesn't Ning Zhanmei feel like a failure?

In Ning Zhanmei's mouth, he liked it and couldn't get a response, which turned into a drama that ended quickly. He knew that Zhou Jian's idea was wrong, but he was a little hypocritical and didn't want Ning Zhanmei to let him go easily under the assumption that he didn't like it.Bi Qiannian thought, love does make people selfish.

"I won't trap myself here with you." Ning Zhanmei said calmly, piercing the solidified milk powder with a long silver spoon, "If it does happen, it can only end here."

Bi Qiannian nodded, indicating that he understood.

He felt a little sour, although it was very unreasonable - it was you who made the assumption that you didn't like Ning Zhanmei and wanted him to love you forever, but he did taste a bit of unwarranted bitterness of loss.At the same time, because of Ning Zhanmei's thoroughness and decisiveness, he finds him very charming.

Bi Qiannian felt that Zhou Jian's matter ended here, and Ning Zhanmei himself seemed like a rational and perfect answer. He looked at his mature and decisive lover, and felt a little happy—fortunately, he was liked by him.

The two sat on the sofa in the living room without turning on the TV, and the room was very quiet.

Ning Zhanmei looked at Bi Qiannian drinking milk tea in a daze, and knew that what he said was not what a couple in love should say. He might have said that he would always pester him and was unwilling to let him go, but he chose this reality.

"Bi Qiannian," he sighed, "listen to me a few more words?"

Bi Qiannian held the cup and hummed.

"There is another hypothesis. What if you met someone you like earlier? What if Zhou Jian confessed to you frankly?" Ning Zhanmei took a breath, "What if you jumped into the river and didn't get back?"

This is Ning Zhanmei's inseparable fear.

After seeing Tong Zhi, he kept thinking about it, and realized that Bi Qiannian was loved by many people, but these suitors didn't seem to be bright and brave enough, which made his later self take advantage of the loophole.

In fact, he was easily jealous, jealous of Tongzhi growing up with him, being able to hold him when he was gloomy, and even jealous of the moment of silence when Bi Qiannian was thinking about Zhou Jian along the way.He is very disturbed.

The afterimage of Bi Qiannian jumping into the river always flashed in his mind, and he even woke up several times in his dream. The moon outside the twelve-story building was eerily white, and his pajamas were almost wet with sweat.Ning Zhanmei did not talk to Bi Qiannian.

It seemed that he was extremely lucky to be able to walk to Bi Qiannian's side and hold his hand. It seemed that he had lost him countless times in the changing scenes, and he was lost again and again in danger.

"Actually, I'm quite scared." Ning Zhanmei heard himself say.

He had his uneasiness, but he didn't want to reveal it to his lover, which seemed to damage his self-esteem and was not decent.

He always likes to tease him, he would kiss Bi Qiannian on the cheek and pinch his hand whenever possible, so he was afraid.Always worried that Bi Qiannian would have the determination to leave him without hesitation at any time, just like that leap without thinking, he knew that of course Bi Qiannian would not, this was his insecurity that he needed to heal himself.So he didn't say anything, but just felt the temperature of Bi Qiannian's blush in each touch, to confirm that he would not leave, that he might love him.

While Bi Qiannian brought him completeness, it also made him realize the never-before-seen worry about gains and losses. Ning Zhanmei realized that 100% perfection may not exist, and if he gets one, there is a risk of losing one.

Bi Qiannian looked at his lover with some surprise, because Ning Zhanmei seemed to always be able to do whatever he wanted, he liked to make innocuous jokes, and he was able to control his sense of proportion and his own heart skillfully.

Bi Qiannian never thought that Ning Zhanmei would feel scared. He held the milk tea cup - Ning Zhanmei specially bought it for him, light blue - dipped in a mouthful of milk foam, and stared at him blankly, looking stupid and stupid. cute.

Ning Zhanmei regretted saying this a little bit, and after showing his uncertainty and fear, he was rarely at a loss, seeing Bi Qiannian's blank look, he wanted to laugh, and wanted to take the topic away.He wanted to lean over and kiss the sweetness on Bi Qiannian's lips.

Bi Qiannian avoided it and put the cup on the tea table.

He said, "Ning Zhanmei, I'm sorry."

