The days when I pretended to be a cat in the Forbidden City[Comprehensive]

Liu Xiaozhu's ambition has not been realized for the time being. The prerequisite for two peaches to kill three warriors is to have a sufficient understanding of the characters of these three warriors, otherwise it will be very easy to get burned, and now the big man has not obtained enough information about the Xiongnu, especially the most subtle distribution of benefits and various aspects. Tribal affiliation, etc. They still want insiders to defect if they can.

After all, the right sent by the Huns this time was not as skilled in diplomacy as the left, and their vigilance was not as high.In addition, since he was making himself fond of drinking, his subordinates naturally followed suit. He got a lot of news from these emissaries, and even got in touch with several of them, so there is a possibility of development.

But in any case, it will take a long time for these buried chess pieces to play a role.For the current situation, the big man has no choice but to cast a wide net. Fortunately, the envoy of the Huns seems to be fascinated by the beautiful scenery, wine and beauties of Chang'an. The date of departure has been delayed again and again, which gave the relevant personnel a chance to approach .

The Huns envoys also had their own agendas.

Ai Aidi, the right side of the Xiongnu, discussed with Liu Qi to open a trade port on the west side of the Han Dynasty when they met the saint. Although this request was declined by Liu Qi, Liu Qi's attitude when he refused this time was obviously much more relaxed. It didn't mention the price issue at all, only said that the environment is not suitable, and compared with the north, the radiation circle in the west is smaller.

Regarding the issue that only the Yanmen Daijun could not benefit the right part of the Huns, Liu Qi was very surprised and said that we didn't know that the Huns would have separate ducks. Aren't you a tribe?What?It is actually divided into three departments, the left and right and the headquarters?So why don't you tell us where it's more convenient for you?

The Xiongnu envoy saw how kind and enthusiastic the emperor of the Han Dynasty was, so he muttered to the interpreter for a while, and told the interpreter that the grassland was divided into three before the accompanying deputy envoy of the Huns had time to stop him. It is suggested that the trading port can be placed in Longxi, but after being rejected, Yunzhong is also fine.Although strictly speaking, Yunzhong also belongs to the left side of the Huns, but it is closer to the right side than Yanmen.

Liu Qi said with a smile that we will consider it, and please wait for the notice from your chief chanyu.

Afterwards, the Xiongnu envoy went back as if he had been educated, and he became more cautious in speaking after that, and even stayed in the building for drinking at night, but Liu Qi's temporary departure from Chang'an gave him an inspiration. At this time, he asked to see the crown prince Liu Che.

Liu Che, the doll's name is well-known on the prairie.

Mainly negative.

One was used to attack the emperor who was ignorant of people and was so dazed by a woman that he actually gave up his adult son and chose a cub.

The other is to attack this little brat who has never seen the world, and he has been mesmerized by a mere Western Region knife from King Zuoguli, and he is ashamed to ask for it.

In short, Liu Xiaozhu existed on the grassland as someone else's little boy, which was specially decompressed by the Xiongnu family's short stories, and various elements were added out of various needs.It has been passed down by word of mouth on the grassland for several years, and the image of Liu Xiaozhu, the idiot son of the landlord's family, has been deeply rooted in the hearts of the people.

Regardless of how inexplicable it was for the Han army who went deep into the grassland a few years later to know the rumors in the rivers and lakes, and how the young Han emperor couldn't laugh or cry, but now he has actually received a benefit.

The Xiongnu envoy had an idea, and handed over a note asking to see the emperor of Han.Of course, the emperor of the Han Dynasty would definitely not be able to see him while he was in a bath. His Royal Highness the Crown Prince received them in order to show respect.

This move is in the hands of the "cunning" envoy of the Huns. I'm not easy to do, isn't it easy to fool the little prince?Once the little prince agreed, either the emperor of the Han Dynasty would declare that what the prince said did not count, or he would stick to it in order to protect the prince's face. Either way would be extremely beneficial to the Huns.

The little prince seemed very excited to undertake this kind of governing task for the first time, his eyes sparkled, and he even dragged his elder brother along... 噫!At this age, the boys in our prairie don't know how to drag their elder brothers in everything. They are really squeamish little brats.

The envoy of the Xiongnu lowered him a little bit in his heart, but he couldn't see it on the surface. He took out a gift he carefully prepared-a Western Region horse that was still young, but he could already see its appearance as a steed. horse.

This horse was not included in the New Year's gift before. The emissary's explanation for this was that the horse fell ill during the long journey, so the emissary crossed it off the gift list, but he did not expect that the big man's body would be a little bit weaker. Turning around, it means that I have a relationship with His Highness.

Liu Che was naturally very happy to receive this gift, and this horse was already taller than local horses before it reached adulthood, so it is conceivable that its breed must be excellent.And best of all, it's a stallion.In other words, in a few years he could have many, many pony pups with excellent bloodlines!

Liu Che touched the neck of the horse, which looked very bad-tempered and had a fierce look in its eyes, which was being pulled by the groom. He accepted the gift and seemed to be in a good mood. Then he invited The envoys of the Huns visited the garden together.

The little prince said that the two trade ports between the Han and the Huns were determined after discussions between the Han and the King of the Huns, and it would not be easy to add them.But for the sake of this gift, he quietly revealed to the envoy that when King Zuoguli came last time, he heard that King Zuoguli thought that two holes are enough now, and there is no need to add more. oh.

"Because people in your royal court think that the Huns should not wear silk and use porcelain." Liu Che sat in the main seat and asked someone to pour a cup of tea for the Huns envoy.

The Xiongnu envoy was a little disgusted that the teacup looked small, not enough for him to drink in one sip, but when he picked it up, he found that there were dark lines on the teacup, and the image of a goshawk was outlined with a few strokes.He raised the cup and looked towards the bright room without caring about the burning of his hands, and saw that the goshawk was clearly transparent from the inside of the teacup, as if it was hollowed out, but it was clearly soaked here. No leaks in the water!

The big Hun family believed that he had seen many rare and rare treasures. He suppressed his gaffe and touched them back and forth without any trace. It was flat.It is also said that the craftsmen of the Han people used some means to cut out the middle layer, and then added another layer on the front and back.

how did you do that?So ingenious!The envoys of the Huns could hardly find words to praise its beauty.

— want to possess!

This is his most instinctive reaction.

The second is to calculate how many slaves, how many women, how many cattle and sheep can be exchanged for such things if they are handed over to merchants.He panted heavily, as if he could see the women walking side by side, and the flock of sheep rolling on the grassland like white clouds.

"The envoy likes this teacup?" The boy's clear and tender voice broke the envoy's imagination. The Hun envoy froze, and he raised his head stiffly, his entire expression froze.

Liu Che didn't seem to mind at all, "The envoy has a good eye, and I like this tea set very much, but because the envoy gave me a gift before, I can give it to you if the envoy likes it." Clapping hands, after a while, the ladies of the court filed in, and placed a whole set of white glazed porcelain with dark patterns, tea utensils and bowls in front of the envoy. There were fourteen pieces in total.

Liu Che acted as if he didn't see the envoy's eyes completely glued to these utensils, so he introduced the treasure of this craft to the envoy with special enthusiasm.

He also falsely said to people, "We will choose the most exquisite one from the whole kiln, do you know what will happen to the rest?"

"Why, what should I do?" Not only the messenger, but even the interpreter brought by the messenger looked at the little prince with curious and excited eyes.Liu Che slowly lifted a porcelain bowl on the table, put it on the edge of the table, and then slowly let go of his little hand.

The porcelain bowl fell and shattered.

"Hiss—" All the envoys took a deep breath, their expressions were nervous and distressed, and those who were close were about to rush out of their seats to save the porcelain bowl.However, the little prince didn't care about it, "That's it, it's all broken."

With his little chin held high, he said proudly: "In order to ensure that no piece of porcelain is unique, we always only want the best."

"The envoy doesn't know that every year we have to destroy the small hills of porcelain."

Not only the Huns, but even several officials of the big man were taken aback by the little prince's words.Xia Anran, who was on the sidelines, silently raised his teacup and took a sip of tea to cover his twitching mouth. My younger brother has a talent for acting, why didn't he see it at the beginning?

In fact, what Liu Che said was right.

In the age of hand-made, are there still two identical utensils in this world?Want nothing.

As for the hill-like pieces of porcelain... that's right, the temperature control of kilns is difficult nowadays, especially for slightly more complex utensils, the burst rate is very high, every time the kiln is opened, only [-] to [-]% of them are successfully made into porcelain, and there is no flaw in them There are only less than [-]% of them, and the rest more or less have defects such as dripping glaze and staining dust.

Broken porcelain pieces are piled up in piles, but it has become a hill.

So strictly speaking, the younger brother was only exaggerating a little, not a deceit—only he himself knew how much self-deception was in the little king's heart.

Seeing that the atmosphere was getting better, Liu Che sighed sadly, "However, there are not many people who are as appreciative as the envoy, hey."