He forgot.

Since the day he fell into the water with Ning Zhanmei, he seldom thought about the past. He was engulfed by the sweetness after being with Ning Zhanmei, and he fell in love quickly with joy, but he forgot that the process of wound bleeding and scabbing is slow. If Ning Zhanmei jumped into the river in front of him, could he just turn around and forget about it?

Besides, is Ning Zhanmei really as relaxed as he showed?Maybe others can think so, but I who have seen Ning Zhanmei's tears should not take it for granted, they are lovers.

"I'm sorry," Bi Qiannian apologized in a hurry. He seemed to be always immersed in his own thoughts. For Bi Qian and Zhou Jian, he didn't distract himself from giving Ning Zhanmei the attention he deserved. All explanations were powerless. He had to say it again, "I'm sorry."

Ning Zhan shook his hand reassuringly, "Why do you apologize? I was thinking too much."

Bi Qiannian shook his head, stepped forward and hugged him, it was not convenient to hug him on the sofa, so he straddled Ning Zhanmei's lap, clinging to him tightly.He and Ning Zhanmei had kissed many times, but they had never been this close. He didn't have time to think about it, but instinctively made the closest gesture.

"It's my problem," Bi Qiannian said, with his head resting on Ning Zhanmei's shoulder, "I do ignore you a little bit. Because I'm pretty sure you'll be here, you like me and kiss me often, I know I'm You really like it." His face still blushed easily.

"So relying on this conviction to ignore you, it's my fault." He staggered the neck where Ning Zhan was intertwined, and looked at him with a pair of round eyes, "It won't happen in the future."

He seemed to be doing a self-criticism, but also seemed to be making a promise never to break his promise.

"like you."

Bi Qiannian said, with a flushed face, it looked extremely soft under the dim warm light in the living room, and there was also a love that could not be ignored, becoming a stream of autumn water gurgling between Ning Zhan's eyebrows.

"I only like you."

This seemed to be Bi Qiannian's limit, so solemn, so determined, that Ning Zhan's eyebrows trembled, and he felt unusually stable.

Ning Zhanmei grabbed the back of his neck and raised his head to kiss him.

He gently rubbed Bi Qiannian's lips, exchanging sweet and astringent thoughts with him, hooking, biting, and fell on the narrow sofa, his safety and anxiety fell into the night, panting lightly, wet The eyes demanded from him and were at his disposal.

Ning Zhanmei felt a sense of satisfaction that was about to overflow.

He bent down to give the forbidden fruit that those eyes begged for, his safety and uneasiness were his, his perils were unpredictable, his longing for.

They naturally had a more vivid and straightforward reaction. Bi Qiannian's face was already flushed, but he boldly stretched out his hand, trying to satisfy Ning Zhanmei's wishes, desires, and everything about Ning Zhanmei as much as possible.

Ning Zhanmei kissed his side face, encouraged him by his ear, and coaxed him, like a cunning beast that shows weakness and then begs for success.

Hardness and softness fit together, as if they were about to merge into one. For the first time, the moon outside the twelve-story building was so clear and beautiful.Ning Zhanmei leaned over Bi Qiannian's face and let out a contented sigh, he fell into his safety and anxiety.

Love makes people full of longing for the future, and it also makes it hard to forget the dying blood of the past.

Is it the grand summer full of greenery and the never-ending wind in Shuiyun City?Is completeness the collection of all good and happiness?No, Ning Zhanmei thought.

It should also have his cowardice, the fear of waking up in the middle of the night, and the uneasiness he concealed after repeated touches.

His integrity is not entirely beautiful, he once exposed his fragility in front of Bi Qiannian, and tried hard to hide it after becoming his lover.He advertised to the demonstrators that Bi Qiannian belonged to him, confident and handy, showing no trace of hesitation or fear, because of that subtle self-esteem and unwillingness to be outdone.

But that's all he is.

Bi Qiannian tenderly accepted this kind of him in repeated long kisses, obtained the complete him, and dedicated his unique love to him.

his safety and security.

Ning Zhanmei realized that he might be uneasy for a long time, but he didn't have to be tortured by it anymore, because this was the completeness of his love for Bi Qiannian.

He already knew that his safety and insecurity would fall for him every time he showed vulnerability.