The envoy swallowed with difficulty and a little excitedly, but to his surprise, the little prince gave him a set of porcelain without saying anything, which made the envoy feel a little empty in addition to being vigilant.If the crown prince really discussed some porcelain business with him, he would still put on a gesture and refuse, but now he seems to be a child mentality, let me introduce to you how good the things I gave you are, but it made him feel itchy in his heart Not so tasteful.

On this day, in addition to porcelain, Liu Che also presented a batch of gifts on behalf of the Han royal family.It is exactly what Xia Anran wrote before, there are a lot of rice, salt and sugar in it, the quantity and value are quite considerable, even more abundant than what the Xiongnu Zuobu brought back two years ago.

It can be seen that the big man still values ​​the relationship with the Huns very much, and the Huns envoys are very satisfied with this.

After all, his colleague is an enemy, and he is also an envoy. He can get more benefits than the left, so he will naturally appear more face-saving.

The little prince also explained to him very sincerely that there were changes in the Dahan before, and there was a shortage of goods, so the amount of goods brought out during the previous trade was less. As a result, they were very happy with the things sent by the Huns this time. The state of the country, so this time it is a reciprocity.

The little prince spoke very awkwardly, and the interpreter struggled for a long time before he skimmed over some specific nouns.The Xiongnu envoy listened to the general idea, and came to the conclusion that the big man gave them so many things this time because of his own credit, and suddenly swelled.

In the next few days, when they finished their diplomatic missions and wandered in the street, they met a sneaky man hiding in a corner. As soon as he saw them, he came to sell goods, and sneakily gave them what he was selling-fingers.

Facts have proved that although this gadget looks inconspicuous, it is very important in the hearts of the nomads. The method that was successful on the left side of the Huns is equally effective on the right side.

You Danghu thought for a long time, and took out some salt in exchange for these fingers.

There are quite a few smart people in the mission team, this is their suggestion.

The disadvantage of the left side of the Xiongnu compared to the right side is salt. The right side can purchase salt from the Qiang people and the Western Regions, but the left side can only buy salt transported by them. Therefore, when considering what to exchange, the right side does not hesitate. Take out the cheapest salt for them.

He heard that this year, the amount of resources left in exchange for from the big man is extremely limited, and there is already a shortage of salt. Now he brings back a small amount of salt... That means that if the left wants to maintain its current life, it has to buy from the right. Salt.

——Anyway, it was a "tribute" sent by the Han Dynasty, and it was within the allowable range for them to exchange it for a certain amount of goods for convenience during transportation.If Wang Zhang is really unhappy, it's great that they will exchange salt for it at that time.If asked, they are prepared to say so.

You are [-]% sure that Wang Zhang has no opinion at all, because it would be a joke for the left to say that they did not seek benefits from so many missions.Today's tent of the Huns is like a wolf with its teeth pulled out, only playing checks and balances between the left and the right.

The right part of the Huns looked down on such a move.

Back then, Mao Dun Shanyu was able to unify the entire grassland not by any checks and balances, but by a solid iron fist, which convinced the Huns and Hu tribes.At that time, Mao Dun Shanyu also said that he was either a Han or a Hu, what a grandeur, but now... hehe.

It's hard to say that the right part doesn't have some thoughts in his heart. In the era when the strong are respected, if the head wolf shows fatigue, don't blame the wolves below for commotion.

But all this has nothing to do with the big man.

In addition to the salt, he also exchanged some extremely exquisite rouge, gouache, silk and satin cloth, as well as the hairpins that are popular among the Han people recently, which are inlaid with gemstones to look like butterflies. It is said that this is the latest style this year.

Of course these things are not for sale, he intends to give them to the Yan clans in the Wang Tent, both the left and the right and the Wang Tent, and he only hopes that these Yan clans will be able to say something good for him then.Being an envoy was really lucrative, and the caravan on the right that followed was almost full of bullock carts, and the bullocks had to be whipped to move a few times.

Needless to say, there is no need to worry about the income of the tribe in the coming year after taking this trip.

After the right-hand households had a hand in economics and trade in Chang'an City, the Han people politely sent them out of the pass, and waved their hands to say that our exchanges this year were very pleasant, and welcome to come back next year!

You Danghu kept waving his hands to express that I think so too, there is a saying that guests feel at home, you guys are so enthusiastic!I will try my best next year too.

After both sides turned their backs together, they all scolded each other as fools in their hearts.

The Huns ridiculed that the big man would be a milk doll who didn’t understand anything in the future, and the Han people ridiculed that a group of big men sent by the Huns were inferior to a few dolls in our country, and they were played around. ?

Liu Qi went to recuperate, and the government of the big man fell on the two little princes.But Dahan's operation process is very mature, most of the things are handed over to the three princes and nine ministers, and finally handed over to the two princes are major events or relatively stream-of-consciousness situations.

After sending away the Huns envoys, the entire court was still operating in an orderly manner.

I don't know how Liu Qi did it, the courtiers didn't express any objection to the little prince's supervision of the country, and even the queen mother of the supervision of the country gave up [-] to [-]% of the power this time.

This state made Liu Che flustered.

He felt something bad from this attitude, so the little prince turned up and down every day with a sullen face, very serious.Although Xia Anran went up and down the court normally as a vassal king, he did not have an upright status as an assistant to the government in the court, and could only make suggestions behind the scenes, but Liu Che persevered throughout the whole process. He showed the demeanor that a prince should have, Therefore, when he put forward the joking policy of "fooling" the Huns, he got the attention of his courtiers.

The Han people have been committed to igniting the flames of war on the grasslands, at least to make the three tribes hostile to each other. It would be even better if Zahu can be added.This program has been going on for nearly five years with great results.But Liu Che felt that it was not enough.

He is young and impatient, so he is naturally impatient and takes his time like Liu Qi's policy.

If Liu Qi's policy is to carefully pile up straws for the rich, and try to make the center of the straws ferment to generate heat, then Liu Che's hobby is to directly light the straws, and if the ignition is not enough, pour oil on them. To set you on fire.

His policies are very simple and rude, without him, sowing discord and fanning the flames.

Thanks to the Xiongnu Grassland for sending a leader who is much simpler than Yi Zhixie this time. Compared with the left side of the Huns who often deal with the Han people, the right side who mainly fights fiercely with various tribes in the Western Regions is generally simpler, and the left side He also received eccentricity and guidance from the king's account of the Huns. Relatively speaking, the right part seemed to be raised by a non-parent.

Of course, this is indeed the case, and the involvement in it is related to the period of Maodun Chanyu. There are historical problems. In short, the right side of the Xiongnu has been suppressed by the left side for nearly 100 years. It is impossible to say that there are no complaints. Liu Che took advantage of it. at this point.

He is going to write a letter next, which will be delivered to the Xiongnu Da Shanyu. This letter will express the great Han's fear of the sudden drop in shipments during the Han-Hungarian trade, and said that the difference has been entrusted to the right this time. Bring it over.To apologize, the stuff is of course free.

At the same time, he also copied a copy of the gift list and gave it to Da Chanyu exactly as it was.

As for whether the right-handed households of the Xiongnu can produce the same amount of goods when they arrive on the grassland, what does it have to do with the big man?

This strategy looks a bit simple, but here is the trick. This strategy is too simple and can be seen through at a glance, but because it is too simple, it will make the Huns who demonized the Han people feel that it does not seem like the handwriting of the Han people.

And because this plan seems a bit careless, and it’s okay to make mistakes, so all the bigwigs in the court looked at it with kind eyes and didn’t interfere much. His companions have perfected the plan and put it into practice, adding only a small amount of fuel to it.

Well, all the glory belongs to His Royal Highness.

But Liu Che has always had good luck. The only omission in this plan is that he wrote this letter deliberately, and it was not in line with his personality. Therefore, after the envoy left Beijing, everyone has been considering how to promote it.

But at this moment, a letter gave them enough reasons.

The letter begging for food written by the military minister Shanyu forced Princess Nangong to become a timely rain for the big man.Prince Han was furious after receiving the letter, saying that we have politely sent a batch of supplies to you, what else do you want?Are you going to compare your biceps?Come on, who is afraid of whom!

His words were quite violent, and after several revisions, he adjusted the wording slightly, making the whole letter look like it was written by a child who did not live up to his heart.Through the bamboo slips, it seemed that the child was waving his fist up and down. He didn't threaten at all, but looked very funny, especially in the eyes of the elders, this was someone who wanted to bite someone without even teeth. pup figure.

After Yi Zhixie received the letter, he didn't even doubt it, because in his heart and Nangong's description, the prince Liu Che of the big man was this image.

He read the letter of "brother-in-law" silently, and then his rough fingers from holding a knife and shooting arrows for a long time lightly slid across the number of gifts from the Han Dynasty to the envoy, without saying a word.But it seems that he doesn't mean to care about the Han people.If the Han people can send things over with understanding, he can not care about the time difference between this point and the two points, not to mention that from his point of view, this is actually a concession made by the Han people because of him, compared with the goods earned through trade. To be more face-saving.

Time passed slowly while waiting. The envoys of the Huns led a large group forward, which was naturally inferior to the envoys of the two countries galloping on horseback. By the time they arrived at the king's account, the quantity of goods presented by the Han army had been fully disclosed.

Everyone compared the delivered goods with what was written in the brochure... um... this matter is a bit subtle.

But at this time, the big man added fuel to the flames. Without his father's obstruction, the jumping big man prince issued three documents in a row. The central idea was—are you still my brother-in-law?Look at what you have given us over the years and what we have given you, stingy!Stingy!Can you really take care of my sister?Can you take care of my little nephew?If it doesn't work, you'd better send my sister and nephew back, my lord, I'll take care of them!

The military minister Shanyu immediately snatched the little prince's letter from his interpreter's hand and threw it on the ground. How dare this hairless brat provoke the great Xiongnu Shanyu and the master of the prairie in this way!

How dare he!

But what made him even more angry was that the data on the gift list did not match.

Reason suppressed his anger, the military official Shanyu waved his hand, and said with a gloomy face, "Check."

The reason why unspoken rules are unspoken rules is that they must not be displayed on the bright side.

In fact, this kind of operation is very normal. Many of the gifts that the big man gave to the grassland were heavy and scattered things, such as various special grains, such as unprocessed soybeans... cough cough, let alone whether the Huns can eat them well I am used to it, some things are indeed bulky and heavy.The big man gives you things but he doesn't care about the transportation, so if one accidentally sends a lot this time, and the Huns don't bring enough animal power, or one who doesn't resist the temptation and sells the animal power will naturally be embarrassing.

Of course, they can also buy the animal power of a big man, but after calculating the price, they will find that it is not cost-effective, so some messengers will decide to replace some things they don't think they need with lighter and more expensive goods, the first to bear the brunt is silk and satin. And porcelain, and then it is much more convenient to transport it back.

This kind of method is undoubtedly a trick, but it is also unacceptable-after all, Da Shanyu will definitely not pay the shipping fee for the gift from the big man.You can't let the envoy pay for it yourself, can you?And this move is mainly because the big man didn't put in the gift list.Since there is no gift list, those things on the grassland are naturally not good.

Of course, the Sino-Hungarian trade has only been in operation for a few years now, and no one has the courage to do this. If one is not good, the two regimes will fight.

But petty theft is inevitable.

Da Dan really didn't think about this problem, and he couldn't believe that his subordinates dared to steal supplies from the tribute to him. What a shame it is?

He was a little angry at that moment-why didn't the Han people release the gift list?Then I thought that the Huns didn't give out the gift list either.He can't grasp this point to make a fuss, otherwise he will be ridiculed for his laxity.

But in fact, the result is indeed the case.

Not only the right side of the Huns this time, but the left side also made such a move before.

Shan Yu, a military minister, might just laugh it off, but he will be slapped in the face by a big man.How noble the emperor's face is, to be slapped in the face by a boy who can be his son, who is also the heir to the other party's regime, how can the Great Chanyu who has dominated the grassland for many years bear it.

If you get angry for the king, you will have to pay back with blood.

An unprecedented cleansing activity was launched on the Xiongnu grassland. The war on the grassland has been burning for nearly half a year. The soldiers at the border have encountered many Hun tribes fleeing southward one after another.From their mouths, the Han army obtained a lot of precious grassland information.

In the spring and January of the third year of the Zhongyuan Dynasty, the Han Dynasty stopped celebrating the New Year for the first time on the grounds that the Huns could not guarantee the safety of the envoys.

In February, the two kings of the right side of the Xiongnu led their tribes suddenly approached Yunzhong and asked for an attachment.

This is the first time that the big man encountered such a large-scale surrender of Hu people.

The author has something to say:

Dou Ying: The subjects to be the emperor of our cat family - peace, kindness and honesty.

Liu Che: Well...

Dou Ying: Be kind to the emperor, be diligent and love the people balabalbala

Liu Che: Hmm...

Three years later

Xia Miao: Those things are all for the ordinary people. It is not enough to be a ruler who is too upright. The pursuit is to achieve the goal with the least loss.

Liu Che: (Suddenly excited + immediately ran away): Brother is right!

Xia Miao: Today, you have a powerful enemy, what are you going to do with them?

Liu Che silently raised two cat teasing sticks: the second cat teasing stick kills the third cat.

Xia Miao: ... Che'er, Wang Guo is on the opposite side, the cat teaser is useless.

After Liu Che painstakingly studied: Brother, I understand, we want to replace it with meat and bones!Two bones kill three dogs!

Dou Ying: After ten years of good practice, one minute of bad practice!

…………

The daily life of the Huns: eat, sleep and speak ill of the big man.

The image of the Han prince in the legend: stay!white!short!

Liu Che: ...Huh?